Have You Ever Sent A DCK Home For Being Tired?

[Unregistered]

I deal with all sorts of crap because of parents not doing their job as parents. That's part of doing daycare. You can't make parents do things your way. I know some of you may try to do that (like sending home a schedule for bedtime) but I don't care to do that. When a child leaves my home, I'm done for the day. Rules at home and rules at daycare will be different many times. Some kids just want to watch cartoons all day but we can't do that here. Some kids want to go to the park but I can't really take the babies to the park by myself. Some kids want juice to drink but I don't serve juice here. I think the child (and parents) are having enough problems as it is, why create more stress? More resentment? I don't have a preschool curriculum or anything that would prevent a child from sleeping more than normal. And needing 2 naps a day could very well be because of something mom & dad did. Maybe they got up extra early to work out and woke up their child. That's been an excuse I've had in the past when child comes excessively tired and crabby. And the same child who sometimes needs 2 naps a day is going to preschool. I think that's a horrible choice for this child but he's not mine to make the choice for.

How come dealing with crap because parents don't parent is part of doing daycare? It's only part of the job if you let it be.

You've made a couple of comments about others being strict or firm in their rules as if that is a bad thing. Those same providers rarely post about issues in their daycares so it must work for them. You choose to be more flexible just to avoid stress, others prefer to fix the issue head on. Everyone does things in whatever way works best for them.

You can do that too without commenting on how others run their programs. It takes away from your message.

[Soccermom]

Op

I do a preschool program in the mornings and after lunch the babies sleep while the 4 year olds rest. They lie down for an hour but are not expected to sleep.

If they fall asleep I don't stress about it though, I let them sleep a little but normally they get woken up when rest time is over by the other kids playing. I don't think it's fair to make all the other DCKS tip toe around the room all afternoon so this DCG can catch up on sleep.

This DCG has fallen asleep on occasion in the past for a bit but when she is super tired she knows she is going to fall asleep and doesn't want to so she will act up.

I run a tight ship because that works for us and makes things easier on everyone. The kids seem to enjoy the routine as well. We stick to our schedule and it allows me to do a lot of fun activities, learning, cooking, reading, playing and crafting with the kids.

[harperluu]

I would just let her sleep and let DCM know when she gets there that this is an increasing occurrence and it's not fair to her or the other kids. She's upset and miserable when she's over tired. Yes many 4yr olds don't nap, but I know some who do nap and NEED to nap. Some kids need more sleep than others do. I wouldn't exclude simply for being over-tired, I would just give her a nap. But that's just me. I tend to be more understanding and lenient than other providers on this forum though.

I would also let her nap. Give her breakfast and let her go back to sleep. Sometimes my own dd will be up late on the weekends, and I let her sleep in on Monday morning until 9-9:30. Your dcg will likely sleep fine in the evening if her nap is in the morning. Poor thing.

[TwinKristi]

How come dealing with crap because parents don't parent is part of doing daycare? It's only part of the job if you let it be.

You've made a couple of comments about others being strict or firm in their rules as if that is a bad thing. Those same providers rarely post about issues in their daycares so it must work for them. You choose to be more flexible just to avoid stress, others prefer to fix the issue head on. Everyone does things in whatever way works best for them.

You can do that too without commenting on how others run their programs. It takes away from your message.

How about babies who won't nap outside of a swing or wanting to be held or delayed potty training or temper tantrums or poor eating habits... The list goes on. People post every day about problems they're having. If everyone had it all figured out this forum would be much different. Even veterans post on here for ideas. I don't post frequently about problems either so I'm not sure what you're implying by saying rarely post about issues. That's what this whole forum is!
And I don't necessarily choose to be flexible to avoid stress as I do because the stress isn't worth it to me. If I termed every time someone on here did I wouldn't be doing daycare. Kids don't just fall into your lap, sometimes you have to make situations work that aren't ideal. When there is a major issue i wouldn't hesitate to term and have. But I just don't think I could be as strict and rigid as some other providers are. I see the word term on here waaaaay more than I would have ever expected. It doesn't seem to matter what the issue is, just send them home or term the family seem to be such common responses. But I'm coming from a home daycare perspective not preschool so it's hard to give the same type of response as a preschool would. I never put anyone down or said being less lenient is bad, just not what I tend to do.

[Cradle2crayons]

How about babies who won't nap outside of a swing or wanting to be held or delayed potty training or temper tantrums or poor eating habits... The list goes on. People post every day about problems they're having. If everyone had it all figured out this forum would be much different. Even veterans post on here for ideas. I don't post frequently about problems either so I'm not sure what you're implying by saying rarely post about issues. That's what this whole forum is!
And I don't necessarily choose to be flexible to avoid stress as I do because the stress isn't worth it to me. If I termed every time someone on here did I wouldn't be doing daycare. Kids don't just fall into your lap, sometimes you have to make situations work that aren't ideal. When there is a major issue i wouldn't hesitate to term and have. But I just don't think I could be as strict and rigid as some other providers are. I see the word term on here waaaaay more than I would have ever expected. It doesn't seem to matter what the issue is, just send them home or term the family seem to be such common responses. But I'm coming from a home daycare perspective not preschool so it's hard to give the same type of response as a preschool would. I never put anyone down or said being less lenient is bad, just not what I tend to do.

First I want to address a few things you've said.

(1) a lot of providers here make decisions because licensing requires them to. A lot of licensed providers aren't even ALLOWED to have a swing in their home for their OWN children, much less daycare kids. As in NOT ALLOWED AT ALL. So, many providers here would likely do things a little different if licensing weren't so strict. Not to mention SIDS training is pretty clear that sleeping babies in swings and equipment is NOT safe practice.

(2) unless you only take care of a few kids, carrying a child around 24/7 isn't a great idea either. As a parent who didn't carry my OWN kids around, I would be quite upset to find my provider carrying my child around all day and bringing home a child who can't self soothe. Other than that, I refuse to carry babies around not because I'm not flexible, but that would limit me to one infant because I'm not carrying two babies around. Also I refuse to carry a child while I'm cooking and how fair is it to the other kids when I spend my entire day attached to an infant. Not to mention it doesn't do the baby any good in the long run either.

(3) I really think that what's flexible to one isn't flexible to another. For instance, I have strict policies mainly to PREVENT issues. But if you asked my daycare parents what they loved about me, flexible would be one of those things. I offer afternoon care which isn't a common thing here. I take kids to dr appointments, therapy appointments and if I'm out running errands, I'll even meet parents to pick up kids to save them the hour drive here. I'll give baths if I need to. I take one boy to basketball practice also. As a matter of fact, I PAID his registration to play ball this year because I knew his mom wasn't going to give up anything she wanted to let him play ball. So I paid the $70 and I take him to practice and in January I'll take him to games too. I offer care on the weekends to both families because they are single moms working as waitresses.

But there are some things I simply can't be flexible on. All five daycare kids are in state pay and mom pays the difference. I charge neither what I normally charge because I know they are single moms working long hours for little pay. But I do expect hem to pay, on time, every week. I do not take care of sick kids and I am strict on that policy. It's not for ME. It's to protect the other kids, one of which is a preemie and the other is medically fragile.

I don't provide care when mom isn't working. I don't watch their kids while they go to the gym, shopping, or have a drink with friends.

They have one hour to pick up after work and I require one mother provide her clock in and out paper every day because she's not honest and I caught her in some lies. When she's due to pick up at 11:00 pm and instead decides to lie and go out with friends and pick up at 2:00 am... I am not flexible. My policies WILL be followed.

I have seen in some of your posts a lot of critical comments about providers who have certain policies and stick to them. You make lots of comments about how you are so flexible and a lot of other providers here are "strict" and rigid.

The fact of the matter is that while some seem inflexible to you, it's not always their rules, but the rules the state requires. Sometimes it's rules they have learned over the years that works better for them and all of the kids in their care.

The point of my rambling is that flexibility doesn't mean you don't have problems anymore than being more strict means you won't have issues.

Most of us have learned over the years that sometimes parents take flexible and turn you into a doormat.

[TwinKristi]

I'm not sure what you took from my post and twisted it all around to mean but I don't really get what your point is... I was simply bringing up issues providers have complained about on here, even seasoned ones. I don't have any infants in care who would be in a swing or to be carried around so I'm not sure if you thought I was using those points in my defense or something but you pretty much proved my point, flexibility is dependent on the situation. I am not dissing being inflexible, I've said numerous times which keeps getting skipped somehow that what works for some doesn't for others. I completely get that. I was simply answering that I tend to be on the more flexible side when it comes to responses on here. Obviously that bugged a few of you but take it as you will.

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

I don't term, either (only twice where both dcms had addiction problems and it was getting scary). And I have never sent a kid home for anything other than an obvious illness.

I like to come on here, p!ss and moan about a problem I'm having, feel so much better that I am not alone, then see how the child and I can get past it, often times with ideas suggested on this forum.

It is challenging to work this way, because I do do preschool and a structured day. But like the OP and TwinK, I will just be flexible and weather the storm because I love the child, and carting them off to another daycare isn't going to help them at all. Plus, I don't want any trashtalk about the way I do business by the dcps, because they are not going to see it from my perspective. So that's my opinion, even though you didn't ask for it!

[sleepinghart]

I have a 4 yo DCG who's parents have recently separated. It is has been really hard on her and of course on everyone here as well since she has changed a lot since the split.

She has been coming in REALLY tired and miserable when she is with DCM. Today she told me that DCM let her fall asleep in her arms last night. DCD says that DCM sometimes has a really hard time with her and she doesn't get her to sleep until 11pm some nights.

Anyway today she is WAY tired. I mean totally miserable, horrible, trying not to fall asleep on the floor tired. Being really mean to the other DCKS and an absolute terror with me.

I feel like calling DCM to pick her up. WWYD?

~I realize your decision with regard to this has already been made as you posted this thread yesterday, but thought I'd still chime in and hope that's okay .

~So this is new behavior that began around the time of the parent's split?
How long have you had dcg in all:confused:? About how long in all, if this is getting to be the norm, has dcg been acting this tired & miserable if you don't mind my asking?

I agree that if she is so much of a disruption, no matter what the reason, that she should not be at daycare and a call to pick-up is approppriate/necessary. Now, if it's beginning to be an everyday problem, I think I would probably schedule a conference and discuss the concerns(the tired/miserable behavior & the lack of sleep, etc.)and hope they're open to suggestions on fixing it and then go from there -- I would just be sure to have the same discussion with both the parents, mom & dad, though.


(Soccermom quote) "Today she told me that DCM let her fall asleep in her arms last night"(end quote)

~I probably wouldn't put too much weight into this and would take it with a grain of salt.

(Soccermom quote)"DCD says that DCM sometimes has a really hard time with her and she doesn't get her to sleep until 11pm some nights"(end quote)

~I'd take that with a grain of salt as well .

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