Is this abuse?!

[Chellieleanne]

The laws are definitely different in each state. Texas and several other states still allow swats given in school, with a paddle

In Texas: "Parent/stepparent/person standing in loco parentis to child is justified to use non-deadly force against a child under 18 when and to degree the actor reasonably believes necessary to discipline, or safeguard or promote child's welfare. Penal § 9.61."

That just makes me shudder. As long as you don't kill your kid, and you really believe that the force was necessary to discipline or safeguard their welfare, it's not abuse.

That is scary... To a point I can understand. At the same time though I think anything other than a hand is wrong. Even someone using their hand can be excessive. I should go look up my state laws and see what they say about spanking. Like I can understand on a young child like running into the street for example. I would rather swat my kid on the butt and him learn than have them get run over. The least dangerous lesson for the situation. However I would never hit another persons child even if I was given permission. That is just wrong.

[craftymissbeth]

The laws are definitely different in each state. Texas and several other states still allow swats given in school, with a paddle

In Texas: "Parent/stepparent/person standing in loco parentis to child is justified to use non-deadly force against a child under 18 when and to degree the actor reasonably believes necessary to discipline, or safeguard or promote child's welfare. Penal § 9.61."

That just makes me shudder. As long as you don't kill your kid, and you really believe that the force was necessary to discipline or safeguard their welfare, it's not abuse.

I feel like that says "crazy parent" that law is just beyond scary!

[Chellieleanne]

I found this website but I don't know how up to date it is but may be helpful.

http://kidjacked.com/legal/spanking_law.asp

[KiddieCahoots]

I'm thinking it's in the manner in which the flip flop is used.

Is mom repeatedly and aggressively whacking the child with the flip flop while the child huddles, or while mom holds the child down, striking with the flip flop? Then that whole scene would be abusive, not just the use of a flip flop.

Or....has mom designated the power to the flip flop, so when the child sees mom get the flip flop, the child knows and says, "uh oh! I better quit this inappropriate behavior, or I'm gonna get it!", and settles down?

As for kids flinching? Heck! When something, or someone goes by my face quickly or too close, I flinch.

I worked with a lot of severe CPS cases in the last 30 years. In regards to physical abuse, marks on the body to confirm are the first form of documentation asked for.

[TwinKristi]

It actually depends on your state, so check the link someone posted above. Some states do NOT allow you to spank with anything other than an open hand on a clothed bottom and other states have age restrictions and some have no restrictions at all.

When in doubt, call. I would take a parent being mad at me over losing my license and the guilt I would have not turning in abuse any day.

[debbiedoeszip]

I don't know about the various US states, but in Canada spanking with a flip flop would be abuse (though it might only lead to parenting classes and a "don't do it again"). Spanking with anything other than an open hand is illegal here.

[KiddieCahoots]

It does depend on your state.
And as mandated reporters, we are required to do just that.
Not trying to be a jerk, but don't count on much happening from it.
In my state I do not have much faith in the system. It takes multiple reports to be made, and proof, before a child is seized by the state.
The main goal for families is reunification. In my opinion, this is not always the best answer, but.....state budgets determine that outcome.
I've even encountered, more than one case, in which the child revealed sexual abuse in therapy, but because there was no proof, and the parent denied the accusations, the child was still allowed to go on weekend visits, and later reunited with parents.

[craftymissbeth]

http://www.hlntv.com/article/2014/05/29/aranza-aaron-assault-daughter-african-american-dance-partner

Well, this makes me feel better about that Texas law. Just happened to come across it on Facebook and it made me think of this thread.

[Unregistered]

I lived by this: "When in doubt, call it out"

It's not up to you to be sure something is going on, just to make sure you address it with someone.

That said,
I was flip-flop mom. It was easy to grab, not too hard, and stung just enough to make the child stop doing whatever dumb thing they were doing. Usually, I knew the dumb thing would turn into a DANGEROUS thing, and that's why I did it. But this was a long time ago. Nowadays, you can't discipline your child anymore, so while *I* wouldn't report based on knowing mom used a flip-flop,

I might if the child seems jumpy even if I'm trying to give a hug or another child is simply playing. Some kids are jumpy, some are not. Is this a NEW behavior of hers or do you know? Do you see marks on the face, chest, arms, hands (from blocking), legs etc? Does the child get spooked by noises easily? Yelling? What else do you notice?

Mom admitting to being a spanker, even if she did say "And yeah, I use a flip-flop" would not warrant a call to CPS from me, but depending on the answers to the other questions, it might.