Message From Mom, Need Help ASAP

[Unregistered]

Op

I'm puzzled too it doesn't make sense. Both parents knew my rule of only girls in BR together and only boys in BR together. One part of the message he is implying inappropriate touching then saying it's normal child behavior and wanting the girls to play together still. The only possiblity I can think of is they were able to get into the preschool/daycare by her work earlier than expected. Mom said it's preschool the message from dad said daycare? I moved 7 months ago and the drive is difficult for them. 30 minutes to my house and 45-50 back to both of their jobs. I would pray to high heaven they wouldn't make this up or inflate it to get out early.

I'm down to 2 kids and no possible kids in sight.

[SquirrellyMama]

So, they might be leaving to put their dd in preschool, but need free care, I mean, playdates when not in preschool? Is that a possibility?

Kelly

[Leigh]

So they don't want to bring their daughter back, but are willing to let the girls have sleep overs with one another???
This makes no sense.
So the little girl had toilet paper in her underwear like a pad and said your daughter did it???
So what???
First, why did she leave it in there if she didn't want it in there. Second why would she let another kid fold up toilet paper and put it in her underwear?
Third, so what if it happened at all, sounds like modeling somebodies mom to me....
Glad they aren't coming back, but think you should sever ties, no play dates or sleep overs.
If they can't trust you to care for their child, then your child shouldn't go to their house, and you shouldn't have theirs over for any "sleepover"......
The whole thing is very bizarre....

I agree. Just politely decline the sleepover invitation. If they press you, go ahead and tell them why.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Ensure that they pay their final two weeks notice and let them go. I, personally, wouldn't want to do "free care/playdates" on my weekends for a client (past or present).

[MissAnn]

Met with mom on Friday evening. I recorded the converstation on my phone. NannyD was right. Thursday the girls went to the restroom I let them. Previously didn't see anything wrong with 2 girls using the restroom together. Mom said that my dd put toliet paper to use like a (pad) mom was not upset, mad or angry said she wanted to keep her here bc she loves us, it wasn't meant in a bad way exc. said they were staying see you on Monday. Talked to my dd she broke down crying promising up & down she did not do it she gave her the toilet paper but didn't do it to her. She used tp also. Dcd messaged me yesterday afternoon and says they aren't coming back. He kept saying it wasn't my fault or my dd fault but he still can't bring her back. Then said we would like ur dd to spend the night next weekend our dd would love that. We can all get together twice a month for play dates. Could we still use you for drop in? Makes 0 sense. I termed a problem kid last week now we are really going to hurt.

Ps changed my rule to 1 @ a time in BR

OK...this is something I wanted to ask about. I have 2 precocious 4/5 year old girls. Today one pulled her shirt down in front of a boy. The boy said...are those your boobies? (ugh). The other girl was going potty on the toilet. When she got off she went to the opening of the door and danced with her pants down! The boobie girl did this while waiting her turn to go potty. Today I was wondering.....my kids go potty whenever they want. They don't ask...they just go. With these things starting to happen, should I have the kids TELL me when they have to go and I stand at the door? They can't shut the door and I wouldn't let them anyway. Too many dangers in a bathroom plus.....like in your case, unregistered.....2 kids could be in there and I don't know it....if the door is shut I just think that leads to more mischievousness. I'd love to hear what you guys do?????

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

OK...this is something I wanted to ask about. I have 2 precocious 4/5 year old girls. Today one pulled her shirt down in front of a boy. The boy said...are those your boobies? (ugh). The other girl was going potty on the toilet. When she got off she went to the opening of the door and danced with her pants down! The boobie girl did this while waiting her turn to go potty. Today I was wondering.....my kids go potty whenever they want. They don't ask...they just go. With these things starting to happen, should I have the kids TELL me when they have to go and I stand at the door? They can't shut the door and I wouldn't let them anyway. Too many dangers in a bathroom plus.....like in your case, unregistered.....2 kids could be in there and I don't know it....if the door is shut I just think that leads to more mischievousness. I'd love to hear what you guys do?????

I sure would! I have a couple of kids that must be monitored and cannot make good choices when near a bathroom (much like these that you are mentioning). My door can NEVER be closed due to one of those things on it that prevents fingers from getting pinched. ONE in at a time, door cannot close, and other children waiting to use it must be in the playing area NOT near the bathroom (although, I do have a gate that I will shut as well near it).

I also mention things like this to their parents. "If you could please have a talk with Sally at home tonight to reinforce the rules at daycare that we keep our private parts private and do not show or attempt to show them to others that would be great. Thank you so much."

[Unregistered]

Op

OK...this is something I wanted to ask about. I have 2 precocious 4/5 year old girls. Today one pulled her shirt down in front of a boy. The boy said...are those your boobies? (ugh). The other girl was going potty on the toilet. When she got off she went to the opening of the door and danced with her pants down! The boobie girl did this while waiting her turn to go potty. Today I was wondering.....my kids go potty whenever they want. They don't ask...they just go. With these things starting to happen, should I have the kids TELL me when they have to go and I stand at the door? They can't shut the door and I wouldn't let them anyway. Too many dangers in a bathroom plus.....like in your case, unregistered.....2 kids could be in there and I don't know it....if the door is shut I just think that leads to more mischievousness. I'd love to hear what you guys do?????

I started the rule of telling before going bc kids like to play in the BR mostly with the water in my case. Thought 2 girls using the BR was harmless guess I was wrong. Provides have to cover their tush every minute of the day 4 every small thing.

[FluffyGrandma]

Sounds like making a mountain out of a mole hill to get out of contract. Please keep communications from dcd about wanting to do drop ins and sleep overs, so if they raise issues you have proof that it obviously wasn't that big of a deal. I call certain areas your business and tell all kids to keep their business to themselves and mind their own. I am also big on space invading. I never allow more than one in the. bathroom. But here they di have to shut the door because we have a couple lookie loos. I have one I have even looked up to see had opened the door and was grinning at me. I also dont allow kids to watch diaper changes and will say thats no our business go play. As for one per bathroom, if for no other reason kids give each other some aunry ideas, like lets shampoo the walls, .

[Unregistered]

Save and print all communication immediately. And then stop communicating if at all possible. Do not let your dd near them. They will interrogate them.

They were never a friend, they were a customer. Now they aren't even that. No playdates.

Expect a call from licensing. Someone will tell them to make a report. Or, the new "preschool" will do it because the story they may have heard would be "reportable."

I have a friend who had something similarly stupid happen. They took her computer away to analyze it to make sure there was no p*rn on it. They were in her face for months and months after than. Everything was cleared up, but you can imagine the h*ll she lived through, the customers she lost, the sleep she never found.

Never underestimate the power of an angry parent.

[CtheLove]

WoW all that fuss about toilet paper in the underwear?!? Good Lord what is this world coming to.

[BabyLuver21]

Um wow!!! What a WEIRD weird story. Do not communicate any further. Something is off, and it's not you.

Never leave a kid in the bathroom alone w/ closed door. I made the mistake of doing that w/ a 4 yo, actually this happened in June and he was to turn 5 in that July. Not even in 3 minutes, he had POOP smeared EVERYWHERE. I smelled something odd, opened the door and he was covered. It just takes a minute to really do damage. I really wanted to give him a what-for but he wasn't my kid. He KNEW better as at that age, c'mon! Never were the kids allowed to close the door again.

[Unregistered]

OP, update:

As you know they termed shortly after the converstation. I messaged dad asking if he wanted the tax info now or Jan 2015. He didn't respond so I messaged mom 3 days later, no response. Then almost a month later. Mom messaged me Monday wanting a play date. I replied politely declining the play date and future ones. She read the response shortly after but didn't respond until this afternoon. She said we will be at X mall with date and time. We would like you to be there. We decided not to report the incident to DHS.

It sounds like a threat to me! What do I do? I'm very nervous! My background is squeaky clean and I would like to keep it that way! To my knowledge even false accusations stay on your record and will hurt you. Right? How should I approach this?

[Unregistered]

Keep all communication. That they keep pushing to have play dates afterwards is interesting and works in your favor I would think. I would keep politely declining and hope it all goes away.

Whole thing seems odd and blown out of proportion.

Lessons learned.

[CedarCreek]

Stop communication now! Do not converse anymore with this family!

Gather your documentation about the incident including any text messages and emails about the incident and get your dc and other paper work ready for an inspection.

I'm not saying you will be reported and inspected, but get your ducks in a row just I case.

If you are investigated, you have the time that they waited to NOT report it on your side. As well as the proof that they still wanted a relationship with you and your dd.

Good luck :hug:

[Unregistered]

Makes sense, over worrying for no reason. I was up late last night putting together a file. After thinking about it more I think they were just finding an excuse to get out early without paying for the 2 weeks notice.