Do You Ever Ask..

[craftymissbeth]

Why a family terminates you? Dcm of my new 15 mo dcb just turned in her 2 week notice. I saw her drop an envelope in my drop box so I went out and talked to her and said thank you we'll see you guys next Thursday. She said ok! And left. In the envelope was their two week notice saying I'm not a good fit for him or their family and they're not returning. She did enclose a check for the next two weeks.

I suspect it's because he's having a hard time adjusting but he was only here a total of five days!

Do you ever ask them WHY you're not a good fit? If it's something I can change then obviously I'd like to know.

[Blackcat31]

Why a family terminates you? Dcm of my new 15 mo dcb just turned in her 2 week notice. I saw her drop an envelope in my drop box so I went out and talked to her and said thank you we'll see you guys next Thursday. She said ok! And left. In the envelope was their two week notice saying I'm not a good fit for him or their family and they're not returning. She did enclose a check for the next two weeks.

I suspect it's because he's having a hard time adjusting but he was only here a total of five days!

Do you ever ask them WHY you're not a good fit? If it's something I can change then obviously I'd like to know.

Yes. I stress to parents upon enrollment that the best thing they can do for their child is to have an open honest line of communication with me.

As a matter of fact, I outright tell them that if they want to term or feel as though something isn't working the FIRST step is to come to me.

I can't address something that I am not aware of.

I also have a form for families leaving that asks them their reasons. They aren't required to answer but it sure helps. I like to know that I am atleast trying to meet the needs of clients before calling it quits.

Are you thinking of reaching out to this mom and talking with her or are you pretty sure you know why she left?

Dropping her notice in the box without saying anything was kind of cowardly.....and weird. :confused:

[craftymissbeth]

It was super weird. She was supposed to come by today and drop off payment for next week anyway, but I saw her out of the playroom window trying to put her envelope in our old mail slot... it's a slot on the side of the house that just drops the mail to the inside.. except it's been sealed up (that's what I was referring to as my drop box.. it's not functional).

So I knew she wasn't going to be able to stick it in there and I didn't want her to so I went out there. When I got to the door she was trying to stick it in the storm door :confused:

So I opened the door and said thank you we'll see you Thursday! She said ok! and turned and ran off real quick. In hindsight, she ran off because of the term letter, obviously.


I would love to ask her why she's terming, but now I'm afraid to ask. What if she just doesn't like ME? What if my house isn't pristine enough for them? I'm afraid of what the answer is, but at the same time it'd be nice to know, ya know?

She told me this week that she was having a difficult time leaving him because he cries so much. I told her on Wednesday that he's getting MUCH better and that with him being part time, it's going to take a little while. This is the mom who backed me up on Facebook when that former client went badmouthing me on there and now I feel like she thinks I'm horrible, too.

[Crazy8]

I have never had a parent leave without some idea of why they were leaving. I'd say 80% of my kids age out, so when others leave I usually know why - job loss, moving, etc.

In your case I'd like to think I would call the parent and ask them about it but I probably wouldn't actually do it.

[Play Care]

I don't see anything wrong with calling mom and asking. "DCM, I was surprised to see your notice. I was hoping to get some feedback from you. Is there anything specifically that you felt wasn't working out?" Depending on the answer the response could be "I'm sorry to hear that. Well I wish you the best of luck and we will miss Timmy!"

Yes it would be uncomfortable, but at least you might have a better idea.

[Leanna]

Obviously I don't really know but my guess would be that it actually has nothing to do with you or your program and that she either found someone cheaper or they were already on the wait list for another place and they got in.

[craftymissbeth]

Obviously I don't really know but my guess would be that it actually has nothing to do with you or your program and that she either found someone cheaper or they were already on the wait list for another place and they got in.

This is what I'm actually hoping. To me, if they're willing to cut ties quickly and pay the last two weeks with no question yet NOT bring dcb then it has to be pretty serious. So I'm hoping it's just that they found somewhere else.

I sent her what Play Care wrote. We'll see what she says if she responds.

[CraftyMom]

I had a weird term one time. Mom had 2 kids here, 2 yo and 7 mo.

Dcb2 was not a good fit at all, but the baby was wonderful! I wanted to term several times but didn't want to lose the baby.

Mom came one day and gave notice that dcb was staying home with dad (who was laid of) effective immediately since he cries everyday saying Mommy I don't want you to go to work! Mom hinted twice the week before that she thought it was because of something going on here, I told her no, it's because he's 2 and would prefer to be home with Mommy. And when he cried they let him stay home because dad was laid off and at home. He just knew how to push the right buttons to get his way.

So she paid dcb's remaining 2 weeks, but kept the baby here for the remaining 2 weeks. I wasn't sure how to take it, obviously things can't be that bad here if she continued to bring the baby, but stopped bringing dcb altogether.

I guess since dad was home and dcb didn't want to come it probably wasn't an issue for them, but I took offense at first.

The best part was at the end of the baby's 2 weeks I asked how dcb was enjoying being home and she says "he liked it at first, now he cries everyday saying Mommy don't go to work! I don't want daddy. I want you!"

I guess I wasn't so bad afterall, he just wanted Mommy! I hope she realizes she lost a good provider by being played by her 2yo!

[SilverSabre25]

I often want to know why a parent doesn't choose me in the first place...especially when an interview went well. I just want a little bit of feedback. Is it my house? The location? the price? Did I fart during the interview (haha)? Was it my interviewing finesse or lack thereof?

Interestingly I just put something on my website about this, asking for feedback after an interview so I can improve.

That doesn't actually help your situation though, sorry...so far most of the terms I've had have been practically mutual or the parents have told me straight up why they were leaving.

[Blackcat31]

This is what I'm actually hoping. To me, if they're willing to cut ties quickly and pay the last two weeks with no question yet NOT bring dcb then it has to be pretty serious. So I'm hoping it's just that they found somewhere else.

I sent her what Play Care wrote. We'll see what she says if she responds.

lovethis

Since she gave notice, you won't have to face her so if she responds to the e-mail...then you will have your answers. Even if they arent what you wanted to hear.

I am guessing it is them too and not you. Her comment about having a hard time leaving him says ALOT. They probably found a family member who is willing to step in.

[coolconfidentme]

I'm sit laughing she got caught trying to do a covert termination! Her heart must have stopped when she saw you. You got to admit, it's pretty funny. ::

[taylorw1210]

I hope you get a response so you can have some closure. :hug:

[AmyKidsCo]

I'm sit laughing she got caught trying to do a covert termination! Her heart must have stopped when she saw you. You got to admit, it's pretty funny. ::

That is funny! I'm sorry she didn't give you a good reason - I also hope you get some closure. Keep in mind that no matter how close we get to a family or how long they're with us, when push comes to shove they're going to do what's best for them, not us, not always their child, but themselves.

I once had a family term out of the blue, in a similar manner except I didn't catch her, and she left a boatload of complaints with my licensor the following week. I did email her to ask why she termed and she said there were some issues that she wasn't comfortable with and she doesn't like confrontations so she didn't bring them up to me. Most of the issues were misunderstandings that could've been cleared up if she'd asked, but whatever...

[TwinKristi]

Please update us when she replies! I'm interested as well!

I have had a few families come and go here, one was moving on to preschool and totally understood. Another was going to preschool as well, BUT its more like a daycare center since he's only 2 and it's ALL DAY LONG. I think that stemmed from a time I sent DCB home with a sore on his mouth and required a drs note for him to return. Within a few weeks 2 other families gave their notice so mom said "well, btw, DCB will be leaving at the end of the year" so she had already put things in motion when I did that. Whatever, its my illness policy which she pushed the envelope on til the very last day he was here. He had the flu and gave it to my DS before we left for our week vacation in the snowy mountains. YAY! Ugh!! But the other people have all left to stay home with their kids or move on to preschool, no one has left due to it not being the right fit or anything.

As far as why families haven't chosen me to begin with, I'm not 100% sure with the ones who never even got back to me, but the ones who do usually find someone "closer to their home" which is understandable. I've had 2 people say that in the last week and someone else who even came for a 2nd interview with her older DS said it as well. Blah! Nothing I can do about location!

[craftymissbeth]

Update

This is the response I just received:

Sorry for the late response we were out of town and dcb has been ill. He was just diagnosed with hand foot and mouth so it would be a good idea to let the others know. We simply did not believe this to be a good fit for our hopes for a daycare. I do realize dcb was starting to adjust however we just did not believe this to be a good fit for our hopes for a daycare. I do realize dcb was starting to adjust however we just did not feel it to be a good fit for a few reasons. Although not a deal breaker the amber necklace is important to dcb as we noticed a difference without it and it looses effectiveness by taking it on and off. Another issue was being told when he had a difficult time napping that "I will not rub his back forever". I wasn't sure if I should be upset or not so I asked for feedback from other providers and parents, all whom felt this was unreasonable on your part. It felt as if their was a lack of care. My intention in saying this is not to hurt your feelings in anyway but their is a mildew/mold smell in the house and dcb would come home smelling like it and we could not remove it until he bathed that night. A smell is one thing and wouldn't bother me had it not been the particular smell. We were able to find a better fit for what we wanted out of a which included more child interaction and learning. We came to realize these were important to us if we were going to have care outside of our home. Another deciding factor was that the new provider has the means to save a spot for the new baby which I realize not everyone can do and I would not expect anyone to do but it is a huge relief for us with as much trouble we have had finding care for dcb.

I'm definitely hurt that they never addressed any of these issues with me. I do want to say that the way my house smells is NOT because of mold/mildew, but because it's a 94 year old house. It's had this distinct "old" smell since my parents bought it 20 years ago... and it's been inspected several times since then (the most recent was 2 years ago because I wanted to make sure the home was in good shape before I took over the payments). Also, they came for the interview and nothing was said then.

The comment I made about not rubbing his back forever is slightly out of context. I let her know that they only way he would sleep was if I rubbed/patted his back and that I would work on getting him able to sleep on his own without needing that. Both dcm and dcd made comments to me about how he never sleeps, even at night.. so obviously getting him to sleep on his own is not a priority for them.

Also, the amber necklace was non-negotiable and I told them that at the interview. They were totally ok with it. I also told them at the interview that I could not guarantee a space for their baby due towards the end of the year as I don't hold spaces.


It's just frustrating that most of their concerns (other than the back rubbing) were issues they were aware of at the interview.


Oh well, they're gone. No big deal. The fact, though, that she was previously blowing up the local Facebook groups looking for a daycare for maybe the past year or so and yet hasn't at all since I enrolled them makes me wonder if they didn't have someone lined up all along. She had told me that her previous daycare provider was having health issues so I wonder if I wasn't just back up until their other provider was well again.


Do I address her issues in my response or just so too bad so sad? She frequents the local FB groups a LOT and often makes comments on posts about the providers. I'd hate for her to spread that there's a "lack of care" here (WHICH THERE ISN'T!!) or that my home has mold.