Well, This Is A New One (Annoyance) For Me!

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  • e.j.
    Daycare.com Member
    • Dec 2010
    • 3738

    #16
    Originally posted by crazydaycarelady
    I don't think I ever really agreed to this. Dcm never mentioned it until the first day at drop-off that she would come at lunch. No mention of dcd coming ever!

    I never really thought about open-door being pick your kids up instead of you can see your kids whenever you want! I am going to be more specific in my contract about that!

    It's just weird having another family up at my table enjoying lunch while I am working and wishing I could take a lunch break like that.
    I like the concept of a family feeling comfortable enough to "visit" but wouldn't feel comfortable at all with it in reality. I'm way too busy dealing with kids to have parents just hanging out together at my home, especially two relative strangers hanging out upstairs where I can't really see what they're doing.

    I'd have to be direct with her and say something like, "I feel uncomfortable having to say this but....You caught me off guard the other day when you said you were planning to come at lunch to breastfeed the baby. It wasn't something we discussed in the interview. I thought I'd give it a try but to be honest, it's really not working for me. Could we work together to find an alternative solution that will work for both of us?"

    Comment

    • Blackcat31
      • Oct 2010
      • 36124

      #17
      Originally posted by e.j.

      I'd have to be direct with her and say something like, "I feel uncomfortable having to say this but....You caught me off guard the other day when you said you were planning to come at lunch to breastfeed the baby. It wasn't something we discussed in the interview. I thought I'd give it a try but to be honest, it's really not working for me. Could we work together to find an alternative solution that will work for both of us?"


      Plus, you can throw in there that pretty soon the baby will be old enough that seeing mom come and go multiple times a day is going to have it's fall out...

      The child may begin experiencing extreme separation anxiety kwim?

      Comment

      • Heidi
        Daycare.com Member
        • Sep 2011
        • 7121

        #18
        I think supporting bf'ding is wonderful, so that part is just fine.

        Having dad come and hang out too is going too far.

        I might even go with "so, I have no problem with you coming to bf, but, I was surprised yesterday when I suddenly heard a man's voice. I really don't mind if dcd comes to join you once in a while, as long is it's not every day. But, could you please let me know ahead of time? I really need to know who's in my house, when, even if it's daycare parents.

        Comment

        • CraftyMom
          Daycare.com Member
          • Jan 2014
          • 2285

          #19
          OP is this everyday or just that one time? And are they actually eating a meal in your home or just feeding the baby?

          Comment

          • SignMeUp
            Family ChildCare Provider
            • Jan 2014
            • 1325

            #20
            Originally posted by Heidi
            I think supporting bf'ding is wonderful, so that part is just fine.

            Having dad come and hang out too is going too far.

            I might even go with "so, I have no problem with you coming to bf, but, I was surprised yesterday when I suddenly heard a man's voice. I really don't mind if dcd comes to join you once in a while, as long is it's not every day. But, could you please let me know ahead of time? I really need to know who's in my house, when, even if it's daycare parents.
            Yes. We don't background check our daycare parents :: so technically, don't we have to have "eyes on them" every minute they are here? That's what is enforced where I live. Not specific to parents, but to anyone in my house for any reason during child care hours.

            Comment

            • crazydaycarelady
              Not really crazy
              • Jul 2012
              • 1457

              #21
              It is not happening everyday. I've found out that it is the days that mom drops off in the am and dad needs to pick up. Apparently they are switching cars and meeting here to do it. I am not sure why they don't just get another base?

              Comment

              • nannyde
                All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
                • Mar 2010
                • 7320

                #22
                I don't allow on site breastfeeding. I do all the feedings and make sure the baby is fed before departure.

                It's not personal. I wouldn't allow on site visiting for any reason.

                It won't be long until the baby starts squirming around and wanting down on the floor to run house. It won't be long before the mom starts getting bored and wants to feed in the playroom so she can see the other kids.

                It won't be long before Dad gets bored and starts walking around the house.

                They are all going to get comfortable and bored soon.
                http://www.amazon.com/Daycare-Whispe...=doing+daycare

                Comment

                • Meeko
                  Advanced Daycare.com Member
                  • Mar 2011
                  • 4349

                  #23
                  I would actually be livid.

                  You didn't know the DCD was in the house until you heard his voice? That means he either let himself in, or DCM told him to come in.

                  The only person who has the right to say "Come on in" is YOU.

                  It is beyond rude to just sit down in someone else's home...uninvited....and act like it's OK.

                  Nannyde is right....if they are comfortable enough doing that, they are fast going to get comfortable with other rude behaviors too.

                  These people need to be told there are boundaries...because they already think there aren't any.

                  Comment

                  • Meeko
                    Advanced Daycare.com Member
                    • Mar 2011
                    • 4349

                    #24
                    Ooops...sorry...posted twice

                    Comment

                    • CraftyMom
                      Daycare.com Member
                      • Jan 2014
                      • 2285

                      #25
                      Originally posted by SignMeUp
                      Yes. We don't background check our daycare parents :: so technically, don't we have to have "eyes on them" every minute they are here? That's what is enforced where I live. Not specific to parents, but to anyone in my house for any reason during child care hours.
                      Yes, my regs say I would have to have my eyes on them at all times. That might be just while they are around the children though. Even still, I wouldn't want someone in my house, not even just the mom, while I am not around. Op is in the basement with the kids it seems. I would not like this one bit!

                      Comment

                      • daycare_jen
                        Daycare.com Member
                        • Feb 2014
                        • 50

                        #26
                        Originally posted by CraftyMom
                        Yes, my regs say I would have to have my eyes on them at all times. That might be just while they are around the children though. Even still, I wouldn't want someone in my house, not even just the mom, while I am not around. Op is in the basement with the kids it seems. I would not like this one bit!
                        yes, I wouldn't feel comfortable with people in my home like that. I had an experience with a dcm who was also a long-time friendly acquaintance... she would want to nurse at pick up, they were the last ones there, and since my home has an open floor plan and she wasn't comfortable nursing in front of others, it involved me and my family staying in the upstairs bedrooms or going outside for the duration of the nursing time... I let it happen a few times, but was uncomfortable with that and ended it. They lived 10 minutes from my house, she could get home and nurse her child there.

                        Tell dcm that you prefer to keep your home "your home" and that while you support her in breastfeeding, she will need to take her child out to do so or you can feed the baby the breastmilk she provides.

                        Comment

                        • crazydaycarelady
                          Not really crazy
                          • Jul 2012
                          • 1457

                          #27
                          Probably not the best solution but my hubby and two of my sons (20 and 22) are home today. I told them to make them as uncomfortable as possible. Haha

                          Comment

                          • daycare_jen
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Feb 2014
                            • 50

                            #28
                            Originally posted by crazydaycarelady
                            Probably not the best solution but my hubby and two of my sons (20 and 22) are home today. I told them to make them as uncomfortable as possible. Haha

                            Comment

                            • TheGoodLife
                              Home Daycare Provider
                              • Feb 2012
                              • 1372

                              #29
                              Originally posted by crazydaycarelady
                              Probably not the best solution but my hubby and two of my sons (20 and 22) are home today. I told them to make them as uncomfortable as possible. Haha
                              ::

                              Comment

                              • KiddieCahoots
                                FCC Educator
                                • Mar 2014
                                • 1349

                                #30
                                Originally posted by crazydaycarelady
                                Probably not the best solution but my hubby and two of my sons (20 and 22) are home today. I told them to make them as uncomfortable as possible. Haha
                                Omg! ::......
                                Too funny!

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