Childhood is Changing and I Don't Like It

[Laurel]

I have done home childcare for 20 years and my last day is tomorrow. So I still have one part time child to the end who comes on M,W, F and my grandson. Since dc boy isn't here today I took my grandson to the park and out to eat. BUT, I will be watching my 8 and 14 year old grandchildren for the summer so I checked with our city programs for some summer activities...especially for the 14 year old.

Nada, nothing except swimming and library which I'll look into but it was depressing. All they have is full time summer camp (read daycare). They have some short term classes like art, cheerleading, martial arts, dance, sports, etc. but they are all in the evening or on Saturday.

It made me a little depressed thinking how kids are now raised in institutions. They go to school all year and then to go 'camp' in the summer. Not the cool day camps and actual 'camping' camps like back in the day but daycare. The one my grandson went to when he was younger is one where they took the older ones out for a field trip every single day. Water park, skating rink, movie, etc. but no real down time as far as I could tell. I know the older ones need lots of things to keep them busy but where did art and board games, and bike riding go...the way of the dinosaur?

I told the lady I talked to that I was retiring from a home daycare and she said nowadays it is all camp and they fill up early. At least theirs only has 2 field trips a week. They do have regular stuff which I liked but I don't really want full time. She said people who wanted a more homelike environment come to home daycares like mine.

Well if anyone needs a niche, there is one. If you can't find littles, do a daycare experience for SAer's in the summer.

She said I might try a Boy's Club or the YMCA in nearby city.

Just feeling down that our kids are being raised in institutions. I can keep my granddaughter plenty busy. She likes cooking and arts and crafts. My grandson is a challenge though.

Oh well just a vent I guess. I suppose we'll be at the pool and the library a lot. She even said the parks are filled with 100's of kids from the camps.

It also made me realize how truly needed our home daycares are. It made me feel good that providers like us provide a great home away from home for children. The way it is meant to be, imo. Thank goodness we do what we do.

Laurel

[nothingwithoutjoy]

I agree. Here, kids are scheduled for one camp after another, all summer long. And it's such a cultural norm now, parents who aren't inclined to do it feel guilty that they're depriving their kids of something. I spent my summers roaming the nearby woods, walking to town and the pool, playing on the abandoned school playground, devising games and projects with my sisters and neighborhood. That's what I try to give my kids now...as much freedom as possible. ('course they have to have me monitoring their every move in the woods, unlike when I was a kid, but at least I've got them out there.)

[craftymissbeth]

Our school district started a half day "summer academy" for K-12 last summer. They go 8-12 and are fed breakfast and lunch for the month of June. Then, if you've signed your kids up for other things, they'll bus them all around town for free to the different activities. Swimming lessons, YMCA daycare, the community college's kids camp, and the library's summer activities.

Ds went last summer just for the summer academy at the school, but he hated it. The only thing he liked was meeting a middle school special needs boy (ds was just out of kindy) who was super sweet and sat with ds on the bus. He even gave ds huge hugs the second he saw him in the mornings and then right after they got done for the day. It was really nice.

But this year, I decided that it wasn't necessary. I like that he would be able to spend time with his friends every day, but it was just too much for him last year.


All of that to say that I agree that although it's nice that our communities are providing activities for older children, the activities don't need to be field trips or super exciting getaways. When I was his age, the community center just had us playing in a huge gym.

[Retired]

I agree. Here, kids are scheduled for one camp after another, all summer long. And it's such a cultural norm now, parents who aren't inclined to do it feel guilty that they're depriving their kids of something. I spent my summers roaming the nearby woods, walking to town and the pool, playing on the abandoned school playground, devising games and projects with my sisters and neighborhood. That's what I try to give my kids now...as much freedom as possible. ('course they have to have me monitoring their every move in the woods, unlike when I was a kid, but at least I've got them out there.)

Here, in NJ, it's all about money. You can offer the best care, but if the camps or city/school funded "programs" are cheaper/free the parents will go there.

[Blackcat31]

I have done home childcare for 20 years and my last day is tomorrow. So I still have one part time child to the end who comes on M,W, F and my grandson. Since dc boy isn't here today I took my grandson to the park and out to eat. BUT, I will be watching my 8 and 14 year old grandchildren for the summer so I checked with our city programs for some summer activities...especially for the 14 year old.

Nada, nothing except swimming and library which I'll look into but it was depressing. All they have is full time summer camp (read daycare). They have some short term classes like art, cheerleading, martial arts, dance, sports, etc. but they are all in the evening or on Saturday.

It made me a little depressed thinking how kids are now raised in institutions. They go to school all year and then to go 'camp' in the summer. Not the cool day camps and actual 'camping' camps like back in the day but daycare. The one my grandson went to when he was younger is one where they took the older ones out for a field trip every single day. Water park, skating rink, movie, etc. but no real down time as far as I could tell. I know the older ones need lots of things to keep them busy but where did art and board games, and bike riding go...the way of the dinosaur?

I told the lady I talked to that I was retiring from a home daycare and she said nowadays it is all camp and they fill up early. At least theirs only has 2 field trips a week. They do have regular stuff which I liked but I don't really want full time. She said people who wanted a more homelike environment come to home daycares like mine.

Well if anyone needs a niche, there is one. If you can't find littles, do a daycare experience for SAer's in the summer.

She said I might try a Boy's Club or the YMCA in nearby city.

Just feeling down that our kids are being raised in institutions. I can keep my granddaughter plenty busy. She likes cooking and arts and crafts. My grandson is a challenge though.

Oh well just a vent I guess. I suppose we'll be at the pool and the library a lot. She even said the parks are filled with 100's of kids from the camps.

It also made me realize how truly needed our home daycares are. It made me feel good that providers like us provide a great home away from home for children. The way it is meant to be, imo. Thank goodness we do what we do.

Laurel

....I agree, but I don't think most parents do.

Most parents now days WANT education and structure.
Most parents want summer camp and organized activity groups.

It used to be when I was young, we played soccer, kickball and baseball without keeping score...just learned the fundamentals of the game.

Now you have 3 yr old and 4 yr old Little League's that take the game VERY seriously and actually have try outs for some of the teams.

There is NO fun in childhood anymore.

[Crazy8]

and I find the complete opposite as a home daycare provider…. I would love to have something for my own kids to do this summer but EVERYTHING is short little 3-5 day "camps" with hours like 9-12, 12-4, etc. Nothing I could get them to. I obviously don't want them in an "institution all day" either and there are a few full time daycare/camps but there are MANY little things they would love to do but I just can't get them to those types of activities during the week (I don't transport dc kids).

[nannyde]

I think a lot of school aged kids go to programs where they have a few field trips that really are more time loading and unloading the vehicle, driving to the place, eating a pack lunch there, and coming back. I think the time they actually are at the place they go to and are.doing the actual activity is VERY small compared to the getting there and back and the meal.

It looks like they are doing stuff but because of the way the kids act it doesn't last very long.

When my son was in the Des Moines public schools program he would come home complaining that the time at the zoo, pool, park was really short. My staff assistant started going to the pool and sure enough it was ten actual minutes in the pool. She went to the lake (45 min drive) and the kids ate lunch... played ten minutes on the equipment and then back on the bus. Same routine at the zoo.

The kids spent HOURS in the gym on their rear ends playing screens. Nintendo's were common then.

I would bet that most school aged programs that are full days are spent mostly with the kids on screens. If they have them outside they fight and want back in. If they don't make it easy for the adults the adults quit.

[debbiedoeszip]

IDK, I spent my childhood summers (1970s) at home daycares. In those days, after breakfast, the daycare provider would shoo the school-aged kids outside with instructions not to come back until lunch time. We ran around the neighbourhood like feral children, drinking from outdoor water taps, peeing in bushes, and generally doing what we wanted. After lunch was the same thing, though we'd be fetched back to the daycare home about an hour before parents started showing up.

When my DS was a kid, until he was old enough to stay home alone, I (working mom) would enroll him in day camp type childcare for the summer. At least he go to drink from a cup or fountain, LOL.

I have to say, though, that there was minimal screen time at these camps. Maybe a movie on a really miserable, rainy day, but otherwise they were active and outdoors a lot.

[sharlan]

So many kids are over-booked these days.

Here's a conversation I overheard the other day.

Father #1 - Oh, I forgot to call the little bus and tell them not to pick my dd up from school today. (The "little bus" is the afterschool Chinese program)
Father #2 - She goes every day?
F#1 - Yes, from right after school until 6.
F#2 - Who is going to watch her for the summer?
F#1 - Oh, my wife works nights so she's home until I have to leave for work. Dd will stay home with her for the summer.

Ok, Mom is home, but child is at school from 8:10 until 2:40 when she goes to the afterschool Chinese program until 6? These kids also go to Chinese school on Saturdays.

Conversation my dd had with a co-worker a month ago.

Co-worker (Korean) - I don't know what to do, my ds is doing so poorly in school. He's getting all C's and D's.
DD - What are you doing about it?
Cw - He goes to afterschool tutoring everyday until 6:00, then he has Chinese school on Saturday and Sunday for 7 1/2 hrs each day.
Dd - How do you spend time with him? Is he in any sports?
Cw - We eat dinner together. And we go places when he's off of school for Spring and Christmas. No time for sports.
Dd - Children can only control a couple of things. 1 is their eating and 2 is homework/schoolwork. Your son is overloaded with schoolwork and is trying to tell you.
Cw - You think so? Why didn't he tell me?
Dd - When was he supposed to tell you?

This 8 yo child went to school 7 hours a day, tutoring another 3 hours a day, plus Chinese school on the weekends. That's a total of 64 hours of school a week. He not only had homework from school, but from his tutoring class and his Chinese class.

After talking to my dd, the mom stopped the tutoring and Chinese classes and put the boy in the afterschool program at the school. She told my dd that was the best decision she ever made, he's whole demeanor changed. He was able to keep up with his school work and his grades started improving.

[sharlan]

I think a lot of school aged kids go to programs where they have a few field trips that really are more time loading and unloading the vehicle, driving to the place, eating a pack lunch there, and coming back. I think the time they actually are at the place they go to and are.doing the actual activity is VERY small compared to the getting there and back and the meal.

It looks like they are doing stuff but because of the way the kids act it doesn't last very long.

When my son was in the Des Moines public schools program he would come home complaining that the time at the zoo, pool, park was really short. My staff assistant started going to the pool and sure enough it was ten actual minutes in the pool. She went to the lake (45 min drive) and the kids ate lunch... played ten minutes on the equipment and then back on the bus. Same routine at the zoo.

The kids spent HOURS in the gym on their rear ends playing screens. Nintendo's were common then.

I would bet that most school aged programs that are full days are spent mostly with the kids on screens. If they have them outside they fight and want back in. If they don't make it easy for the adults the adults quit.

I know that's how the Y is here. I've ended up at the same beach as them a couple of times and felt really sorry for the kids. Most of their time is on the bus.

They show up at 11 and everyone has to sit on their towels until everyone eats their sack lunch. About 12, they get to play in the water for about 30 mins, then it's time to gather back on their towels, put their shorts and shirts, shoes and socks back on and head towards the bus. They spend far more time sitting on their towels then in the water. The bus ride takes over an hour each way.

I show up about 10 and the kids help me set up. They're in the water by 10:30. We have lunch about 12, then the kids run around the lunch area and the older kids climb the rocks or we hunt for crabs and seastars. The kids are resunscreened and back in the water by 1. They come out about 2:30, we rinse them off at the showers and load up and head home about 3 or 3:30.

[Laurel]

I agree. Here, kids are scheduled for one camp after another, all summer long. And it's such a cultural norm now, parents who aren't inclined to do it feel guilty that they're depriving their kids of something. I spent my summers roaming the nearby woods, walking to town and the pool, playing on the abandoned school playground, devising games and projects with my sisters and neighborhood. That's what I try to give my kids now...as much freedom as possible. ('course they have to have me monitoring their every move in the woods, unlike when I was a kid, but at least I've got them out there.)

That is 'exactly' how I feel! It is the cultural norm part that got me down.

Laurel

[Laurel]

Our school district started a half day "summer academy" for K-12 last summer. They go 8-12 and are fed breakfast and lunch for the month of June. Then, if you've signed your kids up for other things, they'll bus them all around town for free to the different activities. Swimming lessons, YMCA daycare, the community college's kids camp, and the library's summer activities.

Ds went last summer just for the summer academy at the school, but he hated it. The only thing he liked was meeting a middle school special needs boy (ds was just out of kindy) who was super sweet and sat with ds on the bus. He even gave ds huge hugs the second he saw him in the mornings and then right after they got done for the day. It was really nice.

But this year, I decided that it wasn't necessary. I like that he would be able to spend time with his friends every day, but it was just too much for him last year.


All of that to say that I agree that although it's nice that our communities are providing activities for older children, the activities don't need to be field trips or super exciting getaways. When I was his age, the community center just had us playing in a huge gym.

I just wish they would schedule some of those evening activities in the daytime during the summer. I think I will at least request it. Most probably they don't because all the kids are in summer 'camp.'

Laurel

[Annalee]

....I agree, but I don't think most parents do.

Most parents now days WANT education and structure.
Most parents want summer camp and organized activity groups.

It used to be when I was young, we played soccer, kickball and baseball without keeping score...just learned the fundamentals of the game.

Now you have 3 yr old and 4 yr old Little League's that take the game VERY seriously and actually have try outs for some of the teams.

There is NO fun in childhood anymore.

This is exactly what I was referring to on the bullying topic I posted on last night. Kids have to be NBA/MLB caliber before they even get a chance to sit on the bench, let alone play. Another note....when I grew up my brothers and I played all morning outside, ate potted meat sandwiches for lunch on a picnic table dad made, then sit in the little round pool cleaning up and come in to take a nap only to start again when we woke up. We still smile talking about that life, but many kids won't ever have that!

[Laurel]

....I agree, but I don't think most parents do.

Most parents now days WANT education and structure.
Most parents want summer camp and organized activity groups.

It used to be when I was young, we played soccer, kickball and baseball without keeping score...just learned the fundamentals of the game.

Now you have 3 yr old and 4 yr old Little League's that take the game VERY seriously and actually have try outs for some of the teams.

There is NO fun in childhood anymore.

That is also true! I've done some interviews where parents thought I wasn't 'academic' enough. They didn't seem to want 'learning through play'.

My 3 1/2 year old grandson that I watch now will be starting at a center on Monday. My daughter was trying to find a place that focused more on fun rather than academics. Kind of like my home child care but without the babies as he needs older kids to hang out with. The place she picked seems very good and he is starting out in their summer program which stresses academics less at least.

Laurel

[Laurel]

and I find the complete opposite as a home daycare provider…. I would love to have something for my own kids to do this summer but EVERYTHING is short little 3-5 day "camps" with hours like 9-12, 12-4, etc. Nothing I could get them to. I obviously don't want them in an "institution all day" either and there are a few full time daycare/camps but there are MANY little things they would love to do but I just can't get them to those types of activities during the week (I don't transport dc kids).

I can't either when I'm doing daycare. I just took my grandson out today because he was my only daycare child. Now that I can take them to the short things there aren't any...except in the evening. Geez, can't win.

Laurel