Am I Overreacting?

[Cat Herder]

I have open to close hours and have accepted that I will have kids for almost every minute of it. It is the norm. All are here within 5 minutes of opening, like clockwork. I close at 6pm, first kid leaves at 5:45 (because mom freaks with too many cars in the driveway) last group (3 families) pulls out at 5:59.

All start out claiming an earlier pick-up time on their sign up forms (usually 4:30-5:00) , but that ends within the first month. Most claim "work hours changed", some are honest and say they like having child free time to complete tasks each afternoon, others never address it at all, just start coming later and later until last minute is the norm.

It does help my bottom line with an elevated time/space percentage.

One mom recently brought her kids on a day when no other kids were coming AND she was off work because she was excited her kids would have "special one on one time" with ME. Um, ok.... the kids prefer having bonding time with me when she is home for the day? This is new. Mom was giddy at "all the fun things the kids and you can do with no infants in care for the day". She was seriously excited, had the kids wound up, like is was a trip to a theme park. I am still breaking this one down a bit in my head...

I was educated that not every woman has children because they want CHILDREN, so I conclude that is why we see the things we see in child care.

[AmyLeigh]

What I find confusing and a little "have your cake and eat it too" is when providers charge for a child's scheduled hours and then get upset when parents want to "get their moneys worth" and leave their child until pick-up time even when they're not working.
I know providers that don't have that problem but they only charge their clients for the time they actually use. Their clients leave work and pick their kids up early when they have the chance because they can save money whereas my clients for example are charged a flat weekly rate and hardly ever pick up early because they paid for the spot so they feel (I assume) that they'd be wasting their money.

I also choose not to fight this battle. I prefer the consistent regular income than charge only for the hours that clients use and have an inconsistent income. Also, I personally wouldn't feel right charging clients a flat fee and require them to pick up early if they weren't working. I wouldn't feel right charging them and then not allowing them to use that time if they weren't working/at school.

[Play Care]

I think a big part of the issue is that there are many times the provider IS being taken advantage of - parents who claim they need later PU times or special hours (overnights, weekends) because of work, so the provider agrees to it, only to find the parent isn't working and the provider doesn't really need to be working.

This is one of the main reasons I will not, ever, ever, ever work evenings or weekends. It's why my hours are what they are and why I won't ever be open later for a family no matter what they claim the reason to be.

I think it's okay to tell clients "these hours are no longer working for me, so as of x date my hours will be x to x"

[melilley]

I do mind, and it does bother me. A lot. I don't understand it, and I certainly don't respect it. But.....................I won't be doing anything about it. Unless you do contracted hours, this is the way it will be. I continually have to remind myself that I can't control the DCFs desire to spend time with their kids, but I can control my reaction to said lack of desire (as in ignore it to the best of my ability).

.

This is me. I'm trying to get into the mindset that I shouldn't care, but it's hard, especially for one dcf. Their child is here every day dcm has off, even when his preschool aged brother is at home. They made Christmas cookies with grandma and guess who didn't get to participate or at least spend some extra time with family.
It's sad and like others have said they do pay for contracted hours here but it still bothers me. I guess I just don't get why they wouldn't want that extra time. It's like they don't like him, and he's an easy kid! I too try to push my feelings aside, but it's hard.

[Jack Sprat]

While it amazes me that today's parents seem to find it impossible to handle chores and kids at the same time.....and want to spend as little time with their offspring as humanly possible........I am open certain days and hours and they are free to use that time as long as they pay me and follow my policies.

I work on contracted hours and as long as I am paid I don't mind. I had one dcm tell me she couldn't handle going grocery shopping with her 3yr old, it was just too stressful. and went on to tell me she was exhausted after working six hours at Head Start and was going home to take a nap. So many sarcastic remarks floated through my head during that conversation.

[melilley]

While it amazes me that today's parents seem to find it impossible to handle chores and kids at the same time.....and want to spend as little time with their offspring as humanly possible........I am open certain days and hours and they are free to use that time as long as they pay me and follow my policies.

I wonder how we get anything done..it's a mystery! ::

[Blackcat31]

This is me. I'm trying to get into the mindset that I shouldn't care, but it's hard, especially for one dcf. Their child is here every day dcm has off, even when his preschool aged brother is at home. They made Christmas cookies with grandma and guess who didn't get to participate or at least spend some extra time with family.
It's sad and like others have said they do pay for contracted hours here but it still bothers me. I guess I just don't get why they wouldn't want that extra time. It's like they don't like him, and he's an easy kid! I too try to push my feelings aside, but it's hard.

It's not that you shouldn't care but you will save yourself a ton of grief and stress if you recognize and accept that not everyone holds the same values as you (general you) do.

People stress other people out when their behavior doesn't mirror what they would do in the same position. THAT is the root of why this subject bothers you.... You are applying YOUR philosophies and parenting values onto others.

Save yourself the time and stress and give yourself permission to accept the fact that ALL humans do what is best for them.

I know there are others out there who do not like cauliflower. I don't understand why and I definitely feel sorry for them in regards to what they are missing out on but I certainly don't stress about it or allow it to be MY problem.

^^^ Same concept.

[My3cents]

As a babysitter, I have NO issues with what a parent is doing while I am being paid to watch their child.

As a professional child care provider, I feel that my job is to provide care while a parent is working. If they want to take care of personal things (shopping, hair appts etc) then they can hire a babysitter for those times.

I know parents don't see the difference in those two things, but I do. I make sure I am clear about that when I interview so parents know NOT to leave their children from open to close with me. I feel it is disrespectful to treat a paid professional as a personal nanny service.

I don't know about disrespectful but I think it stinks for the kids, and is lazy, no parenting. but......you have to make this clear at interviews.

[TwinKristi]

It's not that you shouldn't care but you will save yourself a ton of grief and stress if you recognize and accept that not everyone holds the same values as you (general you) do.

People stress other people out when their behavior doesn't mirror what they would do in the same position. THAT is the root of why this subject bothers you.... You are applying YOUR philosophies and parenting values onto others.

Save yourself the time and stress and give yourself permission to accept the fact that ALL humans do what is best for them.

I know there are others out there who do not like cauliflower. I don't understand why and I definitely feel sorry for them in regards to what they are missing out on but I certainly don't stress about it or allow it to be MY problem.

^^^ Same concept.

This is really what it boils down to. Like the ear piercing thread. Just because you wouldn't do it for your child doesn't mean that's what the other parents think and its not our job to tell them how to parent, it's our job to provide quality care when we're paid and contracted to do so. As long as they pay, come within their contracted times and obey your rules than there's really nothing you can do but term and find a new family.

And it amazes me sometimes when parents just "Can't get anything done with their child home" yet we're expected to run our household, family, etc. with not only our own kids but several others! LOL :: I have had to go grocery shopping with 2 extra kids in the big Target shopping cart, I've had to take 2 extra kids to the dr with us when my dh couldn't take off work, I've had to clean my house with extra kids here. All the things people pay me to take care of their kids so they can do. It's like once they have a good provider and their child is happy they think it's a free pass to keep them there as long as they're happy and you're being paid.

One way to look at it, which I never did until a grandmother pointed it out, is that some parents may look at your home as a happier environment than their own home. When DCB is here and is happy, he's surrounded by other kids, happy adults and a clean home. Maybe their home life isn't like it is at our home. DCB eats better here, sleeps better here... even his early intervention case manager said it's like he's a different child here. I never looked at it that way until I put it all together. His mom is a single mom, they live with her mom, uncle and grandpa. They have people in their home for therapy so I'm guessing it can't be TOO bad, but I imagine it's on the messier side. I know there's boxes the nana hasn't touched in years that have her son's items who passed away like 15-16yrs ago at the age of 8 or 9. Everyone has a different point of view in this life and we don't know why they feel that way. Some people want to **** every last penny out of their dollar in your care, some truly feel you're a better provider than they are for their child, some are just too busy to be bothered with diapers and runny noses when shopping. :confused:

[DaisyMamma]

This.

You might want to consider contracted hours. I know there are a couple of providers that provide care based on work hours plus a reasonable commuting window.

I do try to find out what hours the parents work before they ask what my hours are. I then repeat what they tell me, oh so you need care from x time to x time? And that's what I write on their paperwork.
It irritates me that parents will get a day off and still send their kid, or get out early and go shop. But if it's during their contacted hours that I'm getting paid for I can't say anything, kwim?

Listen to this one.
I had a parent leave work early to go home and make a cake for some play her daughter was in that night. Mind you, the daughter was here with me and they live a mile away. How sad is that? Don't you think the dcg would have liked to help bake that cake? And to top it off the dcm picked her up with only enough time to get her straight to the school that evening -- sooooo, what? No dinner? Yep! No dinner.

[melilley]

It's not that you shouldn't care but you will save yourself a ton of grief and stress if you recognize and accept that not everyone holds the same values as you (general you) do.

People stress other people out when their behavior doesn't mirror what they would do in the same position. THAT is the root of why this subject bothers you.... You are applying YOUR philosophies and parenting values onto others.

Save yourself the time and stress and give yourself permission to accept the fact that ALL humans do what is best for them.

I know there are others out there who do not like cauliflower. I don't understand why and I definitely feel sorry for them in regards to what they are missing out on but I certainly don't stress about it or allow it to be MY problem.

^^^ Same concept.

I know, Bc, I know...it's just so darn hard for me to do, but I really am trying!

[Naptime yet?]

When I first started, I cared. Now, if a child gets picked up early, or doesn't come, I look at it as a bonus. Otherwise I assume everyone will be here for the full 10 hour day regardless of what the rest of the family is/isn't doing. Plus there are so many other things that drive me crazy, this has become inconsequential.

[SilverSabre25]

only thing that bugs me is if parents are LATE. also, if they are unwilling to keep sick kids home, etc.

otherwise....I don't care. I get paid. whatevs.

[Crazy8]

Yes, I do believe you are overreacting (since that was your actual question). You are saying the parent will still pick up 15 min. before their end time/your closing time and you are getting paid to care for the children until 5:30 whether she picks them up early or not. There are parents who will squeeze out every second of daycare that they can and it is sad for the children in those cases but imo, it is just not our place to say what a parent can and can not do during the hours they are contracted for care. And in the case of a mom just getting a little grocery shopping done before picking up the kids (and still being on time) I can't say I blame them, I longed for the times I could get to the grocery store by myself when my kids were little.

I gave up sweating that type of thing years ago and it has helped my stress level a great deal. I plan on working my usual 7:30-5:00 every day and if I get the "bonus" of an early day I just take full advantage and enjoy it!!

[hwichlaz]

I do contracted hours, and what the parents are doing is none of my business as long as I can get in touch with them if necessary.

THOUGH, I did terminated one family because the mom was getting off work early to go sleep with her boyfriend. She was married. I will NOT be used that way.