Am I Overreacting?

[Oss_cc]

Yes! Especially # 1! I Have a new kid who is driving me crazy. First to get dropped off and last to leave. Dad picks son up at 3:15 at the elementary school then doesn't pick up his daughter here till 5:00. All kids have been gone for 30 minutes. She is here over 9.5 hours per day. I am mentally drained at the end of tell day because she talks nonstop.

Yep! And sad if she knows her brother is home with dad. :/ that was tough for me because I couldn't say "sorry, mommy is at work" like I can when the other DCKs miss their parents. They usually don't, but she did more than any other kid. I honestly think it was because she knew mommy wasn't anywhere she *had* to be. :/

[Oss_cc]

Thanks for all the responses. I just wanted to know what others thought. I just wish parents would ask first before assuming I have kids here all day and nothing better to do. Most of the time I don't care but this particular day she knew her kids were the only ones here past 12:30 and she still kept them here.

I know I need to build a 'backbone' and stick up for myself in this industry as no one else is going to but this is the part I struggle with the most.

That's the tough part! I know a lot of providers won't provide care if only one family needs it, but considering I only have two full time families (siblings), I haven't implemented this myself. It's a good idea, though!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Thanks for all the responses. I just wanted to know what others thought. I just wish parents would ask first before assuming I have kids here all day and nothing better to do. Most of the time I don't care but this particular day she knew her kids were the only ones here past 12:30 and she still kept them here.

I know I need to build a 'backbone' and stick up for myself in this industry as no one else is going to but this is the part I struggle with the most.

Then tell her it is a halfday if you want it!

[e.j.]

I'm paid the same, regardless.

I don't care where the parent is as long as they drop off/pick up on time.

I hated the fact that my children were at daycare when I worked so I never even dropped by the grocery store before picking up my kids.

Same here. When my son was in day care, I picked him up early when I left work early and I kept him home with me anytime I wasn't working. Different strokes for different folks, though.

I look at it this way: I run a child care business and as long as the parent picks up, drops off and pays tuition on time, I don't consider it my business what they're doing within that time frame as long as I can reach them in an emergency.

I think it is acceptable to include a clause in your contract that states you will not watch children outside of work hours. You can pretty much include any policy you want as long as it's legal. The trick is getting parents to agree to it. You may (or may not) lose clients because of the no work/no care rule but if it's important to you, I would say include it. Just discuss it during interviews to make sure the parent understands and agrees to the policy.

[TwinKristi]

^^ this is pretty much my opinion exactly. As long as I can get ahold of them and they pickup and pay on time I don't really care what they're doing. But that's not for everyone. As someone else pointed out, a lot of their clients are W/SAHMs.

[craftymissbeth]

I used to care but now I try not to let it bother me. I base my rates on pick-up times to encourage parents to pick up earlier. So far all of my parents have chosen the earliest time they possibly can so they can save a few dollars a week. All of them come straight here after work. I don't have any dck's past 3:45 which is so nice... even if their parents are home a few days a week I at least get off pretty early, kwim?

[Play Care]

Yes! Especially # 1! I Have a new kid who is driving me crazy. First to get dropped off and last to leave. Dad picks son up at 3:15 at the elementary school then doesn't pick up his daughter here till 5:00. All kids have been gone for 30 minutes. She is here over 9.5 hours per day. I am mentally drained at the end of tell day because she talks nonstop.

I refuse to be open for ONE child. Yes, this is a business, but it doesn't make business sense. If my grocery store realized that they just had ONE customer after a certain hour, they would adjust their closing time accordingly. If I were you I'd either raise my rates for an after 4:30 pick up or let the one family know that as of x date you will be closing promptly at 4:30 as it's not financially feasible to be open for ONE family
This has nothing to do with your personal feelings, this is business.

[KidGrind]

You feel what you feel. You are entitled to your opinion.

Your contract dictates whether you are overreacting or not. Your interview process dictates whether or not you’re overreacting.

I interviewed a DCF with two working parents. One of the DCPs quit their job. DCK is here 5 days a week. DCP also complains if I schedule a closing and tries to bring her child on snow days.

Am I her biggest fan? No. I love, love, love the child. I get paid to take care of him. So it’s a win, win for me. If he was difficult maybe I would be in the same canoe as you.

[Meeko]

While it amazes me that today's parents seem to find it impossible to handle chores and kids at the same time.....and want to spend as little time with their offspring as humanly possible........I am open certain days and hours and they are free to use that time as long as they pay me and follow my policies.

[4bratzmum]

Soooo, I posted a similar thread last week and got so many great responses that really helped. My situation was a parent that was converting from 5 days to 3 days a week work schedule but still wanted to bring children all five days. Oh and the 3 days she worked, she wanted me to watch them outside my hours! Mom does not see the kids awake in her working days. :-( Why would she even want to bring them on her days off?

My two cents... I don't understand the parents that have these children and not want to have every moment possible with them. Not for me to understand... Yes, I get paid to do a job but that doesn't mean I agree. I guess it depends on your personal preferences and how you choose to run your daycare. I just gave my parents their ultimatum... Bring the children all five days at an increased rate or the 3 working days and pay remains the same or give two weeks notice. I am sorry that she needs her hair colored but if she wants after hours care, she will pay extra for it. :-)

Sorry for the rant. LOL This is a major pet peeve for me.

[Blackcat31]

This is where the thorough interview process has helped me out a lot.

I am a business. I am in this business to make money.

I try to enroll families that share the same parenting philosophy as I do.
That cuts down on the amount of "babysitting" I do.


Normally, I don't care if a parent contracts with me 5 days a week so they can go home and watch mold grow in their shower. That's on them.

Just so long as:


1.) Payment is on time
2.) Drop off/pick up is according to contract
3.) Follow policies


The only thing I will not do, is accept a parent simply leaving their child until close "because other kids are still here until then".

THAT is NOT acceptable and does not happen here.

Hence, the contracted hours. What parents do within their contracted hours is totally their call. Just abide by those 3 little rules and it's all good.

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

So I posted on Friday about my DCM who was getting off early and going to go shopping, etc. instead of coming to get her kids. My husband was at his sisters house and he was complaining to her about how he can't believe people who just don't come get their kids when they're not working. His mom was there as well and both of them couldn't believe he was getting upset about it. They see no problem with a mother getting off work at 3:00 and doing some shopping and going home to put the groceries away and then coming to get their kids at 5:15. (I close at 5:30.) They say she's getting paid for it.

So it got us thinking...are we overreacting about this? Is it the norm for parents to be able to leave their kids in DC as long as they want as long as they pick up before closing time?

To me this just drives me crazy! I have no problem working for parents when they are actually working but I do not want to be a babysitter while the mom is grocery shopping or whatever.

Also is it acceptable to put in a contract that I don't want to watch their children outside of their working hours especially without at least running it by me first? Any particular ways of wording this?

I do mind, and it does bother me. A lot. I don't understand it, and I certainly don't respect it. But.....................I won't be doing anything about it. Unless you do contracted hours, this is the way it will be. I continually have to remind myself that I can't control the DCFs desire to spend time with their kids, but I can control my reaction to said lack of desire (as in ignore it to the best of my ability).

When a DCM/DCD does tell me they've been shopping/golfing/cleaning/anything to avoid picking up, I say "how sad you had to do such and such and couldn't be with DCB/DCG." Then I give that DCB/DCG a big hug and tell them something that was special about them that day. Maybe DCM/DCD get the hint, maybe not. IDC. At least DCG/DCB feels *someone* wanted to hang out with them, even if they are being paid to do so.

[Tdhmom]

I'm so glad you've posted this. I need this advice today. I have an overnight child in first grade (same class as my son) and found out last night that dcm wasn't working, seen pics of her at the bar for st patty's day. I'm very upset and feel taken advantage of

[countrymom]

when I interview parents I tell them that I'm here to watch their children while they are at work. Now I do have some parents who sometimes have to do things after work, but they always let me know and I never have a problem with it.

you see, I had 2 moms who liked to leave their kids here all day. Mom #1 was a nurse, I knew here schedual and her husbands. At first they would pick up after work, then it was dropping off early and picking up late, then they also forgot to pick up their child several times. Then it was dropping him off so she can put a christmas tree, or crochet a project.

then mom#2 was suppose to be at school instead would go tanning or get her nails and hair done, again waiting till the last minute to pick up.

both parents suddenly gave me a hard time when I needed the day off, would complain all the time about their kids and would relay on others all the time to do the work instead of them.

thats when I had enough and the only way I was going to stop this self entitlement was for me to make parents responsible, one parent at a time. I find that I don't get angry anymore and my relationship with them are pretty good.

[MarinaVanessa]

So I posted on Friday about my DCM who was getting off early and going to go shopping, etc. instead of coming to get her kids. My husband was at his sisters house and he was complaining to her about how he can't believe people who just don't come get their kids when they're not working. His mom was there as well and both of them couldn't believe he was getting upset about it. They see no problem with a mother getting off work at 3:00 and doing some shopping and going home to put the groceries away and then coming to get their kids at 5:15. (I close at 5:30.) They say she's getting paid for it.

So it got us thinking...are we overreacting about this? Is it the norm for parents to be able to leave their kids in DC as long as they want as long as they pick up before closing time?

To me this just drives me crazy! I have no problem working for parents when they are actually working but I do not want to be a babysitter while the mom is grocery shopping or whatever.

Also is it acceptable to put in a contract that I don't want to watch their children outside of their working hours especially without at least running it by me first? Any particular ways of wording this?

What I find confusing and a little "have your cake and eat it too" is when providers charge for a child's scheduled hours and then get upset when parents want to "get their moneys worth" and leave their child until pick-up time even when they're not working.

I know providers that don't have that problem but they only charge their clients for the time they actually use. Their clients leave work and pick their kids up early when they have the chance because they can save money whereas my clients for example are charged a flat weekly rate and hardly ever pick up early because they paid for the spot so they feel (I assume) that they'd be wasting their money.

I also choose not to fight this battle. I prefer the consistent regular income than charge only for the hours that clients use and have an inconsistent income. Also, I personally wouldn't feel right charging clients a flat fee and require them to pick up early if they weren't working. I wouldn't feel right charging them and then not allowing them to use that time if they weren't working/at school.