Frustrated! Using a Fork And Spoon....Help!!

[LaLa1923]

I think it is unreasonable to expect a 15 month old to exclusively use utensils. My son just had a two year developmental evaluation. The occupation and physical therapist that evaluated him asked about utensils. While my 25 month old son does use them he still needs to use his hands for some foods and that's okay. Both therapists assured me that it is normal for children to not have complete dexterity with utensils until age four.

With both of my children (I have three but the littlest is only four months) I have started giving them utensils around age one. I will model for them how to use but I mostly just let them explore and figure it out. It's messy and it takes a while, but they do figure it out.

Based on my experience and what I've been reading they should be able to use at least a spoon by 15 months and master both by 18 months. At the very least IMO by 2.
What foods would require your hands?? Unless it's a cupcake or something of that nature. Most foods require silverware.
This type of nonchalant attitude is the reason I'm in this mess.

[LaLa1923]

It's not like I stood over my own kids and drilled it in to them. Nor do I believe I had genius children. However, if my three got it, my steep kids, my nephews and nieces, and some of my own dcks.....why not most or all??


BECAUSE of the PARENTS!!

[Heidi]

Hey, on a similar vein, my 11 month olds are constantly picking up their plates during the meal, often flipping them, and throwing food next to it or on the floor.

Someone here (Meeko, maybe?) suggested those sticky soap saver things to hold the plates down. I ordered some, and will give that a try. Doesn't solve the throwing food problem, though. Well, it's not so much throwing as dropping. Still, after a meal, my floor looks pretty gross. blech

[Unregistered]

Based on my experience and what I've been reading they should be able to use at least a spoon by 15 months and master both by 18 months. At the very least IMO by 2.
What foods would require your hands?? Unless it's a cupcake or something of that nature. Most foods require silverware.
This type of nonchalant attitude is the reason I'm in this mess.

Are you kidding me? What nonchalant attitude would that be? The attitude that parenting and caregiving requires patience? The attitude that sometimes learning a new skill is not always mastered at the same time as all others? I will certainly take the opinion of a occupational and physical therapist that see countless numbers of kids and do countless numbers of evaluations above yours. And yes, I'm being snippy, but to be fair, so were you.

And really? You can't think of any instances where hands need to help with the food? How about rice? Are your 15 months olds able to scoop up every last bit of rice without using a finger to help?

You only "allow" babies to use their hands. A 15 month old is a young toddler, not that far out of infancy.

The attitude of some of the providers on this board is astounding. Kid can't use a fork by 15 months? Lazy parent! Kid can't zip his coat by three? Lazy parent! Kid needs help pulling up his underwear at 2.5? Lazy parent!

And before anyone suggests unregistered posters should be banned, my registered name is hollydawn- I Just can't remember my password.

[melilley]

Hey, on a similar vein, my 11 month olds are constantly picking up their plates during the meal, often flipping them, and throwing food next to it or on the floor.

Someone here (Meeko, maybe?) suggested those sticky soap saver things to hold the plates down. I ordered some, and will give that a try. Doesn't solve the throwing food problem, though. Well, it's not so much throwing as dropping. Still, after a meal, my floor looks pretty gross. blech

A couple of my kids throw their food and plates here too, including my own son and my floor looks disgusting also...until my dog comes in and cleans up for me...

Just get a dog, your floor will be much cleaner after meals...

They also make suction cup plates with the suction things built on the bottom.

[Blackcat31]

And before anyone suggests unregistered posters should be banned, my registered name is hollydawn- I Just can't remember my password.

I can't find your username in the member list to send you a password reminder. Is it one word or two? When did you register?

I can help with a password reminder if you would like....

[Unregistered]

Thanks Black Cat. Maybe my username is holladee? I registered a couple of years ago and have been more of a lurker than a poster. If that's not it, if I give you my email address could you locate it that way?

[Heidi]

A couple of my kids throw their food and plates here too, including my own son and my floor looks disgusting also...until my dog comes in and cleans up for me...

Just get a dog, your floor will be much cleaner after meals...

They also make suction cup plates with the suction things built on the bottom.

I have a Shih-Tzu. He helps out, but we have high-gloss hardwood floors, so...yeah. I think he leaves tongue marks.:: Seriously, they're the kind of floors that if you walk barefoot on, you can see footprints. We built the house before I went back into daycare.

I tried the suction cup plates, but they didn't stick for s***, to put it bluntly.

[Blackcat31]

Thanks Black Cat. Maybe my username is holladee? I registered a couple of years ago and have been more of a lurker than a poster. If that's not it, if I give you my email address could you locate it that way?

Yep, it is Holladee.

I sent a password reminder/reset e-mail.

Let me know if you make it back in. Otherwise, we'll try something else.

[melilley]

I have a Shih-Tzu. He helps out, but we have high-gloss hardwood floors, so...yeah. I think he leaves tongue marks.:: Seriously, they're the kind of floors that if you walk barefoot on, you can see footprints. We built the house before I went back into daycare.

I tried the suction cup plates, but they didn't stick for s***, to put it bluntly.

Lol, I mop often because we also have semi-glossy hardwood floors (also didn't think of that before daycare). And this is the first dog that I've owned (as an adult) and I'm so not used to all the hair (I have a lab) and feel like I'm constantly sweeping the wooden floors too!

Good to know about the plates. I was going to buy some, but now I won't.

[Heidi]

Lol, I mop often because we also have semi-glossy hardwood floors (also didn't think of that before daycare). And this is the first dog that I've owned (as an adult) and I'm so not used to all the hair (I have a lab) and feel like I'm constantly sweeping the wooden floors too!

Good to know about the plates. I was going to buy some, but now I won't.

Ok...I will let you know how the suction cup sticky things work. I have plastic Ikea plates and little white ceramic diner plates. Going to try both.

[melilley]

Ok...I will let you know how the suction cup sticky things work. I have plastic Ikea plates and little white ceramic diner plates. Going to try both.

Yes, please let me know!

[NeedaVaca]

Based on my experience and what I've been reading they should be able to use at least a spoon by 15 months and master both by 18 months. At the very least IMO by 2.
What foods would require your hands?? Unless it's a cupcake or something of that nature. Most foods require silverware.
This type of nonchalant attitude is the reason I'm in this mess.

CDC says 18 months using a spoon. This is just a milestone, kids advance at different rates. I wouldn't be at all bothered by this, he will learn and it will take time. It's not like he's 3...that's a different story but 15 months I wouldn't be bothered, I would just help him learn.

[TwinKristi]

I think 18 mos and having utensils "mastered" is a bit much. I can see introducing it but "mastery" is quite specific and not age appropriate for 18 mos. I have a 23 month old myself who uses utensils when the other babies don't but I wouldn't say he even has if mastered yet and that's having it for almost 6 mos.

2yrs and using utensils over fingers is age appropriate in my book. I find using finger foods to be a good way to get them to eat, so it's not that we don't use them, but we often have finger foods as well. I serve corn, peas, applesauce, yogurt, small pasta, etc with a spoon but chicken pieces, sandwiches, quesadillas, muffins can be eaten with your hands.

[Heidi]

I think 18 mos and having utensils "mastered" is a bit much. I can see introducing it but "mastery" is quite specific and not age appropriate for 18 mos. I have a 23 month old myself who uses utensils when the other babies don't but I wouldn't say he even has if mastered yet and that's having it for almost 6 mos.

2yrs and using utensils over fingers is age appropriate in my book. I find using finger foods to be a good way to get them to eat, so it's not that we don't use them, but we often have finger foods as well. I serve corn, peas, applesauce, yogurt, small pasta, etc with a spoon but chicken pieces, sandwiches, quesadillas, muffins can be eaten with your hands.

Yes....and what to use utensils with and what to eat with your hands is sort of arbitrary, right? Being "messy" isn't really the criteria, because it's acceptable to eat chicken pieces on the bone or ribs with your hands, but not pudding. Then, there's the cultural aspect.

OP, one thing you could do is serve EVERYTHING bite sized for a while, to encourage fork use. If you cut up sandwiches, they can be eaten with utensils. Once everyone has the hang of it, you can go back to mixing it up. You could do a "table manners" unit for a couple weeks, and practice napkin use, make place mats that show where you cup, plate, and utensil go, etc.