No Card Or Gift From DCP..How Does It Make You Feel?

[Soccermom]

Just wondering how you all honestly feel when a DCP doesn't offer you a card or small gift at Christmas.

I know a lot of people are not in a position to spend tons of money on their DP for Christmas but no card...no homemade little ornament from the kids?

If I am being honest with myself, it bothers me. I feel very underappreciated. I like to think that I am an important part of their child's life and Christmas is such a wonderful, if not the only, time that we get a little acknowledgement or a thank you for what we do all year long.

A handwritten card with kind words in it makes me want to continue doing what I do. No appreciation makes me want to throw in the towel. KWIM?

[sally]

I gave my dcks a small gift, each a coloring book and crayons, and 1 of the dc families got my kids a nice story book to read to them. But nothing from the others.

[TwinKristi]

One of my 3 didn't do anything which kinda made me a little :confused: but whatever. The other 2 did and I appreciate it.

[melonieb]

I gave all my DCKs small things, but rec'd nothing. Not even a merry Christmas or happy holidays. I wasn't really expecting anything since I only have been open 6 months. Oh well, better luck next year

[Stepping]

Just wondering how you all honestly feel when a DCP doesn't offer you a card or small gift at Christmas.

I know a lot of people are not in a position to spend tons of money on their DP for Christmas but no card...no homemade little ornament from the kids?

If I am being honest with myself, it bothers me. I feel very underappreciated. I like to think that I am an important part of their child's life and Christmas is such a wonderful, if not the only, time that we get a little acknowledgement or a thank you for what we do all year long.

A handwritten card with kind words in it makes me want to continue doing what I do. No appreciation makes me want to throw in the towel. KWIM?

I had two families that did that this year! I would have appreciated a small note or card to say thanks. I think they either can't be bothered to make the effort or they just don't think about it.

I got some lovely cards and gifts off the other families so I'm trying not to dwell on the reasons why these parents chose to do nothing

[craftymissbeth]

No one gave me anything... but I honestly don't care. A little bit of appreciation for helping raise their children would be nice, but really they aren't my friends so it's ok that they didn't think of me.

[MCC]

I got a very nice gift from 5 out of 6 of my families ($100 cash from all, $200 from the one with siblings). The 6th family gave me nothing, no card, not even a Merry Christmas. I honestly was shocked. I do know that I am very lucky to have been given those generous gifts from the rest, but it really isn't sitting right with me that this one family didn't. They are also by far my most difficult family, and kid. DCM is also the sister of another DCM that gave me $100, so that blew my mind even more. Oh well, I've decided to move on and get over it, but it did feel kinda crappy.

[cheerfuldom]

I got one small gift from one family, one nicer gift from another family. These are both new families so I was not expecting anything at all this year. The one family I have worked with for 2 years did not even say Merry Christmas. No surprise that they are also the most difficult to work with. Last year I had several families that I had worked with for years and they each gave me a full weeks pay as a bonus!

[sharlan]

I have one mom who has never given me anything. It doesn't faze me at all.

[Scout]

In all honesty, I don't care. Times are tough and my families are half songle parents. One gave me a bonus in their check(I cried because of the awesome texts we were sendong back and forth about how she is so thankful she found me) and another got me a little throw. I did not expect anything so I was blown away. I will add that when my kids went to someone's home while I worked I only got her a gift our first year. Money was way too tight after that. I don't think she minded either. I just go with the flow. I rarely have problems from my families so I think of that as a gift!::

[Unregistered]

Here is what hurts my feelings.

When you bust your rear to raise these children (many times WE are the ones raising them when we're doing 10/12/14 hr days)

and you can't even get a handwritten card from the kid from the parent as a thank you. Or a simple ornament ($1 at the dollar store), or even a "Thank you for everything you do" or a "Merry Christmas" I'm worth THAT little when I get paid practically nothing to keep your child, your flesh and blood, your entire life, safe and happy? Seriously, saying Merry Christmas to someone you know celebrates (especially if you ALSO celebrate) costs....



NOTHING! Not a darn thing. So why on Earth would you "forget" to say it to a person who is this important in your life?

[Lucy]

$25 gift card from one of my 3 families, which was AWESOME in my view!! That's all I would want. More than I would want, actually. She had a beautiful little card where she wrote how much she appreciates everything I do for them.

The other 2 families? Who have been with me for 9 Christmases for one, and 3 Christmases for the other and KNOW that I give gifts from me, and have the kids make a gift from them, AND gave me a gift the last several years?? Nothing.

As the OP said, if I'm being honest with myself, yes it does bother me. Hurts my feelings I guess is the way to describe it. Makes me wonder what their inner dialogue was regarding whether or not to give me something. They had received their gifts from me and from the kids on Monday the 23rd, so even if they forgot, they could've run out and gotten something.

And I'm not greedy. It' not the gift itself or even the dollar value of it. It's the message it sends. Even a pretty card with a note of gratitude would've been just fine to me.

[itlw8]

not this year it surprised me not even the cookies I usually get from one family. She did remember I wanted apple salsa from Aldi and when she saw it she picked it up. Plus two of the moms wrote letters for me that were over the top. I am sure they helped me win that award AND no one complained when I took off to get it for 3 days...

Money is tight for all my families right now I still feel appreciated.

[Lucy]

I guess my disappointment/hurt feelings or whatever come from the fact that if it were reversed, I would definitely give my Provider at least something small and a short note. Just a few words.

My mom goes to an Alzheimer's Day Center 2-3 times per week. When you break it down, it's pretty much like what goes on in a preschool as far as the crafts and activities, occasional field trips, games, mind stimulating games, things like that. Anyway, the 2 ladies that are the directors are so awesome. They really show that they enjoy what they're doing, genuinely like the "participants" as they call them, and are just good at coming up with their monthly calendar of events and such. Anyway, I bought each of them a mug with a little ornament and some of those Ferrero Rochet (sp?) candies. On the little gift card I wrote, "Thank you for all you do. Mom and I really appreciate you!!"

So I guess what I'm saying is that the perspective each of us has on this subject comes from what WE would do in the parents' position. That's how I see it anyway!

[nanglgrl]

All but one of my families gave me gifts including gift cards to my favorite stores, candles, fuzzy socks and wonderful cards. I would be happy with just cards from every family as long as they wrote something from the heart inside. I wouldn't even care if it was a recycled card that had names crossed out or a homemade card but the one family can't even say merry Christmas or thanks. They knew I got gifts from every parent but them, they've been with me the longest and since I'm in school mom is always saying things like "You better keep doing daycare because X is staying with you until he doesn't need daycare anymore"..I won't even finish my BA for another 1 1/2 years at the least (going part time) at which point her child will be in kindergarten and I don't watch school agers. I seriously think she thinks I will make an exception for her child. Anyway, it's THAT family. The one that sends their child sick, pushes every button and tries to bend every policy. I think they think of my paid days off around Christmas as my gift. It burns a little but I kind of expect it from them because that's just who they are, if one of my really sweet, awesome dcp didn't get me a card I would probably be sad.