Do You Ever Ask..

[daycare]

I would end on a high note. Maybe just say something like I know my program is not the right fit for every family and as a mother I know how important it is to find the right one.

It was a pleasure having the opportunity to work with your family. Congrats on finding a a better for for dcb.

We will truly miss him

[spinnymarie]

I'd respond, too, something like:

Thanks for your feedback, I know it can be an uncomfortable situation so I appreciate your reply. I am glad you have found a place in which you feel comfortable and that is able to hold a spot for your new baby. Good luck in the future.


I would really want to address all the things she said, but I think it's better not to - even explaining the back rubbing thing and the mold won't really keep her from voicing her opinion if she's going to do it - however, you can now mention these things at interviews ahead of time ('We do have a really old house here, are you familiar with old houses? Do you have any concerns about it? We have it checked frequently for many 'old house issues' and can assure it is in the best of repair!' and 'I am a firm believer in helping children learn to sleep on their own!') That way if anyone has heard anything from her they will be over it right away. GL!

[Play Care]

I would end on a high note. Maybe just say something like I know my program is not the right fit for every family and as a mother I know how important it is to find the right one.

It was a pleasure having the opportunity to work with your family. Congrats on finding a a better for for dcb.

We will truly miss him

[Blackcat31]

This is the response I just received:



I'm definitely hurt that they never addressed any of these issues with me. I do want to say that the way my house smells is NOT because of mold/mildew, but because it's a 94 year old house. It's had this distinct "old" smell since my parents bought it 20 years ago... and it's been inspected several times since then (the most recent was 2 years ago because I wanted to make sure the home was in good shape before I took over the payments). Also, they came for the interview and nothing was said then.

First, I am sorry you are feeling hurt by their comments but I am sure she is just letting it all hang out since you asked..kwim? Not necessarily nice but I also sense they are piling it on because they basically weren't happy you set boundaries about some things and perhaps they wanted to leave then but didn't want to until they secured other care.

They said so when they mentioned the new provider holding an infant space and their troubles finding the care they had (you).

The comment I made about not rubbing his back forever is slightly out of context. I let her know that they only way he would sleep was if I rubbed/patted his back and that I would work on getting him able to sleep on his own without needing that. Both dcm and dcd made comments to me about how he never sleeps, even at night.. so obviously getting him to sleep on his own is not a priority for them.

This ^^^ is a perfect example. You were 100% reasonable and logically AND honest with them about why you couldn't rub their child's back forever. I'm sure as parents they were hurt by that. Even if it's true.

Also, the amber necklace was non-negotiable and I told them that at the interview. They were totally ok with it. I also told them at the interview that I could not guarantee a space for their baby due towards the end of the year as I don't hold spaces.

Another example of them piling it on. This was ok until they found better care or care that WILL do what they want so now it's not okay...kwim?

It's just frustrating that most of their concerns (other than the back rubbing) were issues they were aware of at the interview.

Again, it's because it was okay (or at least, something they could live with) until they found care that WOULD do as they wished.

You weren't the right fit for them but I guarantee you it was NOT personal.

Oh well, they're gone. No big deal. The fact, though, that she was previously blowing up the local Facebook groups looking for a daycare for maybe the past year or so and yet hasn't at all since I enrolled them makes me wonder if they didn't have someone lined up all along. She had told me that her previous daycare provider was having health issues so I wonder if I wasn't just back up until their other provider was well again.

See? Even you have some "instincts" that something wasn't right from the get-go. Whether it was an old provider or a new one, I think you were just the "will do for now" provider.

NOT because you aren't a good provider, because YOU ARE...just that some parents like providers that WILL do their way..it's not personal.


Do I address her issues in my response or just so too bad so sad? She frequents the local FB groups a LOT and often makes comments on posts about the providers. I'd hate for her to spread that there's a "lack of care" here (WHICH THERE ISN'T!!) or that my home has mold.

I would take the high road and thank her for her feedback, wish her well and move on. It doesn't feel good when the feedback isnt nice but you have to apply it to the WHOLE picture and not just the words they are using.

I also replied above in blue.

Alone NONE of those things were a big deal but once you asked for feedback...they were happy to give it since they had other care arrangements in place.

I also think they didn't bother to come to you to work on these issues because they were probably waiting for their regular provider all along like you said, or simply decided to look for one that would work with their requirements but stayed with you until that happened.

It ****s sometimes but it happens. Don't let it get you down. :hug:

[craftymissbeth]

Thank you guys for your replies. I agree that the best way to handle this is to just thank her and move on. Oh how I wish I could explain everything to her, but it wouldn't help. I know that... it just ****s when someone finds faults in you or your daycare that aren't necessarily faults, kwim?

I love how I can come here and get perspective on my issues. I totally agree with dcm that we were not the right fit and that every family needs to find the perfect provider they just love. It just stinks when we're not the one

[nannyde]

This is the response I just received:



I'm definitely hurt that they never addressed any of these issues with me. I do want to say that the way my house smells is NOT because of mold/mildew, but because it's a 94 year old house. It's had this distinct "old" smell since my parents bought it 20 years ago... and it's been inspected several times since then (the most recent was 2 years ago because I wanted to make sure the home was in good shape before I took over the payments). Also, they came for the interview and nothing was said then.

The comment I made about not rubbing his back forever is slightly out of context. I let her know that they only way he would sleep was if I rubbed/patted his back and that I would work on getting him able to sleep on his own without needing that. Both dcm and dcd made comments to me about how he never sleeps, even at night.. so obviously getting him to sleep on his own is not a priority for them.

Also, the amber necklace was non-negotiable and I told them that at the interview. They were totally ok with it. I also told them at the interview that I could not guarantee a space for their baby due towards the end of the year as I don't hold spaces.


It's just frustrating that most of their concerns (other than the back rubbing) were issues they were aware of at the interview.


Oh well, they're gone. No big deal. The fact, though, that she was previously blowing up the local Facebook groups looking for a daycare for maybe the past year or so and yet hasn't at all since I enrolled them makes me wonder if they didn't have someone lined up all along. She had told me that her previous daycare provider was having health issues so I wonder if I wasn't just back up until their other provider was well again.


Do I address her issues in my response or just so too bad so sad? She frequents the local FB groups a LOT and often makes comments on posts about the providers. I'd hate for her to spread that there's a "lack of care" here (WHICH THERE ISN'T!!) or that my home has mold.

Thank you guys for your replies. I agree that the best way to handle this is to just thank her and move on. Oh how I wish I could explain everything to her, but it wouldn't help. I know that... it just ****s when someone finds faults in you or your daycare that aren't necessarily faults, kwim?

I love how I can come here and get perspective on my issues. I totally agree with dcm that we were not the right fit and that every family needs to find the perfect provider they just love. It just stinks when we're not the one

They found a better deal. Her reasons and actions are suspect.