Help

[BentleysBands]

at my wits end with a family of 2 dck's...im not looking to term...but i'm feeling like a visitation of family vrs. family childcare....the grandfather comes 1 -2 x a week to pop in..any time he feels like it....started with bringing a snack each week for all the kids then has now (this week) turned into coming every day. dcm's sister came monday and i told dcm she is no longer welcome to come since when she was here she bashed dcm badly...i haven't stood my ground since this is the first time i've ever dealt w/this issue....he doesnt come for long but its so irritating...he gets all the kids hyper and i feel like i have to stop what i'm doing to entertain him and monitor the kids. most times i have 2 kids sleeping and they get woken up. since i havent said anything and this has been going on for a month now what do i say?? i'm so afraid if i say something it will look like i'm hiding something since i always stress i have an open door policy. i just feel so 'fake' when hes here,esp when its not been a good day kwim?

any suggestions?

[newtodaycare22]

There is really no easy way around this. You just have to tell them that this is NOT ok. Explain that you have an open door policy but constant visits are interruptions to the children's daily schedules. It's your job to do what is best for the children in your care. They simply have to respect it or...there's the door::

[momofsix]

you could blame it on licensing rules-any adult that spends an extended period of time in the home while daycare kids are there needs a records clearance, fingerprints, tb test...i'm sure that would not be something he would want to do!
i totally understand about feeling "fake", and you shouldn't have to in your own home!

[BentleysBands]

i'm not licensed BUT i was thinking of saying that another parent heard a grandparent was visiting from her kid and just wasnt comfortable with it...?? since she has never met...grrr

[Blackcat31]

Maybe tell dcm that open door policy applies to the dc kid's parents not the entire extended family. Extended family members should be visiting on family time, not daycare time...how odd...... It would make me feel completely uncomfortable as well. Plus if dcm has so many relatives that can just pop in all the time, why aren' they watching the dc kids rather then coming to daycare? Just wondering. I would definitely tell mom though that it is awkward and let her handle it.

[countrymom]

I would use the excuse that a parent doesn't want a grandparent of another child visiting all the time. thats just creepy and very inconsiderate to drop in any time.

[BentleysBands]

Maybe tell dcm that open door policy applies to the dc kid's parents not the entire extended family. Extended family members should be visiting on family time, not daycare time...how odd...... It would make me feel completely uncomfortale as well. Plus if dcm has so many relatives that can just pop in all the time, why aren' they watching the dc kids rather then coming to daycare? Just wondering. I would definitely tell mom though that it is awkward and let her handle it.

funny thing, they were lOL and then had some family drama and she needed daycare asap...i feel the same as what u said, visit at night then at home

[marniewon]

Invoke the following rule: I have an open door policy - you may visit your child at any time that you would like. However, since child will think it's time to go home when you come in, please be prepared to take child with you when you leave. AND I agree with the pp who said that the "open door policy" ONLY pertains to parents of dck, not extended family.

Send this home in a letter to all parents, but tell mom in person that it makes you uncomfortable. This way she can show grandpa the "new" rule without any hard feelings.

Sheesh - you are running a daycare, not a family reunion meeting place!!

[MyAngels]

Maybe you should just let them know that this is a disruption to your day - basically exactly what you said here - and that it's upsetting to all the children in your care. That is a perfectly valid reason for the visits to be limited and doesn't indicate that you have anything to hide IMO. I would be concerned with someone bringing in outside food, as well, since it's become a regular thing rather than the occasional treats that parents sometimes bring for birthdays and the like.

[Live and Learn]

MARNIEWON. Is completely right.
That is so strange. Everyday?!?! Give me a break.

[BentleysBands]

i appreciate everyones help!!

he texted me at 2pm and said he was running late doing errands and couldnt stop by today...wth?

writing mom a note today

[missnikki]

i appreciate everyones help!!

he texted me at 2pm and said he was running late doing errands and couldnt stop by today...wth?

writing mom a note today

Hmmm, sounds like there's more than meets the eye going on here. Do you get the feeling that grandpa is there to visit you, too? Or did he text you because he's promised the child he would visit, and you are now supposed to let this child down with the bad news?

I agree with MARNIEWON, new policy, effective immediately: one man enters, two men leave. Don't put it that way, though.

[misol]

Maybe tell dcm that open door policy applies to the dc kid's parents not the entire extended family. Extended family members should be visiting on family time, not daycare time...how odd...... It would make me feel completely uncomfortable as well. Plus if dcm has so many relatives that can just pop in all the time, why aren' they watching the dc kids rather then coming to daycare? Just wondering. I would definitely tell mom though that it is awkward and let her handle it.

My thoughts exactly.

[QualiTcare]

well, i'd be careful - JMO.

i'd let the mother know that there's an open door policy for parents only like a pp said, BUT i'd suggest if the grandfather wants to visit that he visits one day per week (maybe on friday). i know how you feel bc i've been a daycare provider and a teacher and it can be weird when you feel like family members are lingering over you. i had a mom (whose child was a hellian) in kindergarten that always wanted to "volunteer." i think she was more interested in supervising than volunteering, but whatever.

now, my son is in preschool and my daughter's in first grade, and even though i'd love to hang out at school and help - i don't. i've told their teachers i'm available to volunteer anytime they want me to, and of course they said, "oh, u can come whenever you want," but i still haven't gone because they haven't asked me to and they know i'll come if they actually need/want me. plus, i think they'll feel like i'm judging them since i'm a teacher, and i'd hate that. even when there's a party that says, "parents welcome," i always ask, "do you REALLY want parents to come?" i never cared about parents coming to parties, but sometimes there were just so many around - it was annoying.

i have started eating lunch with my daughter once a week, but that's in the cafeteria and not during class time - and it's an incentive for her cus she talks too much at school. maybe you could suggest if he just has to come that he comes during lunch when he does come (if u can agree to once a week). i'm sure the grandpa means no harm. he's probably just retired and has no life other than his grandchild.

[QualiTcare]

Maybe tell dcm that open door policy applies to the dc kid's parents not the entire extended family. Extended family members should be visiting on family time, not daycare time...how odd...... It would make me feel completely uncomfortable as well. Plus if dcm has so many relatives that can just pop in all the time, why aren' they watching the dc kids rather then coming to daycare? Just wondering. I would definitely tell mom though that it is awkward and let her handle it.

i don't think the relatives having time off is really relevant. my mother doesn't work and never did, but my kids went to daycare. of course, she also watched oprah while i walked to work and back (rain, shine, snow, dark) as a teenager. literally, it was raining once when had to go to work and she told me to get an umbrella. on the other hand, my husband's mom broke her neck to keep my kids (even my daughter who isn't her grandchild) when she retired, but not everyone is cut from the same mold.