Is Provider Honesty The Best Policy?

[Naptime yet?]

Me again, same issue.

So after listening to baby scream already because I had to strap her in the car seat to drive to the bus stop for my SAer because it's raining and god forbid I stop the car because we had to wait for the bus....

And because my blood pressure has risen and I feel shaky because listening to an infant scream for even 2 minutes is stressful for me and for the other kids in my care....

And because I can't do anything with the older kids because said baby needs more attention than I can give...

I've decided to part ways. My question is, I feel like I should be honest, but how honest? I want to tell dcps that I can't meet her needs, that she requires more attention than I can give as evidenced by her escalating to screaming. I want to tell them that I'm not enjoying taking care of her, it's more stressful for me than enjoyable.

I'm not going to give them the letter until next week so I can think about this. I know they will want an explanation, but how honest should I be?

Also, my contract states 2 week notice. Should I give the notice or say something like, I'll give it another two weeks, if she's still escalating to screaming, then the 2 weeks notice is effective then? I say this because maybe I haven't given her enough time to adjust?

I'm at a loss. There is also a sibling involved, so I would assume it's a package deal?

This is so hard for me, if it were horrible behavior, it would be much easier. And babies crying don't bother me, babies screaming (I'm not exaggerating, my SAer & dds have commented on it) are a whole 'nother issue.

Thank you again, forum friends!

[Second Home]

I'm not going to give them the letter until next week so I can think about this. I know they will want an explanation, but how honest should I be?
I do not think you should say that you can not meet her needs , but rather that it is just not working out or that it is a good fit.

Also, my contract states 2 week notice. Should I give the notice or say something like, I'll give it another two weeks, if she's still escalating to screaming, then the 2 weeks notice is effective then? It is totally up to you . Can you manage for 2 weeks and possibly 2 more? Also be prepared for them to leave after the 2 weeks ( or before), they may start looking even though you will give the baby more time to adjust. Infant spots are hard to find and they may leave as soon as they find another spot open.

I'm at a loss. There is also a sibling involved, so I would assume it's a package deal.Yes , you should be prepared for them to both leave if you tern the baby.

I answered your questions above in blue.

[coolconfidentme]

I feel your pain, I had a screamer & it's no fun. I just told the mom the baby needed more attention than I could give her & left it at that. She could fill in the blank any way she wanted to. I was mentally done.

[CraftyMom]

In the past I've given parents a potential two weeks. Where if things didn't get better in two weeks, then it was time to move on. Things didn't get better so I'm glad I did it that way, I don't think I could have taken ANOTHER two weeks on top of that two weeks!

[countrymom]

don't feel bad, some kids are just screamers and there is nothing you can do.

[KidGrind]

Honesty is the best policy. Honesty doesn’t mean giving specifics or too much information.

I am unable to meet DCB’s needs due to the needs of the group and my sanity.

[Blackcat31]

Personally, I would be absolutely honest.

Then depending on my relationship with the parents, I may try to work with them.

I've been in the same situation before. Once I outright termed just to be done with the whole thing. I was exhausted.

The other time, I sat down and worked WITH the parents. It took almost 6 months but we made it and I kept the family....still have them.

What you do is up to you.... because only YOU know the family and which option is going to work best...and whether or not you want to risk losing them or not.

As far as honesty goes though.... I am always honest. HOW honest depends on whether or not I feel the family would benefit from my honesty. If not, I try to just be factual and make it quick...like ripping off a Band-aide.

As for the two week notice....that is also dependent on what you decide to do. If you are going to just be done with the whole family, I'd just be done.

Continuing to care for a screaming baby that raises your blood pressure is NOT healthy for you or anyone in your care. It's like walking on ice.

If it is really that bad, you need to term immediately.

[Naptime yet?]

One more question

Being it's the baby & not the sibling, how would I word that it IS a package deal? That it would be awkward to not care for them both?

I'm only asking because I could potentially see them wanting to keep the older child here. Honestly, I would want them both to go for reasons the dcps wouldn't understand & I won't go into.

[mountainside13]

Wow! That sounds so stressful!!! If you term the baby then I would except the older child to leave too. Personally as a parent I wouldn't want my children going to 2 separate daycares. If really want to try to make it work with the baby and "power through" I would suggest babywearing. Then the baby isn't crying all day upsetting you and the other children. It will also help you get things done. If your interested I can help with questions or guide you to a great FB page that is great! Just a thought.

[Unregistered]

Less is better in this case if you wish not to care for the older child as well. I would avoid going into detail as to the why for the termination them.

Something along the lines of:

Thank you for the opportunity of providing care for ______ and _______. Unfortunately I must give notice that April ______, will be the last day of care provided for you family. I wish you and your family all the best in your continued search for a childcare setting that best matches the care needed for your children.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Wow! That sounds so stressful!!! If you term the baby then I would except the older child to leave too. Personally as a parent I wouldn't want my children going to 2 separate daycares. If really want to try to make it work with the baby and "power through" I would suggest babywearing. Then the baby isn't crying all day upsetting you and the other children. It will also help you get things done. If your interested I can help with questions or guide you to a great FB page that is great! Just a thought.

While I am a babywearing mom for my HIGH NEEDS 6-month-old ...there have been many providers say it wouldn't be practical for them/they do not want to/etc. To each their own on that topic. . I know my baby would flunk out of daycare in a hot minute because of her neediness but i am her mom so I make do the best I can (which includes being in an ergo or baby ktan often!).

If baby is making you dread work days then baby needs to go to another daycare. I would be honest about the screaming being difficult to hear so often to everyone in the group.

[Blackcat31]

Being it's the baby & not the sibling, how would I word that it IS a package deal? That it would be awkward to not care for them both?

I'm only asking because I could potentially see them wanting to keep the older child here. Honestly, I would want them both to go for reasons the dcps wouldn't understand & I won't go into.

So you DO want them BOTH to go?

If that is the case, I would just do what you gotta do.

I will gladly help you construct a letter to them. Just PM me what info you want included (last day of care, final amount due, if any and any other info that you might want included) and I will see what I can come up with.

[mountainside13]

While I am a babywearing mom for my HIGH NEEDS 6-month-old ...there have been many providers say it wouldn't be practical for them/they do not want to/etc. To each their own on that topic. . I know my baby would flunk out of daycare in a hot minute because of her neediness but i am her mom so I make do the best I can (which includes being in an ergo or baby ktan often!).

If baby is making you dread work days then baby needs to go to another daycare. I would be honest about the screaming being difficult to hear so often to everyone in the group.

I agree it's not for everyone! A lot of providers don't do it and don't want too! I don't blame them I started just with my son after his surgery. One day my youngest daycare kid was teething (actual teething! : I put her in the Boba and made the day so much easier! I only bring it out and difficult days!

[Annalee]

Me again, same issue.

So after listening to baby scream already because I had to strap her in the car seat to drive to the bus stop for my SAer because it's raining and god forbid I stop the car because we had to wait for the bus....

And because my blood pressure has risen and I feel shaky because listening to an infant scream for even 2 minutes is stressful for me and for the other kids in my care....

And because I can't do anything with the older kids because said baby needs more attention than I can give...

I've decided to part ways. My question is, I feel like I should be honest, but how honest? I want to tell dcps that I can't meet her needs, that she requires more attention than I can give as evidenced by her escalating to screaming. I want to tell them that I'm not enjoying taking care of her, it's more stressful for me than enjoyable.

I'm not going to give them the letter until next week so I can think about this. I know they will want an explanation, but how honest should I be?

Also, my contract states 2 week notice. Should I give the notice or say something like, I'll give it another two weeks, if she's still escalating to screaming, then the 2 weeks notice is effective then? I say this because maybe I haven't given her enough time to adjust?

I'm at a loss. There is also a sibling involved, so I would assume it's a package deal?

This is so hard for me, if it were horrible behavior, it would be much easier. And babies crying don't bother me, babies screaming (I'm not exaggerating, my SAer & dds have commented on it) are a whole 'nother issue.

Thank you again, forum friends!

I feel in this case you should be completely honest...sugar coating will not help this situation. You need to do what is best for you! :hug:

Sometimes it is a "game" with parents and that is why we wear MANY hats..... There is always the parent where we learn quickly how/what/when to say to them..... What other job in America could we be Bookkeepers, psychologists, family counselor, marital counselor.....etc.

oh yeah, in our spare time, we are child care providers, too. ::

[My3cents]

Personally, I would be absolutely honest.

Then depending on my relationship with the parents, I may try to work with them.

I've been in the same situation before. Once I outright termed just to be done with the whole thing. I was exhausted.

The other time, I sat down and worked WITH the parents. It took almost 6 months but we made it and I kept the family....still have them.

What you do is up to you.... because only YOU know the family and which option is going to work best...and whether or not you want to risk losing them or not.

As far as honesty goes though.... I am always honest. HOW honest depends on whether or not I feel the family would benefit from my honesty. If not, I try to just be factual and make it quick...like ripping off a Band-aide.

As for the two week notice....that is also dependent on what you decide to do. If you are going to just be done with the whole family, I'd just be done.

Continuing to care for a screaming baby that raises your blood pressure is NOT healthy for you or anyone in your care. It's like walking on ice.

If it is really that bad, you need to term immediately.

all the way~