Tell Me What You Would Do (And Feel)...

[Leanna]

SO DCM comes in with DCG (7 mos.) this morning and announces, "She pooped on the way over!" Well, I was in the kitchen with DCB (3) and he was helping me dry dishes. The changing table is right in the dining room/living room where the kids play in the early morning. DCM proceeds to take the baby's coat off and stand in front of the changing table...I know she expected me to come in, take the baby, and change her diaper. This mom will often come in and say, "I think she is wet!" or when she comes to nurse her midday she will tell me (as she is leaving) that she probably needs to be changed (even though at this time I am in the middle of storytime and then putting all the other kids to bed).

Well, this morning I just said, "Oh did she?" and kept working with DCB. Mom stood there for about five minutes before she started to change her herself. Then she asked where her diapers were, where her wipes were (she knows they are in the bottom drawer of the changing table) and then she told me that she needed my help! Really? I know what I did was a little passive-aggressive, but I just think that if you know your baby needs changing, change her! (FTR she was not running late or anything). Now, I am still a little annoyed but I also feel a little bad. What would you have done - would you have changed baby or had mom do it? Would you have said anything? Would you have been annoyed?

[SSWonders]

Yep. I would've been more than a little annoyed. I would've told her "The changing table is right there and her things are in the drawer." Only time I would take over is IF I wasn't doing anything at the moment.

[JenNJ]

I would have pointed her to the supplies and had her do it since you were busy with another child. If I am busy (which is OFTEN at drop off -- getting my kids on the bus, starting activities with older kids, settling in the younger ones, etc.) I direct parents to the supplies and expect them to change it themselves. If I am not busy, I handle it.

A diaper change takes about a minute. There isn't anyone in the world who can't spare one minute for their child. And she clearly had the time to stand there for five minutes so she had the time to change it. I have never had a parent not at least offer though. That is weird...

[daycarediva]

I send home clean, freshly changed kids and that's how I expect to get them. I don't change dirty kids upon arrival.

[Willow]

Why do you feel bad that you had mom change her own child's diaper?

It's not as if she pooped after drop off and you called mom to tell her to come back and change it, she BROUGHT her that way!

[Leanna]

Why do you feel bad that you had mom change her own child's diaper?

It's not as if she pooped after drop off and you called mom to tell her to come back and change it, she BROUGHT her that way!

Because I am a wimp .

I guess I feel like I either should have just ****ed it up and changed her OR been more assertive. Preferably the second one, but again, a wimp.

[dbslas]

I would have/ and have done exactly what the others have said. Tell parent where the supplies are, and gone about my business. You should not feel bad whatsoever -- but the mom should.

[Blackcat31]

I send home clean, freshly changed kids and that's how I expect to get them. I don't change dirty kids upon arrival.

I often have one who does her toileting business in the car ride over. DCM usually tries to pass it off onto me.... I have NO problem telling her that I won't accept her into care until she is ready for the day and "ready" means a fresh, clean diaper.

I will do the same upon pick up. It should go both ways.

Imagine mom's reaction if you were to hand the child over at pick up and say "Here you go mom, I think she pooped during snack time" and then leave mom with a poopy kid.


Although you wish you would have been more assertive, you still did right by NOT simply taking the child and doing mom's job for her. So still a big win for you and a poopy diaper for mom.

[Play Care]

You did the right thing - the only thing I would have done differently is point out clearly to mom where things were. "Oh she did? Well the changing table and supplies are right there" to attempt to alleviate any awkwardness (like her standing there for five minutes:: ) If I was feeling especially snarky I might say in a joking (but not really) tone "I won't send them home in a poopy diaper, so I don't want them coming in with one!"

[cheerfuldom]

If kids come here soiled, I don't mind that the parents drop off and leave but I am not going to stop whatever I am doing to change the baby that second. They will just have to wait. If the parents want immediate service, they can do it themselves. you did the right thing.

[daycare]

In my policy it states:

children must arrive clean, properly dressed and ready for their day.......

This would fall under that rule....

I would have done exactly what you did, or said Oh that stinks, her stuff is.............................

[christine19720]

I send home clean, freshly changed kids and that's how I expect to get them. I don't change dirty kids upon arrival.

Yep. Same here

[crazydaycarelady]

I prefer to spend as little time as possible with the parents because they cause me the most grief. That being said I would not have stopped what I was doing, I would have told mom to do it herself or set her down and I would get to it when I was done.

[TwinKristi]

Yep. I would've been more than a little annoyed. I would've told her "The changing table is right there and her things are in the drawer." Only time I would take over is IF I wasn't doing anything at the moment.

This...

[momofboys]

You did the right thing - the only thing I would have done differently is point out clearly to mom where things were. "Oh she did? Well the changing table and supplies are right there" to attempt to alleviate any awkwardness (like her standing their for five minutes:: ) If I was feeling especially snarky I might say in a joking (but not really) tone "I won't send them home in a poopy diaper, so I don't want them coming in with one!" :cool:

Yes! Not sure if I could say it but I love it~