About To Term For Biting And Pinching-Any Last Ditch Suggestions?

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  • Laurel
    Daycare.com Member
    • Mar 2013
    • 3218

    #16
    Maybe your biter wasn't biting at home. My grandson wasn't either because there were only adults there. He was biting out of frustration when someone tried to take his toy at my house. Adults never tried to take his toy at home.

    Just wondering what the mom could have done about him if he wasn't doing it at home.

    Just sayin......

    Laurel

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    • Laurel
      Daycare.com Member
      • Mar 2013
      • 3218

      #17
      Originally posted by Sunchimes
      Laurel, you're right. I probably should have said more along the lines of bullying type behavior. His mom is the one who labeled him a bully. I know the biting is going to happen at this age, and if I had regular kids that could understand moving out of his way or hitting back or ignoring him, I'd try to hang on. But it isn't the case. He is determined to hurt this baby. I'm not even sure that yanking his hair is developmentally appropriate. At least it's not something I've ever encountered.

      We had just finished weaning him from using a paci all day, but out of desperation, I gave it back. He takes it out to bite. The only benefit to the paci is that the act of removing it sort of warns me to move fast.

      I've been shadowing for the last 6 weeks with no luck
      Oh okay, that word for an 18 month old just bothered me.

      Laurel

      Comment

      • Sunchimes
        Daycare.com Member
        • Nov 2011
        • 1847

        #18
        He does bite at home-he bites his 8 month old cousin. They bite him back but they said it hasn't stopped him.

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        • LaLa1923
          mommyof5-and going crazy
          • Oct 2012
          • 1103

          #19
          Then they have not bitten him hard enough!!


          I'm sorry but an 18mo old CAN be a bully. I do believe they will and CAN hurt another child just because they can!! I don't think there is always a reason!

          My 20mo old DCB does this! He will take any opportunity he can to hurt my 3year old son. Always when my little guy is playing on the floor, when he looks smaller to DCB. He has moved on from one or two hits to wailing on my son. My son is 3 yeas old, he's twice as big as dcb. They were playing separate in different parts of the room. DCB at the kitchen, my son on the floor with cars. He walked over to my son and just started wailing on him. To me this is completely not normal! It is obvious DCB needs a rude awakening, I'm thinking of not intervening so quick next time to see if my son lets him know in his way that that is not ok.

          I can understand it being developmental IF they do it here or there but not every day consistently. To me that is not normal. Kimberly on here had to term an aggressive little guy as well. I feel like a lot of people are quick to say it's "developmental". I'm sorry, but I definitely did not experience anything at this magnitude with any of my kids. Since you only have three I would restrict him to a superyard or follow him around.

          Comment

          • LaLa1923
            mommyof5-and going crazy
            • Oct 2012
            • 1103

            #20
            Originally posted by Laurel
            I'm probably in the minority here but I just can't bear hearing an 18 month old labeled a bully for biting when it is not unheard of at that age. My grandson bit and it was a long time shadowing him but he was my grandson and I wasn't going to term. He's on 'scholarship' too.

            I just had to shadow it seems like forever but finally he stopped. The other thing I learned from having a biter or two in the past is the bitee should have long sleeves and long pants on to minimize the pain.

            The mom of the child he bit was very understanding. The reason was because I had the sibling of the biten child years ago. She reminded me that her son was the biter and now her daughter was the bitee.

            If you just can't see shadowing him for as long as it takes, then for your own peace of mind you'd have to term.

            It might also work to have a teething ring necklace and tell him to bite that.

            Laurel
            To me this seems crazy, if you have to cover another child to protect them from someone else.....how is this normal??

            Comment

            • Laurel
              Daycare.com Member
              • Mar 2013
              • 3218

              #21
              Originally posted by LaLa1923
              Then they have not bitten him hard enough!!


              I'm sorry but an 18mo old CAN be a bully. I do believe they will and CAN hurt another child just because they can!! I don't think there is always a reason!

              My 20mo old DCB does this! He will take any opportunity he can to hurt my 3year old son. Always when my little guy is playing on the floor, when he looks smaller to DCB. He has moved on from one or two hits to wailing on my son. My son is 3 yeas old, he's twice as big as dcb. They were playing separate in different parts of the room. DCB at the kitchen, my son on the floor with cars. He walked over to my son and just started wailing on him. To me this is completely not normal! It is obvious DCB needs a rude awakening, I'm thinking of not intervening so quick next time to see if my son lets him know in his way that that is not ok.

              I can understand it being developmental IF they do it here or there but not every day consistently. To me that is not normal. Kimberly on here had to term an aggressive little guy as well. I feel like a lot of people are quick to say it's "developmental". I'm sorry, but I definitely did not experience anything at this magnitude with any of my kids. Since you only have three I would restrict him to a superyard or follow him around.
              I haven't had any luck with super yards because if biter goes there then the other ones are little and they go up to the super yard to see what is in there and the biter nabs them there. I didn't try a super yard per se but a gate. They were each on their own side of the gate but as long as biter can reach the other child and she bugs him, he would bite her. Luckily he doesn't bite anymore. Whew....

              Laurel

              Comment

              • Laurel
                Daycare.com Member
                • Mar 2013
                • 3218

                #22
                Originally posted by LaLa1923
                To me this seems crazy, if you have to cover another child to protect them from someone else.....how is this normal??
                The point isn't to let the biter bite at will JUST because the child is covered. That WOULD be crazy I agree. The point is that as hard as you try you can't be 100% sure that the poor child won't get bitten so you at least want to attempt to have them protected as much as possible in the event that it does happen.

                The mom of the bitee was very happy when I suggested it.

                Laurel

                Comment

                • LaLa1923
                  mommyof5-and going crazy
                  • Oct 2012
                  • 1103

                  #23
                  Originally posted by Laurel
                  I haven't had any luck with super yards because if biter goes there then the other ones are little and they go up to the super yard to see what is in there and the biter nabs them there. I didn't try a super yard per se but a gate. They were each on their own side of the gate but as long as biter can reach the other child and she bugs him, he would bite her. Luckily he doesn't bite anymore. Whew....

                  Laurel
                  I understand this! I put up 2 gates and spaced them apart so he can not push the infants down from standing up at their gate.

                  Comment

                  • Laurel
                    Daycare.com Member
                    • Mar 2013
                    • 3218

                    #24
                    Originally posted by LaLa1923
                    I understand this! I put up 2 gates and spaced them apart so he can not push the infants down from standing up at their gate.
                    I don't have anywhere to hook two gates. I have two openings out of the room and they both have a gate. Other than that, it is one big room.

                    You wouldn't happen to have a picture, would you? I'd like to have an area inside the room that is separate but could never figure out how to do it.

                    Thanks, Laurel

                    Comment

                    • Laurel
                      Daycare.com Member
                      • Mar 2013
                      • 3218

                      #25
                      Originally posted by Sunchimes
                      He does bite at home-he bites his 8 month old cousin. They bite him back but they said it hasn't stopped him.
                      I've had that experience as well. If someone else bites a biter at least mine was too young to understand the connection of
                      'if I hurt you then you hurt me back." You could see in his face that he didn't get it. He just seemed to wonder why someone was being mean to HIM for no apparent reason.

                      My grandson would even bite himself if no one else was around when he was frustrated. I kid you not! I've never seen THAT before. It didn't phase him that he bit himself. It hurt, he cried but then would do it again later....

                      Biting back is usually useless unless they are older. I've heard of 3 year olds that bite. Not at my house but just saying.... By then they KNOW and I think it is a totally different situation.

                      Laurel

                      Comment

                      • LaLa1923
                        mommyof5-and going crazy
                        • Oct 2012
                        • 1103

                        #26
                        Originally posted by Willow
                        Call me crazy, old school, cruel or whatever but I'd tell mom to take him home and if he bit her or anyone else again she should bite him the heck back.

                        And hard.

                        Maybe invite the cousins over and set him up to knock out a few eye for an eye lessons asap.


                        I've never seen a biter that finally got a taste of his own medicine bite much beyond that.

                        Comment

                        • LaLa1923
                          mommyof5-and going crazy
                          • Oct 2012
                          • 1103

                          #27
                          Originally posted by Laurel
                          I don't have anywhere to hook two gates. I have two openings out of the room and they both have a gate. Other than that, it is one big room.

                          You wouldn't happen to have a picture, would you? I'd like to have an area inside the room that is separate but could never figure out how to do it.

                          Thanks, Laurel
                          You can make it smaller or wider
                          Attached Files

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                          • Laurel
                            Daycare.com Member
                            • Mar 2013
                            • 3218

                            #28
                            Originally posted by LaLa1923
                            You can make it smaller or wider
                            Thanks but I don't get the picture. :confused:

                            Is the part with the numbers on it a wall or ??? The gates only attach on one side so I can't tell how they are standing up and can't someone walk around them?

                            I don't know how to post pics but I did find a link. I had something like this in mind a while back but didn't think to screw the shelves together and don't know how she anchored them to the floor on one side like she says. I could hire someone to do this for me for pretty cheap I think. Just not sure I want to go to the trouble or expense when I am probably going to retire in a year or so though. It is just soooo cool looking to me though.



                            It is about the 4th post down.

                            Laurel

                            Comment

                            • momofsix
                              Advanced Daycare.com Member
                              • Oct 2009
                              • 1846

                              #29
                              Haha I had a hard time at first too! If you have a laptop turn it sideways to look at the picture correctly-it's sideways!

                              Comment

                              • LaLa1923
                                mommyof5-and going crazy
                                • Oct 2012
                                • 1103

                                #30
                                The gates are pressure mounted. The floor has a numbered rug. I'm not sure why it posted that way. I took it right.

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