Am I Overreacting?

[MommaB3]

So I posted on Friday about my DCM who was getting off early and going to go shopping, etc. instead of coming to get her kids. My husband was at his sisters house and he was complaining to her about how he can't believe people who just don't come get their kids when they're not working. His mom was there as well and both of them couldn't believe he was getting upset about it. They see no problem with a mother getting off work at 3:00 and doing some shopping and going home to put the groceries away and then coming to get their kids at 5:15. (I close at 5:30.) They say she's getting paid for it.

So it got us thinking...are we overreacting about this? Is it the norm for parents to be able to leave their kids in DC as long as they want as long as they pick up before closing time?

To me this just drives me crazy! I have no problem working for parents when they are actually working but I do not want to be a babysitter while the mom is grocery shopping or whatever.

Also is it acceptable to put in a contract that I don't want to watch their children outside of their working hours especially without at least running it by me first? Any particular ways of wording this?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I think it is SAD for the kids that never get to get of of daycare early to spend time with their parents but this is not a battle I choose.

Drop your child off at opening time and pick up by pick-up time, please. That's all I ask for.

[Scribbles]

As a babysitter, I have NO issues with what a parent is doing while I am being paid to watch their child.

As a professional child care provider, I feel that my job is to provide care while a parent is working. If they want to take care of personal things (shopping, hair appts etc) then they can hire a babysitter for those times.

I know parents don't see the difference in those two things, but I do. I make sure I am clear about that when I interview so parents know NOT to leave their children from open to close with me. I feel it is disrespectful to treat a paid professional as a personal nanny service.

[Meyou]

I think it is SAD for the kids that never get to get of of daycare early to spend time with their parents but this is not a battle I choose.

Drop your child off at opening time and pick up by pick-up time, please. That's all I ask for.

This.

You might want to consider contracted hours. I know there are a couple of providers that provide care based on work hours plus a reasonable commuting window.

[Unregistered]

I don't mind.

It doesn't really bother me. I get that its easier to run errands without kids. When I was working, I remember having no time to do stuff like that, and I found it extremely difficult to do anything with my kids. If I can make the lives of my parents easier, and it doesn't really affect me, I will.

That said, I had a family last year. DCD was in construction and got laid off for the season. He brought his kid every single day. First drop off, last pick up. Even on her birthday. THAT bothered me. And if it wasn't for the fact that she was going on mat leave and leaving anyway, I would have insisted on a early pick up.

[Play Care]

It depends.
Is the mom late for scheduled pick up? Does she send the child in with "iffy" health because she doesn't have time? Is the child poorly behaved? Does mom give me a hard time about being off?

If the answer was no, I probably wouldn't mind. If the answer to any of the above was yes, I would have a firm talk with the parent and move to replace.

I set my closing time at 4:45 so I tend to be more relaxed about it - mostly because I'm not losing out on family time due to a later closure.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I have some non-working moms who bring their children here ONLY for socialization and so they can have some personal time. I'd be out about $400 a week if I subscribed to the "only when at work" theory. I have 2 more parents that work from home, and that's another $350 a week I'd lose. Personally, I am open 730 to 530, and if the child is here those hours, then they're here. I don't worry about where parents are or what they are doing. But that's me. I do understand your frustration though.

So if a parent wanted to enroll and did not work, would you really turn them away? Just curious.....

[Heidi]

I have contracted hours, so as long as they come and go within that time, I'm fine with it.

Occasionally, I have a parent who asks "can my child stay a little late so I can....". Sure..if it works for me. Do I think my dcm really wants to take an 8 month old baby to the vet along with her 90 pound bulldog? Probably not. How about when she gets her hair colored and cut once every 8 weeks? No...he'd scream his bloody head off half way in, and she's a single mom with no family close by. I don't mind. She has always asked.

My other dcm picks up at noon on Fridays, but on a Friday when they were going out of town, I let dcg stay late (during nap time) so mom could go home and pack. What's the difference to me?

On the other hand, this is the same mom that takes days off here and there just so she can spend a day with her baby, because she misses him.

My worst behaved dck's were here every contracted hour no matter what. Days off, they were here. Why? Because they were just ill-behaved children,their own mom didn't want to spend time with them....hence, they were ill behaved.

I guess it's about balance, providing good customer service, and communicating.

[cara041083]

I am on the fence about this one. I have a mom that will keep her kids home (and still pay for the spot) but will get off early and get her stuff done before coming to get her kids at 4. So I guess it just depends on the person. I for one have left my kids at daycare long enough to go to the store but I never went home first before getting them and that was when my husband traveled and I had 3 kids to drag along with me. Now if a parent is just bringing them and then going and doing there own thing everyday, then that I have a problem with. I actually termed a family that only worked 1 day a week and brought there daughter to me all the other days. So I can see both sides

[taylorw1210]

I'm here to offer children a safe and enriching environment - whether the parent is at work or not is not really my business. As long as they follow my policies, have their priorities straight (don't bring a sick kid so they can go shopping or have personal time, etc.), and drop off/pick up as contracted then I don't really care what they do.

[sharlan]

I'm paid the same, regardless.

I don't care where the parent is as long as they drop off/pick up on time.

I hated the fact that my children were at daycare when I worked so I never even dropped by the grocery store before picking up my kids.

[Oss_cc]

The reasons I am against it (on a regular basis; once in awhile I'm fine with it as long as they let me know so I can reach them in case of emergency):

1. The kids who have parents that do this on a *regular* basis are nearly always the most misbehaved kids.

2. Taking kids with you to the store and other public places teaches them what is expected of them in public. Again, comes down to how often this happens.

3. The parent who I had that did this often was the only parent who would "lose track of time" and show up at 5:30 on the dot, then take 15 mins getting her kid out the door (until I started handing DCG off before she could even knock).

Just my opinion and (limited) experience. Plus, even though I was "open", I felt (probably unjustifiably) resentful when DCM would talk about needing "me" time. She got "me" time weekly while I watched her DD. The last time I had "me" time as a mom with two kids? Who knows? Lol

[spud912]

It depends.
Is the mom late for scheduled pick up? Does she send the child in with "iffy" health because she doesn't have time? Is the child poorly behaved? Does mom give me a hard time about being off?

If the answer was no, I probably wouldn't mind. If the answer to any of the above was yes, I would have a firm talk with the parent and move to replace.

I set my closing time at 4:45 so I tend to be more relaxed about it - mostly because I'm not losing out on family time due to a later closure.

This is me. I've had moms dropping their kids off for 8-10 hours per day for socialization and it never bothered me whatsoever because they treated me with respect and they were overall good parents. Then I've had parents who always tried to argue my policies and generally lacked respect for me or the other families and then would drop their kids off on their days off. It especially becomes problematic when they are too busy to take care of their child when he or she is sick, despite being off of work.

[MissAnn]

The reasons I am against it (on a regular basis; once in awhile I'm fine with it as long as they let me know so I can reach them in case of emergency):

1. The kids who have parents that do this on a *regular* basis are nearly always the most misbehaved kids.

2. Taking kids with you to the store and other public places teaches them what is expected of them in public. Again, comes down to how often this happens.

3. The parent who I had that did this often was the only parent who would "lose track of time" and show up at 5:30 on the dot, then take 15 mins getting her kid out the door (until I started handing DCG off before she could even knock).

Just my opinion and (limited) experience. Plus, even though I was "open", I felt (probably unjustifiably) resentful when DCM would talk about needing "me" time. She got "me" time weekly while I watched her DD. The last time I had "me" time as a mom with two kids? Who knows? Lol

Yes! Especially # 1! I Have a new kid who is driving me crazy. First to get dropped off and last to leave. Dad picks son up at 3:15 at the elementary school then doesn't pick up his daughter here till 5:00. All kids have been gone for 30 minutes. She is here over 9.5 hours per day. I am mentally drained at the end of tell day because she talks nonstop.

[MommaB3]

Thanks for all the responses. I just wanted to know what others thought. I just wish parents would ask first before assuming I have kids here all day and nothing better to do. Most of the time I don't care but this particular day she knew her kids were the only ones here past 12:30 and she still kept them here.

I know I need to build a 'backbone' and stick up for myself in this industry as no one else is going to but this is the part I struggle with the most.