Just For Fun - Policies You Wish You Could Implement That Are Totally Ridiculous?

[Cat Herder]

1. $1,000.00 Teething Fee. Cash only.

For every time provider (or providers family member) becomes infected with teething.


2. Automatic Termination and Front Page Photo Ad of any parent who so much as utters any form of "I am off work, can you keep my kid/s longer so I can....."

[Hunni Bee]

Snooping around my classroom when we're not in there:

$3,000 fine cash only, must be paid immediately. Must wear a cowbell while on the premises at all times so staff can know where you are.

[crazydaycarelady]

Must wear a cowbell while on the premises at all times so staff can know where you are.

Bwahahaha....I love this one! I could really use it on dcd who comes in all stealth like at all hours to "bring the car seat."

[AfterSchoolMom]

$50 nonrefundable interview fee, to be paid before the interview


$20 per day "cat nap" fee for any nap under one hour long

If your child cries continuously for more than 20 minutes or screams for more than 2 minutes (and they are not bleeding or being chased by a bear or an axe wielding maniac) they must be picked up immediately.


A rate that is equal to or more than what we pay our date night sitter (this shouldn't be considered ridiculous, but for this area...it would be).

Parents pay a separate fee to a "drop off/pick up coordinator" who handles all drop offs, pick ups, and communication with parents.

[Atroya]

This is just an awesome thread. LOL Love the "infected with teething" comment! I once became infected with teething, and had to close daycare for a full week!

[crazydaycarelady]

Parents pay a separate fee to a "drop off/pick up coordinator" who handles all drop offs, pick ups, and communication with parents.

I would love a Coordinator!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have often wondered if a drive-thru window for drop offs/pick ups would be out of line!

[NoellesMama]

$15 for every time your child coughs or sneezes on me.

[jgcp]

Parent watches kids for the day with instructions for everything you do! You get a spa day or alone day...Paid!!

[jenn]

Love it!

[wdmmom]

$300 puking fee...if its on my carpet, you pay to have it cleaned.
$350 puking fee if its in my playpen!

$100 fee for turning around in my neighbors driveway because the driveway is occupied and you're too darn lazy to park in the street and walk your child up to the door!

$300 fee for packing the snow down in my driveway with your vehicle causing more shoveling/scraping than its worth!

Quarterly bonus of one weeks salary required for putting up with parents baloney!

[DaisyMamma]

I always tell the babies as I change them that they are silly and need to poop at home and I should charge extra per Poopy diaper...

[DaisyMamma]

If grandma and grandpa visit for the weekend and hold your baby the whole time, you need to keep him home on Monday!

That would make it worse!

[Tay]

I fantasize about placing this announcement in my daycare, aside from your weekly fee, everytime I change a poopy diaper that is $10 extra. The other day I had a child with diarrhea and changed him 8 times in 4 hours. I make more per change of poopy diapers than changing a weekly fee. ::

[granny04]

Just for fun-policies you wish you could implement

Those were all great!! Covered most of the ones I could think of.
I thought Black Cat 31 and Hunni Bee were right on target with some of my thoughts!! All were really funny from everyone!!

Here is one I didn't see--
Every year I sit down and spend a good deal of time working out a YEARLY schedule for the dcp. It includes all appointments I try to make ahead of time...all personal days off....all regular holiday days off...
They get a copy of this schedule on January 2 when day care reopens after holiday.

I should charge 25.00 every time I hear -----I didn't look at the schedule!
25.00 every time I hear....... Oh, your not open today?
25.00 every time I hear........What days are your vacation
again?

[Familycare71]

Rates are not based on attendance nor enrollment but solely based on the level of difficulty the child is.

Bonuses (which happen quarterly ) from parents are also based on the difficulty level of the parent.

happyface happyface happyface

When your child is dropped off ill a sanitation service will be at my house within the day!
I will charge $30 per half hour for any personal conversation not pertaining to the child in care! $50 if advise is required!
Parents will be put on a rotating schedule to shop for food and general supplies