Sex Offender Issue

[CraftyMom]

He was there for 6 years before they made him move?! Why couldn't that be done from the start?

[NightOwl]

Even though I am way out voted here, I maintain my position for ^^^^^^ this reason. If they are unstable enough to victimize a small child, why would you want to passively "keep an eye on him"? Not for me. I would be beating down doors to get rid of this guy.

[childcaremom]

I understand that there are offenders out there we don't know about... but this is one we do know! And he is a reoffender so (imho) makes it more important to be aware and be in the know. I would absolutely tell the parents.

If I put myself in the shoes of the parents, I would want to know. I would want to know how the provider plans to keep the children safe. Even though I know and understand she will do that, I would want her to reassure me that this man would never have access to my child. Where do the kids play? Front? Back? I would be very uncomfortable with my kids playing in plain view of this man. I would want to know what this man looks like and what offenses he committed.

As a provider, I would be looking into getting licensed. I would be looking at what I could do to tweak my yard and/or house so that this man would not have any view of the children playing. I would have a picture of him ready to show the parents and then I would present my plan.

What if he approached one of the parents during pick up/drop off? I am assuming that this could be enough to get his parole revoked and/or put back in jail? Could you imagine the parents didn't know and this man was approaching them and their child? Yikes! I feel sick thinking about it.

There was a sex offender released back into our area and my kids school sent home a notice, not to scare the parents into not sending children to school, but so that everyone was aware and would take extra precautions. I think if OP handled it this way (awareness/precautions) she would reassure her daycare parents.

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

I'm going to be the odd one out also.....

I wouldn't notify parents... And I wouldn't license just because of the offender.

I would keep doing what I'm doing. I'm not as bothered by he registered ones as I am the ones who are under the radar.

Why notify parents and start an all out war and then you can guarantee you'll never have another client. Your parents trust you to keep their kids safe. Now tat you know of the offender you simply do what you have been doing. You keep the kids safe by doing what you would do before you knew about the offender.

I understand why yu are concerned. But the fact of the matter is.... The fact is that knowing the information doesn't change he quality of care YOU provide. It just arms you with valuable information.

I would not notify either. Honestly, pedophiles usually molest children they are in contact with, they are not abducting kids off the street. So, if you are always with your kids, they are not having conversations with him as a "friend", I would be vigil but not concerned.

[NightOwl]

They are absolutely abducting kids off the street! It happens every day and always happens to people who think it never could!

[Blackcat31]

Some statistical facts from the Bureau of Justice Statistics...

There is no research to support that adult sex offenders’ proximity to schools or parks leads to recidivism. (a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior; especially: relapse into criminal behavior)

Researchers from the Minnesota Department of Corrections found that not one of 224 recidivistic adult sex offenses would have been prevented by a residential restriction law.

In Florida, researchers found that the distance adult sex offenders lived from schools and daycares was not associated with recidivism; recidivists did not live closer to schools and daycares than nonrecidivists (Zandbergen, Hart, & Levenson, 2010).

The bottom line is that adult sex offenders do not molest children because they live near schools and facilities relating to the care and supervision of children.

Typically they abuse when they are able to establish relationships with children and their families and misuse positions of familiarity, trust, and authority.

According to the Justice Department, 93% of sexually abused children are molested by family members, close friends or acquaintances. Children are most likely to be assaulted by people they know, not strangers lurking in schoolyards.

Thus, residence restrictions do little to prevent the most common situations in which children are likely to be harmed.

Approximately 60% of boys and 80% of girls who are sexually victimized are abused by someone known to the child or the child's family (Lieb, Quinsey, and Berliner, 1998).

Relatives, friends, baby-sitters, persons in positions of authority over the child, or persons who supervise children are more likely than strangers to commit a sexual assault.

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

Some statistical facts from the Bureau of Justice Statistics...

There is no research to support that adult sex offenders’ proximity to schools or parks leads to recidivism. (a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior; especially: relapse into criminal behavior)

Researchers from the Minnesota Department of Corrections found that not one of 224 recidivistic adult sex offenses would have been prevented by a residential restriction law.

In Florida, researchers found that the distance adult sex offenders lived from schools and daycares was not associated with recidivism; recidivists did not live closer to schools and daycares than nonrecidivists (Zandbergen, Hart, & Levenson, 2010).

The bottom line is that adult sex offenders do not molest children because they live near schools and facilities relating to the care and supervision of children.

Typically they abuse when they are able to establish relationships with children and their families and misuse positions of familiarity, trust, and authority.

According to the Justice Department, 93% of sexually abused children are molested by family members, close friends or acquaintances. Children are most likely to be assaulted by people they know, not strangers lurking in schoolyards.

Thus, residence restrictions do little to prevent the most common situations in which children are likely to be harmed.

Approximately 60% of boys and 80% of girls who are sexually victimized are abused by someone known to the child or the child's family (Lieb, Quinsey, and Berliner, 1998).

Relatives, friends, baby-sitters, persons in positions of authority over the child, or persons who supervise children are more likely than strangers to commit a sexual assault.

Thanks BC for the stats

[Sugar Magnolia]

I think the OP mentioned not being licensed because some states have laws that a registered sex offender can't live within so many feet of a school or daycare.

OP-I also am in the "wouldn't say anything" camp for all the reasons PP's have mentioned. I would think about this before you make any decisions.

This!

[playground1]

They are absolutely abducting kids off the street! It happens every day and always happens to people who think it never could!

Statistically, a child is more likely to have a heart attack then to be abducted by a stranger. They are certainly more likely to be in a car accident. We need to be aware and cautious and not overreact.

[Unregistered]

Not refuting the statistics, but here is part of my story. Beginning when I was a teen I was approached, mauled, grabbed & kidnapped in multiple incidents by unrelated strangers. I was small for my age and was timid and polite, and I now think those are the traits that made me a good victim.
Now I love me some powerful, bossy, (sometimes sassy), loud (sometimes obnoxious) girls because I figure they haven't been trained to be so obedient that they look like victims.
As for me, now I am (slightly) larger, bossier, more powerful and not nearly as afraid to take control of a situation I will NEVER be that girl again.

[KDC]

I lived next to the offender and did a daycare for 6 years. I kept an eye and felt I could and would keep the kids safe. He was a hermit for most of those years and stayed in his house (so much so his little petite wife did ALL snow removal, and lawn maintenance just to avoid neighbors)... then he kind of exploded and was in our face in a really scary way.

I was conflicted because on one hand I felt bad he had this scarlet letter painted on him and the way it effected his family. The kids were innocent as was the wife. But we wanted to distance ourselves because the victim was a friend of the Mom's son (his step-son age 8 at time of crime). They weren't close - there wasn't a bond there, just an opportunity. I didn't want my children to feel safe around him, like he was just a Dad of their friends so he could be trusted. This tugged at my heart strings for his children, as they didn't know why my kids didn't want to play with them.

Once he started flipping out and getting aggressive, it was scary. He came out of his house to call me a stupid B*tch after he was kicked out while I was playing duck duck goose with the daycare kids - like screaming mad obscenities. That is NOT acceptable, and police were called. I'm just glad it's behind us, but it always bugs me that he made that choice 10 years ago...and it will follow him for the rest of his life, and not just his but his kids life too.

[TickleMonster]

Thankyou everyone for the support and the suggestions! I knew everyone on here would understand and be helpful. I like that everyone can share their point of view and not be judged. I have made some calls and learned the laws here. Sadly and with much regret, even if I were to get licensed, since he registered first, he would be grandfathered in and not have to move. Also, it is not legal for me to share information with others about sex offenders in any way. Our community cannot post fliers, hold meetings, or pass around the information. If a person wants info on sex offenders locations, they must use a sex offender website or call the local sheriffs office. So it leaves us to just keep a very watchful eye on our neighborhood and as always, continue giving the best care possible to all these sweet little ones. Also, I wanted to comment on the abduction posts. Even though abduction and molestation is not common coming from strangers and the statics says that car accidents and whatnot are more likely to take a childs life, we should ALL stay vigilant and well informed. It doesn't matter if abduction by a stranger is a likely possibility or not. Parents and providers alike must remain alert for ANY dangers and I'm sure we all do that. I know my city has been on a much higher alert for predators since recently a 10 year old girl was abducted and killed not far from our neighborhood by a total stranger. Just stay alert and keep all your precious babies safe! Thanks again everyone.

[TickleMonster]

Not refuting the statistics, but here is part of my story. Beginning when I was a teen I was approached, mauled, grabbed & kidnapped in multiple incidents by unrelated strangers. I was small for my age and was timid and polite, and I now think those are the traits that made me a good victim.
Now I love me some powerful, bossy, (sometimes sassy), loud (sometimes obnoxious) girls because I figure they haven't been trained to be so obedient that they look like victims.
As for me, now I am (slightly) larger, bossier, more powerful and not nearly as afraid to take control of a situation I will NEVER be that girl again.

So sorry to hear that this happened and glad to know you are in control and taking charge of your life!happyface Thankyou for sharing with us as I know things like this are difficult to talk about.

[TickleMonster]

I lived next to the offender and did a daycare for 6 years. I kept an eye and felt I could and would keep the kids safe. He was a hermit for most of those years and stayed in his house (so much so his little petite wife did ALL snow removal, and lawn maintenance just to avoid neighbors)... then he kind of exploded and was in our face in a really scary way.

I was conflicted because on one hand I felt bad he had this scarlet letter painted on him and the way it effected his family. The kids were innocent as was the wife. But we wanted to distance ourselves because the victim was a friend of the Mom's son (his step-son age 8 at time of crime). They weren't close - there wasn't a bond there, just an opportunity. I didn't want my children to feel safe around him, like he was just a Dad of their friends so he could be trusted. This tugged at my heart strings for his children, as they didn't know why my kids didn't want to play with them.

Once he started flipping out and getting aggressive, it was scary. He came out of his house to call me a stupid B*tch after he was kicked out while I was playing duck duck goose with the daycare kids - like screaming mad obscenities. That is NOT acceptable, and police were called. I'm just glad it's behind us, but it always bugs me that he made that choice 10 years ago...and it will follow him for the rest of his life, and not just his but his kids life too.

That's just ridiculous. What a nightmare. I'm so glad that is over for you. Thankyou for sharing your story with us.

[craftymissbeth]

Thankyou everyone for the support and the suggestions! I knew everyone on here would understand and be helpful. I like that everyone can share their point of view and not be judged. I have made some calls and learned the laws here. Sadly and with much regret, even if I were to get licensed, since he registered first, he would be grandfathered in and not have to move. Also, it is not legal for me to share information with others about sex offenders in any way. Our community cannot post fliers, hold meetings, or pass around the information. If a person wants info on sex offenders locations, they must use a sex offender website or call the local sheriffs office. So it leaves us to just keep a very watchful eye on our neighborhood and as always, continue giving the best care possible to all these sweet little ones. Also, I wanted to comment on the abduction posts. Even though abduction and molestation is not common coming from strangers and the statics says that car accidents and whatnot are more likely to take a childs life, we should ALL stay vigilant and well informed. It doesn't matter if abduction by a stranger is a likely possibility or not. Parents and providers alike must remain alert for ANY dangers and I'm sure we all do that. I know my city has been on a much higher alert for predators since recently a 10 year old girl was abducted and killed not far from our neighborhood by a total stranger. Just stay alert and keep all your precious babies safe! Thanks again everyone.

That's how it is here, too. We can't "harass" them or bother them at all. I'm sorry that there isn't anything you can do other than staying alert.