How Elf On A Shelf Ruined Our Christmas - Blog Post

[Unregistered]

Just the title made me angry-how elf on the shelf "ruined Christmas". The parents themselves really have NO idea of what a "ruined Christmas" truly is. Their child crying over a toy is such a trivial thing when there are people that are truly having serious problems and don't even whine about their Christmas being "ruined".

I just (this morning)attended the funeral of a 35 yo dear young man that died suddenly last week so forgive me if I sound a bit angry about that dad's whining. My dear friend Noah's family has a right to say Christmas is ruined for them-but they wont.

There is so much wrong with this whole thing. "Ruined" Christmas. Yeah. What were we doing last Dec 24th? Planning FIL's funeral. 11 year old ds wasn't comfortable being left at the farm by himself so he went with us -- and helped pick out his Grandfather's urn. (NOT something I was even a little bit okay with. I would have preferred to stay with him at the house.) DS didn't want his Grandpa to go anywhere, either.

Anyway, this family disgusts me. Spoiled, selfish, entitled kid made that way by spineless parents.

[Unregistered]

I should say the parents disgust me.

[Leanna]

We don't do Santa, eots, the easter bunny, tooth fairy, etc.

I got a LOT of flack from my family for making those decisions for my kids.

They still believe in the magic and spirit of Christmas, they believe in giving, they actively participate in toys for tots, blanket making for the homeless, food shelter baskets and each year each of my kids chose a child to gift (salvation army tree). Because they KNOW Santa isn't real, they understand and value the importance of these things all the more.


Last year my 10yo niece threw a massive fit Christmas day (screaming, crying, throwing things, foot stomping, door slamming FIT) about Santa not giving her everything on her list. As my brother placated her, my SIL got dressed to go to the store with her to FINISH HER CHRISTMAS SHOPPING because Santa MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN SOME THINGS.

My kids were disgusted. We packed up and left my mothers house and went home IMMEDIATELY.

THAT ruined Christmas. Spoiled, selfish, entitled BRATS with no kindness, no concept of the true meaning of Christmas and parents who enabled her to behave that way.

To make my point further, we are giving my brother, sil and their children a card this year, with a large donation made in their name to a local charity. My mother didn't even invite them to Christmas (yes her own son, DIL and 5 granddaughters!) and is giving them each gift cards "in case Santa forgot something."

WHAT????!!!! WOW. Can you say Dudley????

You should be proud that your own kids were disgusted by her behavior.

[LadyMacbeth]

This post has been very helpful for me personally. It sums up all the frustrations I've been having toward my step daughters mother. She has allowed her daughter to develop a severe anxiety that forced us to put her in therapy. This child is seven and has zero coping skills. The mother is pointing the finger at everyone and everything as the root of her anxieties. Meanwhile, she screams at us for letting it slip that Santa Claus isn't real because life isn't worth anything without magic apparently. She runs into the house screaming when it's raining and running to the window exclaiming that she thinks the clouds are forming into tornadoes, scaring her daughter. She constantly announces how she could never live in our part off town because it's so dangerous and she would be afraid of someone breaking into the house. It's so frustrating and feel like it has come between us and my sd

[Hunni Bee]

Like daycarediva, I do/will not introduce Santa/EOTS/insert other magical children's character to my daughter or future children.

It really surprises me how strongly other adults feel about that, as Unregistered suggested we are "denying" our children of something by not going down that road.

As for the child in the blog, I agree that her parents missed a major teachable moment in favor of mollifying her. No coping skills were taught, all that was taught was that if you look sad enough and cry loudly enough and make people feel guilty enough, you'll eventually get what you want.

Now, the magical things that the parents believe will enrich her childhood won't mean as much.

I will never understand why parents try to suppress kids emotions. Why do we teach them that its okay to be happy, sad, angry, disappointed if we never allow them to actually be anything but happy and grinning?

[Unregistered]

Well I guess this spoiled rotten kid has

always had a bed
always had a roof over her head
always had a hot meal
always had a way for her mom to get her to the doctor
always had meds when she was sick
always had someone hug her and tell her she's loved
always had toys
always had clothes
always had heat

all because of her parents. And her parents have NEVER thought to teach her that maybe that life IS actually tough for a lot of children. If that were MY child crying about an elf or anything else, I'd be giving them a whooping into greatfulness. No way is it OK for a child to act so foolish.

[Play Care]

Like daycarediva, I do/will not introduce Santa/EOTS/insert other magical children's character to my daughter or future children.

It really surprises me how strongly other adults feel about that, as Unregistered suggested we are "denying" our children of something by not going down that road.

As for the child in the blog, I agree that her parents missed a major teachable moment in favor of mollifying her. No coping skills were taught, all that was taught was that if you look sad enough and cry loudly enough and make people feel guilty enough, you'll eventually get what you want.

Now, the magical things that the parents believe will enrich her childhood won't mean as much.

I will never understand why parents try to suppress kids emotions. Why do we teach them that its okay to be happy, sad, angry, disappointed if we never allow them to actually be anything but happy and grinning?

I obviously don't care what other families do, but for me, growing up and having "Santa" was some of the most magical memories of my childhood. When we got to the age where we questioned, my parents were BRILLIANT - talking about the spirit of Christmas (GIVING - "For he so loved the world that he gave his only Son" and being good was about trying to live a Christ like life, etc.) We went to catholic school and attended church every Sunday, so for us, the role of Santa was a way to bring home the TRUE message of Christmas in a fun way. I was never "devastated" by the fact there wasn't an actual fat man in a red suit nor did I feel "lied" to - I felt my parents had gave us a wonderful gift. They never used Santa as leverage coming up to Christmas, we were busy doing Advent activities anyway. And some years we received a gift we asked for and some we didn't - but had we ever thrown a fit over it, we would have had our bottoms blistered - and I've come to think that's actually another gift my parents gave us (though I wouldn't have thought so at the time:::: ) Admittedly I won't do EOTS partly because I don't have the time or inclination to move it around and come up with unique placements for it - we do an advent chain filled with things like collecting food for the local food pantry or caroling at the senior center, etc.
I just feel that Santa is starting to get a bad rap, and it's not his fault

[daycarediva]

play care- I do agree that Santa is getting a bad rap. Just like "grandma" spoiled the kids this weekend. It's another lazy parenting excuse.


I didn't do Santa (tooth fairy, easter bunny, etc) for a lot of reasons. I started out doing them, and dd figured it all out when she was around 4. We saw two mall Santas in one day, and then her very best friend at school got very little for Christmas and she came home DEVASTATED that Santa was mean to such a good girl.

We fessed up, and that was it. We teach about the story behind Saint Nicholas, and do a lot of charity and volunteer work. I don't think we lost anything by not celebrating in that way at all.

My kids are monetarily spoiled rotten (Imho) but they don't act that way at all. I've never hit them, but if they behaved the way my niece did (does, honestly this was nothing shocking or new) I would want to smack myself for allowing it!

[Hunni Bee]

Oh no, I don't think Santa's bad. The idea of Santa, done right, IS magical.

I sort of had Santa as a kid, we knew he wasn't "real" but we still took pictures with him and he added to the excitement of Christmas. I wasn't devastated either .

I know my kid(s) will encounter Santa at school, on tv, from friends and pretty much everywhere else. I'm just going to treat him like Mickey Mouse, Strawberry Shortcake or any other kids character. Cute, funny but not real and not a big deal.

Hopefully I won't scar them for life.

[My3cents]

They're are alot of negative responses here in this topic. .. calling kids BRATS AND ENTITLED BRATS. Just very surprising for letting daycare providers. . If a family chooses to bring additional"magic" into their home and create more of a magical atmosphere, . Why do you feel the need to down them?
As fat add doing charitable events, I feel is hypocritical to help another child believe in santa and deny your own children that same belief. Children should believe in magic and fairies and we shrug make believe, there is plenty of time for the real world and hard lessons that they WILL encounter IN due time. . Let children be children. . They grow up way to fast already!

I think it is a personal choice that the parents should make. I think the best interest of the child is to make that decision before you have kids as to how you will celebrate the Holidays and what you will believe in. I don't care for the flipping back and fourth, maybe because of the $ issues associated with it all or Religious beliefs. That is my three cents and I stand with, it is up to the parents-

We did the Santa thing with our own kids and I need to research it more but the elf sounds like another fun thing to do with my daycare kiddo's. Maybe next year I will remember to do the elf. I like doing the fun cool things- but I also try to real it in and keep it all real and on the down low and not go nuts with it. I don't think less of anyone because they choose to not do these things or Halloween etc. To each their own-