A Poem My Daughter Wrote About Me Doing Daycare :(

[Unregistered]

I'm sorry

soccer mom, your post really hits home!

[daycaremum]

What I take away from this is the way she perceives the daycare. It is loud, the kids are bad, it is chaotic.
At dinner she hears you complain and stress about work.
She even knows that parents are picking up their children late.

These are the things you can change!! Make your daycare a calmer, happier place. Clamp down on the bad behaviour she is witnessing from the children and the parents. Show your daughter how to make your work environment organized and calm.

Coming home to a quiet, calm daycare in her home, with a mom who is happy and not stressed will make a huge difference.

We are doing snack and getting ready for outside when my children arrive home, but the daycare kids are calm and quiet and my children can come and talk with me easily. They do not see misbehaving daycare kids.

They do not hear me complain about my job or daycare parents. And if I did need to complain I would do it to my husband without my kids around.

These changes will make your life and hers better.

[WImom]

THANK YOU for posting this!! This makes me sad though. I could see my 9.5y old and 11y old daughters writing this same thing! It does end up consuming us and a lot of time at the end of the day I'm short with them because I hate to say it I'm just done with dealing with kids for the day, so when they fight with each other or do not listen I have a lot less patience then I would have otherwise.

I need to try and change some of this!

[WImom]

What I take away from this is the way she perceives the daycare. It is loud, the kids are bad, it is chaotic.
At dinner she hears you complain and stress about work.
She even knows that parents are picking up their children late.

These are the things you can change!! Make your daycare a calmer, happier place. Clamp down on the bad behaviour she is witnessing from the children and the parents. Show your daughter how to make your work environment organized and calm.

Coming home to a quiet, calm daycare in her home, with a mom who is happy and not stressed will make a huge difference.

We are doing snack and getting ready for outside when my children arrive home, but the daycare kids are calm and quiet and my children can come and talk with me easily. They do not see misbehaving daycare kids.

They do not hear me complain about my job or daycare parents. And if I did need to complain I would do it to my husband without my kids around.

These changes will make your life and hers better.

I will be trying this!!

[rosieteddy]

I to felt bad reading this,I have been doing childcare form my home for 30 yrs.I started when my own children were young.It was hard to not be the parent at school helping out .going on field trips ect.Even now though my two grandsons were in daycare here with me I miss their school things.I loved watching them grow up to be school age we do have a special bond. What I would say to my daughter if she wrote this poem is "life is not fair",Most parents have to work and isn't she lucky that when she is sick she gets to stay home in her own bed.Her Mom is there if she needs her,Are there other kids needing attention ,sure but her Mom is there.Is she able to go home after school ,yes.Does she have to go to after or before school care,no.My grandsons and all these children in my care are out of their own homes from 7:30-6:00pm every weekday.They do not get to go home and get to go to their own roomor see their parents until the end of the day.Daycare is hard ,but having a Mom work outside the home is also hard. I would sit down and talk to her about this and let her see some of the positives.. I would try to be a little less stressed if possible. You are doing what you feel is best for your family.At the end of the day you make the choice that is right for you.As I told my 4 children "this is my job and I think it is right for us . GOOD LUCK AND DO'T BE TO HARD ON YOUSELF.

[Annalee]

THANK YOU for posting this!! This makes me sad though. I could see my 9.5y old and 11y old daughters writing this same thing! It does end up consuming us and a lot of time at the end of the day I'm short with them because I hate to say it I'm just done with dealing with kids for the day, so when they fight with each other or do not listen I have a lot less patience then I would have otherwise.

I need to try and change some of this!

:hug: Family child care is a unique, difficult, emotionally/physically draining job, BUT one that works for many ladies out there. My brother, which is my best advocate, laughs at me for how excited I get when ALL ages are asleep at the same time or a child learns to use their words, etc.....On the other hand, he also tells me that when the day has been less than enjoyable, that my attitude, face, and posture are bad.....AT FIRST, that hurt my feelings but after thinking about it, he was absolutely RIGHT! He knows how much I love my job, so he was NOT out to intentionally hurt me...it was constructive criticism. My boys are 10 and 12.....we have started walking in the evenings which has turned out to be great communication time. The summers for me are where mom and I either split working half days or take a day off. I have some clients who actually mail my check.... I close at 4:30 now, get paid 52 weeks a year, but close all school holidays and thurs/fri of spring/fall breaks.....I take week off in the summer and thurs/fri the last weekend before school starts back along with dec. 24 thru Jan. !. This is in addition to my conferences, personal days, unlimited emergency/family emergency days....SO I now have time for my boys...There was a time they would hear my complain/worry on how I would take them to the dr/dentist/pick them up at school/go to their school events.... I am NOT saying a provider can make all these changes at once, BUT I am saying reward your family with some extra time......It took me a while to get past worrying about keeping my business taking so much time off, but it works for some odd reason...I have learned if clients want what you have to offer, they will work around your policies....Good luck to you! :hug:

[nannyde]

I think the poem really points to how you MUST be in control of your business and run a very tight ship especially with parental behavior and kids behavior. The things that stress our kids are the things the child said... crying, fighting, parents being late etc. If you strive to eliminate the high stressors it will affect your kids happiness in the work/home environment.

Also, I think the more you integrate your child's home life into your work the higher chance you have of having a stressed kid. I made a solid decision when my son was born to keep his home life separate from the daycare. He's 14 and I've never waivered.

The missing work hours school events is a tough one. It would be nice to attend that stuff. I would have loved it and so would my kid. Every job has it's downside. This is definitely one of them.

Now that my son is a teenager I have enjoyed having him to talk to about the work. I think he learns a lot from watching me problem solve. He has learned a lot about how adults behave. He really enjoys when I predict what will happen the next day or what a kid will do next and it happens. He thinks I'm psychic. He is learning that experience will train you to accurately predict the future. It's an amazing life lesson.

He doesn't like all things daycare. Oh well... he's got it so good... I don't feel a smidge guilty for his childhood.

[mrsnj]

:hug:

about all I could say.

I look at it this way... the grass is not always greener on the other side. Teens will find something to complain about. Not saying her feelings are invalid. Saying if you worked outside, she could complain about your hours and not being there. If you were a stay at home mom, she might complain that you were always there and suffocating with no break away. There is always a greener pasture. So in the end, your job allows you to pay for nice things and be home at the same time. Sometimes there has to be a middle.

I have a 16yr old. She not only wishes the kids would go away but so would I. LOL! She wants to come home like her friends and have a break with no one here. To a quiet house. But as she gets older I would like to think the times I sat with her to watch a movie when she was home sick, helped with homework, made home baked cookies, was able to chat with her when she needed it, those times I was able to go on trips or come to school activities...those might be the things she will remember. And not so much the littles, diapers and crying.

I do know it is made her compassionate, giving and and patient. She loves children and I see her maybe one day working with them as a teacher herself. I think she draws something from it even if she doesn't see it herself right now.

[daycare]

:hug:

about all I could say.

I look at it this way... the grass is not always greener on the other side. Teens will find something to complain about. Not saying her feelings are invalid. Saying if you worked outside, she could complain about your hours and not being there. If you were a stay at home mom, she might complain that you were always there and suffocating with no break away. There is always a greener pasture. So in the end, your job allows you to pay for nice things and be home at the same time. Sometimes there has to be a middle.

I have a 16yr old. She not only wishes the kids would go away but so would I. LOL! She wants to come home like her friends and have a break with no one here. To a quiet house. But as she gets older I would like to think the times I sat with her to watch a movie when she was home sick, helped with homework, made home baked cookies, was able to chat with her when she needed it, those times I was able to go on trips or come to school activities...those might be the things she will remember. And not so much the littles, diapers and crying.

I do know it is made her compassionate, giving and and patient. She loves children and I see her maybe one day working with them as a teacher herself. I think she draws something from it even if she doesn't see it herself right now.

So very true.....

Years ago when my son was about 12 he wrote a paper about me and my daycare. It was the exact opposite about what most kids have to say about it.

But my son has different life experiences and he was more than over the top greatful I did daycare.

He just graduated HS and gave a speech at his awards ceremony. I don't have copy of it, but he said that he learned from me that hard work pays off. That the rewards he sees make me a better person and better mom. He loved getting to know that children are just like him and me, only smaller. He knows that no matter where you come from, what you look like, how old you are, your education, you are important, because that is what he learned at my daycare.

Gee I want to ask him now if he has that speech and if he will share it with you guys. I am sure I am not doing it any justice.

Your daughters poem was beautiful. I do agree that each person will see it differently and will absorb different things from it.

[KiddieCahoots]

Your daughter has a talent for putting her feelings and observations on paper. Even though it jogs some strong emotions, that's what makes what she's written so good!

My kids can sometimes relate, depends on the day.

I remember my now 28yr daughter giving me a letter when she was in jr high, and said, "all you ever care about is the day care!" But......fast forward to the present, where she is now trying to buy a house in the same neighborhood, planning for her own children to attend the child care. Because now she says, "there isn't a child care around that compares to the quality and love here!" Lol!

I guess my take on this is, if our children saw us everyday at work, regardless of where the stressors came from, or what could distract us from caring for them, would give them cause to be able to relate somehow.

I feel it comes down to what makes US happy. Like the saying goes, "If your happy, your children will be too", and so will our husbands for that matter. Lol! Like Nannyde mentioned, we must be in control of our business....if we can create the child care to accommodate us more, with our own happiness, then of course it will ultimately be accommodating our children's happiness, seeing that's top most on our priority list, kwim?

[My3cents]

I think feelings are validated but the grass is not always greener on the other side- I see room for improvements on both ends of this to make it work better-
In a perfect world Moms wouldn't have to work~

This didn't send me to tears as it did many of you, I just look at it as room for understanding on the child's part and room to make it work better on the Provider Moms part.

I guess I just don't want to teach my child perfect but more of this is how we can work things out to be better for both of us- An understanding of others.

Thanks for sharing~

[Crazy8]

and now I'm crying too. I am sure my kids feel the same way and I HATE it, but I would have to work outside the home if I didn't do daycare too. 3-5pm is just my craziest time and of course its when my kids come home.
Just yesterday I was crying because my daughter told someone I have no patience. I was upset, I feel like I "use up" all my patience on dck's and have none left over for my own some days.