Parents Refuse to Come Get Kids

[saved4always]

I wouldn't send a child home for a tantrum- imho I would address the issue, give it a date for improvement/resolution and then term at the end of that period.

I WOULD term immediately for being unavailable and failing to contact me.

[saved4always]

Their dad just picked the kids up. I told him that I tried to call him 4 times today and it didn't go through. He said he has a new cell phone number but doesn't know the number and kept patting his empty pockets and glancing out to the car as if the phone is in the car so he can't look the number up right now. He said he will have his wife give me his cell phone number tomorrow morning. I told him that next Friday, the 9th, will have to be the children's last day here. He didn't get upset. He just said alright. I did suggest that they go to a center so the teachers can bop him around from room to room (including the office) when he gets to be too much for the one teacher. I also told him that by going to a center, the sister will be in a different classroom and will not be able to copy his behavior throughout the day.

Apparently DCD must know his kids are a handful since he didn't seem upset about this. I think you did the right thing. And a center does sound like a better place for them for the reasons you told him.

[kitykids3]

So you're giving them a little over a week to stay? So what happens next week when you try to contact them and can't get a hold of them?

Personally I would not allow the mom to be telling me I can't contact her to pick up her child if need be and then dad be ignoring my calls. That would be immediate term. Parents need to be available for emergency. I had a kiddo have a seizure and go to the hospital about a year ago. I couldn't imagine if I wasn't able to have gotten a hold of mom.

[Kabob]

Not updating you with phone numbers is also cause for termination. That's just poor planning that puts their kids at risk. Clearly he doesn't care. So clearly he wouldn't mind if you changed the termination to be effective immediately.

[TaylorTots]

Glad to hear about the payment picking back up for the paid in advance kids and the food program check.

Let us know how the termination tonight goes! :hug:

[Unregistered]

I have mom's work number and cell number. I believe that if I call her and it's a true emergency (such as one of her children going to the hospital) she will leave work. But I don't believe she will leave work for behavioral problems or anything other than extreme emergency. I can make myself deal with him screaming for one more week. I plan to ask mom tomorrow morning for dad's cell phone number. I don't know if I will get that though. But I will call mom, dad (if I get his number), then call the friends and family members' numbers that I have. I have 3 other people's numbers. I think I'll make it one more week. If not, I will reimburse them throughout the week for the remainder of the week and tell them that I simply can't finish out the week.

[sharlan]

Their dad just picked the kids up. I told him that I tried to call him 4 times today and it didn't go through. He said he has a new cell phone number but doesn't know the number and kept patting his empty pockets and glancing out to the car as if the phone is in the car so he can't look the number up right now. He said he will have his wife give me his cell phone number tomorrow morning. I told him that next Friday, the 9th, will have to be the children's last day here. He didn't get upset. He just said alright. I did suggest that they go to a center so the teachers can bop him around from room to room (including the office) when he gets to be too much for the one teacher. I also told him that by going to a center, the sister will be in a different classroom and will not be able to copy his behavior throughout the day.

What were you thinking??????????? I would have handed him a term letter on the spot. There is no way I would tolerate that behavior for another week.

[TaylorTots]

I'm surprised as well (I hadn't refreshed the thread so I missed the update about pick up). I would seriously reconsider terminating them effective immediately.

[Unregistered]

Mom came in this morning and gave me dad's cell phone number. She told me that she knows her son can be a handful and that he's a bit much for her AND her husband to handle together so she's sure he's too much for one person (me). She said that today would be their last day. Then she gave her son a big speech about behaving here. I did say that the parents have been working with me to get him to behave. I just honestly think he has special needs and simply can not control himself when he gets upset.

She said that centers are too expensive and mentioned the children's uncle (I guess they will start being watched by their uncle).

Since today is their last day, next week should be much calmer and I can get my daycare back on track.

[coolconfidentme]

I do think it's wrong that he's **bb** your messages. I would be upset that they were making themselves unavailable.

If you tried the wife first and she said No, call Dad... I would have put it back on her, YOU need to make arrangements for your children to be picked up by this time or I'm calling CPS. Gather everything up including a term letter.

However, part of me just wonders if the child is thinking (if I scream, I go home... AHHHHHHHHHH!!! Hee hee, I win!) The sister thinks this is a neat trick. I would nip it in the bud with consequences, and if absolutely nothing I tried worked I would term. **In my opinion...I can't see any of my DCP's thinking I'm a serious child care provider if I called over tantrums. BUT, I'm not in your shoes, and you've already probably tried everything. In this case, I would term.

Good luck!

I had a DCB3 scream loud & hard. I sent him to the nap time room until he calmed down...., he never did. I texted mom repeatedly to pickup & she ignored my texts. I went down her list of contact & nobody replied! I called her employer & they gave her a message. (I called back & they verified she received it.) 4.5 hours later DCB still screaming, my neighbor comes over to ask if everything is ok! I texted DCM saying I will call CPS in 15 minutes if she doesn't pickup. She showed up in 10 minutes. I handed her a term paper as she walked in. She begged me for another chance. I told I don't do business with grownups who behave like children. DCB was smirking the whole time they walked out the door.

[countrymom]

when kids become like this over and over again, it leads me to believe that they do this at home to get attention. I would have picked him up and put him in the naughty spot away from the kids. And I would not put up with this. I think the problem is that he doesn't know what true consequences are. As for the uncle, he aint going to take their nonsense, I can see a spanking coming their way !

[NightOwl]

Ok is it just me? I'm reading this and thinking, let him CIO, even if it's all friggin day. I feel like this child is screaming because he's expecting a result: going home. And sending him home shows him that it worked and he should do it again tomorrow. It seems very counterproductive. If you have a room where he can do his screaming, put him there. He can come out when he stops. If he stays up again, back to the room you go because no one wants to listen to that mess all day long. It sounds like a war of the wills and he won. Maybe I'm missing something? Is it not possible for you to separate? Neighbors complaining about noise? Does he get violent with his fits?
However, the parents ignoring your attempts to contact them is completely unacceptable, no matter the reason you're trying to reach them for. That's grounds for termination right there. I'm glad their moving on, but I'm sure the next dcp will have the same experience.

[NightOwl]

when kids become like this over and over again, it leads me to believe that they do this at home to get attention. I would have picked him up and put him in the naughty spot away from the kids. And I would not put up with this. I think the problem is that he doesn't know what true consequences are. As for the uncle, he aint going to take their nonsense, I can see a spanking coming their way !

This!

[Unregistered]

I have put him in time out NUMEROUS times and told him he can't get up until he stops crying and is quiet for a while. I have demanded to him that he is NOT ALLOWED to scream here. I have put him in the other daycare room by himself and told him that he can come into the room with the kids and play after he stops crying and is quiet for a while. I have sent him to the bathroom and told him that he can come back into the daycare room after he calms himself down. I have made him lay down and told him he can't get up until he stops crying and is quiet for a while. Some days his parents tell him about different consequences he will get at home if they are told that he misbehaves here, so I have told him about those consequences when he starts throwing his fits. I have tried to not reprimand him and instead, get him interested in a fun activity. I have tried ignoring him and continuing on with whatever we were doing ( after a while of him screaming, all of the kids just plug their ears and I huge headache, so we really can't continue through his fits). I have tried putting the television on to distract him from his fit (we almost NEVER watch television). I have tried to logically explain to him that he is hurting everyone's ears, he is making it so the other kids can't do their schoolwork, etc.

I have tried EVERYTHING that I can think of and nothing makes him stop until he wears himself out.

I recently learned that at home, when he throws his fits, his parents simply tell him to go to his room and they let him scream until he decides to stop screaming. I told them that all that is doing is TEACHING him to basically tell them off (and any other authority that reprimands him or tells him anything he doesn't like to hear) by screaming at them. And by letting him continue to scream in his room until he feels like stopping, they are TEACHING him that he's allowed to scream and throw his fit as long as he wants. I told them that this behavior won't be accepted at any daycare home, with any babysitter, at any daycare center, or at any school once he starts kindergarten. I told them that when he starts to scream at them, they need to IMMEDIATELY reprimand him for screaming at them and teach him that he is NEVER allowed to scream at them or any adult that is in charge of him. I suggested that they correct him by telling him what he is doing wrong, why it is wrong, and what he should do instead and follow up by saying, "Do you understand me?" and demand that he calmly and respectfully respond by saying 'yes ma'am or yes sir". That is they way that I reprimand children here. But for him, as soon as I say something to him, he just screams at me and continues screaming until he's worn out.

I've worked with him for 2 months and all that has happened is that his sister is now copying his behavior. I definitely think it's time to let them go.

[Blackcat31]

I have put him in time out NUMEROUS times and told him he can't get up until he stops crying and is quiet for a while. I have demanded to him that he is NOT ALLOWED to scream here. I have put him in the other daycare room by himself and told him that he can come into the room with the kids and play after he stops crying and is quiet for a while. I have sent him to the bathroom and told him that he can come back into the daycare room after he calms himself down. I have made him lay down and told him he can't get up until he stops crying and is quiet for a while. Some days his parents tell him about different consequences he will get at home if they are told that he misbehaves here, so I have told him about those consequences when he starts throwing his fits. I have tried to not reprimand him and instead, get him interested in a fun activity. I have tried ignoring him and continuing on with whatever we were doing ( after a while of him screaming, all of the kids just plug their ears and I huge headache, so we really can't continue through his fits). I have tried putting the television on to distract him from his fit (we almost NEVER watch television). I have tried to logically explain to him that he is hurting everyone's ears, he is making it so the other kids can't do their schoolwork, etc.

I have tried EVERYTHING that I can think of and nothing makes him stop until he wears himself out.

I recently learned that at home, when he throws his fits, his parents simply tell him to go to his room and they let him scream until he decides to stop screaming. I told them that all that is doing is TEACHING him to basically tell them off (and any other authority that reprimands him or tells him anything he doesn't like to hear) by screaming at them. And by letting him continue to scream in his room until he feels like stopping, they are TEACHING him that he's allowed to scream and throw his fit as long as he wants. I told them that this behavior won't be accepted at any daycare home, with any babysitter, at any daycare center, or at any school once he starts kindergarten. I told them that when he starts to scream at them, they need to IMMEDIATELY reprimand him for screaming at them and teach him that he is NEVER allowed to scream at them or any adult that is in charge of him. I suggested that they correct him by telling him what he is doing wrong, why it is wrong, and what he should do instead and follow up by saying, "Do you understand me?" and demand that he calmly and respectfully respond by saying 'yes ma'am or yes sir". That is they way that I reprimand children here. But for him, as soon as I say something to him, he just screams at me and continues screaming until he's worn out.

I've worked with him for 2 months and all that has happened is that his sister is now copying his behavior. I definitely think it's time to let them go.

When a provider has to do MORE work than a parent to curb a behavior, it's time to go for sure.