Just For Fun - Policies You Wish You Could Implement That Are Totally Ridiculous?

[Josiegirl]

Rates are not based on attendance nor enrollment but solely based on the level of difficulty the child is.

Bonuses (which happen quarterly ) from parents are also based on the difficulty level of the parent.

Definitely this! Some of these kids would make me hundreds more a week.

[cara041083]

Any time I hear that diarrhea, runny nose, coughing, fever, and excessive drooling is due to teething will result in a $50.00 charge, and each time I have to wipe, change, or clean up will result in an extra $10 fee each time and must be paid at the end off the day! LOL I have 3 lil ones under the age of 1 and parents tell me this ALL the time

[spinnymarie]

Whining is a $50 fee each occurrence.
Whining by parents is $5,000.

[crazydaycarelady]

$100 fee for fever that appears suddenly at Noon.

[thetoddlerwhisper]

$15 per snotty nose wiped per day. $50 per accident form. extra $25 if child was climbing or running when they werent supposed to be. $20 for every day your child doesnt nap.

[hope]

$100 an hour therapy pay for all those after hour talks about things that should be discussed with their pediatrician or therapist. I am not a licensed therapist or doctor but since parents seem to think I am I may as well take the pay!

[Hunni Bee]

Not having sufficient back-up clothes will result in the following fees:

$45 Pain and suffering
$15 Search fee (for me having to scour the school for extra clothing that do not exist)
$20 communication fee (for when I have to call and tell you to come get your child because he's wet and naked)
$5 Headdesk fee (for when you tell me its okay to have him put on pink flowery pant with no underwear because you don't feel like coming early)
$90 Mental Health fee (for time spent cajoling your child into the pink flowered pants and no underwear, and listening to him complain about it, and giving his classmates a constant stinkeye for cracking a smile)

Fees will include an ice cold Dr. Pepper and must be paid before you can ever set foot on the property again. If you resist, winged monkeys will escort you from the property by your whale-tail.

Thanks.

[TheGoodLife]

Rates are not based on attendance nor enrollment but solely based on the level of difficulty the child is.

Bonuses (which happen quarterly ) from parents are also based on the difficulty level of the parent.

Best. Idea. Ever! happyface ::

[Soccermom]

A Pinocchio fee - 15$ for every time a DCP lies to me about something.

I would be rich!!

[melskids]

$25 for every time I have to ask you to close the door. It's 10 below and I don't live in a barn. Nor do you pay my heating bill.

[Great Beginnings]

$50 stupidity fee for every time you try to make an excuse for "little Johnny's" behavior.

[MotherNature]

These are great! I'd add Snowy Feet fee- failure to wipe your and your children's feet off/remove snow boots before tracking mud, rain, snow, etc..inside will be met with a mop and/or a $10 fee.

[Unregistered]

$20.00 every time you question a policy, with, do I have to ?

[Maggie]

If grandma and grandpa visit for the weekend and hold your baby the whole time, you need to keep him home on Monday!

[coolconfidentme]

$1 per minute for crying. $2 per minute at nap time!