Terming Questions

[Familycare71]

I've been doing this for 14 years.
I have termed 3 but it should have been 6.

1. Was a boy who was 3 and cried non stop all day for months. He needed speech and some other help but mom wouldn't take him for an eval. I changed my hours...
2. Was a special needs girl who had a fantastic mom! I gave her every ounce I had but it ended up I couldn't give enough attention. It was really taking away from the others.
3. Was a dcb who I adored but his parents were getting paranoid- calling all the time to ask about certain situations dcb(3) mentioned. Then I had a foster child come live with me and they wanted every little detail. I told mom if she couldn't trust me this wasn't the right place for her son. She was flabbergasted but I was done!

I should have termed: a SA boy who had ODD and would act out- parents never helped, a baby who cried non stop and mom told me to lay on the couch tummy down so he would sleep (um NO) and a parent who after having her second baby lost a marble or two- she was the best mom before second baby and after was a mess! I was very attached to the first child and cared for him until he aged out- second baby left then too

I do think terming is mentioned here a ton... However I have had those kids/families leave and felt 100 x's better instantly! I think now I have found a good balance but I still have a horrible time doing it!

[JoseyJo]

I know I have asked on this forum about situations where I knew I should term (and was told by most of the members who answered that I should term) , I have also been told my the surveyor that she would term if she were me with a few kids when I called asked her questions (a cloth diaper fiasco and a WAY over protective mom come to mind). In most of those situations I never termed. I found new solutions or just more patience for the situation by posting/venting. Sometimes it ending up working out, and sometimes I just toughed it out until they aged out or moved

[snbauser]

Been in business for 11 years with a 3 month break about a year ago. I have termed twice. Once for a 3 year old who was violent and had behavior issues. We tried bringing in a specialist who pretty much told me I was already doing everything she would have wanted me to do. She worked with parents for about 2 months but when there still was no change here I told her that it just wasn't working out. The second one was a 9 month old who screamed - not cried, screamed - the entire time he was here unless he was held and slept for 20 minuted during the day and woke up screaming for the first 2 weeks.

[Crazy8]

I have been running my daycare for almost 13 years.

I have termed 1 child in all that time.

The child was more than I could handle with my group. Very disruptive, cried constantly, was very delayed but parents refused to acknowledge any of it.

Kids are not very easy to come by here and I rely on my income so I don't term a child unless I really need to.

[Blackcat31]

Keep in mind that while it may be suggested on the board to term for certain situations, there are loads of members here

I do think terming is mentioned here a ton... However I have had those kids/families leave and felt 100 x's better instantly! I think now I have found a good balance but I still have a horrible time doing it!

I wish there was a way to measure but I can practically guarantee that there is a direct correlation to having to term a client and a provider's backbone (or lack of).

Usually, when I DO suggest terming a client to member of this board...it's because the client has gotten the upper hand because the provider failed in some way to use their backbone and enforce their policies.

9 out of 10 times IMO, terming becomes the ONLY option for some providers.

Enforcing your policies IS hard. But fixing a situation AFTER is gets bad, is even harder.

Usually when it reaches that point, a provider just ends up terming as that is the easier way out than doing any type of "clean up".