DCM Annoyed With Me...

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

...and that's okay, cause the feelings mutual.

DCM has 4yo DCB tell me she is picking him up at 1:30 to go to the pool. She knows I won't allow it during queit time. I politely remind her to pick up before 1:00 or after 3:00. She says then, "Sorry, Buddy, she isn't going to let it happen. Maybe another day." Then to me, "I have to work tonight." (at her pt job) with such a pitiful expression. Now, I am a very nice person, and only recently grew in my lady balls, so I surprised myself by not giving in. All I could think was how many more times this summer is she going to want to do this? Disturbing all my nappers, him being a mess the next day from no nap the day prior? So I said no and meant it, and also said I hoped she could plan better next time, so I didn't seem like the bad guy to DCB. What a tool.

[Tdhmom]

...and that's okay, cause the feelings mutual.

DCM has 4yo DCB tell me she is picking him up at 1:30 to go to the pool. She knows I won't allow it during queit time. I politely remind her to pick up before 1:00 or after 3:00. She says then, "Sorry, Buddy, she isn't going to let it happen. Maybe another day." Then to me, "I have to work tonight." (at her pt job) with such a pitiful expression. Now, I am a very nice person, and only recently grew in my lady balls, so I surprised myself by not giving in. All I could think was how many more times this summer is she going to want to do this? Disturbing all my nappers, him being a mess the next day from no nap the day prior? So I said no and meant it, and also said I hoped she could plan better next time, so I didn't seem like the bad guy to DCB. What a tool.

That got me rolling ::

[Unregistered]

I thought legally you had to release the child if the parent came for them no matter what time?
What happens if a parent shows up at the door at 1:30 and wants to take the child to a doctor appointment?

I understand that isn't your policy but legally wouldn't that be considered detaining or kidnapping?

[craftymissbeth]

I thought legally you had to release the child if the parent came for them no matter what time?
What happens if a parent shows up at the door at 1:30 and wants to take the child to a doctor appointment?

I understand that isn't your policy but legally wouldn't that be considered detaining or kidnapping?

Well, yeah, but the way I'm reading OP's post is that the mom asked at drop-off. If she had showed up anyway, then OP would have had to release dck. BUT that doesn't mean that there wouldn't be consequences for dcm... probation, term, etc. We're allowed to say that we strongly discourage pick-ups and drop-offs during nap, but you're right in that we can't actually prevent them for doing it.

[Blackcat31]

...and that's okay, cause the feelings mutual.

DCM has 4yo DCB tell me she is picking him up at 1:30 to go to the pool. She knows I won't allow it during queit time. I politely remind her to pick up before 1:00 or after 3:00. She says then, "Sorry, Buddy, she isn't going to let it happen. Maybe another day." Then to me, "I have to work tonight." (at her pt job) with such a pitiful expression. Now, I am a very nice person, and only recently grew in my lady balls, so I surprised myself by not giving in. All I could think was how many more times this summer is she going to want to do this? Disturbing all my nappers, him being a mess the next day from no nap the day prior? So I said no and meant it, and also said I hoped she could plan better next time, so I didn't seem like the bad guy to DCB. What a tool.

I would address this with mom. If it were me, I'd be pretty miffed about this.

I would let her know that you are upset that she made YOU the bad guy when she CLEARLY knew your policy about nap time pick ups.

She didn't have to put on a "little play" in front of you like she did.

If she truly cared about her son's feelings, she would have come to you and discussed this like an adult BEFORE involving him.

Talking through your kids to me or having them ask me something verses asking me yourself drives me crazy.

I would be talking with this mom and letting her know that in no uncertain terms should she be putting you in that position again.

Wow! People never cease to amaze me.

[Sugar Magnolia]

"That sounds like fun, but lets make it 1 pm instead. I'd prefer no pick ups during nap, for obvious reasons. Or next time, go to the pool in the morning and I'll see you at1pm"
Smile and wave bye

I do this: If a parent wants to pick up during nap....."text me 5 minutes before you arrive and I'll get him ready and bring him to the door. No bell ringing or knocking,, no coming inside, meet you at the door"

I suspect she didn't want to take him to the pool anyways, just looking for am out, and not wanting mommy to be the bad guy. Booooo.

[daycarediva]

Well, yeah, but the way I'm reading OP's post is that the mom asked at drop-off. If she had showed up anyway, then OP would have had to release dck. BUT that doesn't mean that there wouldn't be consequences for dcm... probation, term, etc. We're allowed to say that we strongly discourage pick-ups and drop-offs during nap, but you're right in that we can't actually prevent them for doing it.

Yup. I HIGHLY DISCOURAGE it. Why is it fair for the 5 other children I have in care to be woken and then cranky and ruin the rest of their day/their parents day because of poor planning on the part of ONE parent.

If they show, I have to release the kiddo, but they get a stern warning, I WILL NOT keep a family that does this repeatedly.

I have had numerous kids over the years schedule appointments AROUND our schedule. I have one who is picking at 2:30 on the dot today, who planned it ahead of time, and told me she will wait on the porch and have me bring out dck to her....because she knows my policy, understands why I have it, and follows it.

[cheerfuldom]

If it happens again, I would say right in front of mom "Sorry Aiden, mama keeps forgetting about the rules at daycare. Maybe next time she will remember so you won't be disappointed again"

and yes, I have played that game right back with parents.

[melilley]

OMG lady balls! :::: Love it!

I agree, she probably didn't want to take him anyways and that was her way out without looking like a bad guy. How rude!

[Second Home]

If it happens again, I would say right in front of mom "Sorry Aiden, mama keeps forgetting about the rules at daycare. Maybe next time she will remember so you won't be disappointed again"

and yes, I have played that game right back with parents.

[KiddieCahoots]

If it happens again, I would say right in front of mom "Sorry Aiden, mama keeps forgetting about the rules at daycare. Maybe next time she will remember so you won't be disappointed again"

and yes, I have played that game right back with parents.

::............
That would definitely stop parents from playing "good cop, bad cop"! Love it!

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

I thought legally you had to release the child if the parent came for them no matter what time?
What happens if a parent shows up at the door at 1:30 and wants to take the child to a doctor appointment?

I understand that isn't your policy but legally wouldn't that be considered detaining or kidnapping?

Oh, come on. Are you for real? Of course I would allow a parent to take their child any time of the day. I can tell them I don't WANT them to, and let them know I will be very unhappy if they cannot respect the kids' much needed rest time in our otherwise super busy days. Me thinks me smells a troll...

[TickleMonster]

Wow making you into the bad guy....talk about rude. On another note, I have been noticing that alot of providers dont appreciate parents picking up at naptime. Most of you are saying that it wakes your other dck. Do your dck nap on mats in a main room near the front door? I only ask because I frequently have parents dropoff and pickup at naptime and have never had it wake my other dcks. Parents are polite and quiet but none of my dck nap areas are near the front of my house. Its just never been an issue to me so I am just curious.

[Unregistered]

Yes I am for real, I am a parent not a provider (and I am using the term provider not to be disrespectful to anyone but to just categorize who I am talking about) although I have worked in centers before I got my son. I am registered here but I long ago forgot my login and password. I have read several times on this board that home providers "dont" allow pick ups during naptime. As a parent I wondered if home providers would actually go so far as to not open the door or not allow the parent to take the child if they showed up during naptime. I know at centers parents pick up children during naptime often with no problem. The impression that I have gathered from this board after reading it for almost 2 years is that providers don't want any disturbances or parents arriving during nap time not because the children need the rest but that the providers use that time as their downtime. I also find it a bit ironic that some providers on this board often complain about parents not spending time with their children and when a parent wants to come and get the child early they are told that its not a good time. Imho (and I know many of you are going to jump on me for having an opinion) the OP (no offense to you) could have just as easily said that was a wonderful idea for the kid to go spend time with Mom and told the Mom she would have the child ready if the mom text when mom was a few minutes away.

[CraftyMom]

Wow making you into the bad guy....talk about rude. On another note, I have been noticing that alot of providers dont appreciate parents picking up at naptime. Most of you are saying that it wakes your other dck. Do your dck nap on mats in a main room near the front door? I only ask because I frequently have parents dropoff and pickup at naptime and have never had it wake my other dcks. Parents are polite and quiet but none of my dck nap areas are near the front of my house. Its just never been an issue to me so I am just curious.

Yes, our daycare room is right at the entrance to our home. So they are sleeping where the parents will be entering to pick up their child. I have had a few pick ups during nap. It depends on how far into nap it is. If it's toward the end of nap then absolutely they will wake easily. If it's toward the beginning they are not as likely to be woken. It also depends on which kids happen to be here, some of my kids are super light sleepers and wake up when they hear a mouse fart (as my husband so eloquently puts it!)