Only Children Trend ?

[blandino]

Has anyone noticed a trend of more and more only children ?

Growing up, I knew maybe 5 kids who were only children, it was very unusual. Now I have met many people who have 1 child and intend on keeping it that way.

It could very well be the economy, or that I am dealing with working parents who have to figure the expense of childcare for multiple children. But it just seems like there are so many more only children now.

[Size18]

Absolutely... Changing times (today) as compared to way back when... when two's, three's, and four's, where common numbers.

Never once babysat for an only child family in all the years I sat.

[craftymissbeth]

We are an only child household. Initially, it was health issues on my end that kept us from having another, but now we have come to accept that we may only have one. It definitely is always on our minds, but we feel that (for us) it would be selfish to have another when there are other children out there who need a family. We would love to adopt one day.

[Rubysmom]

I got married at 35 and I was 38 before I had my one and only. I suspect with people marrying later and others delaying having kids, one is becoming fairly common. I also have clients who feel one is enough financially and time wise to handle.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

It is becoming more common and is why people are horrified when you mention having more than (gasp) two children. Or, they start asking questions like, "Another one?" or "Don't you know what causes that?"

Two is the new four and one is the new two. ::

I have one adopted and one biological. I would love to add additional biological children. Adopting brings up a whole host of issues (sometimes) and I can't do it again.

[WImom]

Yep, most of my kids are only children or they have siblings a lot older (they are 3y or 4y and their siblings are 10-13 years old)

[MissAnn]

It is becoming more common and is why people are horrified when you mention having more than (gasp) two children. Or, they start asking questions like, "Another one?" or "Don't you know what causes that?"

Two is the new four and one is the new two. ::

I have one adopted and one biological. I would love to add additional biological children. Adopting brings up a whole host of issues (sometimes) and I can't do it again.

We also have one we adopted and one biological. We thought we were done when my son came along.

[AcornMama]

It is becoming more common and is why people are horrified when you mention having more than (gasp) two children. Or, they start asking questions like, "Another one?" or "Don't you know what causes that?"

This is why I've been saying for a while that I need to get a t-shirt made that says:

"Yes, they're all mine.
Yes, I know what causes this.
Thanks, but I already have a tv in my bedroom.
No, I'm not superwoman."

And the likes.

In response to "Don't you know what causes that?" my dh likes to put on a big goofy grin and say, "Absolutely!"

[DaisyMamma]

I see it around here more too. Although most people have two.
There are so few kids that we closed one of our schools. Two home daycares closed in the last year or two as well.

[Laurel]

I think fewer stay at home moms is part of the issue. It is easier to have more children if one parent can stay home.

Also, I see far fewer nuclear families. I mean families where mom and dad are married and have their biological children. I have had so many parents over the years who are raising a child in the same home but not married, a second marriage with biological and step children, parents who are separated or were never married and child goes back and forth, etc.

Of the 3 families in my daycare I have one single mom, one mom on second marriage with one biological child and one step child, one child with parents living together but not married.

With more mom's working outside the home and the social structure of 'families' changing it seems to make sense that they would have less children.

Laurel

[MBF]

the parents of my little ones are all in their late 30's , so some are debating, but a couple have already decided they are done with one!

[daycarediva]

Late in life babies, career driven women, cost of childcare, relationships not lasting long enough for there to be the consideration of siblings. Lots of factors, lots of onlies.

3 of my daycare kids have parents that are married.
2 have divorced parents.
1 has parents that were never together.
2 have absentee Dads/no father involved.

All but two are only children. 1 is one of my married daycare parents who timed #2 to arriive when #1 starts school, the other is single mom with two kida by two dads

I grew up in a predominately catholic area--everyone was irish, italian or latino. The family across the street had 7 children, my bff from babyhood is 1 of 6. It is still a trend here, too.

[littlemissmuffet]

Both hubs and I have one older sibling each.
We decided early on to only have one child. People told us we would change our mind after having one. Having our daighter actually solidified our decision. She's perfect - our whole world... I couldn't imagine bringing another child into the mix. Our family is complete in every sense.

I don't want to divide our resources (attention, time, money, belongings, etc) between multiple children.

I find that most parents of multiple children that we know make snide remarks about our decision - but I'm learning that it's just jealousy. Example, I spent over a ridiculous amount of money decorating my daughter's nursery and had almost everything of hers custom made. Her nursery is a little piece of heaven - which all three of us love being in. Many people said things like "Oh, well are you going to spend that much money and effort on your next baby?"... and when I would tell them we were only have one they would follow up with something as equally rude and nosey as "Well, expect to have to spoil her her whole life now". I wasn't aware that spending my hard earned money on giving my family a special room to bond in could be considered spoiling an infant It seems to bother people that we actually planned and SAVED to have a child!!!

We get CONSTANT comments about how our daughter is spoiled because we like to spend time with her and because we spend alot of money on her (including saving for her future). We have a VERY happy, mellow, well-adjusted baby... she doesn't cry when we leave the room, she doesn't cry when she isn't being held, hell she just doesn't really cry! She goes to sleep on her own, she plays contently on her own, she smiles all day long, she's a great eater, she doesn't get sick... but we're obviously doing wrong because we spend too much time and money on her! ::

I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.

[Margarete]

I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.

I'm not sure if you are currently doing child care, but I don't know how any child growing up in a family child care home, or to a mom knowledgeable in the field (as you will make sure she has interactions with other children) could grow up lonely. Spoiled though is a relative term, I'm sure there are people who think we spoil our daughter, and others who think we are depriving her in some way or another.

[daycarediva]

Both hubs and I have one older sibling each.
We decided early on to only have one child. People told us we would change our mind after having one. Having our daighter actually solidified our decision. She's perfect - our whole world... I couldn't imagine bringing another child into the mix. Our family is complete in every sense.

I don't want to divide our resources (attention, time, money, belongings, etc) between multiple children.

I find that most parents of multiple children that we know make snide remarks about our decision - but I'm learning that it's just jealousy. Example, I spent over a ridiculous amount of money decorating my daughter's nursery and had almost everything of hers custom made. Her nursery is a little piece of heaven - which all three of us love being in. Many people said things like "Oh, well are you going to spend that much money and effort on your next baby?"... and when I would tell them we were only have one they would follow up with something as equally rude and nosey as "Well, expect to have to spoil her her whole life now". I wasn't aware that spending my hard earned money on giving my family a special room to bond in could be considered spoiling an infant It seems to bother people that we actually planned and SAVED to have a child!!!

We get CONSTANT comments about how our daughter is spoiled because we like to spend time with her and because we spend alot of money on her (including saving for her future). We have a VERY happy, mellow, well-adjusted baby... she doesn't cry when we leave the room, she doesn't cry when she isn't being held, hell she just doesn't really cry! She goes to sleep on her own, she plays contently on her own, she smiles all day long, she's a great eater, she doesn't get sick... but we're obviously doing wrong because we spend too much time and money on her! ::

I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.

That's just ridiculous of someone to even say. Why do people think they have any right to say ANYTHING in regards to how someone chooses to plan their family.

I have 4 kids, and dividing time+money between them IS a challenge and any mom with 2+ would agree with me, if they are being honest. Kudos to you for making the right decision for YOUR family. I wouldn't trade my 4 for anything in the world, and it's the right decision for MY family.

I'm not sure if you are currently doing child care, but I don't know how any child growing up in a family child care home, or to a mom knowledgeable in the field (as you will make sure she has interactions with other children) could grow up lonely. Spoiled though is a relative term, I'm sure there are people who think we spoil our daughter, and others who think we are depriving her in some way or another.