Do Your Daycare Kids Act Out at Pickup?

[MARSTELAC]

NannyDe: is your "Buh Bye Outside" program written somewhere in your contract? I need it! I know having such a policy will totally p*%s off a few of my parents but I can see how that will correct the problem.....

[kidkair]

Nan - I like a lot of what you said.
I have the problem of ALL of the kids acting up whenever ANYONE enters the home.
Now - seeing how it is NOT an option to completely stop people from entering my home (it just isn't - take me at my word) what would you suggest I do to keep the group from acting up and getting really rambunctious while I'm taking the five minutes that I need to have a conversation?
I'm very curious to hear your thoughts on this because I am at my wits end to be honest.

I also have a problem that when my afterschool kids get here the energy level of the entire group sky rockets and I almost lose control of everything.

When my kids start getting too rambunctious because someone is here I have them all sit down. They can still talk and play with the toys in their hands but they all need to be on their butt. I remind them of proper behavior then turn my attention to the person whom I need to have a conversation with. I would do the same thing with the SA kids come. I'd have everyone sit including the SAs and do a welcome back circle time or something to integrate proper behaviors and allow everyone to say hi.

[Unregistered]

It's bizaare

I have a couple daycare kids that totally pull a "Sybil" when their parents arrive to pick them up. As long as I make sure that the child can still see me, then I am almost always able to keep the child in check by giving "the look" and then the child knows that I mean business. I want the children and parents to be out in the least amount of time possible, and if the child is freaking out and arguing with the parents or trying to run off, then that can't happen. I just make sure that the child has eye contact with me and I remind the child that it's time to go.

[SimpleMom]

I do a lot like KidKair for both my early childhood group and my school agers.

[DancingQueen]

I love that but my 18-28 months old won't sit when I tell them to - and I'd spend the next 10 minutes continually putting them back into a sitting position.

I remind them of proper behavior then turn my attention to the person whom I need to have a conversation with.

[kidkair]

I'd put them in separate playpens then. My kids learn quickly to do as I instruct them to do. It's helpful that I do following directions stuff with them daily and the younger ones follow their peers. I've had a 10 month old be able to sit when I asked everyone to sit down. Also there is no way I would have them sit there for 10 minutes. I would say three would be my max. Generally after a minute I pause my conversation and let the kids return to free play if they were all sitting nicely. Then I continue my conversation and the kids remember to be quiet.

[sahm2three]

I am lucky enough to care for the best little group of children...honestly, they are all so well-behaved all day long. But ALL of the kids I have ever watched act completely horrible the minute their mom or dad arrives to pick them up...having tantrums, throwing things, you name it. It's like someone flicked a switch. I don't understand the psychology of this, but someone told me once that it's as if they are letting mom and dad have it for being gone all day. But it almost feels manipulative too, because I think they know that I'm not going to really correct them with their parent here. It is so hard for the parents and I cannot think of a way to fix this. I just wondered if anyone else experiences this phenomena!

I do correct the kids even when parents are here. They are still in my house! If parents are doing a good job of handling it, then I stay out of it, but if the parent is being wishy washy with discipline, I will step in. Also, we have a prize box. The kids all live for the prize box. They never let me forget it. So, they know they have to behave in order to choose something out of the prize box. I don't reward them with it until they have their shoes and coats on and they are ready to head out the door. I have even gone as far as take the prize back if mom/dad continue to visit and child acts up after getting their prize. I tell them I will hold on to it for them and they can try again tomorrow. Not sure what it is about, but most kids act out when parents come. Weird, right?

[Unregistered]

Acting out at pick up time

I read all your responses and I am so happy to hear it's not just me. I have a 2 yr old I watch and he is a devil when mommy picks him up. He knows not to walk in my home with shoes, but does it anyways. Mom just says oh no you shouldn't do that and continues talking. He goes crazy unpacking his bag, grabbing his sippy and dripping it all over the floor, opening and closing things, pulling on mom's clothes, grabbing things and throwing them on the floor. I give him the look and he just looks at mom and laughs.

She is a chatter box and constantly says at drop off and pick up times, oh we should go, because it is confusing you. Well use your own advice and do it please. She is not clueing in. She caters to him at home to much....if he doesn't want to eat his dinner, then she makes him something else to eat. He is clinging to his mom at drop off and crying, but she puts on the my poor baby face and picks him up again or has another goodbye. I like the idea of buh bye outside.

I will try it tonight for sure. I can't stand it when he does this. But my other dilema is during our day he isolates himself. He just stands in one spot and stares. He doesn't talk at all. He constantly breathes like he is going to cry when I ask him something or tell him to play. He will not do anything until I ask him too. Extremely frustrating. Especially when we are doing crafts or just playing around. He cries when he is pulled in. But when mom gets to the door he is sooooo hyper and chatty and smiles and getting into mischief. Huh? Don't get it all. It is getting to the point where I am not sure I even want him here anymore because of this silly behaviour.

My 2 yr old daughter doesn't even want to play with him anymore because of all the crying he does and just standing there. She is so polite to him and hugging him, but now she looks at him and says shhhh when he starts to do the crying breathing again. It happens all day long. He is delayed \i think. He is just over 2 and he doesn't run. He still walks like he is a year and the way he picks small things up. Speaking, nope, he screams his head off when we r going for walks. If he walks more than 2 minutes he pulls the stroller or drops to the ground crying. People walk by and all the say is ohhhhh look at that sad face, sorry but I am thinking oh yah that poor face , whatever, I don't want to see it anymore.

I have never thought of this before towards any of my daycare children. What is so wrong with this boy? The control thing sure fits into it as well from stories I hear from mom. It's only her he throws fits with. Hitting, biting, tantrums, screaming. Help, need some good advice.

[caligirl]

I am lucky enough to care for the best little group of children...honestly, they are all so well-behaved all day long. But ALL of the kids I have ever watched act completely horrible the minute their mom or dad arrives to pick them up...having tantrums, throwing things, you name it. It's like someone flicked a switch. I don't understand the psychology of this, but someone told me once that it's as if they are letting mom and dad have it for being gone all day. But it almost feels manipulative too, because I think they know that I'm not going to really correct them with their parent here. It is so hard for the parents and I cannot think of a way to fix this. I just wondered if anyone else experiences this phenomena!

Yep. Yep. Yep. It's a switch. I see it here daily......well, not with ALL of them, but certain kids..... they are perfect little angels all day and mom walks in and I think 'huh? where did THIS child come from?''

[daycare]

not since the nannyde bye bye outside program...

New rule..
If ya wanna save the drama for your mama, gonna have to do it outside....

[Unregistered]

I am lucky enough to care for the best little group of children...honestly, they are all so well-behaved all day long. But ALL of the kids I have ever watched act completely horrible the minute their mom or dad arrives to pick them up...having tantrums, throwing things, you name it. It's like someone flicked a switch. I don't understand the psychology of this, but someone told me once that it's as if they are letting mom and dad have it for being gone all day. But it almost feels manipulative too, because I think they know that I'm not going to really correct them with their parent here. It is so hard for the parents and I cannot think of a way to fix this. I just wondered if anyone else experiences this phenomena!

Yup my DCB acts out not with me but with his parents. I do drop off and picks ups at the door but for example Mom will tell him to come inside he will tell her no it drives me crazy because he doesnt tell me no. In the afternoons at pick ups Mom likes to chat child will run for the street even thou he knows better, throw leaves on my porch after I swept it, touch my decorations outside even thou he knows better, Mom will say its time to go he will whine and say no even thou I know that he knows better because he doesnt do it when Mom isnt here Im tired of watching it and try to make pick ups and drop off quick without seeming rude.

[renodeb]

Yes! everyday. I have a 2 y/o who throughs him self down on the floor almost every day right when mom walks in. Sometime he starts crying as if he is over come with emotion. Hes kinda high strung like that any ways so its hard. I do step in if there mis behaving b/c I kinda feel like if there still in my house there still my responcibility (in a way). I try to kinda hand each child off to there parents all ready to go with shoes on atleast. I have even held there hand all the way to the gate by the front door. It does take some training but with some time kids can learn to behave at pickups. I think it is manipulative behavior to a degree.
I have one girl (4 y/o) that grabs onto her moms clothes, jewlery, what ever she can grab every morning she comes. I have started steppinging in b/c its become a habit with her. This same girl is whinny at pickups, she usually leaves first out of the group (moms a teacher) and she wakes up real sleepy and whiny. What ages are your dc kids?
Maybe you need to post a notice about behavior at pickups and ask the parents to take there child by the hand to there cars.
Debbie

[iheartkids]

Gosh, I guess I don't think too "deeply" about it. I don't think there is any psycological reason as far as "power" and "control". I just think of it as the child can't control their excitement to see mom and dad, they're upset if you are doing something fun and they have to leave, they're deflating from the stimulation of daycare, and they want their parents attention and this "production" gets it for them. I remember doing this as a TEENAGER after spending the night at a friends house. I would come home and just be a BEAR to my parents. And my DD does the exact same thing when she comes home from a friends house.
If we are around snack time when they get picked up a simple, "want a cracker for the road?" usually gets them out quietly. If the parent is hanging around chatting and the kids are acting up I do correct them in front of the parent because it embarrasses them and kicks them into the "parent gear" so that they will start correcting them. If you let them jump on your couch while they are here then they will think you let them jump on it while they are gone. Kids always want attention...that's the bottom line.

[VanessaEO]

I guess that is where I'm different. If my kids acted out at pickup, I "would" correct them. They are still in my home, in my care until they step out that door on the way to the car, and I shut the door.

All of mine are babie, but one, so I don't have any of that yet, but yes, I would correct them.

I do too. I correct them until they are basically in their parents' car.

I have parents that very seriously let their 2-3-4 year old walk all over them. I don't have to stand for it. Most of the time, I honestly believe that the parents are actually grateful for my willingness to intervene.

[Unregistered]

My 1 yr old,

so heres the thing my lil girl never had probs at pick up or drop off until i had to go out to sea for 3 weeks and lost our spot in her daycare so we instead use an inhome daycare and she throws the bigest fit ever at drop off clinging to me and crying her hart out, but as soon as i'm gone she calms down and plays with the other kids i know this because when i pick her up i'll watch her play and have fun through the door its just like a light switch the second she sees me full on waterworks assult happens and she acts as if she has been crying the entire time i was gone, now heres the tricky she does not do it in a actual daycare (one day our lady was sick so i called her old daycare and got a dropin rate for the day) NOT a SINGLE prob at drop off or pick up. but she acts the same way at her dads freaks out at drop off and pick up.