Have You Ever Sent A DCK Home For Being Tired?

[Soccermom]

I have a 4 yo DCG who's parents have recently separated. It is has been really hard on her and of course on everyone here as well since she has changed a lot since the split.

She has been coming in REALLY tired and miserable when she is with DCM. Today she told me that DCM let her fall asleep in her arms last night. DCD says that DCM sometimes has a really hard time with her and she doesn't get her to sleep until 11pm some nights.

Anyway today she is WAY tired. I mean totally miserable, horrible, trying not to fall asleep on the floor tired. Being really mean to the other DCKS and an absolute terror with me.

I feel like calling DCM to pick her up. WWYD?

[Cradle2crayons]

I have a 4 yo DCG who's parents have recently separated. It is has been really hard on her and of course on everyone here as well since she has changed a lot since the split.

She has been coming in REALLY tired and miserable when she is with DCM. Today she told me that DCM let her fall asleep in her arms last night. DCD says that DCM sometimes has a really hard time with her and she doesn't get her to sleep until 11pm some nights.

Anyway today she is WAY tired. I mean totally miserable, horrible, trying not to fall asleep on the floor tired. Being really mean to the other DCKS and an absolute terror with me.

I feel like calling DCM to pick her up. WWYD?

I call for pickup if the child can't participate in daycare.it sounds like this child can't participate in daycare to me.

Divorce or not, mom needs to get her head out of her backside and take care of her child.

[Leigh]

I have a 4 yo DCG who's parents have recently separated. It is has been really hard on her and of course on everyone here as well since she has changed a lot since the split.

She has been coming in REALLY tired and miserable when she is with DCM. Today she told me that DCM let her fall asleep in her arms last night. DCD says that DCM sometimes has a really hard time with her and she doesn't get her to sleep until 11pm some nights.

Anyway today she is WAY tired. I mean totally miserable, horrible, trying not to fall asleep on the floor tired. Being really mean to the other DCKS and an absolute terror with me.

I feel like calling DCM to pick her up. WWYD?

I have a 3 year old that is often tired, as well (he doesn't have a bedtime-he goes when it's convenient for parents or he falls asleep on the couch). When it starts with him, I just put him down for nap early and let him sleep late. Sometimes it means that he misses lunch, in which case I make a plate for him to have when he wakes up.

[Soccermom]

My 4 year old group doesn't nap...they have quiet time with some music, stories on CD and a TV show but the more tired she is, the more worked up she gets at rest time because she is trying soooo hard not to sleep. It is sad.

[Leigh]

My 4 year old group doesn't nap...they have quiet time with some music, stories on CD and a TV show but the more tired she is, the more worked up she gets at rest time because she is trying soooo hard not to sleep. It is sad.

I would give her a nap, even if the other kids don't have them. My pediatrician told me that kids NEED naps through age 6. This kid surely needs them, if she's not getting the 11-13 hours she needs per day. If she's consistently too tired to participate, and you are not willing to nap, I would just put the family on notice that termination is the next step if she doesn't arrive well rested.

[TwinKristi]

I would just let her sleep and let DCM know when she gets there that this is an increasing occurrence and it's not fair to her or the other kids. She's upset and miserable when she's over tired. Yes many 4yr olds don't nap, but I know some who do nap and NEED to nap. Some kids need more sleep than others do. I wouldn't exclude simply for being over-tired, I would just give her a nap. But that's just me. I tend to be more understanding and lenient than other providers on this forum though.

[daycare]

I have a dcf that I have had for about 3 years. They have two kids with me and the parents don't make them go to bed at night EVER.

I had issues just like yours, mean, cranky, etc all due to lack of sleep.

Over the years I had talked to them about it with ZERO change. Well their younger child just started with me and now I had two children like this.

I emailed DCP a bed time routine that I expected them to try to get the kids on, because they were obviously not getting enough sleep and it was affected them and the other children in care.

I also told them that if I cannot control the behavior or the children were too tired to participate that I would call for pickup. Well 2 times of calling for pick-up and the issue magically has disappeared.

[melilley]

I would just let her sleep and let DCM know when she gets there that this is an increasing occurrence and it's not fair to her or the other kids. She's upset and miserable when she's over tired. Yes many 4yr olds don't nap, but I know some who do nap and NEED to nap. Some kids need more sleep than others do. I wouldn't exclude simply for being over-tired, I would just give her a nap. But that's just me. I tend to be more understanding and lenient than other providers on this forum though.

I agree. I too would let her sleep. IMO children that young need to nap if they are tired. My sister was like this. Actually, she's in her 30's and still NEEDS naps.....

[melilley]

My 4 year old group doesn't nap...they have quiet time with some music, stories on CD and a TV show but the more tired she is, the more worked up she gets at rest time because she is trying soooo hard not to sleep. It is sad.

Are they not allowed to fall asleep or do they just don't fall asleep? To me, children that age should be able to nap-at nap time-if they are tired. I have never heard of four year old's not having to nap.

[Crazy8]

I would just let her sleep and let DCM know when she gets there that this is an increasing occurrence and it's not fair to her or the other kids. She's upset and miserable when she's over tired. Yes many 4yr olds don't nap, but I know some who do nap and NEED to nap. Some kids need more sleep than others do. I wouldn't exclude simply for being over-tired, I would just give her a nap. But that's just me. I tend to be more understanding and lenient than other providers on this forum though.

same here. I wouldn't send home but I would address the issue with mom. I have occassionally put a mat down in the corner of the playroom and let a child sleep. Now if mom is going to have a fit over child napping then I might send her home!

[Blackcat31]

I don't see this as an issue of being understanding or not. If her need to sleep is causing disruptions to the other kids' day, then she needs to go home.

If you don't have the means or ability to simply allow her to sleep all day, then you should send her home.

I would personally send her home. My choice to do that has nothing to do with not being understanding or lenient...it has to do with doing what's best for the entire group.

In group child care it is tough to manage individualized needs. Kind of like not having an "i" in teamwork. In group care, there is no individualized care offered because it isn't always doable.

[TwinKristi]

Well that's sort of why I like my program. I'm not too rigid or strict and if someone needs a nap, someone gets a nap. I have a "home childcare" and I truly strive to have a homelike setting for kids with individualized care. I have low numbers (due to my own kids in care) and like it that way. Less chaos and problems for me. I've had 13 kids here before I was licensed just for a couple friends over the summer and it was crazy. No way I could do more than simply keep them fed, alive and uninjured. LOL but when it comes to little kids I think they need more flexibility. I have one guy who really needs a nap in the AM but the other two need naps in the PM so usually he goes down with the other 2 but occasionally he has an AM nap too. I can and do offer individual care and can be lenient and understanding. I see a LOT of very rigid providers on here and that works for them. Great! Being flexible works for me. I don't send kids home at the drop of a hat, I don't have strict times to drop off, I work with the family. If that doesn't work for your program than so be it. I'm not putting anyone down but obviously the question was would you send home. I know some providers would say "yes because they can't participate in normal activities" but to me, napping is a normal activity? I have 1-2yr olds and they nap, play, eat, etc. There isn't a lot of "program" aside from meeting their needs through the day.

[daycare]

I think its one thing if a child is tired due to age and still needing two naps.

It's a totally different thing when a parent is NOT parenting and putting the child to bed at night because they don't want to deal with it. They drop of the wasted tired kid at DC and then it becomes our issue.

NO WAY JOSE...... Stand up and be the parent, put your child to bed at a decent hour and don't make it my problem.

[TwinKristi]

I think its one thing if a child is tired due to age and still needing two naps.

It's a totally different thing when a parent is NOT parenting and putting the child to bed at night because they don't want to deal with it. They drop of the wasted tired kid at DC and then it becomes our issue.

NO WAY JOSE...... Stand up and be the parent, put your child to bed at a decent hour and don't make it my problem.

I deal with all sorts of crap because of parents not doing their job as parents. That's part of doing daycare. You can't make parents do things your way. I know some of you may try to do that (like sending home a schedule for bedtime) but I don't care to do that. When a child leaves my home, I'm done for the day. Rules at home and rules at daycare will be different many times. Some kids just want to watch cartoons all day but we can't do that here. Some kids want to go to the park but I can't really take the babies to the park by myself. Some kids want juice to drink but I don't serve juice here. I think the child (and parents) are having enough problems as it is, why create more stress? More resentment? I don't have a preschool curriculum or anything that would prevent a child from sleeping more than normal. And needing 2 naps a day could very well be because of something mom & dad did. Maybe they got up extra early to work out and woke up their child. That's been an excuse I've had in the past when child comes excessively tired and crabby. And the same child who sometimes needs 2 naps a day is going to preschool. I think that's a horrible choice for this child but he's not mine to make the choice for.

[daycare]

I deal with all sorts of crap because of parents not doing their job as parents. That's part of doing daycare. You can't make parents do things your way. I know some of you may try to do that (like sending home a schedule for bedtime) but I don't care to do that. When a child leaves my home, I'm done for the day. Rules at home and rules at daycare will be different many times. Some kids just want to watch cartoons all day but we can't do that here. Some kids want to go to the park but I can't really take the babies to the park by myself. Some kids want juice to drink but I don't serve juice here. I think the child (and parents) are having enough problems as it is, why create more stress? More resentment? I don't have a preschool curriculum or anything that would prevent a child from sleeping more than normal. And needing 2 naps a day could very well be because of something mom & dad did. Maybe they got up extra early to work out and woke up their child. That's been an excuse I've had in the past when child comes excessively tired and crabby. And the same child who sometimes needs 2 naps a day is going to preschool. I think that's a horrible choice for this child but he's not mine to make the choice for.

I understand what you are saying. I don't know how the op runs her daycare, for myself, I run a preschool program and run a tight ship. Parents know this at the time of enrollment.

I am preparing everyone for school. Part of that is learning to parent your children so that they are ready.