CPS Tried Shutting Me Down - TEXAS

[Annalee]

But she said she left church, went home, calmed down, discussed.....then delivered the spanking.

I liked your story, you told it well. I think the OP doesn't fit that bill though.

Love your screen name too! Whenever I see it, I start humming "The Weight" by The Band. :: "....won't you stay and keep Anna Lee company? Take a load off Annie......"

Annalee is the name I had picked out if I had a little girl (my mom and dad's middle names), but I got two sons instead which is OK, too.

[mountainside13]

I am suspicious of this post, and I know I shouldn't feed the trolls, but.......

Ok, so you go to CHURCH, then you go home and "spank" your CHILD so hard that police are called? Really?? See the irony here? And you're upset about the cost of your lawyer? Priorities need adjustment.

I have a lot of mixed feelings on this! But I do want to add that just because someone goes to church doesn't mean anything...at least to me. I have found that the parents that are Christians and go to church are very open with me that they spank. Other parents who are not religious do not admit it and even try to make excuses about spanking. I was brought up Christian and was spanked on a regular basis. I personally rarely spank my own children except in extremely serious circumstances.

On another note, being a Christian, going to church doesn't make you perfect or better than others. Unfortunately it can be proven with news stories.

As you can probably tell, I am uncertain with my own religion. Which is why I kind of go back and forth in this post...sorry!

[Sugar Magnolia]

I have a lot of mixed feelings on this! But I do want to add that just because someone goes to church doesn't mean anything...at least to me. I have found that the parents that are Christians and go to church are very open with me that they spank. Other parents who are not religious do not admit it and even try to make excuses about spanking. I was brought up Christian and was spanked on a regular basis. I personally rarely spank my own children except in extremely serious circumstances.

On another note, being a Christian, going to church doesn't make you perfect or better than others. Unfortunately it can be proven with news stories.

As you can probably tell, I am uncertain with my own religion. Which is why I kind of go back and forth in this post...sorry!

Exactly! I just found it ironic the OP mentioned it.

[Crystal]

In California you would be required to report this to licensing within 36 hours....ANY unusual incident MUST be reported. Fail to do so and you ARE going to get shut down.

Regardless of what you are going through, the cold, hard truth is that you spanked your child, knowing that he bruises so easily, hard enough to leave bruises.....well, as a parent, I would NOT trust you to provide care for my child or any other child. And, daycare licensing clearly does not trust you to care for children either.

Move on.

[SilverSabre25]

Unfortunately in a line of work such as this, one moment of poor judgement can affect your entire career and future.

[Lucy]

I am suspicious of this post, and I know I shouldn't feed the trolls, but.......

Ok, so you go to CHURCH, then you go home and "spank" your CHILD so hard that police are called? Really?? See the irony here? And you're upset about the cost of your lawyer? Priorities need adjustment.

Sure, she could be a troll, but I don't get that impression. Even still, I feel like we can answer the core question about her chances of keeping her DC open, and the tax deduction issue, whether or not it's a made up story. (Which I don't think it is.)

I've only read this far... down to post #7, but I must say this.... let's not judge her, please. Let's take her at her word that the punishment was after reflection and discussion. Spanking is going out of favor these days, but let's remember that it was VERY commonplace until about the last 20 years, give or take.

Discipline is a personal choice within your family. As long as there is a line drawn between constructive discipline, and releasing one's anger on a child, we really shouldn't criticize. I feel like we need to take her word for it that her son is fair-skinned and bruises easily.

As far as drawing a contrast between going to church and believing in spanking - well that's just ridiculous IMO. (full disclosure, I grew up in a Christian, church-going family, but now am not religious at all) I don't think being a Christian precludes you from using constructive discipline of your choosing.

Again, this does NOT mean beating, abusing, or taking your anger out on a child. And it's MY OWN opinion.

More full disclosure - I was not spanked as a child, and I haven't spanked kids. Even still, I support any family's choice to do so.

Flame..............

[Michael]

Sure, she could be a troll, but I don't get that impression. Even still, I feel like we can answer the core question about her chances of keeping her DC open, and the tax deduction issue, whether or not it's a made up story. (Which I don't think it is.)

Agree, answering the OP with definitely help her or whoever is looking for advice in the future. We get indexed a lot by search engines. Its a valid question. BTW, I put out flamers here.

[LadyMacbeth]

Ok, so you go to CHURCH, then you go home and "spank" your CHILD so hard that police are called? Really?? See the irony here?

I don't see it. She did exactly what the bible suggested she do...spare the rod spoil the child. Religion ain't so pretty, therefore I don't attend and I don't spank my children.

[Sugar Magnolia]

I dunno.....it could be a real poster, but there are just so many "hot button" topics......vindictive ex, cps shutting down her daycare, spanking, bruising easily, lawyers, religion,choosing NOT to inform licensing or parents she was found for abuse......that's a lot of high energy topics.
I don't really see her asking for advice either, except "has this happened to anyone else" and the outcome, and if she could deduct her lawyer. She has a lawyer, perhaps her lawyer would be the best person she should be getting advice from. And an accountant. As a child care provider, I find the whole post disturbing. And perhaps this post will help the next person who gets shut down for being found to have abused their own child.

[Maria2013]

"Normal" parental discipline does not include bruising your child! If my ex husband spanked one of our kids so hard it left a bruise, I would do the same thing!

Your anger and frustration should never be taken out on an innocent child. I'm sure this is just someone trying to start a spanking debate which I'm not going to get into,but bruises are not ok!

I agree 100% to all of it

[mountainside13]

Sure, she could be a troll, but I don't get that impression. Even still, I feel like we can answer the core question about her chances of keeping her DC open, and the tax deduction issue, whether or not it's a made up story. (Which I don't think it is.)

I've only read this far... down to post #7, but I must say this.... let's not judge her, please. Let's take her at her word that the punishment was after reflection and discussion. Spanking is going out of favor these days, but let's remember that it was VERY commonplace until about the last 20 years, give or take.

Discipline is a personal choice within your family. As long as there is a line drawn between constructive discipline, and releasing one's anger on a child, we really shouldn't criticize. I feel like we need to take her word for it that her son is fair-skinned and bruises easily.

As far as drawing a contrast between going to church and believing in spanking - well that's just ridiculous IMO. (full disclosure, I grew up in a Christian, church-going family, but now am not religious at all) I don't think being a Christian precludes you from using constructive discipline of your choosing.

Again, this does NOT mean beating, abusing, or taking your anger out on a child. And it's MY OWN opinion.

More full disclosure - I was not spanked as a child, and I haven't spanked kids. Even still, I support any family's choice to do so.

Flame..............

Whoops! I forgot to put IMO! That is my experience and my observation. Not that it is always this way or that everyone experiences this. Sorry for the confusion!

[Heidi]

I dunno.....it could be a real poster, but there are just so many "hot button" topics......vindictive ex, cps shutting down her daycare, spanking, bruising easily, lawyers, religion,choosing NOT to inform licensing or parents she was found for abuse......that's a lot of high energy topics.
I don't really see her asking for advice either, except "has this happened to anyone else" and the outcome, and if she could deduct her lawyer. She has a lawyer, perhaps her lawyer would be the best person she should be getting advice from. And an accountant. As a child care provider, I find the whole post disturbing. And perhaps this post will help the next person who gets shut down for being found to have abused their own child.

Our licensing standards say that all contact with law enforcement or authorities (CPS would be included) must be reported within 24 hours. I had a grass fire that required the fire dept. to come out. I reported it.

[Blackcat31]

Sure, she could be a troll, but I don't get that impression. Even still, I feel like we can answer the core question about her chances of keeping her DC open, and the tax deduction issue, whether or not it's a made up story. (Which I don't think it is.)

I've only read this far... down to post #7, but I must say this.... let's not judge her, please. Let's take her at her word that the punishment was after reflection and discussion. Spanking is going out of favor these days, but let's remember that it was VERY commonplace until about the last 20 years, give or take.

Discipline is a personal choice within your family. As long as there is a line drawn between constructive discipline, and releasing one's anger on a child, we really shouldn't criticize. I feel like we need to take her word for it that her son is fair-skinned and bruises easily.

As far as drawing a contrast between going to church and believing in spanking - well that's just ridiculous IMO. (full disclosure, I grew up in a Christian, church-going family, but now am not religious at all) I don't think being a Christian precludes you from using constructive discipline of your choosing.

Again, this does NOT mean beating, abusing, or taking your anger out on a child. And it's MY OWN opinion.

More full disclosure - I was not spanked as a child, and I haven't spanked kids. Even still, I support any family's choice to do so.

Flame..............

Nice post! I agree that posting our opinions/judgments is not helping anyone.

The poster is asking for help.

If we have any help or advice to give....I'm sure it would benefit not only her(OP) but her child as well.

.....on a side note, I read the time line as this: "The spanking was done thirty minutes after the incident, after I calmed down and we had our discussion"

My interpretation was "The spanking was done thirty minutes after the incident. PERIOD. After, I calmed down and we had our discussion."

So I viewed it as she spanked, THEN calmed down and THEN had the discussion.

Maybe OP will return so she can clarify.

[Heidi]

Nice post! I agree that posting our opinions/judgments is not helping anyone.

The poster is asking for help.

If we have any help or advice to give....I'm sure it would benefit not only her(OP) but her child as well.

.....on a side note, I read the time line as this: "The spanking was done thirty minutes after the incident, after I calmed down and we had our discussion"

My interpretation was "The spanking was done thirty minutes after the incident. PERIOD. After, I calmed down and we had our discussion."

So I viewed it as she spanked, THEN calmed down and THEN had the discussion.

Maybe OP will return so she can clarify.

Honestly, the handful of times I've spanked any of my 4 children, I was certainly NOT calm. I reacted to an extreme situation. It's almost creepy to me (and that's just my opinion) to plan a spanking. If you're that calm, you could write a lesson plan first. There are so many alternatives to spanking (again, my opinion) that are more affective.

For the OP, I'm afraid this may cost you your license. I understand that you have a right to discipline your child, and spanking is certainly an option. However, licensing will see it as "well, if she can't discipline her own child without hurting him, how can she deal with other children without hurting them?"

Maybe they would give you a chance if you could argue that you've had some additional training on positive discipline or other techniques? You are not being convicted of a crime, right, just told you crossed the line?

In most states, though, anything like this will basically mean they're on a "witch hunt". In their defense, so when they have something they consider blatant, they pretty much have to act on it. It's not always fair, for sure.

[Blackcat31]

Honestly, the handful of times I've spanked any of my 4 children, I was certainly NOT calm. I reacted to an extreme situation. It's almost creepy to me (and that's just my opinion) to plan a spanking. If you're that calm, you could write a lesson plan first. There are so many alternatives to spanking (again, my opinion) that are more affective.

Yes, that is what I thought...most people spank WHILE upset. I thought OP said she calmed down AFTER and then talked about it, which would make sense...

Child ran out into street, mom freaked...spanked him and now we are here.....