Parents & Lack of Planning - Vent

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  • MarinaVanessa
    Family Childcare Home
    • Jan 2010
    • 7211

    Parents & Lack of Planning - Vent

    Okay now it's my turn to vent.

    I just took in a sibling set and this week is their third week here. When talking with this family I spoke mainly with DCD because he was a SAHD. Everything seemed great, DCD was on his game, went over policies with me, asked a lot of the right questions etc. Generally I got a good feeling.

    DCD was waiting to start his new job. He and his wife came for the tour, the kids were behaved (DCB 4yo & DCG 1yo) and they seemed really positive. They took home my parent handbook DCD filled everything out and returned it along with my 2 week deposit and 2 weeks worth of daycare.

    So the last 2 weeks were great and then last Friday he came and had a talk with me about his children's diet. Get this, so my family and I cut out the majority of processed foods and eat "real food" and I incorporated that into my DC. When the DCK's started they LOVED the food but both began to get the runs. I had spoken to DCD about it and chalked it up to the change in their diet because they were now eating fiber and lots of fresh fruits and veggies. So when he came last Friday to talk said that although he appreciated that we fed the DCKs healthy food (which I advertise like crazy on my website and say it in my handbook) could I not give them so much healthy food. I just responded by saying that I would cut down the amount of fruit that they ate and would replace it with veggies but that I had to provide the minimum requirements for the food program. He left and DCM picked up later and had no check .

    We went out of town for the weekned but I sent an email reminder on Sunday when we got back through MMK with another letter with their login and temporary password (when I checked in to the electronic payments section in MMK I had noticed that they never logged in so I figured they lost the letter with their login info). So Monday I was closed and still no payment and Tuesday I sent a reminder text in the morning and finally got an email saying that he paid. So he comes in and apologizes for not paying and then says "I started the process online on Saturday but didn't get a chance to finish but I finished it this morning and paid". First of all as of Sunday he still hadn't even logged in because MMK tells you if they ever logged in so the lie detector test determined THAT was a lie. .

    Today he comes in and he looks a little "off" and I ask how his morning is going and he says that he and his wife had a talk last night about how his paycheck is basically going towards paying for DC. Um .... correct me if I'm wrong but aren't these things that you should think about BEFORE you actually accept a job and get child care? Wouldn't you think that it would be important to figure this stuff out beforehand? He was a SAHD after their littlest one was born because he was laid off so that part I understand, he didn't plan on losing his job but he chose to remain a SAHD until she turned 1yo and took this job. He applied for a position and for a certain amount and they told him that they could not give him what he was asking for yet they convinced him to stay by offering him a different position for less money and he took it.

    So he's looking at me like maybe we can work something out and I just responded with "Yeah it's tough. If it wasn't for me doing daycare I never would have had my other two kids. My husband and I sat down and looked at our finances before we decided to add more. Kids are expensive." He just stared at me. Now I'm just going to wait for their 2 week notice
  • Kabob
    Daycare.com Member
    • Jun 2013
    • 1106

    #2
    I hear you! I just had a family term because dcd's job situation changed so they wanted me to make an exception. Uh no. Not worth it. Also really weird that they thought your food was too healthy. I guess to each their own. If they leave then it's their loss...

    Comment

    • melilley
      Daycare.com Member
      • Oct 2012
      • 5155

      #3
      Geez, I wonder what they eat at home? You would think they would be happy with their children eating healthy foods!

      This is one subject that always bugs me. I chose to quit working outside of the house and open my dc in order to have another baby. We decided to try to have one more, but that was after we sat down and figured out finances and if we could make it work if I had to let a dck go.

      And then you have parents like the ones you mentioned.

      I have a set of those parents too. Dcm always has a sob story of this being turned off or they have to sell their huge camper, or their mortgage may not get paid this month or this or that and my fav. was when everyone's power went out and I had to close, they still had to pay (it was the week of Christmas and I was only supposed to be open 2 days anyways) because I had personal days left. Dcm called and had the nerve to ask if she could not pay since L didn't come all week and she said dcd's job lost power so he couldn't work (it was a lie I'm pretty sure)...uhhh no. And then mom would complain about food when she admitted to getting WIC and throwing stuff away.

      WHY did you have not one but 2 kids then. What did you think was going to happen? DUH!

      I'm so with you, parents need to plan better!

      Comment

      • KidGrind
        Daycare.com Member
        • Sep 2013
        • 1099

        #4
        :roll eyes: Oh boy!

        I experienced a similar situation with potential clients. They decided the SAHM would be spending her income on childcare. They wanted me to cut them a deal. I declined.

        1. Mom was going crazy at home & didn’t know how I deal with kids all day. Working is much easier than taking care of kids.

        2. I have some of the lowest rates in my area.

        They called 3 days before her job was suppose to start to tell me they wanted to start care and could I wait until her first paycheck to be paid. I told them they weren’t a right fit.

        Junk food addict here! A change to healthy food with definitely cause diarrhea or loose bowel movements. It’s temporary though once your system gets use to the good stuff.

        Comment

        • melilley
          Daycare.com Member
          • Oct 2012
          • 5155

          #5
          Originally posted by Kabob
          I hear you! I just had a family term because dcd's job situation changed so they wanted me to make an exception. Uh no. Not worth it. Also really weird that they thought your food was too healthy. I guess to each their own. If they leave then it's their loss...
          I can't believe parents even have the nerve to even ask us to make exceptions for them. I would never put someone in that position!

          Comment

          • Kabob
            Daycare.com Member
            • Jun 2013
            • 1106

            #6
            Originally posted by melilley
            I can't believe parents even have the nerve to even ask us to make exceptions for them. I would never put someone in that position!
            I guess everyone is special in their own way.

            Comment

            • MarinaVanessa
              Family Childcare Home
              • Jan 2010
              • 7211

              #7
              Originally posted by melilley
              Geez, I wonder what they eat at home? You would think they would be happy with their children eating healthy foods!
              Frozen corn dogs and chicken nuggets. The saddest part is that they both absolutely loved the food. I serve pretty simple foods and try to do fresh raw fruits and veggies as much as possible. When I originally mentioned this and that I served no juice they said their kids would probably just not eat the veggies and that they didn't like water. Most kids take 2 weeks or so to get used to my food but both of them gave no trouble with any of it.

              Originally posted by KidGrind
              :roll eyes: Oh boy!
              I experienced a similar situation with potential clients.

              2. I have some of the lowest rates in my area.

              Junk food addict here! A change to healthy food with definitely cause diarrhea or loose bowel movements. It’s temporary though once your system gets use to the good stuff.
              And that's the thing, I'm not the cheapest in town but I'm the cheapest in my area. They can get care closer to their side of town vs my side but they are looking for quality I think. Daycare closer to them costs about $125 week and I'm pretty sure that they'd be given a sibling discount. I charge $165 and agreed to give them a discount of %10 (applied to the older child) and somehow I goofed and accidentally gave them my old rate of $160 week so they got 2 discounts. Don't ask me how I goofed. I'm still kicking myself. Other providers in my area are in the $175 range.

              Plus I'm driving to mid-town to drop offand pick up DCB. Because of this I couldn't pick up my nephew or daughter from school because the times interfere with one another so another provider is picking up my nephew and dropping him off to my house 3 times a week and the other 2 days I pick him up from the provider after I drop off DCB. Not to mention that I enrolled my DD in that providers DC after school (she also wanted to though) and that's costing me an extra $400.

              I'm already doing too much, I'm not giving any more breaks.

              And yes, when we first started eating healthier we all had loose stool and I did say this to the DCD. It didn't help

              I'm just going to do myself a favor and advertise again. I got tired just rereading that back to myself.

              Comment

              • melilley
                Daycare.com Member
                • Oct 2012
                • 5155

                #8
                Originally posted by MarinaVanessa
                Frozen corn dogs and chicken nuggets. The saddest part is that they both absolutely loved the food. I serve pretty simple foods and try to do fresh raw fruits and veggies as much as possible. When I originally mentioned this and that I served no juice they said their kids would probably just not eat the veggies and that they didn't like water. Most kids take 2 weeks or so to get used to my food but both of them gave no trouble with any of it.


                Maybe they don't know how to eat healthy and what is actually healthy. Embarrassingly enough, I used to be that way. I have worked in a center for 14 yrs. and they served a lot of processed foods, but when I was younger, I was like "geez, these kids eat really good lunches and they're even like dinners" and my mom did cook semi nutritious dinners, but a lot weren't so healthy, so I really didn't realize what was healthy and what was not until a few years ago...

                Comment

                • cheerfuldom
                  Advanced Daycare.com Member
                  • Dec 2010
                  • 7413

                  #9
                  well either they are shopping around at daycares and seeing if you can compete with a cheaper daycare OR they really did not plan well for this job and now that they have to face what their days are like, they are not wanting to adjust to that small take home check. The fact that he already is lying about payment and not verbally saying for sure what they are going to do, sort of makes me think they have a plan B for daycare already lined up and weren't really planning to pay this last payment anyway. He probably wouldnt have except you were sending reminders and obviously are very organized and on top of the issue. Its never what they say it is, at least not usually. Who terms/complains over food being too healthy? when their kids are clearly eating it and you advertised this portion of the program in several ways? He is just lining up reasons why your daycare is not working for him so it will be easier for him when he gives notice. Similar thing happened to me last week. Caught the parents in several lies as well as very weak excuses about why my daycare was not going to work out meanwhile dropping hints that maybe it would work if I stayed open more hours for them (no) or took fewer kids (no again).

                  Comment

                  • KidGrind
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Sep 2013
                    • 1099

                    #10
                    Originally posted by MarinaVanessa
                    Frozen corn dogs and chicken nuggets. The saddest part is that they both absolutely loved the food. I serve pretty simple foods and try to do fresh raw fruits and veggies as much as possible. When I originally mentioned this and that I served no juice they said their kids would probably just not eat the veggies and that they didn't like water. Most kids take 2 weeks or so to get used to my food but both of them gave no trouble with any of it.



                    And that's the thing, I'm not the cheapest in town but I'm the cheapest in my area. They can get care closer to their side of town vs my side but they are looking for quality I think. Daycare closer to them costs about $125 week and I'm pretty sure that they'd be given a sibling discount. I charge $165 and agreed to give them a discount of %10 (applied to the older child) and somehow I goofed and accidentally gave them my old rate of $160 week so they got 2 discounts. Don't ask me how I goofed. I'm still kicking myself. Other providers in my area are in the $175 range.

                    Plus I'm driving to mid-town to drop offand pick up DCB. Because of this I couldn't pick up my nephew or daughter from school because the times interfere with one another so another provider is picking up my nephew and dropping him off to my house 3 times a week and the other 2 days I pick him up from the provider after I drop off DCB. Not to mention that I enrolled my DD in that providers DC after school (she also wanted to though) and that's costing me an extra $400.

                    I'm already doing too much, I'm not giving any more breaks.

                    And yes, when we first started eating healthier we all had loose stool and I did say this to the DCD. It didn't help

                    I'm just going to do myself a favor and advertise again. I got tired just rereading that back to myself.
                    Food for thought! (I crack myself up.)

                    Some parents don’t want their kids eating healthy because they think it’s work to feed them healthy. You know opening a bag of baby carrots or rinsing off an apple is hard work.

                    I am rooting for you! My hope is the next parents that enroll with you will appreciate all you do!

                    Comment

                    • renodeb
                      Daycare.com Member
                      • Jan 2011
                      • 837

                      #11
                      I have a current client who is always moaning about how much he pays for dc, funny thing is they added a day. Parents just don't get it. Doesn't sound like they will be with you very long .

                      Comment

                      • TwinKristi
                        Family Childcare Provider
                        • Aug 2013
                        • 2390

                        #12
                        Ugh, I hate when parents put their financial issues on you like daycare is what's REALLY breaking the bank. Not their new car, or nice house, or nice clothes, or fun vacations, but daycare! They would easily pay more for a meal than they would for a day of daycare and wouldn't even bat an eye at the meal tab but want to complain about the cost of someone CARING for their child! not just tossing some chicken nuggets and French fries, but actually caring for them day in and day out. Changing their nasty diapers, wiping their snotty noses, hugging them when they're sad. I'm pretty average for my area, $225/wk. If it's PT it's more like $150/wk.

                        Comment

                        • melilley
                          Daycare.com Member
                          • Oct 2012
                          • 5155

                          #13
                          Originally posted by TwinKristi
                          Ugh, I hate when parents put their financial issues on you like daycare is what's REALLY breaking the bank. Not their new car, or nice house, or nice clothes, or fun vacations, but daycare! They would easily pay more for a meal than they would for a day of daycare and wouldn't even bat an eye at the meal tab but want to complain about the cost of someone CARING for their child! not just tossing some chicken nuggets and French fries, but actually caring for them day in and day out. Changing their nasty diapers, wiping their snotty noses, hugging them when they're sad. I'm pretty average for my area, $225/wk. If it's PT it's more like $150/wk.
                          Yes! My family who does this, has complained and has called me from a drive through lane! And they also somehow had enough money to buy another dog. :confused:

                          Comment

                          • daycarediva
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Jul 2012
                            • 11698

                            #14
                            I hear financial woes from clients all the time. I am NOT polite about it, partly because I do NOT live extravagantly, and save for famine times. No new cars, vacations, take out 3 nights a week.

                            I think you handled it beautifully, love your response MV!

                            I had a dcm tell me she was short and took cash out to pay me, putting her into over draft and a check would bounce. She actually said "If daycare wasn't so expensive....." and I responded "Kids ARE expensive." and took the cash. BTW-- her new car is also expensive and her dh drives a MUSTANG. Yep, daycare costs are killing you.

                            Comment

                            • Lil'DinoEggs
                              Daycare.com Member
                              • Aug 2013
                              • 198

                              #15
                              Originally posted by melilley
                              Maybe they don't know how to eat healthy and what is actually healthy. Embarrassingly enough, I used to be that way. I have worked in a center for 14 yrs. and they served a lot of processed foods, but when I was younger, I was like "geez, these kids eat really good lunches and they're even like dinners" and my mom did cook semi nutritious dinners, but a lot weren't so healthy, so I really didn't realize what was healthy and what was not until a few years ago...
                              Oh my, I was the same way! I grew up on chicken nuggets, fish sticks, drumsticks. I had cold cereal for breakfast, pb&j or bologna with little debbie for lunch. Granted my parents always made sure I had the standard meat, veggie, and carb on my plate. I thought we were healthy because at the time they basically were saying just fast food was bad. It is only recently did the dangers of "process foods" enter the mainstream.

                              My brother and sister grew up to be picky eaters (I wonder why). Luckily, I ventured off and realized, I can make my own baked chicken and fish nuggets from real chicken and fish. And did you know there were other veggies besides corn and green beans. And hummus! Both sides of our family are shocked at what my kids like because my husband and I did not grow that way.

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