Only Children Trend ?

[littlemissmuffet]

Margarete, I absolutely am currently doing childcare and likely will until our daughter is in school (what level, I'm still not sure of). She has built in friends!!! She also has three cousins she is very close to and sees on a very regular basis - they are like her siblings.

Daycarediva, isn't it outrageous. You are entirely correct, everyone needs to plan and do what works best for their family. You enjoy and can handle having 4 children - we KNOW we would not - so you and I have two completely different families but are both happy. My sister has three children and though she admits it can be so much harder than having one at times she of course would never change a thing!

[Leigh]

Maybe it has to do with where you live. I have been seeing more and more early marriages and larger families (4+ kids). There are many families in my area with more than 10 kids! There are several large religious communities within a 40 mile radius of me, and they have large families, but I see it with lots of people these days. My own generation (40-ish), I have seen lots of 1-2 kid families, but also plenty with 4 or 5.

[Starburst]

I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.

Most kids now are spoiled, even if they aren't only kids- it's the parenting style, not how much children there are! I know a 2 year old who has his own iPad (I am 22 and I don't even have an iPad- I barely have an iPhone only because my cousin upgraded and gave me her old phone), he also has a baby sister. And his mom still wants another one (SAHM).

Pretty much everything has to do with how they were raised, that's why when ever people get on the band wagon and say "oh, violent video games, R-rated movies and explicit music is to blame for the deterioration of this generation" I think "Really? Who is the one buying these for the children? When do the parents or even the individuals take responsibility for their choices". I grew up watching violent movies and listing to rap and rock but I never drank, did drugs, or tried to harm anyone.

Sorry I am rambling but I just hate when people make assumptions based on old wives tales when the truth is most things very from family to family and even person to person.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Both hubs and I have one older sibling each.
We decided early on to only have one child. People told us we would change our mind after having one. Having our daighter actually solidified our decision. She's perfect - our whole world... I couldn't imagine bringing another child into the mix. Our family is complete in every sense.

I don't want to divide our resources (attention, time, money, belongings, etc) between multiple children.

I find that most parents of multiple children that we know make snide remarks about our decision - but I'm learning that it's just jealousy. Example, I spent over a ridiculous amount of money decorating my daughter's nursery and had almost everything of hers custom made. Her nursery is a little piece of heaven - which all three of us love being in. Many people said things like "Oh, well are you going to spend that much money and effort on your next baby?"... and when I would tell them we were only have one they would follow up with something as equally rude and nosey as "Well, expect to have to spoil her her whole life now". I wasn't aware that spending my hard earned money on giving my family a special room to bond in could be considered spoiling an infant It seems to bother people that we actually planned and SAVED to have a child!!!

We get CONSTANT comments about how our daughter is spoiled because we like to spend time with her and because we spend alot of money on her (including saving for her future). We have a VERY happy, mellow, well-adjusted baby... she doesn't cry when we leave the room, she doesn't cry when she isn't being held, hell she just doesn't really cry! She goes to sleep on her own, she plays contently on her own, she smiles all day long, she's a great eater, she doesn't get sick... but we're obviously doing wrong because we spend too much time and money on her! ::

I even had a person on this forum PM me and question how I could dare only have one child because she will grow up lonely and likely become spoiled.

I LOVE beautiful nurseries! I would love to see some pictures of it if you are ever comfortable sharing (either on a thread or via PM). happyface

As for being spoiled ... people think everything spoils a child it seems. LOL! My 1 month old daughter does not cry it out EVER and won't be and I get told all the time that she "rules the roost" by people. She is one month old ... seriously. There is also a difference between being spoiled and spoiled rotten, in my opinion. ::

[countrymom]

I also think its where you live because its so rare anyone has 1 child here, the more norm now is 4 kids or more. Oh, in my town there are so many that have 4 kids or more that we joke about not drinking the water, thats what you get for living in the country !

[Unregistered]

the worlds resources

The overpopulation and the reducing natural resources of our world points to this becoming a painful but maybe necessary trend. And if you look at worldwide statistics, developed countries are fairly stable population wise, but third world countries have populations that are skyrocketing.

[Unregistered]

I LOVE beautiful nurseries! I would love to see some pictures of it if you are ever comfortable sharing (either on a thread or via PM). happyface

As for being spoiled ... people think everything spoils a child it seems. LOL! My 1 month old daughter does not cry it out EVER and won't be and I get told all the time that she "rules the roost" by people.

Those are obviously people who know nothing about the latest infant/child care research. Most Nurses and ECE experts now are advising against CIO (my local news station has local commercials raising awareness about it) and insist that you cannot spoil an infant by showing them affection. They are still in Erikson's stage of trust vs. mistrust- and dependability is a big trust factor!

Lol, Yesterday I was watching that episode of Reba when she was trying to get Cheyenne and Van to do CIO for the baby and told her that's what she did when Cheyenne was a baby and she said "what? I was just a baby! I only wanted my mommy!" And Van said "Did you think it was funny?! is it some kinda sick game" Lol

[Bookworm]

I've had Church Ladies ask when I will give my mom another child. I said never.(medical issues). One of them told me that I was selfish and children are a gift from God. My response was only for the wanted ones. No one should have to defend their opinions on something so personal.

[Candy]

Yes especially among the wealthy. I have no idea why but many of kids that i meet that are only chldren have serious behavior issues. Not all but some. I never wanted just one child I don't think it would fit me very well. Although one thing that drives me nuts is when these business women wait til they are in their mid 30's or early 40's to have kids then get mad because it takes so long. Like duh you didn't see this coming.