Think I Made Someone Mad Today. How Would You Have Handled This?

[Blackcat31]

If children do not arrive with the proper clothing, I do not accept them into care.

If I don't notice they are missing something until later, I call the parent at work and tell them they need to come pick up their child immediately or bring the proper supplies.

I don't lend, borrow or purchase clothing for other people's children.

I know it makes life easier for some providers but I have NO issues following through on my "come prepared or you can't stay" policy.

I have very rarely had a repeat incident with the same child/parent.

[crazydaycarelady]

I have a box full of clothes, coats, lots of socks and even shoes that I have picked up at garage sales just for this purpose. I get this stuff for super cheap. I had a little girl come with snow pants but no coat yesterday and we had 2 feet of snow. No biggie - I put a sweatshirt and light coat on over that and she was good to go.

[llpa]

Holy moly! If dck has no coat, does he go out every time w no coat:confused: I agree w BC no coat no stay. If you choose to accept him then I feel the ball is in your court to clothe him properly for outdoor play. I was assuming that is what you did. (Put dc clothes on him)

[nannyde]

Nanne De, Actually, I was following our rules. Our licensing rules state that all kids must go out EVERY day, unless the weather poses a threat such as high winds or temps below 0. It's up to the parents to bring a coat but we HAVE to go out. Technically, yes I could call CPS here because it's a CPS offense to bring kids without proper, weather appropriate clothing. The sad part is that the family is well off and just didn't buy coats because they "couldn't find any cute enough". Ugh!

The go out rule would never protect you.

One reg doesn't supercede a basic care expectation. You had the option to refuse the child at the door.

Once she was left in your care you were obligated to do the right thing.

[JLH]

His mom brings him in sweaters, cardigans, or sweatshirts almost every day. I didn't notice no coat at drop off because she won't leave items in their cubby. She brings everything back and forth in a diaper bag every day, including any jackets or warm clothes when they have them. They do not transition well at all and there's usually crying involved so I didn't see no coat until they were gone. Sometimes she brings puffy vests for them. Silly me for assuming that because the news reported that we were expecting record breaking lows she would have actually brought her kids with winter coats. I can't keep them inside because it is a violation of licensing. What I will do from now on is put her kids in borrowed coats. I may take pics of them in the coats too and put them on our website so she can see that if she won't ensure her kids are warm, I will, even if they are wearing ugly coats. I really don't know what else to do. I'm not trying to do wrong but at the same time this mom challenges me on several of my rules (immunizations, no outside food or toys, me not giving parents free vacation time) and in the year and a half they've been here I think she kept one of them home once for being sick. Every other time they are sick they still come to daycare. Mom doesn't want to miss work for her kids but it's no problem if there's a trip to take, a wedding to go to, or she needs a day off for a random interview for a better job. I just don't understand this mentality. She certainly didn't complain last week when I sent a child home with diarrhea so her kids wouldn't catch it, or the week before that when I wouldn't allow a child with croup to return without a doctor's note because I didn't want her kids to catch it. Now that everyone is back healthy, her kids come in wiping snot everywhere, with temps of 99.5, and sleeping all day long. Sometimes I just feel like I can't win with these parents. Don't worry though, her kids came in this morning and she spent 15 minutes telling me how her kids were not sick. Meanwhile, my hubby is my assistant and woke up so sick with their cold this morning that I told him to basically take the day off. An hour later her kids had snot down to their lips and I was watching them wiping it on our table where we all eat. Of course I sanitized it but we have 11 kids here. What to do, what to do???....

[JLH]

The go out rule would never protect you.

One reg doesn't supercede a basic care expectation. You had the option to refuse the child at the door.

Once she was left in your care you were obligated to do the right thing.

I find this viewpoint very interesting. I truly never thought of it this way. I worked in a lot of different centers before opening my home daycare and kids always went out, with or without a coat. I guess I just assumed that I was following policy. I never saw sending him out in the snow with only a sweater as me being in the wrong. I just assumed that mom was wrong for not bringing a coat but I still had to take him out because I was obligated to do so. Maybe I should talk to my licensor to find out what to do next time this happens. I can only imagine how mad mom will be when she gets a call from me telling her that she needs to bring a coat or her son can't stay!!!

[Heidi]

1. Originally, I would have sent Mom, with kid, home for the coat. Appropriate clothing was a condition of attendance.

Now, I have spares of everything because I got tired of the drama involved in enforcing this policy (I can't stand waiting for them to come back and having the kid miss out on breakfast/circle time. It throws off the day for the whole group. ). Since I was no longer enforcing this policy I removed it from my contract.


2. If the drama of enforcing a policy makes you fear losing clients then you will need a plan B so you no longer NEED to enforce the policy.


***As far as telling Mom that kid got the cold virus from being outside, I'd probably have left the entire topic alone. It is no longer widely held that cold temperatures can cause viruses. It is also frowned upon to "play the blame game" with illnesses in childcare because it can come back to bite you later...

http://www.niaid.nih.gov/topics/commoncold/pages/cause.aspx

Ugh, I did not see posts 5-9. Raises fist to windstream.

[Heidi]

If the children don't have proper outdoor gear you have to stay in. It was the Moms decision to BRING them with no coat but it's on you that the kid was taken out in cold weather without a coat.

This is something that would get you in a WHOLE lot of trouble here. It could land you with DHS and child protective at your door.

Parents can't give you permission to do the wrong thing. Once you accepted the kid in the house without proper winter gear you know that your group can not go outside.

Sorry not what you want to hear but I hope it helps you next time. I ended up purchasing a ton of winter gear in all sizes because I got sick of dealing with parents bringing them in complicated, ill fitting, and inappropriate weather gear. It takes a lot of real estate but it solved my problem.

We actually have it in our regs about having to go outside, and in the "commentary" section, it suggests that a provider keep extra clothes on hand. Basically, they are saying there is no excuse NOT to go out, other than it truly being too cold (which is different depending on the age of the children in question, per the chart we were provided).

[CraftyMom]

His mom brings him in sweaters, cardigans, or sweatshirts almost every day. I didn't notice no coat at drop off because she won't leave items in their cubby. She brings everything back and forth in a diaper bag every day, including any jackets or warm clothes when they have them. They do not transition well at all and there's usually crying involved so I didn't see no coat until they were gone. Sometimes she brings puffy vests for them. Silly me for assuming that because the news reported that we were expecting record breaking lows she would have actually brought her kids with winter coats. I can't keep them inside because it is a violation of licensing. What I will do from now on is put her kids in borrowed coats. I may take pics of them in the coats too and put them on our website so she can see that if she won't ensure her kids are warm, I will, even if they are wearing ugly coats. I really don't know what else to do. I'm not trying to do wrong but at the same time this mom challenges me on several of my rules (immunizations, no outside food or toys, me not giving parents free vacation time) and in the year and a half they've been here I think she kept one of them home once for being sick. Every other time they are sick they still come to daycare. Mom doesn't want to miss work for her kids but it's no problem if there's a trip to take, a wedding to go to, or she needs a day off for a random interview for a better job. I just don't understand this mentality. She certainly didn't complain last week when I sent a child home with diarrhea so her kids wouldn't catch it, or the week before that when I wouldn't allow a child with croup to return without a doctor's note because I didn't want her kids to catch it. Now that everyone is back healthy, her kids come in wiping snot everywhere, with temps of 99.5, and sleeping all day long. Sometimes I just feel like I can't win with these parents. Don't worry though, her kids came in this morning and she spent 15 minutes telling me how her kids were not sick. Meanwhile, my hubby is my assistant and woke up so sick with their cold this morning that I told him to basically take the day off. An hour later her kids had snot down to their lips and I was watching them wiping it on our table where we all eat. Of course I sanitized it but we have 11 kids here. What to do, what to do???....

Call mom now and send them home. One sick dck is bad enough this is twice the germs infecting your daycare

[Luna]

Call mom now and send them home. One sick dck is bad enough this is twice the germs infecting your daycare

I agree. After all that, there is no question what to do.

[My3cents]

Mom brings her kid with no coat in the snow. We play outside. Kid freezes. Kid comes sick the next day with a cold. A few days later sister gets it. Now I have 4 yr old and 2 yr old both with thick green snot everywhere and they are both smearing it with their fingers and wiping it all over my house. I watch 4 year old wipe his nose on my couch. I watch 2 year old touch her snot with her finger, smear it around her nose, and smear it on my chair as I'm taking her temp. 2 year old is extra fussy. I ask her if she wants to lay down and she says yes. I lay her down and she instantly falls asleep and sleep over 5 hours today in middle of playroom. I text mom to give a head's up that kids are not feeling well and I'll let her know if they get worse and she needs to pick them up, slipping in the fact that little one got it from brother who came sick the day after no coat in the snow. Mom comes to pick up and says that they look fine. I tell her that little one was extra fussy and slept all day, they both have green snot that they were wiping all over the furniture and toys, and we have more medically fragile children than hers that a simple cold like this could make very sick (new toddler very prone to croup and a child with illness induced asthma). Also, that these kids just got done being sick and many parents had to miss days of work so we are trying to prevent these kids from getting sick again. Mom says they are too little to know about germs. I agreed but reply to mom that almost all of our older kids (3-5 year olds) know how to cough into their elbow and wipe their noses rather than wiping snot on the furniture and toys but we will continue to work on teaching her kids. I tell mom they can return tomorrow if they are feeling better but we will have a full house of kids tomorrow so little one can't be sleeping all day. We both say that hopefully little one slept it off today and will feel better tomorrow and mom leaves but I can tell she is irritated.
I feel proud of myself for saying my piece and standing my ground but I always worry about parents pulling when I make them mad. It leaves me with a feeling, like I'm in trouble for something, for days after I have a conversation with a parent like this.
So.... I'm trying to get a little more backbone without chasing people off because up until recently I've been a pushover and I'm sick of my family being sick all the time. Do you think I went wrong anywhere? How would you have handled this? I really felt like I was trying to do the right thing by trying to stop the spread of illness for our medically fragile kids but now with the worry of losing income it makes me wonder if I even should have said anything to the mom. What would you have done?

have not read beyond the bolded above yet- I will. but here is my take on this..

Why would you take a child out with no coat??? Call the parents and make them bring the child a coat or take the child home with them. Now on to read the rest

[My3cents]

If the children don't have proper outdoor gear you have to stay in. It was the Moms decision to BRING them with no coat but it's on you that the kid was taken out in cold weather without a coat.

This is something that would get you in a WHOLE lot of trouble here. It could land you with DHS and child protective at your door.

Parents can't give you permission to do the wrong thing. Once you accepted the kid in the house without proper winter gear you know that your group can not go outside.

Sorry not what you want to hear but I hope it helps you next time. I ended up purchasing a ton of winter gear in all sizes because I got sick of dealing with parents bringing them in complicated, ill fitting, and inappropriate weather gear. It takes a lot of real estate but it solved my problem.

I questioned myself for a minute, brief minute.......and I also agree that a cold would not just present itself the next day. Green is usually infection somewhere.

Thanks Nan, thought I was loosing my mind as being the only one to see the obvious issue here-

[My3cents]

the only thing I would recommend is to leave the medically fragile children out of the scenario because by mentioning them, it seems you are favoring their needs over the other families needs. It would be best to just say "this is our illness policy, the kids have to go home because they are clearly ill and I dont provide sick care" and leave it at that. I think you over explained things by talking about other kids, germs and sanitary issues......those are all legitimate concerns, for you. This parent doesnt need to know all your reasons and by overexplaining, it seems like you are trying to validate your reasons, which you don't need to do. just send them home and thats that. Insist these kids have weather appropriate clothing and let mom know that you will turn them away at the door if she comes without it again. A coat is mandatory. end of story.

[My3cents]

Nanne De, Actually, I was following our rules. Our licensing rules state that all kids must go out EVERY day, unless the weather poses a threat such as high winds or temps below 0. It's up to the parents to bring a coat but we HAVE to go out. Technically, yes I could call CPS here because it's a CPS offense to bring kids without proper, weather appropriate clothing. The sad part is that the family is well off and just didn't buy coats because they "couldn't find any cute enough". Ugh!

lets use some common sense here please-

Should have called parents to pick up sick kid, and bring a coat or no stay.

You took a kid outside with snow with no coat?

[My3cents]

Maybe you should go to the thrift store & buy the ugliest brightest pink coat you can find & show DCM at pick up that this is what her son wears when you go outside. Apologize that it's not cute enough, but at least he will be warm when he rolls around in the snow.

in humor yes I get you-...... but why would you want to do that to the child? I am afraid this provider might take you up on this