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[Pammie]

Like previous posters - I make it very clear to my clients that my "open door policy" is meant for Mom and Dad - or legal guardians only.

I would suggest (in the sweetest tone that I could muster) that if grandpa wants to spend time with the kids, that with parent's advance permission, he's welcome to pick them up from daycare any day after lunch, and keep them for the afternoon - full daycare fees apply though

[Blackcat31]

i don't think the relatives having time off is really relevant. my mother doesn't work and never did, but my kids went to daycare. of course, she also watched oprah while i walked to work and back (rain, shine, snow, dark) as a teenager. literally, it was raining once when had to go to work and she told me to get an umbrella. on the other hand, my husband's mom broke her neck to keep my kids (even my daughter who isn't her grandchild) when she retired, but not everyone is cut from the same mold.

Ooops, sorry I didn't mean to imply that the relative should be the daycare provider, I just meant if they wanted to spend some time with them, they could schedule a day to have them for an hour or a day or whatever works so that it was their special time with the child. Grandpa obviously wants to spend some time with the child. If he is unable to take child on his own, then I do think he should be visiting child during time child is with parents. I doubt dropping in for a visit would fly well when the kid gets to Kindergarten.
My MIL was home too, when my kids were little and they still went to daycare every day too. I only meant there should be other times that would work for Grandpa to visit that didn't put provider out.

[BentleysBands]

i never got a chance to give mom a letter so i'm sure to expect his appearance since we r having a party today UGH!!

talking w/her about it all this weekend. i appreicate all the advice on ways to handle it!! thanks

[Unregistered]

I had a similar problem with one of my day care families. The dcm's sister and brother used to stop by often and at odd times. They would come in so quietly that I wouldn't know they were standing in my kitchen until I walked out there to get something or if we were playing outside, instead of coming through the breezeway directly into the yard, they would sneak around my garage and stand behind the wall watching us play until I spotted them. I always had the feeling they were trying to catch me doing something wrong and it got really annoying. The aunt was there one day and actually answered my door when the doorbell rang. She told the person at the door just to walk in next time! That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I spoke with the mom, telling her that while I have an open door policy and she was welcome at any time, it's meant for parents and guardians only. I explained that it was just too disruptive to have additional family members coming and going all the time. I also added that information into my parent handbook. This way, parents know up-front that the open door policy is meant for them and no one else. I"ve never run into that problem since but if I do, I would feel more comfortable addressing it since it is in the handbook and they should know better.