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FWIW I think the poor financial planning is the main issue. Dad may also have become used to staying home and finds his new job unpleasant.
My fear is food will be the excuse they will use to get out of paying their notice. Stay on them... but you already know that.
:hug: Sorry they are going this path..... you do not deserve it.- Unless otherwise stated, all my posts are personal opinion and worth what you paid for them.
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Sounds familiar... I also was laid off over a year ago, and have been a stay at home dad ever since. Before accepting a new job though, we did the math and realized that with putting our kids back in daycare, gas for car, etc.. it would actually cost us well over 400 a week for me to go back to work. Is how we came up with the idea of my opening a daycare and just staying home..Chief cook, bottle washer & spider killer...Comment
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Glad you handled it well though!
The only pay exception I would ever consider making with my parents is an overtime waiver. Normally it is $1/minute after contracted pick up time (they are all contracted between 4-5:15 to pick up). With BAD weather I move it back to $1/minute after my closing time (5:30). I text the families if weather suddenly goes super bad that as long as they get here by 5:30 there are no fees. I figure I would rather have them get here at 5:30 than 6:30 because of an accident. I tend to follow the golden rule in a lot of my policies and have no issue terming if dcps take advantage of them. I have a waitlist, not worried
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This has been a rough week with this client
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It's like suddenly the DCD forgot everything that we talked about during the interview process. In my handbook I talk about contracted schedules and that if they are going to be late in dropping off or early in picking up they must let me know otherwise I may not be here. We go out a lot. I also talked to DCD about what times I do not allow drop offs or pick ups because I'm either picking up or dropping off other children or because of nap time. Last week and this week has been all over the place about his drop offs, pick ups have been fine. He's contracted for 8am-6pm and has dropped off sometimes at 8am, 8:30, 9am, sometimes as late as 10 without notice. I'm fine with that, I just go on with my day and it doesn't bother me. I did send a reminder text one morning this week that I have a drop off to do between 8:30 & 9am so that he wouldn't come at that time and have to wait around. I always say that I'll be gone longer than I really am to give myself a buffer. Today I didn't leave until 8:45 and as I'm pulling out he drives up so I park and we do the transfer. I didn't say anything because I know I sent a text reminding him and he looked a little irritated/sheepish I think he forgot but I think he was irritated AT ME, um I reminded you
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Oh and now that I think about it he was a little irritated last week because as he was picking DCG up and strapping her in the car she poo-pooed and he took her out and brought her back in to get a diaper. She blew out of her diaper while carrying her (she was having really soft stool from my food remember) and he apparently got a little poo-poo on his shirt while carrying her. Well he made a comment about poo-poo on the shirt and how it was borrowed and I think he may have been "blaming me" in a passive-aggressive way for some reason and all I remember thinking at the time was "why is he saying that?" and thinking "okay, so wash the shirt". Forgive me if I'm wrong but doesn't having kids have that automatic expectancy that you're going to get poo-poo, pee-pee, boogies, vomit, saliva and goodness knows what else (because sometimes even I look down at my shirt and think "what in heck IS THAT?"). Later that day the 4yo poo-poo'd his pants at home and the next day is when he had the "too much healthy food/fruit" talk. Hindsight is 20/20, this is probably what sparked "the talk" ::
Not if I can help it :: Either they'll put in their two weeks or I'll find replacements.
See this is what I would expect. It just seems like people would think to plan before they decide have children. And I understand that many out there may not agree with me but I believe that "doing the deed" without protection is a conscious decision in which you (general you) know that you may very well get pregnant and therefore that is a choice that you have decided to make. I do not accept the "it just happened", "it was unplanned" or even the whole "my contraception failed" because even with contraceptives there is a chance you may still get pregnant and this is something that everyone knows.
And this is coming from me who did have a baby at age 20 and my contraception failed (depo) but I knew there was a risk and chose to gamble ... I made my bed and I laid in it and took full responsibility. After that my husband and I sat down and worked out the finances before we decided to add more to the family. I just don't understand how more people don't plan better.Comment
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I TOTALLY agree with you on the having a baby comments. If you have sex, your child wasn't an "accident".This has been a rough week with this client.
It's like suddenly the DCD forgot everything that we talked about during the interview process. In my handbook I talk about contracted schedules and that if they are going to be late in dropping off or early in picking up they must let me know otherwise I may not be here. We go out a lot. I also talked to DCD about what times I do not allow drop offs or pick ups because I'm either picking up or dropping off other children or because of nap time. Last week and this week has been all over the place about his drop offs, pick ups have been fine. He's contracted for 8am-6pm and has dropped off sometimes at 8am, 8:30, 9am, sometimes as late as 10 without notice. I'm fine with that, I just go on with my day and it doesn't bother me. I did send a reminder text one morning this week that I have a drop off to do between 8:30 & 9am so that he wouldn't come at that time and have to wait around. I always say that I'll be gone longer than I really am to give myself a buffer. Today I didn't leave until 8:45 and as I'm pulling out he drives up so I park and we do the transfer. I didn't say anything because I know I sent a text reminding him and he looked a little irritated/sheepish I think he forgot but I think he was irritated AT ME, um I reminded you.
Oh and now that I think about it he was a little irritated last week because as he was picking DCG up and strapping her in the car she poo-pooed and he took her out and brought her back in to get a diaper. She blew out of her diaper while carrying her (she was having really soft stool from my food remember) and he apparently got a little poo-poo on his shirt while carrying her. Well he made a comment about poo-poo on the shirt and how it was borrowed and I think he may have been "blaming me" in a passive-aggressive way for some reason and all I remember thinking at the time was "why is he saying that?" and thinking "okay, so wash the shirt". Forgive me if I'm wrong but doesn't having kids have that automatic expectancy that you're going to get poo-poo, pee-pee, boogies, vomit, saliva and goodness knows what else (because sometimes even I look down at my shirt and think "what in heck IS THAT?"). Later that day the 4yo poo-poo'd his pants at home and the next day is when he had the "too much healthy food/fruit" talk. Hindsight is 20/20, this is probably what sparked "the talk" ::
Not if I can help it :: Either they'll put in their two weeks or I'll find replacements.
See this is what I would expect. It just seems like people would think to plan before they decide have children. And I understand that many out there may not agree with me but I believe that "doing the deed" without protection is a conscious decision in which you (general you) know that you may very well get pregnant and therefore that is a choice that you have decided to make. I do not accept the "it just happened", "it was unplanned" or even the whole "my contraception failed" because even with contraceptives there is a chance you may still get pregnant and this is something that everyone knows.
And this is coming from me who did have a baby at age 20 and my contraception failed (depo) but I knew there was a risk and chose to gamble ... I made my bed and I laid in it and took full responsibility. After that my husband and I sat down and worked out the finances before we decided to add more to the family. I just don't understand how more people don't plan better. (Rape or something like that, YES I can see how someone could say 'accidental pregnancy' as they didn't go into it on purpose) I think people do forget that there are risks in ANYTHING. Having sex, driving a car, etc.... and then when they take the risks, our government will let them win a lawsuit (example: Woman at hospital, she was alone in her room, she called the nurse and told her she wanted her blinds open, the nurse who told her she would be right there, the nurse was taking care of another patient, this patient didn't want to wait, climbed up on the little seat by the window trying to fiddle with the blinds, fell and broke her ankle, sues the hospital and wins even though the nurse was not negligent and it was not non-responsive to a medical issue!) People have ZERO accountability for their own actions and want everyone else to pick up the pieces from their messes.
And in daycare it's super bad. A client of mine was on child care subsidy and would refuse to pay her copay's citing inability to afford it. But she'd bring her 2 children Mc Donal'ds KIDS meals EVERY morning for breakfast (and then try to leave the bags with me!) I do mean ALL 5 days. It was "easier for her" than having them eat a bowl of cereal or a couple waffles. Her copay for TWO children? $80 per MONTH! The state covered the rest, but ONLY if I would certify she paid me. The first month she paid me late, but paid. The second month she paid me on time. The third month, she made one excuse after another each day I asked for the payment. I called the state and complained because I knew if I didn't certify she'd paid, I would not get my money. I did get paid from the state because I filed the complaint and they gave her til the end of the following month to give me both payments. She did not pay either month and I termed her. Meanwhile, SHE chose to have those kids and SHE chose to buy McD's every day for them instead of giving something else; SHE chose to go pay for nails done and her boyfriend's gas. It's like she expected me to do what she wanted me to do and keep the kids for FREE! Terming her was the best decision of my life. She was just one of many who didn't "plan" for either of her kids and wanted to do what SHE wanted to do while everyone else was expected (including her own kids) to bend over backward for her.Comment
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I have a family similar to this.
When I interviewed with them, I was almost
the WHOLE time because I could not believe I finally found a family that literally believed everything I did about raising kids and how they were going to parents (they were pregnant when I interviewed). I was "in love"....lovethis
Then they actually started daycare.
I've had them for almost 3 years now and they are probably the one family that I really really really do not enjoy having as clients.
It is no longer about what they believe but more about what's easiest. 
*sigh*
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I would love to see an example of your menu if you don't mind!
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Sure, here's how I got started. There are sample "real food" menu's.
100 Days of Real Food - Free Menu Plans
Now I also use meal plans from the National Food Service Management Institute and they give you recipes. The recipes are hard to find on the website though so I bookmarked that page separate MyPlate Recipes . These meal plans are meant for child care (servings for 25 children) but I follow those recipes anyway and we'll {my family} eat leftovers for dinner during the week and on weekends. For these recipes I just replace white flour with wheat flour, regular bread with whole wheat, canned/frozen fruits and veggies with fresh ones and buy organic condiments like Agave syrup instead of the regular maple syrup etc. I pretty much just shop on the outside ring of the store and stay away from a lot of the stuff in the middle aisles, especially the frozen foods sections.Comment
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Okay now it's my turn to vent.
I just took in a sibling set and this week is their third week here. When talking with this family I spoke mainly with DCD because he was a SAHD. Everything seemed great, DCD was on his game, went over policies with me, asked a lot of the right questions etc. Generally I got a good feeling.
DCD was waiting to start his new job. He and his wife came for the tour, the kids were behaved (DCB 4yo & DCG 1yo) and they seemed really positive. They took home my parent handbook DCD filled everything out and returned it along with my 2 week deposit and 2 weeks worth of daycare.
So the last 2 weeks were great and then last Friday he came and had a talk with me about his children's diet. Get this, so my family and I cut out the majority of processed foods and eat "real food" and I incorporated that into my DC. When the DCK's started they LOVED the food but both began to get the runs. I had spoken to DCD about it and chalked it up to the change in their diet because they were now eating fiber and lots of fresh fruits and veggies. So when he came last Friday to talk said that although he appreciated that we fed the DCKs healthy food (which I advertise like crazy on my website and say it in my handbook) could I not give them so much healthy food. I just responded by saying that I would cut down the amount of fruit that they ate and would replace it with veggies but that I had to provide the minimum requirements for the food program. He left and DCM picked up later and had no check.
We went out of town for the weekned but I sent an email reminder on Sunday when we got back through MMK with another letter with their login and temporary password (when I checked in to the electronic payments section in MMK I had noticed that they never logged in so I figured they lost the letter with their login info). So Monday I was closed and still no payment and Tuesday I sent a reminder text in the morning and finally got an email saying that he paid. So he comes in and apologizes for not paying and then says "I started the process online on Saturday but didn't get a chance to finish but I finished it this morning and paid". First of all as of Sunday he still hadn't even logged in because MMK tells you if they ever logged in so the lie detector test determined THAT was a lie..
Today he comes in and he looks a little "off" and I ask how his morning is going and he says that he and his wife had a talk last night about how his paycheck is basically going towards paying for DC. Um .... correct me if I'm wrong but aren't these things that you should think about BEFORE you actually accept a job and get child care? Wouldn't you think that it would be important to figure this stuff out beforehand? He was a SAHD after their littlest one was born because he was laid off so that part I understand, he didn't plan on losing his job but he chose to remain a SAHD until she turned 1yo and took this job. He applied for a position and for a certain amount and they told him that they could not give him what he was asking for yet they convinced him to stay by offering him a different position for less money and he took it.
So he's looking at me like maybe we can work something out and I just responded with "Yeah it's tough. If it wasn't for me doing daycare I never would have had my other two kids. My husband and I sat down and looked at our finances before we decided to add more. Kids are expensive." He just stared at me. Now I'm just going to wait for their 2 week notice
My first ever daycare family that I enrolled pulled this crap on me. They had a 3 year old girl and had just had a son. Dad came multiple times to meet with me, discussed everything, filled out all paperwork and paid the fees. The kids weren't starting for 3 weeks so I had them pre-pay to hold the spots. Well two days after paying me and everything the dad e-mails me and says him and his wife took a second look at their finances and realized they can't afford daycare. Wanted to know if they could get their money back! They decided to adjust their work schedules so one of them could always be home. I met with him 3 different times over 3 weeks and had discussed everything. Why did they wait until AFTER paying me to decide they couldn't afford it?!?!? Needless to say it was awful and I never again trusted a parent to actually stick to their word. Thankfully all my dcps since then have been awesome and I've had 0 issues. I think it was a blessing in disguise that they never worked out!
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Have you heard about agave nectar actually being worse than HFCS? I did a sugar detox last year and they had a lot of info on it. This blog (while
I know isn't a credible source) does a good job explaining what it actually is.http://www.foodrenegade.com/agave-nectar-good-or-bad/
I would switch to local honey and organic 100% maple syrup for sweeteners.Comment
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That really is a shame. I like the agave syrup. We dont have a local place to get honey. I'd have to drive about 45 minutes to get some and unfortunately I don't like real maple syrup, I don't like how it tastes. We don't use a syrup sweetener very often anyway so I guess a 45 minute drive drive to get a few jars of honey will be ok. As long as it keeps it will probably last us a pretty long time. Thanks for the info.Comment
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Here is the link to the recipe's I found on the site MV posted. I don't know if it is the same one she was using, but it is ALL the recipe's the site offers in alphabetical order
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