Do You Ever Feel Judged About Other Things?

[melilley]

I DID say that line about the car, but held my tongue about the motorcycle. I just nodded in agreement, because it is in fact a dangerous toy. But I needed some excitement in my life.::

My mom had a motorcycle until recently and most of my dh's family owns motorcycles. They go on trips and always have a blast!

Someday I'll be brave enough to drive one...maybe.

[Sugar Magnolia]

My mom had a motorcycle until recently and most of my dh's family owns motorcycles. They go on trips and always have a blast!

Someday I'll be brave enough to drive one...maybe.

I see your son is brave enough!:::: It's easy ! I lovethis my Ninja!

[melilley]

I see your son is brave enough!:::: It's easy ! I lovethis my Ninja!

:: He even does tricks on his...

[Unregistered]

Sheesh, I was a LOW income dcp. Therefore, I charged lower rates. So my stuff was definitely not new. Didn't have the fanciest house or nice car (besides driving kids around in it, why WOULD I go get a brand new fancy car? I just need one that's safe and reliable!) I did get judged pretty badly The point is that if you are doing well they get upset and if you're not doing as well, they judge you. Either way...

[My3cents]

My father in law passed away almost two years ago. It took a while to settle the estate and the inheritance was distributed in the very recent past. We just started remodeling the first floor of our home, we upgraded our cars, enrolled our twin daughters in gymnastics club FINALLY; just really did some things we held off on because when we did the daycare addition to our home we took out a HELOC and neglected some of the luxury-type things in our lives to pay that down because we strive to live a debt-free life. It's just how we've always done things. We had the income to do some of those things before, but our main priority was paying down our HELOC. Obviously our DC families have noticed our recent splurges and have made comments about how life must be so good for us lately and how blessed we are... thanks to the money they give us. Yes, you read that right. My assistant overheard one parent commenting on my husband's new-to-us (but certainly not brand new) car and said how she had to rob Peter to pay Paul in order to pay our "specialized" rates, so my husband can have the privilege of driving a sports car. First of all, it's a hybrid-- not a sports car, and it's good on gas. My husband commutes up to three days a week because he does dental surgeries for rural communities in the surrounding areas and some of those places don't have gas stations on every corner. Second, we're one of the only full time daycare centers in the area that take special needs children such as yours, and so, yes; you pay for that service. Third, YOU didn't pay for that car. His dad's estate did. The dad that passed away before you even started here... matter of fact, before your child was even born. You better not let DH hear you say anything because you might be gone. It never dawned on me that my parents metered my personal spending habits so much. Do you ever feel judged by parents about things that are not daycare related?

None of their business just as it is none of yours what they choose to spend their money on- If I heard such a conversation my response would be a shock of really, and then my mouth would say something like....... Daycare mom am I really hearing you say this? Putting it back on the big mouth. Then I would say do you need to personally talk to me, I don't like the sound of the conversation I am hearing in my own home!

MYOB

My advice is people talk, and don't take it on and if you can't help but to take it on use the above- I think everyone thinks things like that, but she decided to voice it and I wouldn't give it too much attention unless it was ripping me apart inside emotionally.

best-

[My3cents]

I get the passive-aggressive comments from parents, too. My husband and I have always been very responsible people in every facet of life all our lives, and that includes finances. We can afford nice extras and upgrades that the dcp witness around our home. It isn't because of what I make for dc. It's because I didn't make any of the mistakes most of them have that get them in a financial bind to begin with. It's because I make different decisions and have different priorities.

My automatic reply is always, "It isn't just the money we make that get us where we are, it's the decisions we make on how to spend or save it." With a big smile, of course!

but I don't feel the need to explain myself most of the time. I am not going to try to reason with others of why I do what I do and have what I have. I guess I am at a point in my life where I don't feel the need to have to do that.

Stupid is as stupid does......and we all say stupid things at one time or another~

[My3cents]

Wow. Sorry, didn't know this was already discussed. I don't want to beat a dead horse. But geeze. The nerve of some of some of these people.

its ok..... you were just given more info.

We discuss the same subjects over and over again here.....it is what we do
Welcome and please join as a member~

[littlemissmuffet]

Wow. Sorry, didn't know this was already discussed. I don't want to beat a dead horse. But geeze. The nerve of some of some of these people.

Oh yes, I didn't mean offence in any way... just thought some more perspectives would be nice.

[Hunni Bee]

Wow.



People stink sometimes.

[KidGrind]

Wow.



People stink sometimes.

I should shower.

[Hunni Bee]

I should shower.

::

[SilverSabre25]

I think a lot of daycare parents have an overall attitude where they expect us to live a frugal, convent-like life wherein we care for children out of the goodness of our heart and expect little or nothing in return. And we they leave, everything freezes until they return.

it ****s, and it's wrong of them to think that way, but there's nothing we can do but grin and bear it or call them out.

[jenn]

I think a lot of daycare parents have an overall attitude where they expect us to live a frugal, convent-like life wherein we care for children out of the goodness of our heart and expect little or nothing in return. And we they leave, everything freezes until they return.

it ****s, and it's wrong of them to think that way, but there's nothing we can do but grin and bear it or call them out.

This exactly.
I have learned to really separate my feelings from daycare. I enjoy the children, but don't get too attached. I know that I am making an investment into their future, try my best to prepare them for life/school, treat them with respect & dignity, but don't get too overly concerned about much anymore. That could sound harsh, and I am not a harsh person, but it saves a lot of frustration and worry on my part. They are my job, not my children.
As far as what their parents think about my wardrobe, my house, my belongings...I simply don't care. I don't really care what they do or spend their money on as long as they provide for their children and remember to pay me.