Wiggle Worms at Lunch

[LaLa1923]

My son sits at the table and eats with the daycare. ( He did go through a period where he ate with me)

When it comes to manners I teach it early. I don't really have to hound anything but it is modeled.

By two there is no excuse for acting up at the table. They eat or they don't.

If they act up they are removed from the table, they are finished with their meal.

I don't really have a problem with this, usually a simple no no and modeling the correct behavior works well.

I do not tolerate food or cups being thrown either.

[Meyou]

During daycare hours any child doing what you describe would be asked to leave the table and wouldn't be allowed back until they could follow the table rules. My kids followed the daycare rules during daycare hours until they went to school.

My rules are sit in your seat, use your manners, ask to be excused and no rude words.

[JoseyJo]

During daycare hours any child doing what you describe would be asked to leave the table and wouldn't be allowed back until they could follow the table rules. My kids followed the daycare rules during daycare hours until they went to school.

My rules are sit in your seat, use your manners, ask to be excused and no rude words.

Same here- and my children follow the daycare rules or leave the daycare area. (they are older)

[jenn]

I understand both sides of this. My daughter is given "special" because this is her home. She is in kindergarten and homeschooled. However, she is expected to follow safety rules & use her manners.

As for the mealtime question...
I expect there to be some wiggling, goofiness, and conversation.
I expect all children to sit on their bottom and remain there until dismissed. We use silverware at age appropriate levels, meaning they have it but some are still learning to use it correctly.
We do not play with our food or drinks.
If the goofiness involves open mouths full of food or food play, they are done.
I do encourage them to eat, rather than play, but do allow some talking. "Eat your food, please." I do not like meals to take forever. When they go to school, they will be lucky to get 20 minutes, so I want them to learn to focus on eating and playing later. I saw way to many kindergartners throw meals away, simply due to running out of time to eat.

[Cradle2crayons]

I also see both sides.

My own kids are 5 and 10. Hey have special to an extent that this is their house, their rooms are their rooms unless they CHOOSE to share THEIR toys in THEIR room. They get maybe a few more secret hugs and kisses etc.

But when it comes to MANNERS and daycare rules. They follow them ALL during daycare hours and on daycare days.

NOBODY is excluded from manners and rules, including myself.

My daughter was very sickly from birth until age 6. Her dr kept telling me, don't let her get away with murder because she had an asthma attack a week ago .

I didn't listen. It took me two years to clean up MY MESS. (Not her mess. MY MESS)

Regardless of adaptive issues, I never recommend not making all children follow the same rules at daycare.

That doesn't mean they don't get a LITTLE special. Special hugs, kisses, secret high fives etc etc.

But it does mean behaviorally, I expect the exact same from my children.

And treating hem different is a proven. FAIL. I learned the hard way. At first I thought it was just because she was sickly or she had lots of diagnoses on spectrums and abbreviations.

But it wasn't HER, it was me, treating her way tooooo special when it came to expectations.

[spud912]

I expect my children to follow the same rules as the daycare children. I am very adamant about being as fair as possible to everyone in the same room. The only exception I will make is if my children leave the room. For example, I expect the children to eat whatever I give them, including at snack time. My odd is often aware of "special" food I have (like granola bars or cookies I made the night before). If she is behaving well and I decide to reward her during snack time, then she has to eat in our office (a separate room where daycare kids are not allowed).

My children tend to have much better manners than daycare children because I follow through with my demands (like good manners) all the time, whereas I know the daycare parents do not always follow through with expecting their children to use manners when not in my care.

[daycare]

when it comes to eating, I make no exceptions to anyone, family or not.

I sit with the kids when we eat, so I take control of meal time conversations and make sure that they are positive and acceptable for table time.

The kids see how I behave at the table, setting the example for all to see.

I don't eat the same foods as the kids, but they would not touch my food if I paid them, so I don't worry about that.

We sit at the table, make polite conversation, we use our manners, please pass _________. May I be excused, push your chair in, plate in the sink.

Meal time is not a time for goofing off. When I am done with my food, I use that time to read a book to them in which I will ask a lot of open ended questions. If I am not reading a book, I will still make polite conversation with the children, teaching them how to conduct themselves at any meal time. ALL of my DCF are blown away with the manners their children have at the table.

If you are rude at the table, ie..blowing bubbles in your milk, wiping your face with your shirt, wiggle around in your chair, you will get down, go find your manners and will return when everyone else has completed their meal.

I would say that at least every child has had to get dismissed from that table at least one time before they understood that I am not joking around when it comes to table time.

Perhaps if you try sitting to eat with them and let them see that you are in their presence they will calm down and let you lead them on how you want them to behave....

[Play Care]

I also see both sides.

My own kids are 5 and 10. Hey have special to an extent that this is their house, their rooms are their rooms unless they CHOOSE to share THEIR toys in THEIR room. They get maybe a few more secret hugs and kisses etc.

But when it comes to MANNERS and daycare rules. They follow them ALL during daycare hours and on daycare days.

NOBODY is excluded from manners and rules, including myself.

My daughter was very sickly from birth until age 6. Her dr kept telling me, don't let her get away with murder because she had an asthma attack a week ago .

I didn't listen. It took me two years to clean up MY MESS. (Not her mess. MY MESS)

Regardless of adaptive issues, I never recommend not making all children follow the same rules at daycare.

That doesn't mean they don't get a LITTLE special. Special hugs, kisses, secret high fives etc etc.

But it does mean behaviorally, I expect the exact same from my children.

And treating hem different is a proven. FAIL. I learned the hard way. At first I thought it was just because she was sickly or she had lots of diagnoses on spectrums and abbreviations.

But it wasn't HER, it was me, treating her way tooooo special when it came to expectations.

OMG, I could have posted your post!!:: Older DD had a hard time with dc, and also some allergy/severe constipation issues. So I let things slide because I felt bad... And yeah, what a freaking mess