What Would You Say..?

**daycare** · 02-20-2014, 03:05 PM

Originally posted by Kabob

So a month ago I was interviewing a bunch of families to fill a slot that opened up when a family left due to me not bending on my daycare hours.

I made a choice to go with a family (that I am happy with) and so informed the other families that I interviewed that the slot had been filled. One of the moms was upset (around here everyone is full for anyone under 2 years old) and responded with a rude comment. I disregarded it and moved on.

So fast forward to this month and I've been interviewing again for a slot that opened when I termed a family. So far I've been struggling to find a good family. I would love to fill the slot as money is nice but not at the cost of my sanity so I've had no problem turning down people that don't seem to be a good fit...

This mom emailed me in response to my ad again indicating she was still looking and asked briefly if I was interested. What should I say?

Part of me wants to comment on her rudeness and part of me wants to try another interview. I would be able to start making money immediately if I said yes but I don't know how it would go since she still seems very upset with me by tthe brevity of her email this time...
I don't want to sound desperate either...

I would just be honest and tell her based on her comment, you felt that her family was not the best fit for her program and move on again........she may fire back,but they are just words

**Kabob** · 02-20-2014, 03:08 PM

Originally posted by daycare

I would just be honest and tell her based on her comment, you felt that her family was not the best fit for her program and move on again........she may fire back,but they are just words

That was my initial reaction but I'm still confused as to why she would be so rude in the first place. She did daycare before. She knows how it is with having to find the right family. I guess my curiosity could get me in trouble here...

**DanielleS** · 02-20-2014, 03:09 PM

I'd call her on it. I'm also the opposite of afraid of confrontation.

"I considered calling you, but after you said _____________the last time we spoke, I was not sure that we would be able to forge a successful relationship. My DCK and I thrive in an environment of mutual trust, respect and understanding. Do you feel you would be able to be a part of that environment?"

I think it's professional and reasonable. If she seems contrite and apologizes (sincerely!!) then you can decide whether or not you think it will work.

To be fair, I've had more than my share of being a jerk when I was having a bad day and having to come back with my tail between my legs and apologize. I'd be willing to give her a second chance, just letting her know that if it turns out you can't develop a good relationship then you can reiterate the terms of termination in your contract.

**TwinKristi** · 02-20-2014, 03:09 PM

I dunno, I would probably interview just for the heck of it... LOL

**Kabob** · 02-20-2014, 03:25 PM

Originally posted by DanielleS

I'd call her on it. I'm also the opposite of afraid of confrontation.

"I considered calling you, but after you said _____________the last time we spoke, I was not sure that we would be able to forge a successful relationship. My DCK and I thrive in an environment of mutual trust, respect and understanding. Do you feel you would be able to be a part of that environment?"

I think it's professional and reasonable. If she seems contrite and apologizes (sincerely!!) then you can decide whether or not you think it will work.

To be fair, I've had more than my share of being a jerk when I was having a bad day and having to come back with my tail between my legs and apologize. I'd be willing to give her a second chance, just letting her know that if it turns out you can't develop a good relationship then you can reiterate the terms of termination in your contract.

I thought of saying this too...only not give her a chance since again I thought she'd be more professional about it since she had experienced running a daycare before. I was shocked she chose to make that comment before and am confused about her email now.

Originally posted by TwinKristi

I dunno, I would probably interview just for the heck of it... LOL

Lol. Yeah. I could be overreacting so another interview could help.

I just worry about the potential for having a family again that doesn't respect me. I mean I've been totally spoiled lately. Today my families picked up early because they didn't want to be late due to the snow storm.

**Play Care** · 02-20-2014, 05:03 PM

I'm going to say I would pass. She has already shown you WHO she is. You need to believe it.

**preschoolteacher** · 02-20-2014, 05:11 PM

Originally posted by DanielleS

I'd call her on it. I'm also the opposite of afraid of confrontation.

"I considered calling you, but after you said _____________the last time we spoke, I was not sure that we would be able to forge a successful relationship. My DCK and I thrive in an environment of mutual trust, respect and understanding. Do you feel you would be able to be a part of that environment?"

I think it's professional and reasonable. If she seems contrite and apologizes (sincerely!!) then you can decide whether or not you think it will work.

To be fair, I've had more than my share of being a jerk when I was having a bad day and having to come back with my tail between my legs and apologize. I'd be willing to give her a second chance, just letting her know that if it turns out you can't develop a good relationship then you can reiterate the terms of termination in your contract.

I agree. If you interview at all, you should mention the comment otherwise you're just giving her permission to be rude again.

**e.j.** · 02-20-2014, 05:19 PM

Originally posted by DanielleS

I'd call her on it. I'm also the opposite of afraid of confrontation.

"I considered calling you, but after you said _____________the last time we spoke, I was not sure that we would be able to forge a successful relationship. My DCK and I thrive in an environment of mutual trust, respect and understanding. Do you feel you would be able to be a part of that environment?"

I think it's professional and reasonable. If she seems contrite and apologizes (sincerely!!) then you can decide whether or not you think it will work.

My initial reaction was: No way would I offer her a spot! She showed her true colors when she responded with a rude comment to the news the spot had been offered to someone else. Her behavior was pretty juvenile. Imagine how she'll react every time you tell her no when she asks you to bend your policies for her.

I kind of like Danielle's reply, though. It lets her know you haven't forgotten her rude comment, clearly and politely states your expections regarding parent behavior and offers her a second chance if she feels she's up to the challenge. I can see where it could work well for you, depending on her response.

**DanielleS** · 02-20-2014, 05:55 PM

I'd ask her for a response, then I might still tell her to hit the bricks. I just wouldn't be able to let her have run her mouth like that and NOT call her on it. I'd just want to hear her response when she has to face up to her poor behavior.

I missed the part where she had run a daycare before. Still...I have empathy for the mouthy but truly repentant. I've tasted a great deal of humble pie :

:

**e.j.** · 02-20-2014, 07:07 PM

Originally posted by DanielleS

I'd ask her for a response, then I might still tell her to hit the bricks. I just wouldn't be able to let her have run her mouth like that and NOT call her on it. I'd just want to hear her response when she has to face up to her poor behavior.

Exactly!:

:

**Kabob** · 02-20-2014, 07:16 PM

Originally posted by DanielleS

I'd ask her for a response, then I might still tell her to hit the bricks. I just wouldn't be able to let her have run her mouth like that and NOT call her on it. I'd just want to hear her response when she has to face up to her poor behavior.

I missed the part where she had run a daycare before. Still...I have empathy for the mouthy but truly repentant. I've tasted a great deal of humble pie :

:

See this is where I worry I could get myself in trouble. I'm curious what she would say but then again she seems to want to be in control and would want the last word. I just don't have the time or energy for that fight. I deal with that every day with my group of toddlers. And yes, I felt that she was being very immature with that comment of hers suggesting that I didn't go with her family because I didn't like her kids was way out of line with the truth and unnecessary. So what is to stop her from making the same illogical leap in response to whatever I say to her? I just think I'm gonna file this away for reference should this become an issue again. Just never had anyone ever ask again after I've turned them down...usually they find other care or just never speak to me again.

**KidGrind** · 02-21-2014, 06:29 AM

I would remind her of last response. I would share I thought it rude. Then I would elaborate that I enjoy working with families in which we share a mutually respectful relationship. Without respect there is no trust and I need work with families who trust me.

**countrymom** · 02-21-2014, 06:56 AM

look at it this way, since you have had your ad up and filled the spot up, this mom is still looking. why is she looking, is she not meshing with anyone. Kinda makes you wonder why she hasn't found care yet either.

**Maria2013** · 02-21-2014, 07:36 AM

Originally posted by DanielleS

I'd call her on it. I'm also the opposite of afraid of confrontation.

"I considered calling you, but after you said _____________the last time we spoke, I was not sure that we would be able to forge a successful relationship. My DCK and I thrive in an environment of mutual trust, respect and understanding. Do you feel you would be able to be a part of that environment?"

I think it's professional and reasonable. If she seems contrite and apologizes (sincerely!!) then you can decide whether or not you think it will work.

I feel that way you would be able to get your mind at ease..if you do give her a second chance, you'd start a possible relationship with an understanding that you are not that desperate to fill the spot that you would take insults lightly ...that you do things your way, speaking up when need to, and will continue to do so and that it's up to her to either follow your ways or walk

What Would You Say..?

What Would You Say..?

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