I Really Am Not A Liar...Sorry To Vent

[Laurel]

I agree with not giving the parents so much information. Only if it is an ongoing or serious issue.

Laurel

[cheerfuldom]

I find with parents like this, that I just stop giving them all the information- just short and sweet, and only talk in depth if there is a real issue. They are aware of what is going on, but don't want to hear it, which is why they are giving you the line that it isn't happening at home. I truly believe they are not being truthful to you, and these behaviors are likely to be happening at home. Blandino's explanation is great.
Your idea of 30 days is great, too. Give it a try, and if things don't improve, move on. All you can do is try your best.

agree! only I would give it only two more weeks. thats a full month in your care. why put everyone thru even more stress. There is only so much you can do with a baby and she may just be crying for her mom. Its pretty rare that a young infant thrives in daycare.....we are born to need and crave our mothers and plopping down a child for a long separation from mom is not natural. I dont take infants anymore but if I did, I would hold out for one that wasnt a screamer, which is pretty hard to find, especially when the parents are not helping the situation

[Cradle2crayons]

Thank you, everyone, I do switch her around, try tummy time, etc., talk to her in quiet tones...It is a wanting to be held issue and DCM is fully aware I cannot hold baby all day. She's just like, "well, let her cry" & I said, she escalates to SCREAMING, that's the issue.

The diaper changing thing gets me, I think baby thinks I'm going to hold her, then when I put her down to change her diaper the screaming begins. I let my licensing person know because I'm paranoid things could go south & I'll be accused of abuse.

I've only been giving dcps daily reports so if I term they'll know why. Plus dcd drops off/picks up & according to mom, he's clueless (I don't think he knows the word "no"). I did ask mom for suggestions last week, if there was anything else I could try to calm baby. Swaddling is helping her to sleep, but I can't keep her swaddled all day (baby burrito!). DCM did look at me like I was crazy when I told her baby screams & I just chuckled to myself. Sorry, but baby girl isn't the sweetest most perfect angel baby.

Ahhhh...come on Saturday!

I had a dcb like that once. And yes, I really think he thought I was picking him up and then when I laid him down for a diaper change he did the same thing. It passed quickly though.

[Unregistered]

I would give it a go for 2 more weeks while letting parents know, but not in great detail what is going on. If they still insist she is not like that at home, then I would use that. I would let them know that if she was the same at home and daycare, then you would chalk it up to her personality, but since it is only happening at daycare, then this is just not the right fit/environment for her. Wish them well on having her adjust better into a different environment more suited to her.

[Laurel]

I would give it a go for 2 more weeks while letting parents know, but not in great detail what is going on. If they still insist she is not like that at home, then I would use that. I would let them know that if she was the same at home and daycare, then you would chalk it up to her personality, but since it is only happening at daycare, then this is just not the right fit/environment for her. Wish them well on having her adjust better into a different environment more suited to her.

I had one that I told them that I would try my best but if things didn't work out then I couldn't watch him anymore. Things did work out and pretty quickly. I just think they really weren't trying to solve the problem at home very hard. Telling them this was a wake up call for them and they got on board. If they wouldn't have...oh well. Best thing I ever did.

Laurel

[My3cents]

I feel like one of my dcfs thinks I'm lying about their baby.

Sorry to be redundant, but it's my new baby, every time I bring something up, they negate it with the "But at home"...

I've told them it can be hard to get a part-time infant on a schedule (dcd said, "I could see that"), or used to daycare, unfamiliar surroundings, etc., that this is not HOME, baby will act differently here, etc. (I admit, if it weren't for the advice on my screaming baby thread I would be hitting the whiskey hard every night---JK!).

Now baby screams at me when I change her diaper (I told dcd, he said, "That's odd, she loves diaper changes AT HOME"). It makes me feel like I'm molesting her, I thought maybe the wipes were irritating her, tried damp paper towels, she wasn't rashy or red, I think she just doesn't want me to put her down. I put diaper cream on her at every diaper change, just to be sure.

I'm documenting her days, when she naps, eats, & screams. My dh said to me tonight, if someone needs full time care, take it & let baby & big brother go. He's already tired of the screaming from baby (we're on week 2) & dcb plays the crying card most mornings at drop-off (he was full time until a few weeks ago, but he's played the card alot).

I'm at a loss. My licensing specialist is actually trying to help me with this, which makes me feel even more like a loser, I'm being beat down by an almost 9 week old.

I'm currently on the 30 day plan. I think that's fair, my other PT screaming baby is doing great, so if this baby doesn't shape up in 30 days, good bye. And that's part of the reason I'm keeping a log, so I can tell mom & dad, "Your baby doesn't like me, I tried..." (this baby likes me to hold her where she's supported by my arm, but face down, so she sees the floor--I told dcd that she doesn't even like to see my face!---I do talk to her & make happy faces, but she's happiest face down)

The funny thing is, this family went PT because they "couldn't afford daycare for 2 kids", yet grandmom could watch kids for free, but dcm has a problem with her. Plus, with the new addition to the house & the new car...

Vent over, I feel better. My family is sick of hearing me complain, I guess that's the joy of writing/typing, it's selfish, I can't see anyone rolling their eyes & thinking to themselves "here she goes again".

PS: I really do applaud those of you who have more than 2 under 2 and can deal with it, I'm thinking the older I get the more my patience begins to trickle away...

two things stand out to me
part time- very hard
you have only had the child two weeks-
I feel infants do best with the security of full time placement. They crave their moms. It is their sole job as an infant and natural. When you have a baby full time, you take on that Mom role to the infant and the bonding happens. Its hard when older kids are shuffled-
Your family could use a little understanding- this is your job, this is what you do. When you do daycare in your home, if you don't have that support and understanding from your family your in for a long haul...and most likely will not make it or you will and be very miserable- Miserable me, makes for miserable others- just the nature of the beast I suppose.

I am an eye roller........but I have big eyes in my defense that speak. LOL I have to tone them down when I talk to others....I have been told I roll my eyes when I don't even know I am doing it.........not in a googly eye sense either- just my character. That is my issue- not yours. Never be afraid to vent, share etc..... no one is going to agree with you 100% of the time, you never know when your going to be valuable to someone else.

I wish you luck with your baby. I agree with others that have said do what you do at your place and don't worry about what is happening at home or not happening. I feel you need to give it time or know yourself and term and move on. Both are ok! Do what is best for you and your family. lovethis

[JoseyJo]

Maybe I'm weird on this one- but the next time the "she doesn't like it when I change her diapers" convo comes up and DCM says the loves it at home I would ask her to change one for me right then so you can see what she does different.

Either DCG will fuss and you will know dcm is lying
or
DCM will do it the same as you and dcg wont fuss so you will know it's just that you aren't mom and dcg should eventually be fine w/ you
or
DCM will do it totally different than you and you can either do it like she does (if allowed) or at least be able to explain to DCM that you do it different because of licensing and DCG will eventually get used to it

Any of those options would solve the problem I would think.

[kitykids3]

I just had one of these. She is 4.5 months right now but from 6 weeks til about 14 weeks she cried and cried whenever she was put down and would not sleep in crib. I had warned mom before she gave birth that she would not be held here all day or be able to sleep any way other than on her back in the crib.
Anyways, come to find out mom was holding her a lot and sleeping with her. I just made continuous comments on how she wasnt sleeping unless being held and one day told her that I was having to let her cry cuz I can't hold her all day, literally, because of my bad discs and arthritis in my back and knees. I made the comments as hints that I hope mom started realizing because she would start telling me she wasnt holding her as much, etc. Plus I had mom start bringing gas drops. Now she is content to lay on floor independently and I can put her in her crib and she falls asleep there.
I think some of it was just her growing up a little. There were times I wanted to term cuz I understand your frustration of non stop crying. With yours only being part time that makes it harder. You could wait it out and see if she outgrows it or decided to term. Obviously it doesn't sound like the parents care too much, but with only being 9 weeks, lo is still pretty young. I've rarely had a baby that young not want to be held. Perhaps have a conference and see if they are willing to actually work on it at home or give them a couple weeks and be done.

[mountainside13]

Maybe I'm weird on this one- but the next time the "she doesn't like it when I change her diapers" convo comes up and DCM says the loves it at home I would ask her to change one for me right then so you can see what she does different.

Either DCG will fuss and you will know dcm is lying
or
DCM will do it the same as you and dcg wont fuss so you will know it's just that you aren't mom and dcg should eventually be fine w/ you
or
DCM will do it totally different than you and you can either do it like she does (if allowed) or at least be able to explain to DCM that you do it different because of licensing and DCG will eventually get used to it

Any of those options would solve the problem I would think.

Haha! I love that idea!!!

[TwinKristi]

I have he opposite problem. All of my parents tell me all the bad things heir kids do at home and I :confused: look at them...

For instance,,,
Mom of dcb 9 months (brother to special heart dcg ) ::::"miss Lynn does CJ cry all the time here?"
Me: "CJ never cries here"
Mom: " I know every time I drop him off and pick him up he's so happy but all he does is cry at home"
Me:: :confused::confused:


Mom of three sibling set
"How come they don't throw fits at your house but I can't even go to the store without an issue"
Me:: " because they know it isn't allowed here"

BINGO!! This is what happens here all the time! My dh was even irritated that DCBs gma said at drop off that I get the good, happy DCB and she gets the fussy, grumpy DCB. He eats well, sleeps well, plays independently... but not at home!

Maybe I'm weird on this one- but the next time the "she doesn't like it when I change her diapers" convo comes up and DCM says the loves it at home I would ask her to change one for me right then so you can see what she does different.

Either DCG will fuss and you will know dcm is lying
or
DCM will do it the same as you and dcg wont fuss so you will know it's just that you aren't mom and dcg should eventually be fine w/ you
or
DCM will do it totally different than you and you can either do it like she does (if allowed) or at least be able to explain to DCM that you do it different because of licensing and DCG will eventually get used to it

Any of those options would solve the problem I would think.

good idea!!

[Atroya]

I have the exact same baby...and then some! She cries if not held, the mad, screaming crying. She spits up/vomits like a volcano if not fed sitting straight up and burped 20 times during feeding(making feeding a 45min ordeal), and even at that, still spits up a lot. She has a hard time breathing through her nose(dcm says that Dr. says she will grow out of that) so have to hear her "snorts" all the time when she is not screaming.

I have also only had her for about 2 weeks. She is now 8 weeks old. I am loosing sleep at night because just thinking about how bad the next day is going to be is stressing me too much.

This is the same family that is trying to force their 2.5 yr old dcg to potty train when she is physically, but not emotionally ready(they attempted to do this during dcm's maternity leave..dcm had this goal in mind months ago..to heck with whether dcg is ready or not) Dcm is getting upset with me for not doing more to help with the process. I told her NO underwear until she can come and tell me without being prompted..and after almost 2 months of dcm trying to train her, she is getting nowhere fast..dcg is training mom and dad. LOL. I even gave them nannyde's potty training letter...and dcm proceeded to do the opposite of what was suggested on there.

I cannot term them right now(I would so much love to) because they are my main source of income until the SA kids are out for summer. Maybe by then things will be better....

I am desperately looking for a job, cannot do this anymore. So desperate that I am thinking about working at that McDonalds down the road. LOL...but that would be like babysitting a bunch of teenagers, trying to get them to do their jobs.