How Elf On A Shelf Ruined Our Christmas - Blog Post

[MarinaVanessa]

Yes, I rolled my eyes. I came upon this article about "elf on a shelf" which in reality turned into how devastated a 6yo girl was when she found out that Elf had to return "home" until the following Christmas.

All I heard throughout this article by the parent of the child was about their child at age six being devastated because she was going to lose her friend that she thought at that point was as real as Santa Claus. Am I the only one here that saw the potential for a teachable moment about regulation ones emotions when one had to say goodbye to someone they loved? Not to mention about how attached this little girl became to her "elf" in such a short period of time, it just doesn't seem healthy to me. Almost like she needed a secure attachment, but that may be a far stretch.

Instead the parents decide that instead of softening the blow by helping her navigate and regulate her emotions they instead decide to ... well I'll let you read the blog.

PS: I know that some here don't do "elf on a shelf" and some go beyond that and don't do "Santa" either ... this post isn't about that. For me it's about, once again, a parent wanting to shelter their child so that their feelings won't be hurt instead of teaching them that in the real world we feel sad, angry, upset, frustrated etc. and THAT'S OKAY! We need to find ways to help children cope with their emotions, not make them worse or do quick fixes.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matt-pelc/how-the-elf-on-the-shelf-ruined-our-christmas_b_4435749.html?ncid=webmail2

[Blackcat31]

We need to find ways to help children cope with their emotions, not make them worse or do quick fixes.

THAT ^^^^ is the answer to ALOT of things wrong with parenting now days.

[DaycareMom]

I completely agree with you that children need to cope with their emotions.
With that being said, can someone please explain to me the fascination with Elf on the Shelf???
I don't get it. We already have Santa, and from what I know about EOTS, you are not allowed to touch the Elf?!?! Here is a Christmas toy, but you can't play with it?
Some people use it to get their child(ren) to behave ... your child(ren) should behave because of YOU - not an elf.
I have heard so many stories like this blog. That the kid gets attached and then cries when the Elf has to go home.
Some people say it keeps the magic alive during the Christmas season and don't get me wrong - I love all the FB pics and creative ideas people have for their Elf, but I just think it's overkill. It seems like EOTS has taken Santa's place.
I miss Santa!!!

[Meeko]

Yep...eye rolls here too.

What are they going to do when she decides that she's devastated about a neighborhood friend moving away? Tell the family they can't leave due to the emotional toll on their daughter?

Or Grandma can't leave after a visit because that would upset Princess?

If she really likes a doll her friend has, I wonder if her parents would insist on taking it home with them because their daughter likes it and it would traumatize her not to have it in HER home?

If they had really READ the Elf On The Shelf book to their daughter and discussed it with her, she would have understood that the elf does not belong to her. He belongs to Santa and his home is the North Pole. He does nothing more than VISIT. He wants to do his job and then go home. Children (especially a 6 year old) can perfectly understand these concepts.

According to the tale, the elf is not to be touched or his magic will vanish, but they let their little madam snuggle it??????!!!!!!!!!

I have used the elf for the past 5 or 6 years and we have so much fun. They have never touched him (I keep him up high where he can see them well They happily say and wave goodbye the last day of daycare before Christmas. Then we look forward to seeing him next year.

This article just proves how parents are too scared to say no to their children or to let them experience any negative emotions at all. That child is going to have a very rough time with life as she gets older.

As for the photo at the end.....doesn't look like a happy little girl to me. Looks like a smug one. Such a shame.

[Meeko]

I completely agree with you that children need to cope with their emotions.
With that being said, can someone please explain to me the fascination with Elf on the Shelf???
I don't get it. We already have Santa, and from what I know about EOTS, you are not allowed to touch the Elf?!?! Here is a Christmas toy, but you can't play with it?
Some people use it to get their child(ren) to behave ... your child(ren) should behave because of YOU - not an elf.
I have heard so many stories like this blog. That the kid gets attached and then cries when the Elf has to go home.
Some people say it keeps the magic alive during the Christmas season and don't get me wrong - I love all the FB pics and creative ideas people have for their Elf, but I just think it's overkill. It seems like EOTS has taken Santa's place.
I miss Santa!!!

In the few years I have been using The Elf on The Shelf, I can't imagine Christmas without him now!

The kids walk through the door so excited every morning and look to see where he is hiding today. Then they can't wait to point him out to their parents at pick up.

But the best part for me is when they talk to him. The story book tells the children that even though he can't talk to them, he can listen and he tells Santa their dreams and wishes. When they think nobody is watching, the kids will talk with such wonder in their eyes and whisper to him. It makes it magical for me too.

[Soccermom]

Gotta love the face on that little girl in the last picture. Her whole face just screams - Look at me, I got what I wanted!

Kids are so spoiled these days.

But the Elf on Shelf has always seemed really strange to me. It is confusing and what happens when you forget to move the darn thing?

My 9 year old DD asked me this year why we don't have an elf on the shelf. I told her it was because we don't need one since Santa knows they are good kids. She said " Good because I think they are creepy! " LOL

[Blackcat31]

I have a DCD that uses the Elf year round.

He dresses the elf up in St Patrick's day, Easter, 4th of July, Halloween etc costumes.

He said it helps keep his son on his best behavior. ::

I'm not sure if this dad is a genius or if he is just setting his kid up worse...

[daycarediva]

We don't do Santa, eots, the easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc.

I got a LOT of flack from my family for making those decisions for my kids.

They still believe in the magic and spirit of Christmas, they believe in giving, they actively participate in toys for tots, blanket making for the homeless, food shelter baskets and each year each of my kids chose a child to gift (salvation army tree). Because they KNOW Santa isn't real, they understand and value the importance of these things all the more.


Last year my 10yo niece threw a massive fit Christmas day (screaming, crying, throwing things, foot stomping, door slamming FIT) about Santa not giving her everything on her list. As my brother placated her, my SIL got dressed to go to the store with her to FINISH HER CHRISTMAS SHOPPING because Santa MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN SOME THINGS.

My kids were disgusted. We packed up and left my mothers house and went home IMMEDIATELY.

THAT ruined Christmas. Spoiled, selfish, entitled BRATS with no kindness, no concept of the true meaning of Christmas and parents who enabled her to behave that way.

To make my point further, we are giving my brother, sil and their children a card this year, with a large donation made in their name to a local charity. My mother didn't even invite them to Christmas (yes her own son, DIL and 5 granddaughters!) and is giving them each gift cards "in case Santa forgot something."

[laceylmm]

I've done Elf on the Shelf for two years now. I feel like if the kid is that attached to it the parents must be putting way too much emphasis on the elf being there. My kids look for the elf ,have fun in the morning, and move on. Its not the entire focus of December. I also let them touch him because well I'm not fighting them even touching him. Plus then I have to explain that the magic still works even when the touched him like they weren't supposed to.

And it must be my 'mean' streak again but I'd probably tell my kids to get over it if they threw that much of a fit when the elf left. PS the elf spent the last year in my underwear drawer to be sure they would never find him

[MarinaVanessa]

I agree with lacey. Elf on a shelf is just supposed to be another "cute" thing to do with your kids. Many people move it only if the child had a good day and don't move it if they have a rough day. I don't use it that way. I move it regardless. It's more fun for us than anything. My 10 yo knows elf isn't real yet she enjoys playing along just like with Santa. In my household "you have to believe to receive" so she plays along even with the tooth fairy so that at least her 3yo brother can enjoy the "magic" too.

[MsLaura529]

We don't do Santa, eots, the easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc.

I got a LOT of flack from my family for making those decisions for my kids.

They still believe in the magic and spirit of Christmas, they believe in giving, they actively participate in toys for tots, blanket making for the homeless, food shelter baskets and each year each of my kids chose a child to gift (salvation army tree). Because they KNOW Santa isn't real, they understand and value the importance of these things all the more.


Last year my 10yo niece threw a massive fit Christmas day (screaming, crying, throwing things, foot stomping, door slamming FIT) about Santa not giving her everything on her list. As my brother placated her, my SIL got dressed to go to the store with her to FINISH HER CHRISTMAS SHOPPING because Santa MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN SOME THINGS.
My kids were disgusted. We packed up and left my mothers house and went home IMMEDIATELY.

THAT ruined Christmas. Spoiled, selfish, entitled BRATS with no kindness, no concept of the true meaning of Christmas and parents who enabled her to behave that way.

To make my point further, we are giving my brother, sil and their children a card this year, with a large donation made in their name to a local charity. My mother didn't even invite them to Christmas (yes her own son, DIL and 5 granddaughters!) and is giving them each gift cards "in case Santa forgot something."

That is insane for a TEN YEAR OLD. Wow!!! I am a little nervous I might have a disappointed little FOUR YEAR OLD Christmas morning because this is the first year she actually "wrote" out a list, and really remembers what was on it, etc ... however, I keep reminding her that just because something is on her list does not mean she will be getting it. I tell her it is just a helpful thing to do because everyone likes to GIVE each other gifts on Christmas and the list helps people with ideas. She keeps telling me she will be getting everything and I just keep giving her the same answer over and over again. I would not EVER go out to the store and buy her the remainder of her list, though. That is nuts.

[momofsix]

Just the title made me angry-how elf on the shelf "ruined Christmas". The parents themselves really have NO idea of what a "ruined Christmas" truly is. Their child crying over a toy is such a trivial thing when there are people that are truly having serious problems and don't even whine about their Christmas being "ruined".

I just (this morning)attended the funeral of a 35 yo dear young man that died suddenly last week so forgive me if I sound a bit angry about that dad's whining. My dear friend Noah's family has a right to say Christmas is ruined for them-but they wont.

[Blackcat31]

Just the title made me angry-how elf on the shelf "ruined Christmas". The parents themselves really have NO idea of what a "ruined Christmas" truly is. Their child crying over a toy is such a trivial thing when there are people that are truly having serious problems and don't even whine about their Christmas being "ruined".

I just (this morning)attended the funeral of a 35 yo dear young man that died suddenly last week so forgive me if I sound a bit angry about that dad's whining. My dear friend Noah's family has a right to say Christmas is ruined for them-but they wont.

That was my first thought too.... I know the elf is suppose to have magic powers but someone bought the elf in the first place.

The title should have read "I bought elf on the shelf and ruined my DD's Christmas by not taking advantage of the teachable moment." ::

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your friend Noah... Hoping you and his loved ones find peace and comfort during this trying time. :hug:

[momofsix]

That was my first thought too.... I know the elf is suppose to have magic powers but someone bought the elf in the first place. IKR::

The title should have read "I bought elf on the shelf and ruined my DD's Christmas by not taking advantage of the teachable moment." :: Exactly! so many lessons to learn that they totally missed!

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your friend Noah... Hoping you and his loved ones find peace and comfort during this trying time. :hug:

Thank you-it was just such a complete shock-in the hospital for a routine test and he caught an infection that attacked fiercely and shut down all his organs within hours.

[MarinaVanessa]

And then I find a parent on the complete other sideof the spectrum. And my faith in humanity is restored ... Well, I have hope at least.

Why My Kids Are Not The Center Of My World