I Don't Know What To Do Anymore????? (Long)

[daycare]

I have a dck that is 3.5. While I hate to label children, I am almost 100% positive that this child is ADHD.

I have never met a child that is so hyper to the point that they don't sleep. They don't sleep at home, they don't sleep here at nap time, but will lay and fidget on the nap mat for 2 hours. I thought all this time the child was sleeping, that was until last week, I bought a video monitor to watch the kids better during nap time that I started to notice that this kid is not sleeping during nap time at all ever.

Circle time, the child can't hold still for 1 second, so we ask him to rub his legs, or rub the floor or something of the like so he can distract himself long enough through the story/lesson.

DCP are divorced, only lives with mom and she says the same. His distraction rate is so bad that I have resulted to buying picture cards for him to use when we are transitioning, doing activities or such.

He can not do any table time at all, he can barley sit through lunch in a chair.

I am not sure if this is a result of lack of sleep or if he has ADHD disorder. I have not mentioned anything to DCM.

Well today I had my teacher come into my preschool circle time to do an observation. This child was so out of control that my teacher asked him to remove himself from circle time. She looked at me and said let's talk later about that. I did not know what to do or say??????????????

This child has been with me about 1.5 years and I am starting to see the behavior get worse and worse, he seems to have no self regulation, especially when it comes to how hyper he is. He can NOT listen to anything you say. ALL listening has gone out the window. I try to make eye contact with him and set CLEAR expectations, nothing seems to work.

TOday at pick up I started to tell mom what went on here today while the kids were still playing outside with my asst. As soon as I told her, she started to tear up. She told me I don't know what to do anymore. I felt so bad for her, because I am starting to feel the same way.

This little boy is VERY smart, one of the smartest boys I have here. I just don't know how to help him.

Currently when he can't control himself I ask him to sit on a bouncy ball and bounce it out. Lately that is not working. It also seems that all of my past tricks I had in my bag to help him calm down, no longer work.

I am going to sit and talk with DCM about how we can help DCK by working together, but right now I am fresh out of ideas on what to say or how to help.

Any advise would be great....thanks so much

[lizzardb85]

It sounds like you are doing all you can. There are a variety of things that could be causing these behaviors. I'm no expert but even autism spectrum disorders can cause similar behavior, usually from overstimulation. Sitting down with DCM and being open about your observations is probably your best bet for you and DCB. Mom needs to get him evaluated WITHOUT saying ADHD. A full evaluation would be better than, "well let's just try this". To be supportive, you could offer to mom to write up an observation report for the Dr. citing specific examples of behaviors and progression of adaptations in your care. There may be small clues in there that can help in a diagnosis. The sooner he is diagnosed the sooner everyone can begin to help him.

Good luck!

[daycare]

It sounds like you are doing all you can. There are a variety of things that could be causing these behaviors. I'm no expert but even autism spectrum disorders can cause similar behavior, usually from overstimulation. Sitting down with DCM and being open about your observations is probably your best bet for you and DCB. Mom needs to get him evaluated WITHOUT saying ADHD. A full evaluation would be better than, "well let's just try this". To be supportive, you could offer to mom to write up an observation report for the Dr. citing specific examples of behaviors and progression of adaptations in your care. There may be small clues in there that can help in a diagnosis. The sooner he is diagnosed the sooner everyone can begin to help him.

Good luck!

So do you think it would be wise to just tell mom that at this point I really feel that this needs to be addressed by a medical professional?

[Blackcat31]

So do you think it would be wise to just tell mom that at this point I really feel that this needs to be addressed by a medical professional?

If mom says she has no idea what to do anymore...how come she hasn't brought this to the attention of her pediatrician already?

As a parent, that would be my first thing to rule out.

How much time does this child get outdoors?

Not walking or going on a nature hike or to the zoo or anything like that...I mean "full on outside run around like a crazy man" outside time?

9 out 10 cases of kids who "appear" to be ADHD simply lack the outside or large motor time.

To me it sounds like this kid is developmentally not equipped or mature enough to manage structured academics.

He sounds like the type of kid who needs to be in an environment that allows him to physically move when ever he needs to.

The moving, rubbing and constant active behaviors are signs that are basically screaming "I am NOT ready to sit in a classroom all day...I need to be a little kid and just play and run and play and run"

I know you run a preschool type program but in my honest opinion this kid doesn't sound like he is ready for or in need of that type of set up.....kwim?

Sounds to me like he is simply missing out on the fundamentals of play.

Needing to physically move is just like sleep. If that need isn't met, he isn't going to succeed in other areas such as sleep and eating and paying attention...etc.

[daycare]

BC I would agree with what you are saying, but we have MORE thank enough out door time. On tuesday we went on a 4 mile hike. Daily we spend at least 2 hours outside. 1 hr in am and 1 in pm.

As you know, I love fitness, so a lot of my childcare revolves around it. EX. tomorrow we are having a mini bootcamp, the kids love love love it.

The child is DISTRACTED beyond belief. If I tell the child go to the bathroom, they end up getting distracted and go to their cubby box.

DCM shared with me that over the holiday that they were kicked out of a friends youth soccer game that they were guest at because he would not listen to anyone and stay off of the field. When mom tried to remove him from the field, he took her on a wild goose chase.

I do see times that he can self regulate, but then I would say 90% of the time he can't.

I have not spoken with my teacher yet, but the way I am seeing it, is that if she could not handle him, then there must be something up.

Like I said, nothing here has changed, but I am seeing his hyperness increase. I am seeing him not able to control himself at all, especially when it comes to something where he gets any form of stimulation.

BC thank you for responding to this post. I spent all night thinking about it.

[daycare]

sorry I wanted to add, that in past months the child has been able to sit for activities, able to play with the other kids no problem, and able to sit through circle time. It was never easy for this child, they did struggle a little, but for the most part, he was learning during these time and you could tell he really really enjoyed it.

[Cat Herder]

If mom says she has no idea what to do anymore...how come she hasn't brought this to the attention of her pediatrician already?

As a parent, that would be my first thing to rule out.

How much time does this child get outdoors?

Not walking or going on a nature hike or to the zoo or anything like that...I mean "full on outside run around like a crazy man" outside time?

9 out 10 cases of kids who "appear" to be ADHD simply lack the outside or large motor time.

To me it sounds like this kid is developmentally not equipped or mature enough to manage structured academics.

He sounds like the type of kid who needs to be in an environment that allows him to physically move when ever he needs to.

The moving, rubbing and constant active behaviors are signs that are basically screaming "I am NOT ready to sit in a classroom all day...I need to be a little kid and just play and run and play and run"

I know you run a preschool type program but in my honest opinion this kid doesn't sound like he is ready for or in need of that type of set up.....kwim?

Sounds to me like he is simply missing out on the fundamentals of play.

Needing to physically move is just like sleep. If that need isn't met, he isn't going to succeed in other areas such as sleep and eating and paying attention...etc.

This ^^^ and as a person with ADHD myself I will let you in on a few things.

1. Learning from lecture does not work. Modeling, repetition, graphics, hands on/child directed experimentation (and later READING) will be where most of the learning occurs. ADHD and graphic learning go hand in hand.

2. For every 15 minutes of table/rug/quiet activities there needs to be 30 minutes of physical activity. Stretches, aerobics, zumba, running relays... it all works wonders.

3. Carbs/Starches/Sugars (milk, fruit, bread, and pasta are sugar ) are the enemy during "institutional" time; remember "just a dab will do you". 45-60 minutes of physical activity after all meals will be necessary.

4. We are not meant to be cubicle people, the school system labeled us "disordered" but in reality, we are more likely to survive in the wild than most "model students". We also thrive and cope better in times of crisis. It is not a disability, it is an adaptation.... it just does not work well with our current educational system.

[Blackcat31]

Oh I know you spend time out side. I also KNOW your program is great about all areas of development.

What I am saying is it sounds like he needs ALL unstructured activities.

He needs to just go outside and play.

Not hiking, not doing a nature hunt, not doing anything specific...just playing/running.

I am really thinking he is having trouble simply because he isn't ready for any type of structure.

[Childminder]

Does he sleep at night? They are finding a large connection between lack of sleep and ADHD/ADD. Starts when infants and they don't learn routines and good sleep habits.

I had a little guy that parents never would make him sleep ànd ended up on Ritalin because his behavior was off the ceiling. About 3rd grade they moved and his new pediatrician suggested a sleep program at Children's Hospital. OMG! Not the same child.

[daycare]

This ^^^ and as a person with ADHD myself I will let you in on a few things.

1. Learning from lecture does not work. Modeling, repetition, graphics, hands on/child directed experimentation (and later READING) will be where most of the learning occurs. ADHD and graphic learning go hand in hand.

2. For every 15 minutes of table/rug/quiet activities there needs to be 30 minutes of physical activity. Stretches, aerobics, zumba, running relays... it all works wonders.

3. Carbs/Starches/Sugars (milk, fruit, bread, and pasta are sugar ) are the enemy during "institutional" time; remember "just a dab will do you". 45-60 minutes of physical activity after all meals will be necessary.

4. We are not meant to be cubicle people, the school system labeled us "disordered" but in reality, we are more likely to survive in the wild than most "model students". We also thrive and cope better in times of crisis. It is not a disability, it is an adaptation.... it just does not work well with our current educational system.

Thanks for posting.

I understand what you are saying, really I do and what you are saying is what my program sounds like. We are VERY hands on, we are not the kind that sit at tables and do ditto sheets or glue things together. If you want to you can, but we are more about getting dirty, digging thought bins of mud looking for objects, or bins of rice looking for things.

Today for example we will dance, we will participate in movement cards, we will roll dice and then jump the number of times read. Our stories are movement participation stories, move move move move move.

I don't offer the kind of program that requires anyone to SIT, except for table time.

[daycare]

Does he sleep at night? They are finding a large connection between lack of sleep and ADHD/ADD. Starts when infants and they don't learn routines and good sleep habits.

I had a little guy that parents never would make him sleep ànd ended up on Ritalin because his behavior was off the ceiling. About 3rd grade they moved and his new pediatrician suggested a sleep program at Children's Hospital. OMG! Not the same child.

DCM told me that he goes to bed around 9pm, but will play, toss, turn and get up out of bed a million times. She said that she goes to bed around 1am after watching her shows, and often she can still hear him talking or singing to himself in his room.

She said that he wakes up daily about 530-6am

He is not napping when here, just found this out.

[daycare]

Oh I know you spend time out side. I also KNOW your program is great about all areas of development.

What I am saying is it sounds like he needs ALL unstructured activities.

He needs to just go outside and play.

Not hiking, not doing a nature hunt, not doing anything specific...just playing/running.

I am really thinking he is having trouble simply because he isn't ready for any type of structure.

He does have this option to not follow out program. He can go with the younger kids in the free play/movement room.

My asst can not handle him, he will not listen to her, he breaks everything in there and because he is so hyper he will accidentally end up hurting one of the little ones.

[Cat Herder]

My asst can not handle him, he will not listen to her, he breaks everything in there and because he is so hyper he will accidentally end up hurting one of the little ones.

Is he destructive on purpose?

When he "will not listen" is it simple lack of attention/concentration or is he being defiant?

Do you have a way to keep him away from smaller kids?

[countrymom]

why hasn't mom did anything or brought him to the dr.
also, at night, since he can't turn himself off, maybe mom should try some melatonin. I know some don't agree with it, but it does work. Im wondering if he's so over tired now that he just doesn't know how to control it-like a second wind.
also, how is his eating and what is he eating. I also think maybe speaking to him in short sentences will work too.
also, is mom making excuses for the bad behavior--like the running on the field would have resulted in a punishment kwim.

[Cat Herder]

Thanks for posting.

I understand what you are saying, really I do and what you are saying is what my program sounds like.

I don't offer the kind of program that requires anyone to SIT, except for table time.

Oh, hun.. I don't think you make him sit at a table all day. :::::: I am telling you my experience, my life with this.

Honestly, from reading further.. I don't think simple ADHD is what you are dealing with.