4yo Chewing Clothing?

[Willow]

What are other symptoms of anxiety or attachment disorder? He is a perfectly normal 4 year old, with perfectly normal, loving parents. He honestly has the most 'normal' family in care (extended family are active in his life, his parents live together and are happily married) By not overly affectionate, I mean that he doesn't constantly hug/kiss and will do so 1-3x a day on his own but if someone comes up to him to hug him he says "no thank you" and walks away, myself included. He isn't aggressive, no separation issues. He says he misses parents, etc. They DO hug/kiss him.

I AM willing AND able to help and support him, which is why I posted it here and really do not want to term. He is a SWEET kid, very smart, very verbal, NO real behavioral issues. Plays well, has AMAZING self help skills, has been here two years, says he loves me and misses me every Monday morning, etc.

Attachment disorders aren't always the result of being poorly parented. And anxiety disorders in children are notoriously difficult to diagnose.

I too appeared perfectly normal, happy and intelligent on the outside, while on the inside I was one big ball of tightly knotted and frayed nerves. I was a nail biter, and was frequently reminded how disgusting my coping mechanism was. That did not make things any better.


As a provider you have to decide what you can and can't deal with. A child chewing on his shirt or other items is no grosser to me than a baby who drools all over themselves, their clothes and on toys. If you don't feel the same way that's ok, but if you're trying to help him I'd really suggest MV's very gently approach

[Brooksie]

Attachment disorders aren't always the result of being poorly parented. And anxiety disorders in children are notoriously difficult to diagnose.

I too appeared perfectly normal, happy and intelligent on the outside, while on the inside I was one big ball of tightly knotted and frayed nerves. I was a nail biter, and was frequently reminded how disgusting my coping mechanism was. That did not make things any better.


As a provider you have to decide what you can and can't deal with. A child chewing on his shirt or other items is no grosser to me than a baby who drools all over themselves, their clothes and on toys. If you don't feel the same way that's ok, but if you're trying to help him I'd really suggest MV's very gently approach

[Rachel]

It is no more abnormal than thumb ****ing, tag rubbing, fuzzy picking, hair twirling or paci use is.

It's a self soothing/anxiety reducing behavior. I would never punish, shame or restrict a child for or from something like that.


If you feel the need to do something, ask the child if he needs a hug in those moments. Because that's all he is seeking and getting from doing what he's doing with the chewing. The chewelry is a great idea too. They do make fabric ones.

I agree. One of my kids did it. She still does it sometimes at 9. It's frustrating (especially since she's the biggest, so I need to pass down clothing and it's not fair to her sisters), but what can you do. She is not doing it on purpose. Do you punish kids who bite their nails or **** their thumbs also? I agree it's gross. Children are sometimes gross. It comes with the territory

[daycarediva]

The comment about him needing to be a "man" really says a lot about how his parents feel and their parenting philosophies.....

Also the fact that mom won't or doesn't want to wash "so much laundry" (kids' shirts are hardly an entire load) says a lot too.... their child has a basic need and she doesn't want to do a bunch of laundry.... LOL!! :: ::

Ah the 'be a man' comment. They call him 'little man' and I catch myself doing it, too. In some ways he IS a little man. Wise, calm, patient, he is also fiercely independent and VERY proud of doing things for himself. He broke one of my solar lights outside kicking it earlier this year-picked up early and didn't want to stop the activity- and his Dad said to him right in front of me "When you grow up and become a big man, you can't do those things. Lets fix this for Miss ****, and man up and say sorry." and the little guy did. It's never like "**** it up and be a man." or said meanly or down to him, it's very much a nick name and affection thing.

As far as Mom with the laundry, she works 2 jobs and Dad doesn't do laundry. So it would add up over the course of a week. She even said she isn't so sure he has enough shirts. It IS an inconvenience, as children usually are.

I do laundry everyday, and honestly tossing his things in with the daycare hand towels won't be a big issue.

Attachment disorders aren't always the result of being poorly parented. And anxiety disorders in children are notoriously difficult to diagnose.

I too appeared perfectly normal, happy and intelligent on the outside, while on the inside I was one big ball of tightly knotted and frayed nerves. I was a nail biter, and was frequently reminded how disgusting my coping mechanism was. That did not make things any better.


As a provider you have to decide what you can and can't deal with. A child chewing on his shirt or other items is no grosser to me than a baby who drools all over themselves, their clothes and on toys. If you don't feel the same way that's ok, but if you're trying to help him I'd really suggest MV's very gently approach

It makes me sad to think that there could be so much inner turmoil or issue. He is quite verbal, maybe I'll pull out my Joy Berry books and get him to talk and see if there is something bothering him or if there is anything I can do.

I NEVER shame or scold him. I have tried "Oops, bud looks like your shirt is in your mouth again." and he says "I know, I put it there."

I don't have babies in care, and he is quite more mobile than a drooling infant. His shirt becomes so wet it's saturated and laying on things, (he loves to lay on the floor and build) make the floor visibly wet. Definitely a sanitary issue.

Today before lunch he went into the bathroom to go potty and changed his shirt by himself. I didn't tell him to, and he didn't say anything to me about it. He put his shirt in the daycare hamper and went back to music time without a word.

Maybe giving HIM more control of it and allowing him the option to change? (a cold, wet, shirt doesn't look very comfortable) and saying NOTHING to him about it might help? Goodness knows Mom and Dad have tried the reverse. Mom and Dad have been not saying anything and taking his shirt out of his mouth (or lovey) whenever they see him do it. It's been over a month with that technique and we have seen no noticeable improvement.

[Blackcat31]

I think the preschool year are frightening to a child in and of themselves. They are learning and feeling so much more than tired, hungry, sad, mad and happy.

They are experiencing anxiety, embarrassment, humiliation, self-consciousness, self-awareness, perspective thinking, decision making, apprehension, worry, frustration, boredom, confidence, guilt, etc etc...

THAT is ALOT of new emotions and feelings and half the kids can't even name those emotions so I can see why just being a preschooler is stressful enough on it's own.....it's enough to make me chew on my clothes

TOTALLY get what you are saying though about the little man thing and his intelligence. My son sounds similar.

My son is really smart too and struggled emotionally and mentally while trying to fit into a world he didn't know well and maneuvering into independence can be frightful sometimes to kids smart enough to worry about "big kid" stuff....

I'd either try to have mom go buy a cheap package of Hanes Kid's Tees ($5 for a 5 pack maybe ??) and use them.

As for dad not doing laundry.... I think his wife needs to let him know that the washer and dryer are not picky about which sex loads it, adds soap and pushes the button. I am pretty sure he can figure it out.

[Starburst]

I don't think its that uncommon. I used to do that as a kid (chew on the front of my shirt), and have seen some kids do that too. I'm not really sure why I did it and now when I think about it my front teeth feel sensitive and it kinda makes me lightheaded/nauseous (I imagine its the same thing as when some people hear drills and their teeth hurt).

He may not have sensory issues per se, but it could be a sensory thing where it gives him comfort to do that because it has a similar texture to his lovey. He's probably so used to his lovey being his security blanket that it has become a nervous habit to chew on something. So when he is without it he will try to find a substitute, even if it wasn't this it would probably have develop into another habit like ****ing his thumb, biting his nails, or chewing on something else (pencils/pens, toys, gum).

He will most likely grow out of this phase but it may develop into another habit such as nail biting, face touching, finger/joint popping, or other types of fidgeting. Maybe you can try to find another outlet for his nervous energy- like having a little note pad he can carry around and doodle in when he feels nervous or one of those bubble pop key chains http://thatslikewhoa.com/popping-bubble-wrap-keychain/

[daycarediva]

I think the preschool year are frightening to a child in and of themselves. They are learning and feeling so much more than tired, hungry, sad, mad and happy.

They are experiencing anxiety, embarrassment, humiliation, self-consciousness, self-awareness, perspective thinking, decision making, apprehension, worry, frustration, boredom, confidence, guilt, etc etc...

THAT is ALOT of new emotions and feelings and half the kids can't even name those emotions so I can see why just being a preschooler is stressful enough on it's own.....it's enough to make me chew on my clothes

TOTALLY get what you are saying though about the little man thing and his intelligence. My son sounds similar.

My son is really smart too and struggled emotionally and mentally while trying to fit into a world he didn't know well and maneuvering into independence can be frightful sometimes to kids smart enough to worry about "big kid" stuff....

I'd either try to have mom go buy a cheap package of Hanes Kid's Tees ($5 for a 5 pack maybe ??) and use them.

As for dad not doing laundry.... I think his wife needs to let him know that the washer and dryer are not picky about which sex loads it, adds soap and pushes the button. I am pretty sure he can figure it out.

Yes bc! That makes so much sense. This is a child who understands rules and is VERY precise, so he may be holding it in as far as behavior, expectations, etc and feeling anxiety about it. I really have NEVER had to tell him something twice. He has a hard time with change, and summer has seen three vacations, his parents went on a cruise and he stayed with grandma, and 2 of 'my' kids are going to K. One he is best buddies with. He DEFINITELY understands that he won't be here for outside free play. Ugh.

Sometimes it takes an outside perspective to make you think about things differently.

He was a late talker, but he never displayed any of the frustration, and when he started to talk, it was short sentences. He watches/observes and then does it perfectly. I just LOVE this little guy.

I just sent dcm a text about the hanes tees. I offered to wash them here with our hand towels (wash nightly anyway, what's 5 shirts?)

LOL with the washer/dryer. Her dh broke the dishwasher (overloaded it with REGULAR dishsoap. It was everywhere and burned out the motor somehow.

[mnemom]

My kid is a shirt chewer. It helps a ton if he wears tight tight tight fitting shirts and no shirts with long sleeves. Target sells compression shirts for a very reasonable price. He has anxiety and adhd so he chews as an outlet.

[Familycare71]

I didn't read all of the posts.
My son chewed his blanket and then his shirt collars when he was younger. Yes sometimes they would get wet and he would have to change. It comforted him. I guess I don't understand what the huge deal is? If the wetness is an issue are you willing to give him an appropriate item to chew? cheap washcloths or the chew fabric bracelets seem like a good idea.
Btw my son does have ADHD but otherwise is a normally functioning kid- just what he did for a bit.
And I would agree a bib would be over dramatic to the situation...

[countrymom]

since everyone says its a disorder, I think its a habit. And now its a habit that is hard to break. At first it may have been child dealing with anxiety (which is normal) but now its become a habit. Its a habit because now the child has to have something in their mouth ALL THE TIME.

also, I don't understand how some of you say its not a big deal. Its gross and being wet breeds bacteria and the smell, omg it stinks too (I've had chewers here) it really smells bad.

to me, it now sounds like the child doesn't know what to do, he's chewing out of boredom and habit.

I had a little girl who would **** her thumb, all day long and rub her nose with her finger at the same time. Her thumb was blistered and her nose had a rub marking everyday. Every time I saw her with her thumb I would take her thumb out. I starte to notice that she was doing it because she was bored and habit, but when she was playing she wouldnt

[Maria2013]

At first it may have been child dealing with anxiety (which is normal) but now its become a habit.
also, I don't understand how some of you say its not a big deal. Its gross and being wet breeds bacteria and the smell, omg it stinks too (I've had chewers here) it really smells bad.

I agee

[Familycare71]

since everyone says its a disorder, I think its a habit. And now its a habit that is hard to break. At first it may have been child dealing with anxiety (which is normal) but now its become a habit. Its a habit because now the child has to have something in their mouth ALL THE TIME.

also, I don't understand how some of you say its not a big deal. Its gross and being wet breeds bacteria and the smell, omg it stinks too (I've had chewers here) it really smells bad.

to me, it now sounds like the child doesn't know what to do, he's chewing out of boredom and habit.

I had a little girl who would **** her thumb, all day long and rub her nose with her finger at the same time. Her thumb was blistered and her nose had a rub marking everyday. Every time I saw her with her thumb I would take her thumb out. I starte to notice that she was doing it because she was bored and habit, but when she was playing she wouldnt

I dont know- my sons never smelled. No one touched his shirt collar. But he also didnt soak it regularly. I find it to be less troublesome germ wise than fingers in the mouth.
Sometimes I feel like coping actions become habits when adults make a big deal of it. When it is constantly drawing attention it gives it the power to be something it originally wasn't. In my experience when it is ignored/not commented on it disappears once they no longer need it. Obviously as providers we can't control that at home but I have never had a big fight with any dck or my own about giving up comfort things because they just do it when they are ready.
But that's just my experience.

[Sprouts]

My little brother who is now 22 would always chew his sleeves up until about 12 years old? He's in college now, very energetic and social, and happy. He was diagnosed with ADHD put he functions fine as a young adult now. I just figured he was stick in the oral fixation phase. If the child is chewing on cloths I would recommend giving him at least organic cotton with no dyes and washed with clear detergent. There are so many chemicals that go into making clothing, it can't be good if he's ****ing all of these chemicals out. Amazon sells organic cotton, it's used for cloth daipers, but it can be used for anything else

[Cradle2crayons]

I see a few different sides to this.

First, obviously he can't go to school chewing on his shirts. I honestly don't think they are going to tolerate him having to change shirts multiple times a day. Especially since his doctor says nothing is wrong. Now, if his doctor had diagnosed an anxiety problem, that may be different. But you have been with him for two years. If you really believe he is a well adjusted little boy, then go with your gut.

If that's the case, there are a few other options:::: a sensory disorder OR a habit

If it were a sensory disorder, I would think you'd see it in other areas, but possibly not.

That would leave a habit as the most probable option, at least that's what I'm thinking.

If I truly in my gut thought this was a habit thing, I'd come up with a plan with mom to break is habit before he starts school. Mainly because if it IS just a habit, what if the school pushes for a psych diagnosis which isn't true and he gets onto a diagnosis train and in the wrong direction. I've heard of schools locally purposefully encouraging a psych diagnosis just to get extra state money. That wouldn't do him any good. Especially if he really doesn't have a psych diagnosis.

That being said, my approach would be to make his chewing less desirable, while not being verbally against it. Give him other sensory outlets that are acceptable. If he doesn't chose any of them, then that would support habit and not sensory.

Have mom and dad let him go without a shirt for a three day weekend and remove all clothing from access. Give him acceptable outlets, don't draw attention to the shirt thing, and attempt to break the habit at home first. Then on the last day home, put him in a shirt, give him acceptable chew items, and remind him what he can chew on but don't out him down if he tries to choose the shirt. Gently remind him what he's allowed to chew.

Once you get him off the shirt and onto something acceptable, then allow it every X hours and put it in the cubby. Every week offer it less and less. Keep giving him the nap lovey because he most likely won't be required to nap for kindy anyway.

Over a period of time, yu should be able to wean him to doing the chewing in private. If he feels the need, he can chew it when he goes into the bathroom, during nap time, or other times when it's okay.


I've had chewers before and my daughter was a habitual thumb ****er.

This worked for all of them, even the ones who were clearly sensory and the ones who were clearly anxiety.

[countrymom]

I was thinking the same thing. What would happen if he didn't wear a shirt all day. what would he do.