Am I Being Unreasonable?

[Familycare71]

She was frustrated that he hasn't been better after over a week since ear tubes and adenoidectomy is "supposed to be a simple surgery" and she doesn't want to miss more work for this surgery. I get that and offered her to keep him home without having to pay for those days he's gone but if I send him home then she pays full price. So I just don't get it...I know missing work costs money too...but geez...

Also...how can I avoid her springing stuff on me in the middle of drop offs? Just say no to all last minute requests? I'm tempted to send out a message that all requests not made a minimum of 24 hours in advance will not be honored. I know with experience I'll be able to rebuff her attempts to slip stuff by easier but lately she claims she forgot to tell me until the last minute...and it is frustrating that my inexperience with this is showing...

I agree with BC- he shouldn't have been there in the first place. And not to sound harsh but he will be there as long as you allow it.
Don't punish others because of one moms behavior- have one more conversation with this mom about what you will allow. Whatever you decide that to be. It would be a good idea to write it down and both of you keep a copy- it can be specific to this issue. Then if she drops off and asks for anything you didn't agree to turn her and dcb away at the door.
It is not typical for him to have a low grade fever or pain still- so he should be getting one on one care so that his needs are best met and he can be observed for any further changes- she decided to have him... She needs to take care of him!

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

I think probably the reason he is taking so long to recover is because right off the bat, she sent him to daycare instead of resting at home. I'm sure it set him back by quite a bit. He's a little kid, and being put under alone is a lot for his body to bounce back from, let alone the surgery, too.

It seems if he is running a fever, something else is wrong. Like the tubes are not healing or he got an infection in the incisions. Poor kid.

I guess I would just go over what my policy is for fever, unable to participate, etc. Are there are sick care places in your town she can take him to? More expensive but surely less than missing work.

[KIDZRMYBIZ]

Look like me and familycare were thinking alike at the same time!

[Kabob]

I agree with BC- he shouldn't have been there in the first place. And not to sound harsh but he will be there as long as you allow it.
Don't punish others because of one moms behavior- have one more conversation with this mom about what you will allow. Whatever you decide that to be. It would be a good idea to write it down and both of you keep a copy- it can be specific to this issue. Then if she drops off and asks for anything you didn't agree to turn her and dcb away at the door.
It is not typical for him to have a low grade fever or pain still- so he should be getting one on one care so that his needs are best met and he can be observed for any further changes- she decided to have him... She needs to take care of him!

Yes I was kicking myself as soon as she left for letting her blindside me again and he is at his home now. I don't intend to punish anyone else but I do feel I need to remind that requests for care need to happen the week prior to care as I feel I need to tighten up on this anyway. I'm still only a couple months into this so this all has been a learning experience for me and I've been writing this all down for my updated contract and handbook that I've been working on. I tried to prepare myself for everything but apparently I failed. I'm trying to make this better.

Hopefully the little guy will be better after resting 4 days at home.

[Unregistered]

I'm not a nurse. keep kid at home, don't want the liability.As for "special" request that I'm not ready for, standard answer is, "I will get back to you" or We don't do that, "We don't offer that service", "read my policies"

[Familycare71]

Look like me and familycare were thinking alike at the same time!

Ya know what they say about great minds!!

[Familycare71]

Yes I was kicking myself as soon as she left for letting her blindside me again and he is at his home now. I don't intend to punish anyone else but I do feel I need to remind that requests for care need to happen the week prior to care as I feel I need to tighten up on this anyway. I'm still only a couple months into this so this all has been a learning experience for me and I've been writing this all down for my updated contract and handbook that I've been working on. I tried to prepare myself for everything but apparently I failed. I'm trying to make this better.

Hopefully the little guy will be better after resting 4 days at home.

So new!! :hug: I dont think you can fully prepare for what parents do!!
You did good sending him home . Sounds like this mom is a piece of work!!
As for building a back bone you learn by mistakes a lot- we all have and still do! Just focus on some of the things you are 100% about (varies for each person I think) and practice with those- practice makes perfect! And never be afraid to say: as I got to thinking about.... I don't feel that is in my groups best interest

[Cradle2crayons]

Great idea except she works for her son's dr. When he was running a fever and had a terribly goopy eye, I required a dr note and the note said word for word what dcm claimed it was and that he could continue care. When I commented on it and that he still needed to go home, she got mad because she said she had a note. I wouldn't put it past her to have the dr fill it out to her satisfaction.

On a side note...can I see this form?

Sure can. It doesn't leave a spot for mom to input what she wants. It simply has MY observations on it and he dr answers the sections. I have kind of a template that I tweak for certain situations. Pm me your email and I'll shoot he template over

[Kabob]

So new!! :hug: I dont think you can fully prepare for what parents do!!
You did good sending him home . Sounds like this mom is a piece of work!!
As for building a back bone you learn by mistakes a lot- we all have and still do! Just focus on some of the things you are 100% about (varies for each person I think) and practice with those- practice makes perfect! And never be afraid to say: as I got to thinking about.... I don't feel that is in my groups best interest

Yeah...and boy have I been learning. It's been nice to come here to get "back up" so I know I'm not expecting too much...it seems I'm not being tough enough.

[Kabob]

Sure can. It doesn't leave a spot for mom to input what she wants. It simply has MY observations on it and he dr answers the sections. I have kind of a template that I tweak for certain situations. Pm me your email and I'll shoot he template over

Thank you!

[Cradle2crayons]

Thank you!

I sent the PDF and the word doc you can edit.

The PDF is easy to email to parents so they can print off also or to email it to he doctors office which I've done before.

[Mister Sir Husband]

I am hopefully going to be open within a couple weeks.. just waiting for my final inspection from ocfs. I did take the medical administration training so that I would be cleared by nys to give medicine to kids if needed.. but... only with written permission from the parents & the same from the doctor. Now even if I have both of these forms in my hands filled out correctly, its still my call. The paperwork says I am allowed to, not that I have to. In this case I wouldn't. The child would be home until he was fever free for 24 hours without medicine.

[Kabob]

Yeah well of course she sent a message saying she took dcb to dr and he is perfectly normal and got a note clearing him to return today so she wants to send him back. Seriously...he's been on ibuprofen nonstop and still has a low grade fever. I don't classify that as normal...

[Mister Sir Husband]

Yeah well of course she sent a message saying she took dcb to dr and he is perfectly normal and got a note clearing him to return today so she wants to send him back. Seriously...he's been on ibuprofen nonstop and still has a low grade fever. I don't classify that as normal...

I'd let him come back, no medicine for a few hours or into the afternoon and then take his temp if any behavior or actions from him seems to warrent it. If a fever is there, call mom and tell her to come get him. And with my fever free for 24 hours rule she can't bring him again til Monday

[Cradle2crayons]

Yeah well of course she sent a message saying she took dcb to dr and he is perfectly normal and got a note clearing him to return today so she wants to send him back. Seriously...he's been on ibuprofen nonstop and still has a low grade fever. I don't classify that as normal...

The reason why the dr have to fill out MY forms is because parents rarely tell the dr the whole story so that dr has to make a decision based on partial information.

On my form I would have put about discomfort, irritability, fever, around the clock ibuprofene to.

I also would have required the visit to be with the surgeon not pediatrician.