Do You All Go Through Mixed Emotions About Your Job All Day?

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  • Blackcat31
    • Oct 2010
    • 36124

    #31
    Curious as to how many of you that posted in this thread saying you feel the same way as OP have young children of your own at home?

    I am trying to make a connection to provider burnout and what common variables occur in those providers feeling that way.

    Managing a family WHILE managing a child care is hard and at times I would think very overwhelming.

    How many of you that posted feeling the same love-hate feelings for child care are only doing child care until your own children no longer need care and/or supervision? Do you plan on re-entering the outside work force once your children are older?

    Comment

    • Msdunny
      Daycare.com Member
      • Nov 2012
      • 442

      #32
      Originally posted by Blackcat31
      Curious as to how many of you that posted in this thread saying you feel the same way as OP have young children of your own at home?

      I am trying to make a connection to provider burnout and what common variables occur in those providers feeling that way.

      Managing a family WHILE managing a child care is hard and at times I would think very overwhelming.

      How many of you that posted feeling the same love-hate feelings for child care are only doing child care until your own children no longer need care and/or supervision? Do you plan on re-entering the outside work force once your children are older?
      I'll go ahead and answer while everyone is playing nicely! I have 3 teenagers - 1 graduated last year and is working, 2 are in high school. I homeschool, and even though I don't oversee their work everyday any longer, I do feel as though I need to be home for them. My dd graduates this year and will probably be leaving to spend a year on the mission field, so I am not sure what that means for the future of my dc. She has been a huge help to me, and I am not sure I want to do this 'alone' all day, every day.

      My dd and I were joking yesterday that we can really tell it is winter. I have one mom who is consistent with her pick up time every day. In the spring and summer, the other parents tend to get here before her. As fall and winter roll around, the other parents start arriving after this mom has picked up. It is weird, but it has happened both years I have been open.

      I think most of my frustration comes from parenting styles that are different from my own. I WANT to be with my children...I always have. I enjoyed them when they were little, and loved being home with them. I am disappointed with parents who look for every opportunity to 'ditch' their kids. It makes me sad, and I don't think they realize how quickly these years fly by. And the kids don't really care that mom and dad are gone. None of my dcks care when mom leaves, and don't care that she isn't here during the day. I'm not saying they are wrong - please don't hear that from me. I am just sad for them. And frustrated a little by parents who treat me as an employee, although that isn't a huge problem for me...at least not more that once!

      Comment

      • melilley
        Daycare.com Member
        • Oct 2012
        • 5155

        #33
        Originally posted by Blackcat31
        Curious as to how many of you that posted in this thread saying you feel the same way as OP have young children of your own at home?

        I am trying to make a connection to provider burnout and what common variables occur in those providers feeling that way.

        Managing a family WHILE managing a child care is hard and at times I would think very overwhelming.

        How many of you that posted feeling the same love-hate feelings for child care are only doing child care until your own children no longer need care and/or supervision? Do you plan on re-entering the outside work force once your children are older?
        I have a 1.5 yo ds and a 10 yo dd.

        I definitely think that having my own kids sometimes contributes to burn out. I'm not saying that I don't love my kids or don't like being around them, and I do love being able to be home with ds and after school or days off for my dd, but after taking care of other young kids all day then after they leave making dinner and taking care of my ds, it can get a little overwhelming, especially when ds is in a whiny mood or dd decides to be a booger. Dh is here and is a great help most of the time, but I still feel like I have to do all the care giving (my fault I know, but I can't help it). Some days are great, others not so great.

        I keep saying I'm going to get a job outside of the home after ds is in school (or if we have another, after he/she is in school), but in reality I probably won't. My degree is in child development and before I opened my fcc, I worked in a couple of centers for the past 14 years so I feel this is my calling and my career. I honestly don't really know how to do anything else, well as well as what I do now. Ultimately for me, I think a lot of my burnout feeling are due to the fact that I'm used to working with others (can be good or bad) and here, it's just me.
        Ultimately I would like to do what you do and do this outside of my home where I have more room and could hire a couple of providers.

        Great question, I'll be looking back to see other responses!

        Comment

        • Annalee
          Daycare.com Member
          • Jul 2012
          • 5864

          #34
          Originally posted by Blackcat31
          Curious as to how many of you that posted in this thread saying you feel the same way as OP have young children of your own at home?

          I am trying to make a connection to provider burnout and what common variables occur in those providers feeling that way.

          Managing a family WHILE managing a child care is hard and at times I would think very overwhelming.

          How many of you that posted feeling the same love-hate feelings for child care are only doing child care until your own children no longer need care and/or supervision? Do you plan on re-entering the outside work force once your children are older?
          I did not post to the original message but have been following. Personally, I am in FCC for the long haul and have started on my second generation of child care children and can see reaching the third generation. However, there are 2 things that nearly push me over the edge....First thing being; the state QRIS, not going to beat a dead horse because it is evident in previous post how I feel about that. Second thing is the drastic change in families over the past years....There seems to be no respect for others, no accountability/responsibility, no trust.....it is a "me" generation and that is frustrating.... I have been blessed with wonderful mentors and support systems which keep me in tact from totally falling off that edge when I get there.

          Comment

          • mountainside13
            Daycare.com Member
            • Jan 2014
            • 777

            #35
            Originally posted by Blackcat31
            Curious as to how many of you that posted in this thread saying you feel the same way as OP have young children of your own at home?

            I am trying to make a connection to provider burnout and what common variables occur in those providers feeling that way.

            Managing a family WHILE managing a child care is hard and at times I would think very overwhelming.

            How many of you that posted feeling the same love-hate feelings for child care are only doing child care until your own children no longer need care and/or supervision? Do you plan on re-entering the outside work force once your children are older?

            In my experience, the times I have been burnt out is because of my own young children for the most part. I love them dearly and love being at home for them but I think this job would be a lot easier on me if my kids were older. My husband works nights and sleeps in in the mornings.

            I love my job even thou some days are a lot harder than others. I do not plan to quit and get another job once my kids are older. I have always wanted to be a provider or work with kids.

            Comment

            • Blackcat31
              • Oct 2010
              • 36124

              #36
              Thanks for the replies ladies...

              I am really curious as provider burnout has been a really hot topic on several forums/groups I visit so being the black/white person I am, I am really trying to find the root of it.

              Is it the providers who are merely making due with this job until their own kids are older?
              Is it the lack of support from family members?
              Is it the season? time of year?
              Is it QRIS? State reg changes etc?
              Is it the parenting trends?

              etc, etc, etc...

              It really IS a fascinating subject so thank you again for the replies....

              Comment

              • Annalee
                Daycare.com Member
                • Jul 2012
                • 5864

                #37
                Originally posted by Blackcat31
                Thanks for the replies ladies...

                I am really curious as provider burnout has been a really hot topic on several forums/groups I visit so being the black/white person I am, I am really trying to find the root of it.

                Is it the providers who are merely making due with this job until their own kids are older?
                Is it the lack of support from family members?
                Is it the season? time of year?
                Is it QRIS? State reg changes etc?
                Is it the parenting trends?

                etc, etc, etc...

                It really IS a fascinating subject so thank you again for the replies....
                I appreciate this blackcat... I ask myself sometimes if the problem is within myself to just accept who/what I am and stand for and for me to quit allowing others to steal my happiness personally and professionally!?!?

                Comment

                • HomeMADE
                  New Daycare.com Member
                  • Jan 2013
                  • 85

                  #38
                  As I contemplate quitting daily, hourly, getting paid on Friday only now remind me that they will be coming back the next week.

                  I am giving my notice on tomorrow to all of my families. It is bitter sweet because we will all miss the the kiddos, all who have been with me since the beginning.

                  My frustration began with the extremely long hours, 6 am to 6 pm. Which I know is normal for childcare. Then one of my kids turned 2 and turned into a monster, who can only be controlled by pure structure and firm words (not fun for me). Then the last straw was a mom went on a rant at how she can't believe what providers charge when they are keeping multiple kids, she said this to ME!!! I didn't have the energy to even respond. I am over it.

                  So I start a new job that I will work weekends overnight so I am still available to my daughter who is home with me during the day. I will be making the same as daycare and its close enough that gas won't be a factor.

                  To say I am excited is an understatement. After this job I think I will appreciate the simplicity of going to a job where people say thank you, you have a lunch break, down time, paid time off, sick time. I feel like I am about to have the best of both worlds.
                  HomeMADE

                  Comment

                  • KIDZRMYBIZ
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Jun 2013
                    • 672

                    #39
                    I know I got fed up with daycare several times before my own kids were SA, usually because a DCK was teaching mine a bad habit, or I felt like I was somehow taking away from my own children by having the daycare (which is ridiculous now when I look back on it). It was so much harder when mine were younger. SO MUCH harder!

                    But...

                    It was so worth it! I'm so glad I hung in there. My husband and I raised our own children with just our influences, and not some stranger's at a daycare. They are such great kids, too, and I think it has a lot to do with being surrounded with little kids their whole lives (empathy, sympathy, kindness, gentleness, patience). I'm home when they leave for school and when they come home and days out, and making decent money in the process. I hope I will still be doing this when I have grandchildren.

                    Comment

                    • Jack Sprat
                      New Daycare.com Member
                      • Jul 2013
                      • 882

                      #40
                      Originally posted by Blackcat31
                      Curious as to how many of you that posted in this thread saying you feel the same way as OP have young children of your own at home?

                      I am trying to make a connection to provider burnout and what common variables occur in those providers feeling that way.

                      Managing a family WHILE managing a child care is hard and at times I would think very overwhelming.

                      How many of you that posted feeling the same love-hate feelings for child care are only doing child care until your own children no longer need care and/or supervision? Do you plan on re-entering the outside work force once your children are older?
                      I have my 5yr old here in the mornings and some days when she doesn't attend k-prep.

                      I don't plan on entering the work force until 5yr old has graduated from HS. My reasoning for opening my own daycare were that I was unhappy with current daycare, our area was and still is in need of daycare, I love children and felt my true calling was to do this. Even on the WORST day I can't imagine going back to teaching and being as happy as I am now.

                      I do go through a gauntlet of emotions some days but not all day. I find my anxiety gets really high the night before knowing that I have x amount of things I want to do and still get up at 5:00 am and work till 6:30. I think the cold weather factors in as well. I started daycare in May so we had about 4 glorious months of being outside playing etc. Now we are stuck looking out at piles of snow and negative temps.

                      Comment

                      • Jack Sprat
                        New Daycare.com Member
                        • Jul 2013
                        • 882

                        #41
                        Originally posted by Blackcat31
                        Thanks for the replies ladies...

                        I am really curious as provider burnout has been a really hot topic on several forums/groups I visit so being the black/white person I am, I am really trying to find the root of it.

                        Is it the providers who are merely making due with this job until their own kids are older?
                        Is it the lack of support from family members?
                        Is it the season? time of year?
                        Is it QRIS? State reg changes etc?
                        Is it the parenting trends?

                        etc, etc, etc...

                        It really IS a fascinating subject so thank you again for the replies....
                        Parents are what get me miffed and wanting to throw it in. But, I have learned (duh!) that I can control that! And of course like I stated before the time of year. But, I can't really close for the winter can I? ::

                        Comment

                        • My3cents
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Jan 2012
                          • 3387

                          #42
                          Originally posted by Blackcat31
                          Thanks for the replies ladies...

                          I am really curious as provider burnout has been a really hot topic on several forums/groups I visit so being the black/white person I am, I am really trying to find the root of it.

                          Is it the providers who are merely making due with this job until their own kids are older?no, I picked this job as a career for myself
                          Is it the lack of support from family members?No- but other providers, family and friends have had influence over me, both good and bad.
                          Is it the season? time of year?I think this plays a part. Winter is hard and just plain blah, cold.
                          Is it QRIS? State reg changes etc?I don't like this nor do any other providers I talk with. but No-
                          Is it the parenting trends? I don't like this either but I figure that my home, my rules when the children are with me. Kids adapt quick for the most part and are capable of learning. Every generation has had this complaint-

                          etc, etc, etc...

                          It really IS a fascinating subject so thank you again for the replies....
                          Think its a combination of things and not a black or white answer- personal to each person and the influences surrounding the circumstances.

                          For me I will answer bold above

                          After answering these I have come up with that I think for some people there is a time and a season for this job, and it is not for everyone. Its a ton of work and looks easy on the outside until your on the inside and doing the daily grind. Long hours. Pay is not the best and not really room to climb. Underpaid for the hours and amount of work involved. I think many people just move around jobs too- I prob have more but my time is up here~ It is interesting.

                          Comment

                          • Country Kids
                            Nature Lover
                            • Mar 2011
                            • 5051

                            #43
                            To answer BC's question, I think it really depends on what stage your children are at and what their lives entail if you feel burnout/stress or not.

                            This year I have no elementary children of my own. That considerably lessened a load of mine, trying to go to events during school (parties, programs, special lunches, etc.). It feels good not to have to figure that all out.

                            The issue now though is trying to get to sporting events/banquets that my children participate in. All the games start between 4:00-5:00 and I don't get off work till 5:20-5:30. Then we are racing to try and get to possibly the last few minutes of whatever they are doing.

                            Also, I'm now trying to get all my own out the door at the same time of kids arriving which sometimes causes a huge traffic jam at the door. Then right at the end of naptime, some of my kiddos are coming back home which causes for overload with noise right after quiet time.

                            Now that my kids are older different things causes stress (not so much burnout) then when they were younger. So I'm not sure a person ever feels less stress/burnout till maybe all their own children are maybe out of the house.
                            Each day is a fresh start
                            Never look back on regrets
                            Live life to the fullest
                            We only get one shot at this!!

                            Comment

                            • Blackcat31
                              • Oct 2010
                              • 36124

                              #44
                              Originally posted by Country Kids
                              To answer BC's question, I think it really depends on what stage your children are at and what their lives entail if you feel burnout/stress or not.

                              This year I have no elementary children of my own. That considerably lessened a load of mine, trying to go to events during school (parties, programs, special lunches, etc.). It feels good not to have to figure that all out.

                              The issue now though is trying to get to sporting events/banquets that my children participate in. All the games start between 4:00-5:00 and I don't get off work till 5:20-5:30. Then we are racing to try and get to possibly the last few minutes of whatever they are doing.

                              Also, I'm now trying to get all my own out the door at the same time of kids arriving which sometimes causes a huge traffic jam at the door. Then right at the end of naptime, some of my kiddos are coming back home which causes for overload with noise right after quiet time.

                              Now that my kids are older different things causes stress (not so much burnout) then when they were younger. So I'm not sure a person ever feels less stress/burnout till maybe all their own children are maybe out of the house.
                              That's sort of what I was thinking....

                              Most (not all) provider's do this because they have young children of their own. Children they don't want to or can't afford to put in child care themselves so they stay home and do this.

                              So sometimes it seems that the very reason some providers do this is the same reason that stresses them out...kwim?

                              It's almost like a no win situation.

                              Cheerfuldom made a comment not too long ago about the push-pull of this job that she often struggles with wondering if it really made a difference for her kids. Being in daycare with mom and the stresses of having a home daycare in your home verses having her kids in some one else's daycare while she worked outside the home. It got me thinking about the pros and cons for some providers and their kids.

                              On one hand your kids are lucky they come home to you after school but at the same time, do they miss out when you have to stay at work and miss part or all of their games...kwim?

                              Comment

                              • Annalee
                                Daycare.com Member
                                • Jul 2012
                                • 5864

                                #45
                                Originally posted by Blackcat31
                                That's sort of what I was thinking....


                                On one hand your kids are lucky they come home to you after school but at the same time, do they miss out when you have to stay at work and miss part or all of their games...kwim?
                                EACTLY!!!! The public, including our clients, view child care as an "easy stay at home" job when, in fact, it is triple-duty and one of the most important professions/careers.

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