Is this abuse?!

[Unregistered]

Dcm came in and told me for discipline she spanks her kids with a flip flop.

Every time I point at something near dcg she flinches.

Wtf.

I'm honestly kind of scared dcm will
Know
I called and come here and flip on me.

[Unregistered]

I should elaborate.

I am going to call. I care about the safety of the child FIRST. I just know dcm will figure it out and she WILL flip out on me. I do not put it past her to try to get physical. I'm just kind of worried about thatz

[NightOwl]

I don't think the flip flop is the issue. Those are usually soft and flexible. I think the issue is the constant flinching. To me, that says she's being hit and being hit often.

[llpa]

I don't think the flip flop is the issue. Those are usually soft and flexible. I think the issue is the constant flinching. To me, that says she's being hit and being hit often.

yes

[SillyGrl]

I agree that the flinching is suspicious. And I would most likely report that. I will say that my oldest flinches and I don't spank/hit or anything like that. One time, our neighbors called the cops because he was in a time out and screaming like a banshee, they really believed I was beating him. He has a developmental disorder, though, and just really goes all out when he gets in trouble.

Barring some kind of developmental issue, flinching constantly is not what I would consider normal

[sharlan]

Does the child have bruises from the flip flop?

Flinching is not necessarily a sign of abuse. My youngest grandson flinches and I guarantee he is not spanked or abused.

[Heidi]

I would only call that abuse if there are marks, or other signs of abuse. A flip-flop?

I personally would only ever spank my own kids with my hand, because then I know how much force I applied (the 3 times they each got spanked, that is). If it hurt me, it hurt them...or shall I say, if it didn't hurt me too much, it didn't hurt them too much.

My mom used a wooden spoon.

[Tdhmom]

I have a dcb that flinches a lot. I know it isn't abuse. He's just a very skiddish kid. If I'm in the other room and come in and say his name you would have thought I was right behind him trying to scare him he flinches so bad.

[Unregistered]

Kids flinch all the time. Unless their are visual bruises I wouldn't report this. My parents used a belt, I use my hand, I used to nanny for a couple that used a slotted spoon (hit just wrong and welts formed), a co-workers grandmother used a cat o nine tails whip on her kids and grandkids.

[SillyGrl]

Kids flinch all the time. Unless their are visual bruises I wouldn't report this. My parents used a belt, I use my hand, I used to nanny for a couple that used a slotted spoon (hit just wrong and welts formed), a co-workers grandmother used a cat o nine tails whip on her kids and grandkids.

[craftymissbeth]

Only you know if you suspect this is abuse or not. That's the key to reporting anything to CPS. If YOU suspect it's abuse, then you report it no matter what. If what you're seeing makes you feel as though dcm is abuse then you definitely should report it.

With that said, just the flip flop spanking wouldn't necessarily make me think that she's being abused. It also depends on whether there are laws in your area that state that children may only be spanked with a flat, open palm. I *think* that's what our area's laws are, but I'm not totally sure on that.


My mom sent me out to a bush one time to pick my own switch. Of course, I picked the thinnest one. Big mistake!

[Childminder]

Actually one of the reason listed to report is flinching.

Physical Abuse - Behavioral Indicators

Self-destructive/self-mutilation.
Withdrawn and/or aggressive-behavior extremes.
Uncomfortable/skittish with physical contact.
Arrives at school late or stays late as if afraid to be at home.
Chronic runaway (adolescents).
Complains of soreness or moves uncomfortably.
Wears clothing inappropriate to weather, to cover body.
Lack of impulse control (e.g. inappropriate outbursts).


Call, it is not your job to decide whether it is abuse that job belong to CPS.

[NightOwl]

Yes, some kids are just skiddish. I think if the flinching is new, it's definitely reportable.

[Chellieleanne]

My oldest flinches too if he is in trouble and we don't beat him or anything. However hitting with objects (fact DCM confessed to it) is usually considered abuse depending on your state laws. Personally I would report it. I got hit with a belt and a board as a kid, DH got hit with cords, chanclas(sandals), and who knows what else that he hasn't mentioned to me, we grew up ok as it wasn't constant abuse but all the same hitting a child with an object is wrong.

[SillyGrl]

My oldest flinches too if he is in trouble and we don't beat him or anything. However hitting with objects (fact DCM confessed to it) is usually considered abuse depending on your state laws. Personally I would report it. I got hit with a belt and a board as a kid, DH got hit with cords, chanclas(sandals), and who knows what else that he hasn't mentioned to me, we grew up ok as it wasn't constant abuse but all the same hitting a child with an object is wrong.

The laws are definitely different in each state. Texas and several other states still allow swats given in school, with a paddle

In Texas: "Parent/stepparent/person standing in loco parentis to child is justified to use non-deadly force against a child under 18 when and to degree the actor reasonably believes necessary to discipline, or safeguard or promote child's welfare. Penal § 9.61."

That just makes me shudder. As long as you don't kill your kid, and you really believe that the force was necessary to discipline or safeguard their welfare, it's not abuse.