Kisses! Kisses! More Kisses!!!!!

[TwinKristi]

Awww, maybe I'm just a newbie but I'd give her kisses if that's all she needs. No you can't do 12 different routines for all 12 kids but this is just 1. Everyone else goes to sleep well and this is her first week. She's probably never gone to sleep without these kisses. I have a 2yo myself so I guess I just feel that mama pain still. Maybe try giving her kisses and see if it works?

[preschoolteacher]

I totally get why you wouldn't want to do kisses, but if shes crying like that I would. It likely takes three seconds. In my opinion, much better to need kisses than to be rocked, or a pacifier or lovey to drag around, or to be a child who won't nap. You can slowly wean her from it with time, doing some of the other ideas offered.

[preschoolteacher]

On the other hand, I do think it's time she Kearns boundaries. You've only known her one week, you're practically a stranger to her. She's getting old enough to learn what's for family and what you don't do with strangers. It can be a lesson in personal safety. I totally contradicted myself in my last response but I see both sides!

[craftymissbeth]

Honestly, it sounds like this is no longer a cute little routine they do at home, but has become a crutch that she NEEDS in order to fall asleep. I'm all for pacifiers or lovies to help children soothe themselves to sleep, but when a child NEEDS another human being in order to sleep then it doesn't work for me. To me, this is the same as needing to be rocked. She needs to learn how to self soothe. I expect my infants to do it so I'd expect a 2 year old to as well.

[CraftyMom]

Honestly, it sounds like this is no longer a cute little routine they do at home, but has become a crutch that she NEEDS in order to fall asleep. I'm all for pacifiers or lovies to help children soothe themselves to sleep, but when a child NEEDS another human being in order to sleep then it doesn't work for me. To me, this is the same as needing to be rocked. She needs to learn how to self soothe. I expect my infants to do it so I'd expect a 2 year old to as well.

I agree with this and add that it's like anything else with children throwing a fit, if you give in they learn that the screaming and carrying on will get them their way, regardless of how long it goes on. I'm sure she isn't looking to feel loved by getting kisses, it has become a habit and a necessity to fall asleep

[TwinKristi]

But if they're going to continue doing this at home for their bedtime routine how will it ever work at daycare to not do it? I mean, I get that things are diff at home than DC and kids adapt but this may never solve itself if they're doing it at home every.single.time she goes to bed and it may seem extreme to the parents for you to encourage them NOT to kiss their child for their bedtime routine. Maybe talking to them about group care vs home?

[craftymissbeth]

But if they're going to continue doing this at home for their bedtime routine how will it ever work at daycare to not do it? I mean, I get that things are diff at home than DC and kids adapt but this may never solve itself if they're doing it at home every.single.time she goes to bed and it may seem extreme to the parents for you to encourage them NOT to kiss their child for their bedtime routine. Maybe talking to them about group care vs home?

I think a 2 year old is at least on their way to understanding that what happens at daycare is different at home. I my nap time routine is very different than home for all of my dck's. Every one of them "gets" it after a little time.

[hwichlaz]

I am ready to term, and it has only been a week. I have never seen nor heard anything like this, and she is just too old. Nothing will make her stop screaming at naptime. She exhausts herself and eventually falls asleep but not before getting my other dcks all in an uproar. I wish I could post an audio file of this little girl (who really is precious outside of naptime, and I'm sorry for sounding nasty) start screeching for kisses, except her voice gets hoarse and then gets sobby and gutteral and it sounds a little like the girl from the Exorcist. I've used a Teddy bear, a baby doll, my fingers, told her repeatedly that kisses are for mommy and daddy. Mom is no help whatsoever, because she thinks it's cute. Finally today I just kissed her but I do not want to do that.

Please be honest with the parents. Flat out tell them that you are unwilling to do this for the child so they can find someone who will. She has needs that you aren't able to meet.

[Tasha]

Yes, I'm going to have to have that uncomfortable conversation with DCM tomorrow. I dread it so much, but I just can't take many more meltdowns. I hope she understands.

[Cradle2crayons]

Please be honest with the parents. Flat out tell them that you are unwilling to do this for the child so they can find someone who will. She has needs that you aren't able to meet.

I disagree. I don't think not doing a home routine for each specific dck necessarily means the OP isn't able to meet the needs of the child.

It's more about what is... And what isn't.... Appropriate in a group care environment. And also, that the OP isn't able to conform her program to a routine the parents aren't willing to assist with changing.

Good luck OP speaking with the parents... I hope they understand the problem instead of minimizing it.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I disagree. I don't think not doing a home routine for each specific dck necessarily means the OP isn't able to meet the needs of the child.

It's more about what is... And what isn't.... Appropriate in a group care environment. And also, that the OP isn't able to conform her program to a routine the parents aren't willing to assist with changing.

Good luck OP speaking with the parents... I hope they understand the problem instead of minimizing it.

As a parent, I'd be weirded out by a new provider kissing my child. But, I guess that's just me. Today's parenting generation with a phobia of all germs and entitlement issues truly baffles me (although, no phobia of germs here if she wants you to kiss her child..).

[Kabob]

I just have to wonder how her behavior and "special" treatment make the other kids feel. If I did that in front of the kids here, they would question it or ask for kisses too. But that's my group...

I agree that she needs to learn the difference between daycare routine and home routine. Sure it's a quick fix to kiss her now but it doesn't teach her to self soothe and it makes you uncomfortable. You are not her mommy or nanny so it's very understandable if you don't want to do it or can't do it. I mean, if you don't give in to other crutches for sleep so why should this be any different?

So yeah, do what works for the group. Maybe have her learn cold turkey or "wean" her off the kisses. Definitely talk to dcm too.

[Sunshine74]

I know you said you tried with the stuffed animals, but what if you get DCM to bring (or buy) a special toy and then every morning before she leaves, gives the toy the kisses to "save" until nap time.

[hwichlaz]

I disagree. I don't think not doing a home routine for each specific dck necessarily means the OP isn't able to meet the needs of the child.

It's more about what is... And what isn't.... Appropriate in a group care environment. And also, that the OP isn't able to conform her program to a routine the parents aren't willing to assist with changing.

Good luck OP speaking with the parents... I hope they understand the problem instead of minimizing it.

This child NEEDS this to go to sleep easily. I'd kill for an easy nap fix for some of the kids I've had in the past, . She's not meeting this child's needs, and it's effecting how she meets the needs of the others. No one is getting their needed rest.

[hwichlaz]

I get that the routine is problematic for this particular provider, but I'm still trying to imagine how it would be okay on any level to tell parents to stop kissing their child good night so that she doesn't want good night kisses at daycare. This is the only forum that I've seen where so many providers wouldn't give non-mouth kisses to a little one if they wanted them. I think that, as long as there isn't a shortage in the area, that mom could easily find someone willing to take the few seconds that this little one needs to be nurtured to sleep.