When a DCM Has a New Baby...

[Unregistered]

Yes I've had a few older siblings full time for the entire 1 year mat leave. It is the norm now. Keeps me in business for sure, but yes it is hard comforting the weeping older sibling who is in their own words "angry" that their mom no longer loves them. I've noticed it does not exactly help with sibling bonding either.

[Blackcat31]

I think every family does what is best for them.

Either way, some providers complain because parents don't keep their kids home and some complain because they can't find parents interested in full time care.

To each his/her own. I wouldn't judge a family for whatever choice they make as ultimately only they know what is best for their family unit.

[saved4always]

I think each family does do what is best for their situation. Actually, in my experience with my own kids, sometimes the family who comes to "help" only mean they want to come hold the baby. Not every family actually steps up and helps around the house or with the older kids. With my second, I didn't even have any family stay with me. It was easler. As long as they are paying for care, I don't think it should be a concern.

[saved4always]

Agree!

Both DCFs that are expecting here are teachers who get 6-8 weeks for maternity leave. One will be taking 6 weeks because her employer basically told her that she has taken too much time off for her DCG's illnesses this past year (had horrible ear infections, ended up with tubes = blessing). I think it is (as you said it perfectly) barbaric to require someone to take a shorter leave due to prior issues.

On that same note, I told DCM to prepare DCD to take off time as needed then when either child was ill - that my illness policies were not bendable regardless of their time off available and again suggested finding a back up care provider.

I thought that with the Family Medical Leave act or whatever it is called, they had to let moms take up to 12 weeks....not necessarily paid. I had my last child 12 years ago before that law so I could be confused.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I have never had a child present that left early to see their sibling be born, left early to go visit their newly born sibling, or who stayed home any time after that sibling was born. At this point, I would be SURPRISED if the child was picked up early or kept home at all for that reason. ::

When I had my daughter last year, we picked up our older child from school and he was there during the vast majority of my natural labor and childbirth. It was LOUD and he was glad he was there (although, he turned his back and didn't want to see a thing). I want my children to be a part of big events like that. But, some don't and some feel that rest is a big priority immediately following their delivery (during the hours or days after). I can't blame them. I was physically weak, in severe pain, and enjoyed the rest during my 2 week maternity leave. I have never had anyone baby-sit my youngest child, but I can TOTALLY see having someone baby-sit (I know, not quite the same...) for a day or two of my recovery time if I had a young child.

[taylorw1210]

I think every family does what is best for them.

Either way, some providers complain because parents don't keep their kids home and some complain because they can't find parents interested in full time care.

To each his/her own. I wouldn't judge a family for whatever choice they make as ultimately only they know what is best for their family unit.

[Unregistered]

I thought that with the Family Medical Leave act or whatever it is called, they had to let moms take up to 12 weeks....not necessarily paid. I had my last child 12 years ago before that law so I could be confused.

Only with a certain number of employees in the company. If you have less than I believe its 50 lives then you don't qualify.

We don't get maternity we get 6 weeks disability (maybe 8 but a doctor has to approve if its a C-section) . If you adopt. You get no time.

[Blackcat31]

Only with a certain number of employees in the company. If you have less than I believe its 50 lives then you don't qualify.

We don't get maternity we get 6 weeks disability (maybe 8 but a doctor has to approve if its a C-section) . If you adopt. You get no time.

A company must have 50 or more employees.

The FML includes adoption as well.

There are 4 basic situations in which you can invoke and use FMLA leave:
• Childbirth and newborn care
• Adoption or accepting a child for foster care
• Caring for a family member (a son, daughter, spouse, or your parent) who has a serious health condition
• Undergoing care and treatment for your own serious health condition.
(http://www.hr.commerce.gov/Employees/Leave/DEV01_005926)

http://www.dol.gov/dol/topic/benefits-leave/fmla.htm

[saved4always]

Only with a certain number of employees in the company. If you have less than I believe its 50 lives then you don't qualify.

We don't get maternity we get 6 weeks disability (maybe 8 but a doctor has to approve if its a C-section) . If you adopt. You get no time.

That's the part I was missing....the 50 employees...forgot about that.

[TwinKristi]

I think every family does what is best for them.

Either way, some providers complain because parents don't keep their kids home and some complain because they can't find parents interested in full time care.

To each his/her own. I wouldn't judge a family for whatever choice they make as ultimately only they know what is best for their family unit.

The bolded came to mind. You can't please everyone, so do what you can to please the most people. We expect parents to pay for their spot, but then not use it, but then if they're not working pay to hold the spot. If moms are on a reduced income for disability or maternity leave it can be a lot to ask. Plus if they pull their child out for 6-12wks and you fill the spot what can they do? So either bring their kid and use the spot they pay for or pull out and risk losing the spot. Plus then you have to completely retransition the child AND their new sibling upon return! Daycare may be the most stable place for them during this new time.

I thought that with the Family Medical Leave act or whatever it is called, they had to let moms take up to 12 weeks....not necessarily paid. I had my last child 12 years ago before that law so I could be confused.

And you have to take all paid leave (vacation time, sick days, etc.) before they will pay you. And even if the entire company has 50+ employees, if your individual office has less they can protest if it creates a hardship for their business. There are ways around it. I was able to take my 12wks plus use my vacation time even though I worked for a small business... granted my mom was my immediate supervisor!

Personally, when I was on the other end of this business, we usually brought our older kids for a shorter day to keep normalcy for them and allow time to bond, go to doctor's appts, etc.

[renodeb]

I actually had two moms on mat leave around the same time. One was home the whole time mom was off and the other was here for a while b/c the baby had to stay in the NICU until she started eatting enough and gaining and stuff then he was home the whole rest of the time mom was. I have found that more kids stay in dc around the birth of the baby and just have grma or someone dropping off and picking up to help mom and dad out. I have had quite a few kids that never missed a day and it is sad. You would think the child would miss some but guess not!
Deb

[countrymom]

the only problem that posses to parents is the fact they are the first ones to complain how they can't get anything done with 2 kids or can't go anywhere with 2 kids. Well, dummies thats because you never trained yourself to deal with 2 kids, its easier to dump one off and only deal with one kid at a time.

[TaylorTots]

I thought that with the Family Medical Leave act or whatever it is called, they had to let moms take up to 12 weeks....not necessarily paid. I had my last child 12 years ago before that law so I could be confused.

The DCM I was referring to is due in December. Her employer stated she needed to be "back by February and take no leave until school is out in June."

Regardless of legality (I am not familiar with FMLA in regard to maternity leave), that's what she was told (she's not prone to exaggeration and was definitely a little worried when she was sharing).

6-8 weeks seems really standard based on what I have heard from other providers in my region and not usually paid.

[childcaremom]

I can't believe mat leave is so short in the US. Craziness!!

[Maria2013]

Do you expect that the older child will take at least a few days off after the birth?

I was shocked when I received an email that dcm had her baby (early) last night, and then a few hours later, an email saying dcg would be in today.

They have family up visiting because it coincidentally happens to be the same weekend as dcg's birthday-the timing couldn't have worked out better to have a baby since everyone was already in town.

I could see if they had no back-up or support, but...

I know, people will say it's important to keep dcg on a routine, and gma probably wanted the day to herself to spend with the new baby, right?

But, this poor child never misses a day, and I even stopped charging in an attempt to get them to keep her home more often.

Also, they gave me a ton of crap when I had my baby about 2 weeks being far too much time for them to find coverage, and I worked until the day I gave birth at 41 weeks...

Is it typical for kids to come back to daycare as soon as possible after a new baby?

most of my parents did think that they would keep dck home while on maternity leave, but it never worked out and kids were back in daycare after a day or two