Tell Me What You Would Do (And Feel)...

[blessed mom]

I often have one who does her toileting business in the car ride over. DCM usually tries to pass it off onto me.... I have NO problem telling her that I won't accept her into care until she is ready for the day and "ready" means a fresh, clean diaper.

I will do the same upon pick up. It should go both ways.

Imagine mom's reaction if you were to hand the child over at pick up and say "Here you go mom, I think she pooped during snack time" and then leave mom with a poopy kid.


Although you wish you would have been more assertive, you still did right by NOT simply taking the child and doing mom's job for her. So still a big win for you and a poopy diaper for mom.

I am having a similar problem with a dcm that brings her child with a full diaper wet from the night before...always "running late" I've asked nicely...but still brinsg the child wet. Worst part is then the child sits on my furniture and soaks it! I don't get it. Why would you leave your child wet that long and not take a few minutes to change them? Not to mention as you said...I give your child back to you nice and dry...why not give me the same? It's your child!! Be the parent!!!

Another dcm wants me to brush her daughters teeth because she doesn't have time! What? I was willing to do it when dcm dropped her off at 6am but not when you are dropping off late morning. Be a mom for goodness sakes.

And what's with leaving your child with me all day on your day off? Poor kid hardly sees you as it is. I feel bad for him.

Sorry...I'm just on a roll today. Maybe this should have been in the venting thread?

[Shell]

I prefer to spend as little time as possible with the parents because they cause me the most grief. That being said I would not have stopped what I was doing, I would have told mom to do it herself or set her down and I would get to it when I was done.

[melilley]

If kids come here soiled, I don't mind that the parents drop off and leave but I am not going to stop whatever I am doing to change the baby that second. They will just have to wait. If the parents want immediate service, they can do it themselves. you did the right thing.

Same here. Plus they would have to walk through my house to get to the changing table because it's in my son's room and he's usually sleeping during drop off time. Op, you did the right thing.

[Laurel]

SO DCM comes in with DCG (7 mos.) this morning and announces, "She pooped on the way over!" Well, I was in the kitchen with DCB (3) and he was helping me dry dishes. The changing table is right in the dining room/living room where the kids play in the early morning. DCM proceeds to take the baby's coat off and stand in front of the changing table...I know she expected me to come in, take the baby, and change her diaper. This mom will often come in and say, "I think she is wet!" or when she comes to nurse her midday she will tell me (as she is leaving) that she probably needs to be changed (even though at this time I am in the middle of storytime and then putting all the other kids to bed).

Well, this morning I just said, "Oh did she?" and kept working with DCB. Mom stood there for about five minutes before she started to change her herself. Then she asked where her diapers were, where her wipes were (she knows they are in the bottom drawer of the changing table) and then she told me that she needed my help! Really? I know what I did was a little passive-aggressive, but I just think that if you know your baby needs changing, change her! (FTR she was not running late or anything). Now, I am still a little annoyed but I also feel a little bad. What would you have done - would you have changed baby or had mom do it? Would you have said anything? Would you have been annoyed?

If it was a very occasional thing it wouldn't bother me but in your situation I would be irritated.

I would have probably said "Well right now I'm busy, could you get it?" Big smile! Then once in a while if I wasn't busy I'd get it. I wouldn't want it to look like I'd never do it as that sounds like tit for tat to me. I just don't like that she stands there waiting for you to do it automatically.

Laurel

[melilley]

I am having a similar problem with a dcm that brings her child with a full diaper wet from the night before...always "running late" I've asked nicely...but still brinsg the child wet. Worst part is then the child sits on my furniture and soaks it! I don't get it. Why would you leave your child wet that long and not take a few minutes to change them? Not to mention as you said...I give your child back to you nice and dry...why not give me the same? It's your child!! Be the parent!!!

Another dcm wants me to brush her daughters teeth because she doesn't have time! What? I was willing to do it when dcm dropped her off at 6am but not when you are dropping off late morning. Be a mom for goodness sakes.

And what's with leaving your child with me all day on your day off? Poor kid hardly sees you as it is. I feel bad for him.

Sorry...I'm just on a roll today. Maybe this should have been in the venting thread?

I don't mind changing them if they need it when they get here, but if they were like the child you described above, I would surely tell them. I just don't get parents that do that.

And about the teeth brushing thing-we brush teeth here after lunch and I had a dcm who said "great, you brush teeth. I always forget or we're often too busy!" Wth? Don't the parents brush their own teeth? At least give the child the tooth brush and let them do it, it's better than nothing!

And I also have dcp's who have had the day off often and their child is here all day! I do get it, they want some time, but all day and EVERY day they have off? I would feel horrible if I did that to my kids! One dcm came to pick up once and told me that she had to take a wellness day.. AKA go shopping.

[blessed mom]

I don't mind changing them if they need it when they get here, but if they were like the child you described above, I would surely tell them. I just don't get parents that do that.

And about the teeth brushing thing-we brush teeth here after lunch and I had a dcm who said "great, you brush teeth. I always forget or we're often too busy!" Wth? Don't the parents brush their own teeth? At least give the child the tooth brush and let them do it, it's better than nothing!

And I also have dcp's who have had the day off often and their child is here all day! I do get it, they want some time, but all day and EVERY day they have off? I would feel horrible if I did that to my kids! One dcm came to pick up once and told me that she had to take a wellness day.. AKA go shopping.

Exactly my concern. Occasional changing and lateness. Sure no problem. I don't mind helping. You are dropping off at 6am? I can see you need help...sure I will brush their teeth in the morning. You need an occasional day to yourself? Sure I'm sure your child doesn't mind being here for a few hours while you get some things done or relax. But every day? All the time? This sounds harsh but some parents are so lazy and want you to do...not what you are hired for...but what they should be doing as parents. So sad to me.

[grateday]

Expectations from others that are not warranted

I never had a mom expect that from me ever. Most moms get down there and do it themselves. Wow. I guess I would have replied the way you did but I would be annoyed too if I were busy and she expected you to stop like it was some emergency and tend to her child when she is right there. Uggg that sounds so much like my own sister. <Kind of bossy and wanting people to do things for her> If you ever feared her leaving over it, good riddance, is it worth it? She will find out for herself that other people will be just as annoyed.

[Cradle2crayons]

I am having a similar problem with a dcm that brings her child with a full diaper wet from the night before...always "running late" I've asked nicely...but still brinsg the child wet. Worst part is then the child sits on my furniture and soaks it! I don't get it. Why would you leave your child wet that long and not take a few minutes to change them? Not to mention as you said...I give your child back to you nice and dry...why not give me the same? It's your child!! Be the parent!!!


dont blame the parent so much here. You allow her to drop the child off like that and she's doing what you are allowing. Simply refuse to accept the child and explain why


Another dcm wants me to brush her daughters teeth because she doesn't have time! What? I was willing to do it when dcm dropped her off at 6am but not when you are dropping off late morning. Be a mom for goodness sakes.


same deal as above. Simply tell the mother no!!


And what's with leaving your child with me all day on your day off? Poor kid hardly sees you as it is. I feel bad for him.

i do contracted care only and that stops the problem above also.

Sorry...I'm just on a roll today. Maybe this should have been in the venting thread?

I found out a long time ago that parents aren't going to do the right one just because we want them to. We have to make our policy and enforce it. Policies without enforcement is just a wasted piece of paper. :hug: demand to be treated with respect. You deserve it.

[KidGrind]

Due to the set up of my home, I would've taken the child. I would've said goodbye to the mother and locked my door.

I think what you did suited your environment & situation. I applaud you. I definitely wouldn't feel bad about it. Sometimes parents view us as The Help.

[blessed mom]

I found out a long time ago that parents aren't going to do the right one just because we want them to. We have to make our policy and enforce it. Policies without enforcement is just a wasted piece of paper. :hug: demand to be treated with respect. You deserve it.

I agree...first time shame on you second time shame on me. It's just sad though when you ask nicely and explain why and yet...changes are short lived. Not only is it better for your own child...it's better for me too. Why is it so hard to do the right thing concerning your own child? That's just sad to me. I sometimes feel like I care more then the parent does. So what...now I have to check your child at drop off and make sure you changed them before you leave all because you could care less if your child was wet and you'd rather run to Starbucks on the way to my house instead~! Seriously? I have done what was needed and stood my ground when necessary. I just find it sad that it has to get to that point. Parenthood is a whole bunch of inconveniences. Get used to it...get over it...and do what is right for that little human you brought into this world. Just sayin....

[Leanna]

So there was a somewhat repeat performance of this scenario this morning...except mom waited until she had handed the baby to me before she announced, "Oh look! She pooped. I thought she was in the car!" Sigh. Well, at least she gets points for being bold and sly.

[sharlan]

Next time, just hand her back to Mom and remind her where the wipes and fresh diapers are.

[MrsSteinel'sHouse]

I would have changed her. I have often time had parents volunteer but generally it is easier for me just to do it. That said the other day at pick up I felt bad, we had been outside and one of the twins had pooped and I hadn't realized it. Mom was great, we were outside, I still had others, and she lives close by. She said, only fair they have pooped on the way over here before and you always get them. Plopped him in the car and took him home to change. She already had the other twin buckled in. He would have screamed if either of us had tried to take him inside to change him.
I am an awesome diaper changer though and it doesn't bother me at all to change them. I always tease parents, just changed his poopie diaper. I try to convience them they should wait for home!

[coolconfidentme]

In my policy it states:

children must arrive clean, properly dressed and ready for their day.......

This would fall under that rule....

I would have done exactly what you did, or said Oh that stinks, her stuff is.............................

When I updated my policy I added, "Bring your child(ren) to our childcare home in a clean, unsoiled diaper." Sad you have to spell it out for some parents.