Message From Mom, Need Help ASAP

[Unregistered]

Received a message from a mom that I have had in my program for 3 years, she will be leaving in August for school. The message says, "I need 2 talk 2 u about something face 2 face would u do coffee with me Saturday morning we must talk without the kids around"

I do not know what is going on or why she would want to speak without children present nothing bad has happened recently but I am still worried. Should I still accept the child tomorrow after this message?

[midaycare]

I don't think she would drop the kids off with you if she thought something was wrong with you. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess it's something in her personal life, like a divorce or separation. Maybe someone is really sick in the family (perhaps even her).

Why don't you ask her tomorrow at drop off, "Hey, is there something wrong with _____? I know you don't want to talk about it here, but I'm just wondering if I should be looking out for something today."

At least that might give you a hint ...

[Unregistered]

Divorce/marriage breakdown is the first thought that came to my mind.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I don't think she would drop the kids off with you if she thought something was wrong with you. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess it's something in her personal life, like a divorce or separation. Maybe someone is really sick in the family (perhaps even her).

Why don't you ask her tomorrow at drop off, "Hey, is there something wrong with _____? I know you don't want to talk about it here, but I'm just wondering if I should be looking out for something today."

At least that might give you a hint ...

Yes, for sure inquire as she said.

[cheerfuldom]

I would not meet for coffee on my day off. I would schedule an after hours phone call if she wants to discuss something with the kids not present. My guess is that she is wanting to ask for a major favor and figures taking you out and asking in person will make it hard for you to say no. Its easier to say no if you aren't in person

[CraftyMom]

I'm thinking she wants a favor or something out of the ordinary...and you should say no ::

[daycare]

I would not meet for coffee on my day off. I would schedule an after hours phone call if she wants to discuss something with the kids not present. My guess is that she is wanting to ask for a major favor and figures taking you out and asking in person will make it hard for you to say no. Its easier to say no if you aren't in person

This wd my thought too. She wants a favor.
I also second the after hours phone call. No one in my daycare should take my precious family time from me.

[TwinKristi]

I agree... That's never a good thing. She's either asking for a favor or going to be pulling the kids out sooner or something. I don't think it has anything info with you or your program though. I would ask if you could just talk on the phone, you have plans or something.

[daycarediva]

I would not meet for coffee on my day off. I would schedule an after hours phone call if she wants to discuss something with the kids not present. My guess is that she is wanting to ask for a major favor and figures taking you out and asking in person will make it hard for you to say no. Its easier to say no if you aren't in person

Say no to the weekend coffee meeting and the favor.

"Sorry dcm, I have family plans. I am available for a phone conference today at X or tomorrow at X. Let me know what will work for you."

[Josiegirl]

I guess I'm one of the few who would agree to meet with her on a Saturday, but then I'm not involved with any family being home ATM. If you have a 3 yr. relationship with this family there is some definite history there already. Only you know how much you want to invest as far as time outside of dc hours.

As far as favors, etc., wait and see. I cannot begin to imagine what her needs are.

[SquirrellyMama]

I would probably meet for coffee, but I never turn down a coffee invitation. It might be a favor or it might be something going wrong in their family. You might send her a message back asking for a little more information before deciding.


Kelly

[Blackcat31]

I had a DCF ask for a meeting with me after hours once... :confused:

They were on the cusp of leaving (kids were aging out) and they had been a long term family that I had a pretty good relationship with.

I tried to decline politely but mom kept pushing...

A million things went through my head:

• Why do they want to talk to me after hours?
• What favor are they going to ask?
• She wants me to keep her kids longer (I don't take SA'ers)
• She wants to leave early and skip out on paying the last couple weeks
• Oh-oh....

.....turns out she put together a really nice "social hour" type get together (after hours = NO kids ) and had included a couple other moms/families that attended my program and had all worked at the same place as DCM...

Basically, she threw me a little "provider appreciation" party as a thank you for everything she said I had done for her family in the years they had attended my daycare. lovethis

Hmm....who would have thunk it?

[Second Home]

I do not do things relating to daycare on the weekends , that time is reserved for my family .

[KiddieCahoots]

Wow! Blackcat, that's amazing, and a huge compliment!
Would be so great if more dcp's appreciated us this way.

Blackcat's example is perfect, to even a worrier like me. Don't let your mind go there and get you all worked up and worried about it.

I would rather do the conversation on the phone though. I wouldn't want to give up my weekend, and I'm more confident to say what needs to be said on the phone, than in person.

Don't be afraid or pressured to give her any answers at that moment Simply state...let me think about that, and I'll get back to you with an answer.

[Unregistered]

I would go just because I am nosy and curious as to what she has to say. If she ask for a favor chug your coffee fast and go home quickly. My first thought was divorce or pregnant.