Blood Curdling Screaming

[Blackcat31]

As far as carrying her around, I would not do it. If she's pulling on your legs wanting attention, I'd say "oh, you want a hug? why of course I'll give you a hug!" Then, bend down and hug her (don't pick her up). Then move on. I'd only carry her if I had to...to get her from A to B. But, I would make sure to give her lots of quick moments of hugs, pats, hair stroking throughout the day to reassure her.

Another thing I was taught in regards to difficult kids was do NOT pick them up. If they want to be held, immediately sit down and allow them to sit on your lap.

Do NOT pick them up and carry them. That gives them the false sense that they belong in "the world up there".... they do NOT. Their world is down low.

ANYTIME the child wants to be held, sit. Supposedly, the child will eventually learn that being held means being held down in their world and since that isn't as fun as being "UP", they stop wanting to be held.

I've never actually done it because I didn't learn about the technique until after my screamer kid but I have advised parents who say their child wants to be held all day at home to do it and have heard some really good success stores about it really working.

[Unregistered]

The room she sleeps in is dark. It's my son's room and the room is a royal blue color and it has denim curtains... .

She fights the sleep sacks now. She used to like them but now she gets more mad if I use them. I run a fan in her room. She has a pacifier that works while you hold her but as soon as you set her down she spits it out and starts her screaming. And like I said... if I go in to reassure her she gets even more mad when I leave again. It's a no win.

[Unregistered]

Another thing I was taught in regards to difficult kids was do NOT pick them up. If they want to be held, immediately sit down and allow them to sit on your lap.

Do NOT pick them up and carry them. That gives them the false sense that they belong in "the world up there".... they do NOT. Their world is down low.

ANYTIME the child wants to be held, sit. Supposedly, the child will eventually learn that being held means being held down in their world and since that isn't as fun as being "UP", they stop wanting to be held.

I've never actually done it because I didn't learn about the technique until after my screamer kid but I have advised parents who say their child wants to be held all day at home to do it and have heard some really good success stores about it really working.

In all honestly your style is more like mine Blackcat. I don't hold the kids much other than once in awhile I will sit down and watch a movie with them and one will climb in my lap on occasion. But I have noticed with this child especially that the more I pick her up the more she expects it so I try to meet her needs and not encourage much more. Every so often I will. I talk to her. I give her toys and show her how to play with them, ect but it doesn't take much for her to run with it.

[Leanna]

First of all... I don't want to hear people who wear babies all day tell me to do that. It's not an option. I will not even consider it. If you do that. More power to you. I am not judging you and I support your decision but I absolutely will not consider it. Please do not try to talk me into it or tell me I am terrible for not doing it.

Well alrighty then...

[jojosmommy]

The room she sleeps in is dark. It's my son's room and the room is a royal blue color and it has denim curtains... .

She fights the sleep sacks now. She used to like them but now she gets more mad if I use them. I run a fan in her room. She has a pacifier that works while you hold her but as soon as you set her down she spits it out and starts her screaming. And like I said... if I go in to reassure her she gets even more mad when I leave again. It's a no win.

Starting to wonder if we SHARE the same kid?! Lol.

Everything you have said is exactly what I would have said. Mom/dad cater to kid. Older sibling has been here forever too!

I dread this kid. I can not bond with a kid so miserable. I have done cio for two weeks (this is the 3rd week) of cio but she has been here since July. And no improvement.

I dislike that my dcks know "shes" here. They all dread her too. Its all I have each friday not to play Let Freedom Ring and tell her buh bye!

I feel bad for you.

[Laurel]

A year or so ago, I could have wrote the very same post.

I stuck it out. The kid got better, but until they turned a year old.

I look back now and I swear I must have lost my mind in all the screeching and crying because I have NO idea what I was thinking allowing it to continue on for as long as it did.

The parents were the SAME as you said...mom and dad taking turns passing back and forth, giving in until the next daycare day came so they could drop off and get a break.

I loved loved loved the family so I felt obligated to stick it out. I also had a sibling that I didn't want to leave either.

Anyways, my story ends with me doing ALL the hard work, putting up with the screeching, allowing the other kids to go silently insane and not understand at all why..... and the family up and pulls their child because they wanted a different type of environment. :confused:

My advice. Stop. Don't continue being the one who bears the majority of the weight in this situation. If the child isn't blending in and being happy, don't keep them.

Give the issue back to the parents. Whether they are or aren't on board doesn't matter. What matters is you care for a GROUP of children and ONE is making the GROUP miserable (including the provider) so stop allowing ONE child to set the tone for the day.

Let the parents know that you like/love them and the kid(s) but until the child is able, you just can't continue on the way things are.

(((Hugs))) for dealing. I will NEVER EVER EVER do that again. Did I mention NEVER?

[Heidi]

Well alrighty then...

yeah, I don't think OP meant in in a mean way. It's just a common answer, and if one isn't willing, for whatever reason, to baby-wear, why not cut to the chase and save you fine ladies who do the trouble?

Every time someone suggests it, I want to strap all 4 of my kids to me and take a picture to post, but I never have. It'd be pretty funny, though. ::

[Heidi]

Another thing I was taught in regards to difficult kids was do NOT pick them up. If they want to be held, immediately sit down and allow them to sit on your lap.

Do NOT pick them up and carry them. That gives them the false sense that they belong in "the world up there".... they do NOT. Their world is down low.

ANYTIME the child wants to be held, sit. Supposedly, the child will eventually learn that being held means being held down in their world and since that isn't as fun as being "UP", they stop wanting to be held.

I've never actually done it because I didn't learn about the technique until after my screamer kid but I have advised parents who say their child wants to be held all day at home to do it and have heard some really good success stores about it really working.

I may have read or heard that somewhere, too. Sometimes we gather information, file it away in the back of our brains, and have no clue where we got it. 'Specially if we're into "middle age" like me.

[daycarediva]

I would have a sit down with parents, give them a schedule that you do/are adhering to for baby, include less holding, not co sleeping and learning to self-soothe and state in the notice that if there is not significant improvement in baby's demeanor, you WILL be letting them go on X date.

No way, no how would I ever do this again. I lasted 9 months and every day was a nightmare. My kids hated it, my daycare kids hated it, my dh hated it, but most of all I hated it, every single second.

[Leigh]

I termed a screamer last spring. She was pure hell. The other kids hated her, would put their hands over their ears when she walked in the door. A 2 year old told me to kick her out of daycare. My husband was ready to divorce me, because I let it go on for 6 weeks (he works night shift), and he hadn't had a rest in that long. I did everything I could, but nothing was enough.

The child did the same at home. Her parents were not concerned, but told me that at 8 months, she was just spoiled, and that they just set her on the floor and ignore her, and that I should do the same.

The problem was that the child was allergic to milk, and the parents switched her from her milk-free formula back to milk-based. That is when the screaming started, and it never stopped. I pushed the parents to switch formula back to the one their doctor had advised for the milk allergy. I pushed them to take her to the doctor. They refused. The day I wrote the termination letter was the happiest day I had had since I accepted her into care. This kid was here 10 hours a day, and screamed 9.5 of them. She refused naps (in 6 weeks, that kid MAYBE slept 90 minutes here). Her parents put her to bed at 6PM screaming, and didn't get her up until it was time for daycare (8AM drop off). I felt so terribly sorry for that little girl, but she was not my child, and I could not let it be my problem any longer. I termed and I reported the parents to social services for the formula issue. I have no idea why these parents switched (probably because the Parent's Choice brand didn't make the formula they used), but they were making this poor girl's life hell and, literally, hurting her.

I'll never put up with an all-day screamer again. Not worth it, no matter how much you care for the kid OR the paycheck.

[blessed mom]

I think you should terminate.

Babies build confidence in that first year of life. You can't spoil them by holding them too much, they need to be held. After about 1 or just under that is a different story. It's not always possible in a day care situation to hold a baby as much as they need. It's not a good fit for you, so you may as well terminate.

[Unregistered]

yeah, I don't think OP meant in in a mean way. It's just a common answer, and if one isn't willing, for whatever reason, to baby-wear, why not cut to the chase and save you fine ladies who do the trouble?

Every time someone suggests it, I want to strap all 4 of my kids to me and take a picture to post, but I never have. It'd be pretty funny, though. ::

Yeah... I really didn't mean it to sound rude. I just wanted to be clear that it wasn't going to be something anyone would be able to talk me into.

I respect people who are willing to do that. Great for them but its just not for me. I need my space and I am clearly one who believes that it is completely possible to spoil an infant.

Not for me.

[Blackcat31]

Yeah... I really didn't mean it to sound rude. I just wanted to be clear that it wasn't going to be something anyone would be able to talk me into.

I respect people who are willing to do that. Great for them but its just not for me. I need my space and I am clearly one who believes that it is completely possible to spoil an infant.

Not for me.

So have you come to any conclusions as to what you are going to do?

[MyAngels]

Was the older brother this way, too? If not it could be an issue other than just wanting to be held.

I had this same child at one point and I just want to say it absolutely can turn around in some cases. I had various work around to get through it, and eventually mine turned into the sweetest child you could imagine. I've had both of her brothers here and they were both non-screamers . A lot of my little girls' issues were with over stimulation. Looking back, I think she would have been much happier with one-on-one care, but it did work out with a little time and some tough CIO sessions here.

[Unregistered]

So have you come to any conclusions as to what you are going to do?

Well give the fact that mom changed the story today and says she is fine at home and they don't have any problems with her at all I am thinking about terming instead of giving them the option to work it out. All the sudden her story has changed but don't they always I guess...

I honestly feel like its better than to work through this because I am at my limit and i don't want to deal with games. I just had a major death in my family and lost the closest person to me. She was my grandmother but more like my mother. She was also my backup help who lived next door to me and which I no longer have now for relief. I can't afford new cause she did it for free even.

Just too much weighing on me right now for games.