Sex Offender Issue

[TickleMonster]

I faced this issue a couple of years ago. I bought new construction (800 new houses, upper middle class neighborhood and the sex offender moved in RIGHT NEXT DOOR, maybe 20 feet away. It was not a 'Romeo & Juliet' situation as the victim was 8, and he was listed as a sexual predator in big red letters. I operated my daycare WITH a license WITH him living there for about 6 years. I told my licensor, nothing. Most of my original clients were my neighbors and then word of mouth. I ALWAYS told them, and surprisingly enough didn't knowingly lose any clients to it (probably deterred a few looking). He was married with kids.

He was super creepy. It was awkward because the whole neighborhood knew, and he wanted to fit in like any other family. A few of the neighbors came out and said "we know, and we don't want to socialize with you -- stay away". This made him super defensive and made everything worse. He started going to the bus stop to get his daughter and striking up inappropriate conversations with the neighbors to get a rise out them. Blowing kisses to parents of the other kids when they wouldn't look him in the eye. Tried to start fights, sit in his chair at the bottom of the driveway drunk, asking for fights (wanted it on his property so he wouldn't get in trouble). Police were called many times.

I called my local police dept. when it first realized he was here and I had a daycare... they said he was grandfathered in and didn't have to move. I called the State Police to ask about the rules for the bus stop. I told her I was a licensed day care, and he was free to walk by my house and greet elementary children off the bus, with all the creepy stuff he made me nervous. She said - Whoa, you're licensed?

Next day, a police officer came to my door and told me they were kicking him out of his house in 10 days. He had a bad record with the local police and was a known sociopath, and he offered me all the information to get a restraining order. I never lost any kids throughout this ordeal. It was so nutty. He even tried to get me to write a letter to the state telling them he was a good neighbor, when I refused he switched gears and told me he went through all the sex offender therapy classes and knows how the sex offenders get away with things... and lastly to "watch my daughter". He moved into a local motel, but could come visit any time he pleased. He soon after got divorced and sold the house. Now a cop moved in and they're a much nicer family.

Basically, I was up front and told them how I was going to protect their children and they all believed in my abilities to keep them safe. It is better to know he's there and what you can do to protect against them. It's nice to play in the yard again.

Still have nightmares...

How awful!! Ugh some people are just really rotten to the core. Glad he is gone and you can get on with your life. Yeah, I would have nightmares too. Actually had one last night about the creep across the street and he hasn't even done anything. (shudders)

[TickleMonster]

That's how it is here, too. We can't "harass" them or bother them at all. I'm sorry that there isn't anything you can do other than staying alert.

Its ok. I understand that it is not ok for the public to harass them for their crimes. Still makes me uneasy but it is, what it is. Thanks!

[CraftyMom]

Thankyou everyone for the support and the suggestions! I knew everyone on here would understand and be helpful. I like that everyone can share their point of view and not be judged. I have made some calls and learned the laws here. Sadly and with much regret, even if I were to get licensed, since he registered first, he would be grandfathered in and not have to move. Also, it is not legal for me to share information with others about sex offenders in any way. Our community cannot post fliers, hold meetings, or pass around the information. If a person wants info on sex offenders locations, they must use a sex offender website or call the local sheriffs office. So it leaves us to just keep a very watchful eye on our neighborhood and as always, continue giving the best care possible to all these sweet little ones. Also, I wanted to comment on the abduction posts. Even though abduction and molestation is not common coming from strangers and the statics says that car accidents and whatnot are more likely to take a childs life, we should ALL stay vigilant and well informed. It doesn't matter if abduction by a stranger is a likely possibility or not. Parents and providers alike must remain alert for ANY dangers and I'm sure we all do that. I know my city has been on a much higher alert for predators since recently a 10 year old girl was abducted and killed not far from our neighborhood by a total stranger. Just stay alert and keep all your precious babies safe! Thanks again everyone.

So even if you felt you wanted to tell parents you couldn't? Hmmm maybe you could send a notice with the link to the sex offender registry with a simple "Hi dcf's, here is the website for the SOR. I thought it would be a useful tool for parents to have, please pay attention to addresses" If you still felt you needed to inform them.

[playground1]

So even if you felt you wanted to tell parents you couldn't? Hmmm maybe you could send a notice with the link to the sex offender registry with a simple "Hi dcf's, here is the website for the SOR. I thought it would be a useful tool for parents to have, please pay attention to addresses" If you still felt you needed to inform them.

I think that is a very, very bad idea.

[NightOwl]

Bad idea or not, when it comes to my children, I'll break any law necessary if it keeps them out of the hands of someone who molested children. My talons come out in a quick hurry when it comes to the innocent being victimized.

[Mom o Col]

For what it's worth, you could have 3 more in your neighborhood that ARE NOT registered, that you DON'T KNOW about! Those are the dangerous ones.

This is true! I read it and it was an eye opener.

[playground1]

Bad idea or not, when it comes to my children, I'll break any law necessary if it keeps them out of the hands of someone who molested children. My talons come out in a quick hurry when it comes to the innocent being victimized.

But why take that route when's it's easy enough just to stay away from the guy?

[Naptime yet?]

Sorry is lengthy

From the MD Attorney General's Office:


D. USING THE REGISTRY TO ASSIST IN THE SUPERVISION OF CONVICTED OFFENDERS, AND WHAT NOT TO DO - THE DANGERS OF HARASSMENT AND OSTRACISM

Except for the most dangerous offenders, the vast majority of convicted sex offenders eventually leave prison and return to live in our communities. Given that inescapable fact, it is in the best interest of community safety that they become successful, integrated members of their communities. Those offenders who are able to find and maintain adequate housing, become gainfully employed, and establish connections to others in the community are far less likely to reoffend, and everyone is safer as a result.

Thus, while everyone should take care to protect themselves and their children from vulnerable situations involving known offenders, no one should try to harass, ostracize, shame or brand them. Harassment is against the law, and these kinds of activities also decrease the likelihood that an offender will become an integrated and productive member of the community.

At the same time, as members of your community, you can help make sure an offender does not engage in activities that could lead to his reoffending. People who live and work around an offender are in a better position to know if he is exhibiting troubling behavior than are law enforcement and parole agents who can only check in with offenders periodically. Thus, if you see a child sex offender engaging in any behavior which concerns you, like loitering around playgrounds or befriending neighborhood teens, you should report the activity to the local law enforcement authority listed on the registry. Community supervision is an important component of successful sex offender management.

[SillyGrl]

That would make me very uncomfortable. FWIW, I worked in corrections and I can tell you that while I'm thankful for the SOR, some people end up on that list for ridiculous reasons. Not all, and obviously not the guy living across the street from you, but some.

Texas DFPS sent me a list of registered offenders in my area when I applied.

Maybe it's time to do some kind of "stranger danger" activity or something?

[playground1]

From the MD Attorney General's Office:


D. USING THE REGISTRY TO ASSIST IN THE SUPERVISION OF CONVICTED OFFENDERS, AND WHAT NOT TO DO - THE DANGERS OF HARASSMENT AND OSTRACISM

Except for the most dangerous offenders, the vast majority of convicted sex offenders eventually leave prison and return to live in our communities. Given that inescapable fact, it is in the best interest of community safety that they become successful, integrated members of their communities. Those offenders who are able to find and maintain adequate housing, become gainfully employed, and establish connections to others in the community are far less likely to reoffend, and everyone is safer as a result.

Thus, while everyone should take care to protect themselves and their children from vulnerable situations involving known offenders, no one should try to harass, ostracize, shame or brand them. Harassment is against the law, and these kinds of activities also decrease the likelihood that an offender will become an integrated and productive member of the community.

At the same time, as members of your community, you can help make sure an offender does not engage in activities that could lead to his reoffending. People who live and work around an offender are in a better position to know if he is exhibiting troubling behavior than are law enforcement and parole agents who can only check in with offenders periodically. Thus, if you see a child sex offender engaging in any behavior which concerns you, like loitering around playgrounds or befriending neighborhood teens, you should report the activity to the local law enforcement authority listed on the registry. Community supervision is an important component of successful sex offender management.

happyface

[KidGrind]

And I'll point out that I'm hyper sensitive to the subject because, I just am. You can assume why.

I will share as a parent I would remove my kids from your care. Not because of your honesty but I would think, “If she is keeping an eye on my kids, why would she tell me this?”

As a parent, I did not & do not like unnecessary drama. Now if your elderly father (strictly example) needed to move in with you and he was a registered sex offender or their were some allegations I WOULD EXPECT for you to inform me.

[NightOwl]

I will share as a parent I would remove my kids from your care. Not because of your honesty but I would think, “If she is keeping an eye on my kids, why would she tell me this?”

As a parent, I did not & do not like unnecessary drama. Now if your elderly father (strictly example) needed to move in with you and he was a registered sex offender or their were some allegations I WOULD EXPECT for you to inform me.

Well I will share that I think that's ridiculous. You would remove them because I am so concerned for everyone's safety that I wanted to inform my parents? I can't see the logic in that. No offense intended, you have a right to your opinion and to put your children wherever you want. I just can't understand you removing them because you would assume I wasn't properly caring for them because I told you of a danger in the neighborhood?

[KidGrind]

Well I will share that I think that's ridiculous. You would remove them because I am so concerned for everyone's safety that I wanted to inform my parents? I can't see the logic in that. No offense intended, you have a right to your opinion and to put your children wherever you want. I just can't understand you removing them because you would assume I wasn't properly caring for them because I told you of a danger in the neighborhood?

I am not offended in the least. You have a right to your opinion.

I do NOT like unnecessary drama from anyone who takes care of my children. It’s a red flag for me. If a provider is taking great care of my children, then I do not need to know about a registered sex offender in her neighborhood. Now if my provider is eating chips & watching Maury while my kids are playing outside, then I NEED TO KNOW.

I would remove my kids from your care because I would interpret your Sex Offender Notice Across The Street as dramatic. That’s me and my choice. You can handle your business as you wish. I gave my take on the subject. If it’s a relative moving into your home or visiting, tell me. A neighbor, I am not interested.

[NightOwl]

But the drama is not caused by me, it's caused by the neighbor. Still don't get it. I am not a drama queen by any means, but it seems you think only a drama queen would tell parents?

[Annalee]

I am not offended in the least. You have a right to your opinion.

I do NOT like unnecessary drama from anyone who takes care of my children. It’s a red flag for me. If a provider is taking great care of my children, then I do not need to know about a registered sex offender in her neighborhood. Now if my provider is eating chips & watching Maury while my kids are playing outside, then I NEED TO KNOW.

I would remove my kids from your care because I would interpret your Sex Offender Notice Across The Street as dramatic. That’s me and my choice. You can handle your business as you wish. I gave my take on the subject. If it’s a relative moving into your home or visiting, tell me. A neighbor, I am not interested.

I understand what you are saying. I am old and have bn in daycare a long time so I have lots of stories..:: Anyway, years ago, my cousin was diagnosed with hepetitus C. This was long before persons were educated on this disease. Well, I felt the need to tell my parents that he would NOT be in my home daycare during hours (this was before my new room). Well, to my amazement, every parent which I met with separately stopped me before I could get started telling me they knew I took care of their kids and kept them safe or they would not leave them with me. They also told me their families had issue too, therefore letting me know there was NO judgement taking place. So, NOW, I handle things differently. I feel my family is open with the families enrolled but they trust me and DO NOT need any EXTRA INFO. Just sharing in this discussion!