When It's Hard To Be Honest

[Unregistered]

My daughter is simply a brat. She wants what she wants when she wants it. AT HOME.

For everyone else, she's great! The sad part? I was SAHM for a LONG time and she was like that then and now that I work, she's like that now.

It doesn't get any easier.

One thing I do with my family is each kid rotates dates with mom. Some months, I do doubles and pick 2 kids and then the next 2 get to go the following week. I also made sure that the bratty kid joined a sport and make sure I get to see her doing it (she looks for me, and she's now 6). She feels slighted, I think, because older sister is a bossy "little mommy" and she hates when little mommy tells her what to do. Also little mommy gets to do more "stuff" (she's a tween and my 6yo doesn't understand that she isn't). So some of it is jealousy and wanting the same freedoms as big sister.

She's just simply a really difficult kid to deal with. She gets plenty of attention and discipline, but it doesn't seem to make her less difficult at home. She's the first of all 4 to have ever thrown a fit. I was at a loss when she did it the first time because it shocked me that she was like this but not the other children. We do our best and still, her behavior just isn't where *I* would like it.

I feel at my wits end sometimes! And I am sure your DCM feels the same way. Maybe she does work too much, but maybe some of it is that she knows the child is more stable with you.

Little dates are great, BUT that being said, I would not lead her to believe that it'll change overnight or even at ALL but that it's a great first-step. (Because I give my kid little dates, and she's still a monster). I love her, of course. She's just really still a really hard kid.

[daycare]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg

whoops! messed up the quote

OMG you must be a fly on the wall.....I watched this and was like.....OMG someone finally knows how I feel dealing with this mother. I showed my husband without saying anything to him other than "watch this video" his reply was "hey, that's your DCM"!!!!!

DCM talked my ears off on Friday and I just basically said, I really wish there was more that I could do, but I don't have any control over what happens in your home. I think it would be a good idea to entertain some parenting classes. Then just stopped talking....



UGH.. I am sure DCM will come in tomorrow and do the same exact thing.

[TwinKristi]

I have an almost 2yr old DCB who throws these massive temper tantrums for mom but not for me. He's thrown maybe 1 tantrum about taking a nap a couple months ago and told him firmly to stop and that he doesn't get his way for throwing a fit and walked him to bed and put him down. That's really been the extent of a tantrum here. Mom even took a video and sent it to me. Laying on the floor, kicking and crying hysterically. It's almost laughable because then she gives him something he wants and he stops. Well hello? That's why he's doing it. I don't give in to misbehavior. Not with my kids, not with DCKs. Some people may think its mean, but it works for me. If you whine and cry for something you don't get it. DCB whines about things all day long. He can talk really well for his age, but whines so much. It drives me crazy most days but I guess mom isn't bothered by that, just the tantrums. He threw his plate of food on the floor one day when his 4yr old sister was here (which is rare) and she said "oh he always does that at home!" LOL Well he won't do it here! Never has done it again. I took his plate and he got down and was excused from lunch.
It's the whole issue with parents being away from their kids for so much of the day and then the time they're with them is always compensating for the time they're not together. Expensive clothes, lots of toys, nice houses and cars... They say that's why they work but really, if they cut out the extras many could probably stay home but it's not for them. They need that outside interaction and success. Keeps us working though right? LOL